Please recommend your favorite books on...

[Gentlemommy]

How to better parent, help, and understand a child with aspergers/HFA, SPD, ADHD, and anxiety. I am not looking for quick fixes for specific behavior, but more of an insight to the why of the behavior in the first place. Does that make sense? Nothing punitive, that just wouldn't work for our family. Something where when it suggests a parenting choice or method and explains the why of how it will help the child.

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around some of the things dd does and I know they are related to this, but I can't always tease out what I should accommodate or where I should stick to my guns...sometimes her emotional outbursts seem so...bratty, but I know that she wouldn't be doing this is she didn't feel out of sorts. I just don't know how to get her out of that defensive mode. She is 5, if that helps for suggestions. Thanks in advance!

[PeterPan]

I'm reading Stop that Seemingly Senseless Behavior by Glasberg, and it's what convinced me (along with some back channel) to call in a behaviorist. At some point we've tried everything and its time to move to evidence based practices.

[kbutton]

The Survival Guide for Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders is a good one for using kid-friendly language to understand what's going on. It's written for kids or parents and kids to read together. It's not exactly what you are looking for in regard to a path forward, but it does give insight and also gives you words to use with your kids.

[Kat w]

Oh....I found one I thought looked good yesterday on a different forum....let me try to find thst thread. Something told me to bookmark it but I didn't and I read a ton of threads. Might take me a bit.

It might not work for you but could be worth a try. I'll look today.

[Kat w]

I can't believe I found it so quickly. I need to get it too.

Alot of moms on another forum have read it and said it has given them insights to what the child has going on inside....and yes! That makes perfect sense. :)

It is sublabeled the spd child but moms said it touches on other issues and more of the why's., though not a comprehensive book according to the other moms....still a very good on and they got alot of useful information out of it. How to better deal with and interact with kids with these issues.

Note: I have not read it personally , yet, this is the info the other moms passed on.

 

The out of sync child

By Carol stock kranowitz

 

Hope it helps. It's on my list to get :)

Edited November 29, 2015 by Kat w

[Mom28GreatKids]

I just finished The Out of Sync Child and am in the middle of Raising a Sensory Smart Child by Lindsey Biel and Nancy Peske. The later is super practical. Lots of good info about specific issues- what to do if your child hates a bike helmet, doesn't like hair cuts, won't take a bath, etc.

[Kat w]

How was the oit of sync child?

Would you recommend it ? Did it have useful information do you think?

Edited November 29, 2015 by Kat w

[Mom28GreatKids]

I thought the OoSC was very informative. It explained the different senses and the systems (vestibular, proprioceptive, and tactile) and gave good descriptions of how the child with SPD often has either underdeveloped or overdeveloped systems, and the behavior both causes. It helped me to see why my child does certain things- he is a sensory seeker for the most part, though avoids some auditory and touch. It was more philosophical than practical, if that makes sense. I sort of said at the end, ok, so now what?? I think that is where the RaSSC comes in. It was recommended by the clinic where my son gets speech and OT.

[Lecka]

It has been a while since I have read it, but I got a lot out of Ellen Notbohm's book about 10 Things Every Chil With Autism Wishes You Knew.

[Kat w]

Mom28great kids....thst makes perfect sense. :)

I'm gonna get both books. Thank you for the feedback

[Guest]

Uniquely Human by Barry M. Prizant, PHD

It will give you some of the whys, which can be different for different kids. The suggestions are very respectful to the person with autism. Not exactly a how to book as what works for one child may not work for another but, like Temple Grandin says on the cover, "I love his approach!"

Edited August 12, 2017 by Guest

[Lecka]

I don't exactly have a specific recommendation, but www.socialthinking.com is good in general. I have seen presentations about Superflex by them, and I have The Incredible Flexible You.

 

It is explaining things like.... perspective taking, black-and-white thinking, what it feels like to not understand a social situation, and that kind of thing.

 

Then if you see that there is a connection between these areas and some things you are seeing, you can go "oh, maybe this is black-and-white thinking" or something.

 

Then there are explanations for black-and-white thinking.

