What to do with a 3 yo who does K work better than sister?

[Guest cms7352]

So... my three year old used to just tag along for lessons with his older sister who is five (both just turned that age... 22 months apart + sister was vaccine injured). Now he is bored by the slower pace she needs. So weird. Can someone give me good ideas on how to do lessons separately. He is way faster in reading and math. Everything else they can do together well. The issue I have is he comes into the math or reading lesson and does all the work for her and so she just looks to him for the answers rather than actually learning it herself. It gives me a headache just trying to figure out how to keep him out of it. Does anyone else have this issue?

[TracyP]

Does the 3yo still nap? If so, I would try to do the 5yo's reading and math during nap time.

 

If not, you could get the same result by instituting a quiet time for the 3yo. Quiet time could be spent coloring, reading, listening to an audiobook, doing a puzzle, etc. The only rule would be that he has to stay on the couch, on the bed, in his room (whatever works for your situation) while you work with the 5yo.

[Guest cms7352]

No... he hasn't napped since she stopped napping... tagging along in all things. But I do quiet time during the baby's nap (6 mo). I really like the idea. I feel like I'm going to need a long time training him to do that but in the long run it just can't keep on. Plus she's starting to think she is the S word because he is really crazy ahead. I mean for her age she is pretty ahead in spite of her challenges. But she only has this insanely smart kid to compare herself to. Like she doesn't know most just turned 5 yos can't do any of the stuff she can. So maybe making them both do it during their quiet time and switching off would work? Do you think doing it with him first or second would work better? 

 

[TracyP]

My first thought is to make the 5yo the priority, and do school with her first. However, a little mommy time for the 3yo first might make him more inclined to go play by himself. You probably know best what would work. :)

 

[kiwik]

Would the three year old enjoy preschool a few mornings a week? Then get different maths curricula at least.

[1053]

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[EndOfOrdinary]

So, I was the younger kid. My brother also greatly felt like he was the "S" word.

 

If my parents would have separated us it would have worked better for both of us.

 

It would have worked significantly better for someone to have told me that I thought "faster" (not smarter or better) than my brother and many others. As a result I needed to be aware and kind, provide grace, and realize that learning in groups requires patience. Their thoughts were valuable. Mine were just faster out of my mouth. That doesn't make them better, more right, or stronger.

 

I would have your five year old color or watch an educational show while you worked separately with the three year old in a location the five year old cannot see. Then switch. Listen to audiobooks together. Bake fun things together. Move family time away from academic time. If you do the three year old first he has no need to tag along. He can also be engaged in whatever while you work with your daughter.

[MomatHWTK]

My soon to be 5 y.o. does math and reading separate from the older kids but often "rides along" with their lessons as well.  There is NO hiding his natural bent.  He started saying some of the answers first during group math class when he was 3.  :001_rolleyes:  So I've just explained to the other kids that they are very bright and talented but their little brother is something different altogether.  They aren't to feel bad if he can do amazing things because he's the anomaly not them. 

 

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.  My child who is weak in math draws and paints well enough to sell items at craft fairs.  Two of the kids can understand science concepts that just make my head hurt. The artist and I can't stand to watch a science video with those two because the keep wanting to pause it to discuss the details.  :ack2:  One science guy struggles with reading, the other with social skills. My little math whiz either struggles with reading or just doesn't want to learn yet.

 

I've tried to keep all the kids from being competitive as much as possible, but the older kids still compare with one another sometimes.  For the sake of all the children, each of them does a computer based math program separate from the others.  My two who are closest in age use completely different programs and I've explained to them that one is designed to move faster than the other (spiral vs mastery) so the student using that program may seem "ahead" but it's the program's fault.

 

My advice is to avoid focussing on age or grade level as much as possible.  Help each child with their weaknesses and celebrate their strenghts. But if group studies are hurting anyone's progress or self-esteem, split them up while your work to help them overcome those negative feelings. 

[IsabelC]

We have had similar issues with Ms. 6 blurting out answers before her slower, but older, siblings could answer. I know a 3yo has a lot less self-control than a 6yo, though, so I'd second the suggestion to simply get your younger child out of the way while you are working with the 5yo, and maybe do some one-on-one schooling with the 3yo while the 5yo does something else (perhaps your Ms. 5 could "look after the baby" - at the other end of the room where you can still keep an eye on them - to help her feel mature and capable?)

[boscopup]

I try to keep my younger two in different curricula. I also have a firm rule for those two that giving the other one the answers is not acceptable. They are 2.5 years apart, and the younger one is light years ahead of the older in all the LA subjects, from reading to handwriting. Thankfully, the older one is more mathy than the younger, so that has helped the situation (and they're able to both use the same curriculum in that subject, since older is doing grade 3 and younger grade 1).

 

I've emphasized to my older that I am so proud of him for how hard he has worked at reading. I've also explained that when they're adults, no one will have any idea that the younger was reading at a higher level when they were little. They'll both end up reading like adults, and that's the goal.

 

Gloating is not allowed. We don't hide the fact that the younger can read and write better, but we don't focus on it either. Everyone works at their level in their own curriculum. I work with each student individually. I only combine them in content subjects - history and science.

[Tanikit]

I have a 3 year old and a 7 year old so they are not working at the same level - however I would not just stop instructing my 3 year old so the older child can stay ahead - that would not be fair on the younger child. Definitely separate them for LA and Math and bring them back together for the other subjects. Tell the younger that it is your 5 year olds turn and that he had his turn already (or will still have it) and then use different curricula for them - a 3 year old should really not be following a formal curriculum, but that is not to say they cannot learn to read and write and do mathematics - it usually needs to be more hands on, in shorter bursts and more when he is seeking Mom's attention than as a set scheduled event. Some 3 year olds crave school time (I know mine does). Also tell both of them that they are good at some things and that people have different strengths and weaknesses - include yourself and your husband in this conversation.

 

 

[EmilyGF]

Can 3-year-old watch a movie during that time? (We're really not movie people in general.) Maybe one in a foreign language... 

[Gratia271]

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[KSinNS]

I agree with separate for skill subjects, take turns, and boost the older. And (from bitter experience) talk lots about being supportive and kind words.

 

We've got this situation with math between our 6 and 8 year old. I got them on different curriculum last year, and it's still a problem. 3 weeks ago, we were in the van and the 6 year old decided to work out how many feet were in 5 miles. The 8 year old didn't even understand what he was doing (any of it, not feet, miles, or multiplication), and when I explained she asked me "why can't I figure that out?" He (impulsive and a bit of a smart-mouth) blurted out "that's because I'm smarter than you!" An hour later we got the tears stopped. Anyway, we've talked about being kind, and not saying the dark thoughts in the backs of other people's minds, etc. But it's a tough road to walk for the older child. And the younger child needs to work at their own pace, anyway, and not get held back. 

[prairiewindmomma]

We gave our younger child audiobooks on mp3 with headphones and a quiet fine motor activity to do during lesson time for older child, and vice versa.

 

Our children have talents in different areas; we focus on being kind and accepting no matter what. Part of being kind is not interrupting others during the other child's school time. ;)