BMW Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Okay, I know if I discuss too much I will feel roasted and toasted here... and probably deservedly... So, here's the deal... I tend to trust my children too much. My ex-dh was overly strict, with ridiculous rules and as I've parented since the divorce, I am learning to get myself into more balance (I tend to be permissive, teaching values and morality and hoping that they choose to follow my lead). I need to tighten up here, but want to discuss a recent event and get some "what would you do" feedback. This is very valuable to me, since I didn't have a voice with my children previously and I am trying to find out what to do now that I am parenting them. Can some of you PM me? I am looking to parent from the foundation of Christianity, teaching purity and am interested in likemindedness. Thank you, Bee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisN in NY Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 I'm pming you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Okay, I know if I discuss too much I will feel roasted and toasted here...and probably deservedly... So, here's the deal... I tend to trust my children too much. My ex-dh was overly strict, with ridiculous rules and as I've parented since the divorce, I am learning to get myself into more balance (I tend to be permissive, teaching values and morality and hoping that they choose to follow my lead). I need to tighten up here, but want to discuss a recent event and get some "what would you do" feedback. This is very valuable to me, since I didn't have a voice with my children previously and I am trying to find out what to do now that I am parenting them. Can some of you PM me? I am looking to parent from the foundation of Christianity, teaching purity and am interested in likemindedness. Thank you, Bee You have mail. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn&charles Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 PM'd ya! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Bee, if you'd like, I'd chat with you in PM. However, I wonder what you think you're being too permissive about and what is going on that you think it's a problem. The reason I say is because I believe that many people are WAY too loose with their littles, but that we want our teens to be able to have a great deal of freedom. They are just a couple years away from "running their own show" so need to be able to do so to a great degree. Of course, they still have us for guidance, encouragement, correction, etc, but.... Anyway, hopefully you find the right answers for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted January 19, 2009 Author Share Posted January 19, 2009 Pamela, I am a great parent for children!! I get them behaving and do a good job of keeping them behaving. My challenge is that I believe that they should make a lot of their choices while living at home, practicing for growing up... so long as they obey some basic rules and keep things "open and honest". There's been some sneaking around and a basic adoption of the "don't ask and don't tell" policy. I don't keep them on a short leash when they are about 14-ish and I don't always check up on everything they say, so long as they've been honest and trustworthy up to that point. Now, I am re-thinking this a bit, faced with some rules being broken and needing to give some consequences... It's an "Okay, so they are not being honest and trustworthy... now what?" time for me. Bee Who hopes she isn't too naive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaof2andtwins Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Bee, I think discernment might be what you are looking for with your kiddos. I don't have a ton of experience with teens. My oldest is almost 15 and the next will be 13 in May. It think a lot of parenting teens is knowing when to be strict, when to let them make a mistake, when to be humble, etc. It can be tricky at times. Best wishes, Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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