 

But then, if it turns out you are not seeing problems caused by black-and-white thinking or perspective taking, then ----- it is like, it is good information, maybe for the future, but maybe not what you are looking for right now.

 

I had a while when my son's top issue in a lot of ways was identified as "transitions." I read everything I could read about transitions, strategies to support transitions, explanations for various reasons that transitions can be difficult, etc. There is not a book called "transitions: everything you need to know." I wish there was. And even then ---- let's say there are 5 major explanations, but only 3 of them seem to apply to my son at present. Well, how I do I know unless I read about all 5 and think about them and look at them, and then over time see "okay, it looks like THIS is what is going on."

 

So I think on one hand, any book is going to be useful b/c there will be some kind of useful information or insight.

 

I also think there are general-information books that are really good to read and helpful for an overview.

 

But the books that are broad, do not have the specific strategies, a lot of the time.

 

The books that have the specific strategies, are pretty specific to one little area.

 

Then, even if I wrote a book that was called "everything that has helped me understand transitions and strategies that have worked for my son" it might not be so helpful to another person, b/c our kids would be different, different strategies might work better, and there might be different reasons for the difficulty in transitioning.

 

But realistically -- I think reading some of the broader books is really helpful. Then if you sample different areas of specific books/areas, I think you will start to see "okay, I need to focus on this." Sometimes you need to know something even exists before you can know to focus on it. But as you find that out, you start to see what to focus on, and then you are going to see that your strategies, approaches, and understanding are going to tie into specifics about your daughter.

 

But it would take somebody who knows your daughter personally, and/or specific examples, to start getting ideas about the more specific areas.

 

There is just a lot of information, and the more general/broad information I think is really helpful. But, when it starts to get more specific, kids are so different and it gets very far from anything one-size-fits-all.

 

So then it is like -- you do want an individualized approach based on your child's specific traits and needs, on some level. And then, on some level, it is not really possible to get that by reading a parenting book, the way it is with other things (in general parenting) where you can be like "oh, I want to do this kind of parenting," or "oh, I want to do that kind of parenting." But, there is still a lot of information available to be able to look for a lot of strategies and approaches, which usually will start with, in Ch. 1 or the introduction, a little bit of "why this is a need with autism" or "how this connects to autism." Then the rest of the book is just: how to implement the strategy. That is pretty common in the more specific books.

[PeterPan]

This isn't a book, but if you watch this free video series, which is divided into short chunks, you'll get a LOT of great help.  It's a lot like that book I listed above, but it's in short videos (10-20 min each), with examples, etc.  Very much worth the time to watch.  

 

http://www.ocali.org/project/challenging_behavior_video_series

[Lecka]

https://www.autisminternetmodules.org/dash.php?cat=dash_tab_mn

 

This requires a registration, but then it is free. It is something they have new aides and paras watch in our school district.

 

It has a section "recognizing autism," and then it has a few areas, and gives a brief overview of each of the areas. It divides the areas into: cognitive differences, language/communication, social, sensory, and repetitive interests.

 

You get a brief overview of each area. If you think a lot of your problems are coming from one area, you can look more into that area.

 

You mention anxiety in the first post. Now, my son does not currently seem to have any issues with anxiety, but I have been told that he could have problems with anxiety as he gets older and more socially aware.

 

If you think or know, and it sounds like you do, that anxiety is a factor, then that gives you a lot of direction. In things that I have come across that address anxiety: I have seen it mentioned in socialthinking.com type of stuff, where they say they see anxiety related to social difficulty. I have seen it mentioned in relation to cognitive areas where it is hard for kids to know what to expect b/c they may not be able to predict common things that are going to occur (in things talking about gestalt thinking, and seeing a whole instead of focusing on parts). I see a LOT about a connection between anxiety and sensory defensiveness.

 

I also know in my school district they use The Incredible 5-Point Scale and Superflex as interventions with anxiety, in general, plus whatever they do more specifically for individuals. I think (not sure) that Zones of Regulation has some anxiety-type stuff, too.

 

Those three I just mentioned are not approaches/interventions that are appropriate for my son right now. He is not going to fit into them right now.

