4- / 5- / 6-year Plan?

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

At what point do you hope to have your child(ren) actively involved in planning more than just the upcoming school year? 

In my state, college-bound students in B&M schools select a “focus area” at the end of 8th grade / beginning of 9th grade that helps focus their elective courses throughout high school. The categories are pretty broad so there’s still room for exploring lots of options & they aren’t “locked in” - if they hate it, they can switch… but it’s intended to help them dig deeper into potential career paths. 

Even before then, in 5th grade students are “tracked” for math, with stronger students auto-enrolled in more challenging coursework. The same happens for other core subjects in 7th, so middle schoolers are definitely aware that their performance impacts their future options. 

As homeschoolers we aren’t obligated to follow these paths, but it has gotten me thinking about how I want to work on transitioning ownership of course choices to DS during the later years of his schooling. He rather emphatically shows zero interest in other methods of schooling, so it appears we are in this for the long haul. 

[Lori D.]

Amount of active involvement in planning one's own course of study in homeschooling would vary greatly on the child, IMO.

Just my experience: unlike many of the children of others on these boards, our DSs were not that "into" academics, and were fine with a more "get 'er done" approach.

We have 2 DSs and both had almost NO interest in providing feedback on what they would like to study -- pretty much all the way through even into high school. Every year I would lay out a huge list of options, ideas of specific topics, ways of studying... and always got "meh, whatever you set up, mom" as the answer. sigh. And I would like to stress that I was NOT using formal textbooks, workbooks, tests, or other traditional types of brick & mortar materials in our homeschooling -- I spent a lot of time every year pulling together lots of hands-on, field trips, educational videos, read-alouds and "living books", etc. And I always tried to make time for any "bunny trails" of interest in side topics that might pop up along the way.

When we needed to complete a Fine Arts credit in high school, I came up with a list of FIFTY (not an exaggeration!!) ideas of possible areas/ways of accomplishing that credit -- and finally had to threaten "if you don't choose SOMETHING you'd like to do, then *I* will..." to get that teen's involvement in his own education choice in a small way... 😫🙄

Hoping that is not the case for you with your DS!

BUT... I share that in case there are others reading along who have children who just aren't "into" homeschool (or the planning of homeschool) -- even if done creatively and by including the children's interests. You are not alone. And it's mostly likely not you or the way you're "doing" homeschooling.

Like Andrew Pudewa says in one of his talks on boys and writing... some kids would just rather be outside building forts than doing anything remotely academic or "educational." Homeschooling doesn't mean it will turn academically-uninterested children into "Pinterest-perfect" rapt students begging to do more school, or plan out the next year's schoolwork. 😉 

Wishing you and your DS all the BEST in planning and doing your 2024-25 school year, @Shoes+Ships+SealingWax! Warmest regards, Lori D.

ETA -- and hoping others with experience of children getting involved in the planning WILL post here for you! 😄 

Edited June 13 by Lori D.

[caffeineandbooks]

@Shoes+Ships+SealingWax, thank you for this thread!  I have similar questions.  And @Lori D., thank you for sharing about your sons!  I try actively to solicit feedback from my kids about topics they're interested in, ways they'd like to learn material, what their favorite and least favorite parts were of a given course, but like you, I get mostly radio silence.  I am ready to give them more input and control over what we learn the moment they want it, but it's like pulling teeth so far.  I think it's partly that middle schoolers just don't always have that much insight into themselves and what makes them tick.  Would love to hear stories from others about how their kids began to realize what they liked and became ready to specialize.

[Lori D.]

1 hour ago, caffeineandbooks said:

...Would love to hear stories from others about how their kids began to realize what they liked and became ready to specialize.

Neither DS started to figure out what they liked and were ready to specialize until in their 20s -- DS#2 was 23yo and DS#1 was 25yo. (see my signature below for overview of their paths)

All during middle and high school, we explored a wide variety of subjects and bunny trails in our homeschooling; did a range of activities and extracurriculars; dabbled with various hobbies and interests, and tried out things alongside friends who had passions and interests. Plus we did a steady amount of career exploration throughout high school.

