Another WWYD question re: hs vs. ps

[Lisa in SC]

I've mentioned before that my 3 school age children are in ps for the first time this year. My youngest will be returning home next year at his own request and also because we feel this is the best choice for him.

 

My middle dd is currently in 6th grade in middle school. She is my most introverted child, but she has made friends and even ran for class president. She is definitely enjoying the social aspects of ps.

 

Academics are a different issue. She is in the GT program, and has yet to make any grade below a 98%. Basically, the only effort she gives academically is to complete assignments and take tests. She only needs to read through her notes once (and this is rare--usually she doesn't study at all), and she's good to go. She is definitely not being challenged even in the GT program.

 

The administration and her teachers feel that the only option they have for her would be to skip a grade (possibly more than once). I'm not really interested in this because I believe that there are social aspects associated with grade-skipping, and I don't believe dd is equipped to handle these things at her age. Aside from mathematics (and sciences based on advanced math), she could easily perform at an upper high school level. I make mathematics the exception simply because she hasn't yet had the "pre-reqs" for some of the upper high school level math classes.

 

So, our choices are: 1) She continues to attend ps at her grade level, but she stagnates academically. Obviously all after-schooling we do only serves to advance her further. 2) We bring her home again to challenge her academically, and I work hard to provide social activities. Her opinion is that she prefers ps socially but hs academically. She is fine with either as long as she would have social opportunities if hs'd.

 

This may seem like a no-brainer, but I'm torn. On the one hand, I don't want to see her waste her grey matter for six more years at ps simply because she enjoys socializing. On the other hand, I need to be sure that I can provide challenging, stimulating academics until she reaches college-age. I'm not saying college enrollment at a younger-than-average age is a bad thing in general, but I am saying that this is not something we would choose to do.

She would likely finish "high school" at home in the next 2-3 years, if not sooner. Then, I will need to keep her engaged, thinking and learning for 3-4additional years before we would feel comfortable sending her to university.

 

So that I can have some additional food for thought...wwyd?

 

Lisa

[Call Me Cordelia]

I'd pull my dc out in a minute; there is much online to challenge acadmically and we live in the middle of suburbia with readily accessible social outlets.

[Quiver0f10]

I would choose option # 2. Can you join a co-op? Can she take a class or two at the PS so she can still see her friends? Any other outsdie things like theater or something along that idea?

[Remudamom]

Yes, why not bring her home and then still take theatre or band or even PE at the PS?

[Beth in Central TX]

Yes, I would go with option #2 also. I think it will be a bigger benefit to your daughter in the long run.

 

If you are part of a church, then she can participate in Wednesday night activities: Choir, AWANA, etc. In addition, most churches have a youth program which starts in the 7th grade.

 

If you're not part of a church, then I would look into co-op classes, community theatre, etc. Our local library has a teen helper for the pre-school storytime, and our local zoo has many opportunities for volunteers. I'm sure many opportunities in your area will pop up when you start looking.

 

Good luck! These decisions look so black and white on a forum like this, but in real life, they can be very difficult to make.

[saw]

sending work with her, or having the school do subject-matter acceleration? My dds are 9, accelerated by one year, and in a Montessori school. For reasons I won't go into, we can't homeschool, but the school is willing to let me send work with the girls and will probably allow them to do a sort of distance learning next year, so they would be doing work at their own academic level while being in their own classroom. It is not ideal, but it's working for all of us on several different levels.

[Lisa in SC]

You all gave great suggestions. Unfortunately, she won't be allowed to participate in select classes at ps, but that can be remedied with some of the other suggestions given. I will look into all of the activities listed, and at some point, I'm sure I'll be back to ask about the online academic challenges that were mentioned. :)

 

Beth, I wanted to thank you for acknowledging how difficult these decisions can be. I know that it would be easy for me to pick option 2 if I was in the position of advising another poster, but in real life, it's far more messy. I just wanted to let you know that it means so much that you mentioned that.

 

Thank you all.

 

Lisa

[Melinda in VT]

Mind you, I don't know what I would do if it were my decision to make, but since no one is speaking up for option #1, I'll take its side. ;)

 

Does your daughter enjoy school? Or is she bored out of her mind? Is she still intellectually curious? Or is school dulling her intellect?

 

If she enjoys school, still likes to learn, and if you don't want to accelerate her to college early, what is the harm in keeping her in school and letting her enjoy all of the other activities in school without the stress of needing to spend lots of time to keep her grades up? Just as we say it's ok for toddlers to plateau verbally, for example, when they are acquiring physical skills, couldn't it be ok for a young teen to plateau intellectually while working on social skills and talents (music, drama, sports)?