 

There is just a lot of information and a lot of possibilities, though.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Managing-Anxiety-People-Autism-Professionals/dp/1606130048/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1448897204&sr=8-1&keywords=topics+in+autism+anxietyI have not read this book, but I have liked the books I have read in this series "Topics in Autism." I am aware from the back cover of books in the series, this is a book from the series about anxiety. Honestly I would try it just b/c I have liked books in this series.

 

But it won't (probably) also be a book about sensory issues.

 

Another thing, is that I have Tony Attwood's main book about Aspergers, but I do not have or really read any other books about Aspergers.

 

When your daughter is diagnosed with HFA, this means that it is *possible* that you will get a huge amount of help from books about Aspergers. I think you should look into the Aspergers books and if they seem like they are a good fit, then I think that would be a really good direction to go in. I like the Tony Attwood book I have, but it is just not very applicable to my son at this time, that is just not his profile. But if your daughter fits into this kind of profile, then I think that is a really good direction to look into.

 

Then, ADHD, I do not know. You post separately for that.

 

Oh, there is also Temple Grandin! I think she would be really worth checking out b/c she has HFA/Aspergers and has had anxiety and sensory issues.

Edited November 30, 2015 by Lecka

[Guest]

Temple Grandin's The Way I See It is a personal favorite of mine. It was the second book I read when I was researching autism before my boys were diagnosed. The first was actually her story with the title Emergence. I always recommend The Way I See It. Excellent resource!

[Kat w]

Gentlemommy I hope you don't mind my asking under your post. Lots of good info here.

 

Lecka, in your experience do you HAVE to do the ...I think it's like soial detective ( something detective) before moving onto superflex or the others?

It's recommended to do so on their website but , I HAVE to be budget conscience. Does one build on the detective one do you know?

[Lecka]

Honestly I don't think the Social Detective book is that good. It is like -- not something I would read my son, and have him pick anything up from it. Then for me to read it -- I didn't get much out of it at all. But, I have heard about the concepts b/c I go to information nights in my town, etc, and have read about similar things, etc.

 

I have The Incredible Flexible You. Okay, I really like it. I do really like it. BUT on a certain level -- it is 5 short picture books! There is truly not a lot to it. One of the story books (on "the group plan") is over my son's head. But, he likes the other 4 and has gotten a lot out of them. But, they are *very* simple picture books, too. I can see finding it very, very light and disappointing. But, I do like it. Nothing from the thick book that comes with the story books is accessible for me as a parent and for my son's level.

 

But, he likes the story books, and we have been able to read them over and over. In the future I think we will get use out of the thick book of suggested activities to go along with the picture books.

 

For Superflex -- I don't think you have to have the Social Detective book.

 

I think, the Social Detective book is like ----- a book you would ask someone to read who was going to be with your child or around your child. A book that somebody could read in 15 minutes and have an understanding of the language/concepts, if you wanted that person to carry over the language/concepts in that setting.

 

Okay, so that is my opinion. I think you might find another person who got more out of it, or who could read it together with a child.

 

For the "read it together with a child" part ----- it is an older book (from my understanding)and I think they have higher-quality (or more attractive to kids, not so obviously educational) stuff now. I don't think that at my kids' school when they are working with Superflex, they go, "Okay, first let's read You as a Social Detective."

 

I don't think they build on it.

 

But, I have never used Superflex. It is more that I have heard of it and I have heard examples from it and seen some of the materials. That is more of my impression. It is not necessary at all to go with The Incredible Flexible You, imo, and I do have it. Well, I may have loaned it to somebody, actually, so I don't think I can go look in it (well, the story books and then the thick book). I don't care for the music cd that goes along with it, but to each their own on that.

 

Separately ---- looking at your kids' ages ----- I think they would find The Incredible Flexible You to be babyish, so I don't recommend getting it for older kids, unless they have an interest level where they would like a picture book that younger kids like. My daughter is NT and she liked the story books and pre-school and Kindergarten, I bet she would still like them this year in 1st grade. My 10-year-old son would not *mind* them as he doesn't *mind* listening in on little kid story times, but he just would not *engage* with him even if the concepts were appropriate, b/c it would just not be the right level for his interest/engagement.

