Do you let your children correct you in your non-native language?

[Friederike in Persia]

From what I've picked up so far most of you were not raised bilingually yourselves, but have moved to another country or are married to a spouse who speaks another language.

Do you let your children correct you in your non-native language?

 

First off, I do not consider myself infallable :D, do often say that I don't know how to spell something and sometimes tell my kids, that we would ask Daddy in the evening (that would be for maths most of the time, but might sometimes be a language issue).

My English is pretty good and there is no way my little ones would know better than me. But my oldest is getting to a place where this might occur sometimes. The whole thought of her correcting my Englishis a bit scary, like having my authority as a teacher undermined, if she starts thinking she should check me out all the time.

Having said that, she does correct my Tajik in private, since her pronounciation and grammar are better than mine, and that works well.

 

I was just wondering how you all deal with this one.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Well I was raised in a bilingual family myself. Of a sort.

French is the only language actually spoken at home, even though everyone speaks English. French is everyone's first language. We're all have English as our second language. So they never really hear me speak English, unless I read aloud from a book.So the issue never really comes up for us.

[Friederike in Persia]

Well I was raised in a bilingual family myself. Of a sort.

French is the only language actually spoken at home, even though everyone speaks English. French is everyone's first language. We're all have English as our second language. So they never really hear me speak English, unless I read aloud from a book.So the issue never really comes up for us.

 

I thought you were doing some subjects in English, don't you speak English then?

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I thought you were doing some subjects in English, don't you speak English then?

Nope, we never speak English at home! Kinda funny, when you think of it.

The books are in English, I expect the kids to do their handwritten work in English. But our discussions are always in French. The kids have plenty of opportunity outside the home to speak either language and they do. I see no reason to force ourselves un-naturally into speaking our second language.

[Laura Corin]

Calvin sometimes corrects my Chinese. I have no problem with that.

 

Laura

[Renai]

If she's being a brat, and trying to dodge the point I'm trying to make, I let her know "I don't care," if she corrects me.

 

Otherwise, she might whisper as I'm speaking, and I'll answer, "yeah, that too." She gets a good laugh off that.

 

Other times, I just correct myself (or repeat her word), and continue my monologue without making a big deal out of it.

 

I have noticed however, that she's not always right and doesn't know everything, and let her know what I've said is also correct (I have adult vocabulary, and for the most part she has a child's, nuff said).

[Kate in Arabia]

Sometimes my oldest will correct me if I have a slip of the tongue in Arabic, and sometimes I won't know the answer to a question he asks and tell him I have to look it up. I don't have a problem with either scenario, as long as both of us are treating each other in a respectful manner -- I mean, I don't want to come across as some kind of "master linguist" nor do I want him to be a bratty upstart either, lol.

 

I think it's good for him to see I have limitations and make mistakes, and hope to model well how to act when we're wrong or don't know, kwim?

[Renai]

Sometimes my oldest will correct me if I have a slip of the tongue in Arabic, and sometimes I won't know the answer to a question he asks and tell him I have to look it up. I don't have a problem with either scenario, as long as both of us are treating each other in a respectful manner -- I mean, I don't want to come across as some kind of "master linguist" nor do I want him to be a bratty upstart either, lol.

 

I think it's good for him to see I have limitations and make mistakes, and hope to model well how to act when we're wrong or don't know, kwim?

 

:iagree: Yep, it's all in the attitude.

[stripe]

I am not generally in the business of talking to my kids in their other language because I am not fluent.... That being said, they've been known to "correct" me in my native language, incorrectly! I also think the manners of correction are a worthy topic for study. I don't think it's a big deal in small kids who don't know better, but it starts to be an irritating behavior as kids get older. If they are right, and they do it courteously, then they are helping you.

[Renai]

I am not generally in the business of talking to my kids in their other language because I am not fluent.... That being said, they've been known to "correct" me in my native language, incorrectly! I also think the manners of correction are a worthy topic for study. I don't think it's a big deal in small kids who don't know better, but it starts to be an irritating behavior as kids get older. If they are right, and they do it courteously, then they are helping you.

 

Manners are the main reason I tell adults learning a second language NOT to practice a lot with children. I don't know where the myth comes from that says they're more understanding and won't laugh at you, but I've found that it's a...well, a myth. If not fluent in a language, and you want to be, best to practice with another adult. 1) most really do "get" you (many may be trying to learn your language) and 2) they are adults, with adult vocabulary.

 

So, yeah, manners are big. And it will determine my response to a correction.

[stripe]

Ha. When I was in college, a classmate went to live in Spain for a semester with a family. The 8 year old son of the house had NO patience for mistakes and corrected her ruthlessly -- I think she admitted she learned a lot from him, though!

 

What about when the other parent's cultural methods of correction are different from yours? My in-laws tend to be somewhat ruthless in their "correction" of kids speaking their language OR imitate mistakes (so if a child calls spaghetti "pasketi," everyone else refers to "pasketi" when talking to that child), to the point that we specifically ask that they neither correct nor reinforce mistakes, but just model correct language use. But it's annoying if my kids tell a story, and no one even listens to it, they are stuck at the first sentence when someone said something unusual. I find it interesting. There is also so much standardization that my kids come across as a bit wacky because they don't know the scripted conversations.

[Friederike in Persia]

My dad does this, too. He copies the dc's incorrect German grammar, cause he finds it so cute. :glare: Got a good relationship with him though and make it clear that it's not on to copy their mistakes. ;) And they are meant to learn from him!

Much more difficult with my father in law, who will through in (made up!) German words into his English conversation, from his time at school 55 years ago. He doesn't take kindly to request of stopping :001_huh:. I have to say though, that it hasn't "damaged the kids", as I originally feared. Still drives me up the wall though.

 

We get a fair share of visitors and new people, who try and learn Tajik and whereas our children can help if asked, they are NOT allowed to laugh or correct when not asked. This is also true for their English teachers in Tajik school, they know not to embarass them, ever.

I guess my question came more from the angle of English being our main home school language, but not my native one. But reading all of your replies I think that even in that case it still holds true, I'm not infallable and the important issue is their attitude whilst correcting.

[jld]

My children regularly correct my French (I'm American; dh is French). It doesn't bother me, although it certainly is humbling.

 

I have a lot of respect for their fluency. I feel kind of sad that I'll never have their ability in their father's language.

[Marylou]

I agree with others who say that the attitude during correction is important. Make sure your dc know NEVER, EVER to do it in front of others. That is bad manners.

 

It is better to have good manners and bad grammar than the other way around!