Those worrying about your 7th & 8th grade boys with no motivation...take heart...

[Ms. Riding Hood]

This seems to be a topic that comes up regularly: what do I do with my child that has no motivation? I have asked this same question several times in the last couple of years, clinging to Nan's words that things do get better. My older ds is very self-disciplined, academic, etc. No worries with him. But my younger ds just didn't care! I've really felt at my wits' end with him more times than I can count, and wondered if he didn't need to be in public school, with more accountability, structure, discipline, whatever. Somewhere out of my hair!

 

But LO! A miracle has occured! Tonight we were sitting around shooting the breeze--a nice late-evening chat with all the little ones in bed, and we got on the subject of school. There is a teacher in the local ps who is known around our small town as being a bad teacher, and many of our kids' friends talk about how little they learn in his classes. So my ds gives ME a long lecture about how the kids and parents have it all wrong--it isn't the teacher's responsibility to teach. It is the kids' responsibility to learn. And how he himself has embraced this idea of "self-education" as the only path to learning, and also as the way to achieve any goal. He even went so far as to say that I had really done a good job with homeschooling, to teach him this lesson. [N.B.--I don't "teach" in our homeschool, and would generally be considered lax or hands-off in my approach. We don't operate in an unschooler way at all, but I do expect them to work on their own in most instances.]

 

Needless to say, my mouth was hanging open as I listened to this strong-willed--nay, defiant--unmotivated, unacademic child telling me that I'm a good parent for forcing him to learn on his own. I think that something has just clicked with him this year, as a 9th grader. Part of it is fear of being behind or being stupid. I think he realized that no one was going to force-feed him, and if he didn't start learning stuff on his own it just wasn't going to happen.

 

Wow. You could knock me over with a feather. This is a moment I never really expected to see, ever. Maybe the rest of high school with this ds won't be so teeth-pullingly difficult as I had anticipated. I'm already thinking, "Two kids down, four to go!", as though all my homeschool difficulties with him have been conquered.:tongue_smilie:But if this ds can learn this concept of self-education, I'm ready to believe that all my other kids can, too.

 

Maybe there is something to this homeschooling stuff, after all. :001_smile: And a few prayers probably didn't hurt, either. So keep your chin up and hang in there! You never know what surprises lurk around the corner!

Edited January 26, 2009 by Ms. Riding Hood

[SonshineLearner]

WOW! There might be hope! Congrats!

Carrie:-)

[DawnUK]

Thanks. That's so good to hear.

 

--Dawn

[FloridaLisa]

:svengo:

 

Wonderful! Woo-hoo! Moments like these with my dc are so helpful to fill my cup for those *other* days.

 

Blessings,

Lisa

[Rhondabee]

Thanks, Lynne! That is very encouraging!

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[GraceinMD]

THANK YOU for the encouragement! Much needed on this winter day.

 

And ... good job, for whatever you did!

[Beth in SW WA]

Great news! Thanks for sharing!

[Nan in Mass]

Wow! That's great!

[MBH]

Lynne,

 

You sound like a wonderful mom. Thank you for taking the time to encourage the rest of us. I am learning so much here on these threads. There is hope after all.