Edited November 30, 2015 by Lecka

[Guest]

nm

Edited August 12, 2017 by Guest

[Kat w]

Thank you. That's what I was hoping for :) I don't want to buy it. The description just didn't ' grab' me.

 

I was going to get the incredible flexible you so thank you for that also. I so hate wasting my money. Esp. At Christmas time.

 

Ill get superflex. Usually has been my experience anyway, when you hear things about something, usually pretty good.

The zones book and posters are so expensive. I feel I need to get the posters ( kids are very visual) man tho, spending 40. On the zones boom just hard to do. I'm very sure its worth it and I'll need it. Ouy. Money money lol

Thanks Lecka, I appreciate it :)

[Lecka]

One of the stories from The Incredible Flexible You, and my son has LOVED it (I have gone through them in heavy rotation twice, and he has gone through the book with eye gaze a lot in his therapy... and I loaned them to somebody and think I will get them back and still have good use out of them in the future....)...... okay, anyway, one my son just loves is about 4 kids going swimming in the ocean. They are looking for a shark's tooth. They look and look. Then they are in a cave or somewhere dark, and they find a shark tooth ----- then, surprise! It is in the shark's mouth! They have found a shark!

 

This is just like -- fascinating and fun to my little kids. They love it.

 

But my 10-year-old ---- he will listen with an attitude like "well, it is the little kids' story time, whatever) and he may like it a little. But he thinks it is babyish and just would not engage with it.

 

You would not even have younger kids where you would have that as an excuse. Maybe you could have them "help" younger kids to get exposure. But honestly -- I think it would take a lot of motivation and not just be something that was honestly engaging to an older child.

 

The age range for them iirc is pre-school to age 7 or kids with that interest level.

 

So, like, if your kids still honestly really like books that are pre-school/K interest level, which some older kids do, then I think, save your money!

 

But I do think they are quality little books. I have read the shark tooth one (body in the group), the alien one (eye gaze), the "thinking thoughts and feeling feelings" one many times and I still like them! My son does not understand The Group Plan and I have no memory of the 5th one right now.

 

I will also say, for the eye gaze one, I would be a little surprised (though I am surprised all the time!) if someone without autism got a huge amount out of it. I have thought it is mostly kids with autism who have trouble with eye gaze. Like, there is a picture of 4 sets of people making eye contact with each other, and you talk about who will dance with who. Or, the aliens have taken clothes out of a backpack, and one is looking at the boots. You talk about what the alien wants to wear. It is mega-obvious to my other two kids.

Edited December 1, 2015 by Lecka

[Kat w]

Oh I'm glad you said that. I put my order together to order in the morning. I had the wrong one written down.

 

I need superfelx ( gr2-5) not the incredible flexible you.

Oh that woulda been bad lol. Ordering the wrong product. All the names are so close....I bugged out on thst one. Thanks. :)

 

Changed my order sheet! :)

Thst does sound really good for my granddaughter . my DD and Sil are paramedic and cop and both in college...I keep her alot and homeschool her when I have her.

 

Me and my DD both highly suspect HFA . she has ever tell tale sign and does exactly what my 11 y.o did at that age. She's quite the handful. :) love her!!!

After Christmas I'm going to order what you were telling the story about . and my boys will do it with her. I LOVE the 'trickery' of getting the older kids to ' wirk' with the younger ones. Have done it for years. Not a one of em have ever caught on :)) good thing. They'd rat me out to the younger kids!! :)

 

Thanks a bunch Lecka

[Lecka]

https://www.facebook.com/autismdiscussionpage/?fref=nf

 

I have been waiting for this to show back up on my Facebook. I have "liked" it and gotten some good information and/or reminders!

 

I have a good impression of it, and it seems pretty broad.

 

It is "Autism Discussion Page" on Facebook, in case my link doesn't work for some reason.

 

I have not read his two books, but based on what I see from "liking" him on Facebook, they seem like they would be solid books.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lecka

[Lecka]

I checked out Uniquely Human today -- I love it so far! Thanks for the recommendation :)