Would you drive an hour to be a part of a hs network/co-op or a church?

[gandpsmommy]

We have had no luck in finding any kind of social networking opportunities since we moved 1.5 years ago, and it is getting really depressing. The town where we used to live had a great hsing community, and it is just an hour away. In the past we have tried to find something closer because we wanted the kids to be able to develop friendships with kids close enough to get together with on a regular basis for playdates, parties, etc. But it just hasn't happened. And we have to drive 30 minutes to get everywhere anyway, since we live way out in the country.

 

We also haven't found a church since we moved, although we have visited *so* many. We loved our church before we moved and we drove back there for quite awhile. I'm thinking about doing that again. But then I think about all the time we would waste driving, and the gas prices, and I don't know if it is such a good idea. Any thoughts?

[KristineIN]

I wouldn't, but that's just us, gas is getting way to expensive. We have a family from our church that lived about 40 minutes away and they were running so much that what they spent on gas, they decided they could rent a house closer. So about three weeks ago they moved about two miles from all of their activities.

 

Anyway, I'm sure that there are people that do it, we just couldn't afford to financially.

 

Kristine

[Ria]

I wouldn't do it, because all the friends the kids meet will live at least an hour away. Not good. If you've lived there for a year and a half and are finding that this is not working out (church, friends), I'd seriously consider selling the house and moving back to your former town.

 

Ria

[Soph the vet]

I "commuted" to church and other social activities an hour and a half for a year but then I ended up moving back to the urban center. I put 500 miles per week on my car, but gas was much cheaper then.

[PariSarah]

You have to have a life where you live. It's hard when you have such happy memories of where you used to live, and when where you used to live is so seductively "close".

 

But an hour away is not close.

 

I highly recommend putting a moratorium on visits to your old town, church, friends until you've invested whole-heartedly in your new community.

 

And try to analyze why "it hasn't happened." Why are there no acceptable churches near you? What are the problems you're running into? Is it the case that there are really good, solid churches near you that aren't perfect? Are you being too picky? What about churches outside your denomination?

 

And what about the hsing community? Are there no homeschoolers in your area? Or are they just not organized? Is organizing a community one of your skills?

[8filltheheart]

I agree with Parisarah except for the part about churches. Since we are Catholic, attending a different denomination is not an option. We recently moved to an area where I have been horrified by the Catholic churches.....no crucifixes, no kneeling (even though the church has kneelers), no tabernacles, Eucharistic ministers self-communicating and cleaning the altar. Those are huge issues for us. We are going to keep spreading out farther and farther until we find a church that is actually faithful to the G.I.R.M.

[gandpsmommy]

I would love nothing more right now than being able to move back. Unfortunately it's just not possible. We moved here to be closer to dh's new job. It is a 1.5 to 2.5 hour commute from our old hometown, depending on traffic. It is a 45 to 60 minute commute from here.

 

Our old hometown is a small college town nestled in a very rural area with few good jobs. Even if dh could find a job that paid well enough there (He has been looking, btw.), we now live in an area where the houses are very difficult to sell. Since our old house was in a college town, houses sold fairly quickly as new professors and graduate students moved in each year. Here it is almost impossible to move a house quickly.

 

Four of our neighbors have tried to sell their houses in the past few years in order to move closer to the city, as gas prices have increased. Two of them took their houses off the market after their realtor informed them it would take over a year to have any chance of selling. One down the street has been on the market for a couple of years, and the one across the street has been on the market for months with hardly any showings. Three of these houses are much bigger and newer than ours. Our house was on the market for over a year when we bought it. We were planning on being here long term. We didn't know it would be so difficult to find a church and hs community.

[Ellie]

not for a co-op. Probably not for church, either, although I have known people who did that.

 

Is there no 4-H where you live? or scouts of some kind? Is there not a single church that while not perfect would be *somewhere* that you could attend?

[gandpsmommy]

Both of the dc take gymnastics classes and have met some kids they like there. But we threw a Valentine's Day party to try to get them together with some friends they wanted to get to know better. We rented out the local gymnastics center (very popular for parties, here) because our little house was too small. We ordered pizzas and made cupcakes, and the dc decorated Valentine's boxes and filled out Valentine cards. And only two children showed up of the 13 we invited. Dd had fun with the two girls that showed up, but said sadly that it wasn't worth it to work so hard making a Valentine's box for only 3 Valentines. I reminded her that it was a lot of fun to make it, and that it was better than no Valentines, but it was still sad.

 

Dd is in a Brownie troop. She had great fun selling Girl Scout cookies, and she enjoys the meetings, but it is difficult to get to know the girls very well only seeing them once a month. And it doesn't help that they all attend the same private Christian school and already know each other (which we didn't find out until the first meeting). There is one little girl that she really likes from Girl Scouts, but she is just starting to get to know her, and I don't have any contact information for her parents.

 

We have started getting more e-mails about hs activities here. We try to attend every one that we can. Dd did meet a little girl at one recently, and I followed up with her mom on e-mail trying to get them together. It hasn't worked out so far, but hopefully soon they can play together again.

 

I guess I just thought we would be a lot more established by this time. I am putting ds in preschool next year, just so that he can be around other kids. He already knows two of the little boys who will be in his class from gymnastics, and this will give him a chance to play with them on a regular basis.

 

I guess a big part of the problem, now that I evaluate it, is that we don't really have a sense of community. We live way out in the country, so we have to drive 30 minutes to get anywhere. And it seems that the people we meet are from so many different directions. So, they might not live anywhere close to us. Where we lived before, if we met someone at the library or church, we could invite them over, knowing that no one lived more than a few minutes away. We only had to drive 10 minutes to get anywhere in town, and we saw familiar people everywhere: at the park, the community center, the grocery store, the library, etc. I miss that sense of community and belonging.