 

There is a decent chance that she will find high school honors or AP classes more on her intellectual level and will find the discussion and writing components invigorating, so you might only be looking at this situation for a year or two.

 

Again, if she is unhappy or frustrated or it is eroding her love of learning, I would definitely bring her home. If she is so intellectually advanced that even high school honors classes will not hold her interest or challenge her, then bringing her home might be best.

 

But if it is just a case of a child exploring other interests and taking a somewhat slower path academically than she could . . . I can see choosing option 1.

[Susan in IL]

What about pulling her out now and then putting her back in 9th. The high school should offer more opportunities for advancing. At my ds's school, they have a few GT freshmen taking honor Alg. 2 (normally only 10, 11, 12).

 

Just a different thought to throw out.

[Melmc]

I think you're smart not to want to do what the school wants and put your daughter ahead to another grade level. Two of my best friends in college skipped grades in elementary school. Both are brilliant women (once aced the SAT math section) who went on to get graduate degrees. Both say skipping ahead to a higher grade (or two in one case) was the worst thing ever for them. Both wish their parents hadn't done that to them. The academics were fine, but socially it was a nightmare and had significant impact on one's self-confidence.

[Whisperlily]

I was a child whose parents decided not to have me move ahead a grade for social reasons. I switched from a private Christian school in 7th grade to PS. I was very bored through school, and because the work was so "easy," I stopped trying. I still sailed through honors programs in high school, but I didn't put any effort into them, because none was required. I developed some poor study habits as a result, that didn't serve me well in college. (I still did well in college, but I didn't apply myself the way I *could have* )

 

Socially I did fine, but those first years I did get into a bit more trouble because I was looking for something to keep me occupied at school. By no means was I a troublemaker. I was probably one of the most innocent girls in PS, but by my own standards I got into a bit more trouble.

[katilac]

Like Susan in IL, I'd consider taking her out and reconsidering when she is high school age (assuming you have a high school available with many honors and advanced classes).

 

Three years is a very long time to sail by in academics.

[Lisa in SC]

There is a decent chance that she will find high school honors or AP classes more on her intellectual level and will find the discussion and writing components invigorating, so you might only be looking at this situation for a year or two.

 

 

I actually appreciate your taking the devil's advocate stance. It's generally my personality to do so as well. To answer your questions...

 

No, if we stay in this school district, she won't be challenged in high school when she gets there. My oldest is in honors classes at the high school, and it's still fairly smooth sailing for her. We're doing the ps thing with the oldest because it's simply the best decision for her. However, judging by her classes, the dd in question won't be challenged during any part of her middle school/high school career.

 

Sure, she enjoys school. However, I'm definitely seeing a "dumbing down" trend. It's not so much that she has lost knowledge; it's more that she is becoming so used to being 'spoon fed' information that she's losing the ability to take a and b, put them together and come up with c -- a completely independent thought, kwim?

 

Anyway, I liked your toddler analogy, and I can see where it *could* be beneficial to allow a child to academically plateau for a finite period of time in order to develop other interests/skills. I'm just concerned that in this situation, the plateau might be too prolonged and lead to other issues.

 

Thanks again for making a case for choice #1. I needed outside opinions for all of it. :)

 

Lisa

[Lisa in SC]

What about pulling her out now and then putting her back in 9th. The high school should offer more opportunities for advancing. At my ds's school, they have a few GT freshmen taking honor Alg. 2 (normally only 10, 11, 12).

 

Just a different thought to throw out.

 

 

Point taken. We generally don't close any doors educationally-speaking, so option 3 would always be a possibility. If we stay in this area, however, I'm afraid that the Honors classes still wouldn't be challenging.

 

You can take a look at my response above for a more detailed explanation. This site is taking so long to load tonight that I'm afraid I'll end up losing my whole response if I re-type it here.

 

I do appreciate you presenting a third option, and even if she comes home now, we are always re-evaluating. Our goal is to provide the best environment possible for each individual child, and "the best" can, and does, change over time.

 

Lisa

[Lisa in SC]

I was very bored through school, and because the work was so "easy," I stopped trying. I still sailed through honors programs in high school, but I didn't put any effort into them, because none was required. I developed some poor study habits as a result, that didn't serve me well in college. (I still did well in college, but I didn't apply myself the way I *could have* )

 

 

You stated this more clearly than could I. This is one of our biggest concerns about this dd. We don't want her to develop a poor work ethic or substandard study skills simply because she does well effortlessly.

 

Thanks for relating your experiences. Sometimes I wonder if my concerns are valid in the 'real world.' It was good to read that someone went through exactly what I fear for dd. Oh, um, I didn't mean that it was good that you went through that; only that it was good that you shared it. Hope you know what I mean! :D

 

Lisa