I really think that is all you CAN do if a child does not have a strong "bent" or passion early on, or does not develop one during the homeschooling years -- provide an abundant potpourri of opportunities to explore, and patiently encourage while waiting for each child to bloom in their own unique timetable. 

Edited June 13 by Lori D.

[8filltheheart]

For my kids that dont know what they want, suggestions are made in terms of which would prefer.  Once they decide on a specific subject, I offer my preselected options for the course and then they can choose which they prefer.

[PeterPan]

On 6/12/2024 at 10:51 PM, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

college-bound students in B&M schools select a “focus area”

You might flip this and ask whether the outcome is GOOD doing this or what the motivation is by the state for encouraging this. I'd be a bit more cynical. I meet people whose kids are higher performers in the ps and their kids get burnt out, doing things early/aggressively and then HATING those subjects. 

On 6/12/2024 at 10:51 PM, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

it’s intended to help them dig deeper into potential career paths. 

Or is it intended to save the state money?? I'm trying to figure out if this is for the KID'S good or the STATE'S good. 

Your dc is a pretty high performer, high IQ kind of soul, right? So it's very possible he could do ANYTHING and will be interested or even EXCEL at lots of things. If he went to a school for the gifted, would they pigeon hole him like this and tell him to hurry up and figure out what direction his life should go?

Interesting, very intelligent people often excel at MANY things. They also recreate themselves and morph themselves.

What you should be asking is what causes a person to be more employable or less employable, and it's not about their academics or how early they started xyz track or whatever. Social skills and emotional regulation are THE major determiners of employability. If you have those, you can morph with time and opportunities and changing interests. 

On 6/12/2024 at 10:51 PM, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

how I want to work on transitioning ownership of course choices

So the state is doing this to help them become better workers but you're doing it to elicit some kind of ownership? Those are two different things. If what you're doing is WORKING, then maybe this ownership thing is more emotional for you. About as much "ownership" as my teen ds takes of his homeschooling is to ask if SOMETHING HE'S ALREADY DOING can count as school. 🤣 I try to say yes or say what he would need to do additionally to make it a yes, and that's that. But for the rest, who cares? My ds has work experience and has the foundational skills to be employable. 

If what you care about is employability, maybe focus on how you nurture that. Fwiw, that's what I'd be caring about way more than how much choice he expresses about his high school classes. There are whole checklists for employability life skills and you can think about how to use your efforts with him to build those skills. 

[Lori D.]

^^ Yes, DSs definitely took ownership over things they were interested in, and in their extracurricular activities. So the skills of responsibility, leadership, networking, research, etc. were all developed -- just not specifically about determining their course of study (because that was not of high interest to them).

Edited June 14 by Lori D.

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

41 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Your dc is a pretty high performer, high IQ kind of soul, right? So it's very possible he could do ANYTHING and will be interested or even EXCEL at lots of things.

He’s is. He also has ADHD. He struggles to rank / prioritize activities, to visualize or plan for the future, & to follow through. (Things we are addressing via Scouting & other activities.)

He certainly has many paths open to him, but because he is slower at processing, so I want to ensure those doors don’t close before he selects a path to meander down. 

55 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

You might flip this and ask whether the outcome is GOOD doing this

This is a fair point & something I’ll look into more. I do know it can be overwhelming for some students, but most I know ultimately excelled after “going through the fire & coming out the other side”. 

I do know that the students I went to school who just bobbed along without any direction did not have good outcomes. They became the college drop-outs, the boomerang kids, the adults stuck for decades in dead-end jobs.
Which leads me to… 

58 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

maybe this ownership thing is more emotional for you.

Absolutely, it is. He has solid potential, but will likely need extra support. I feel a huge responsibility as parent & educator to prevent him from falling into the aforementioned scenarios simply because he never “woke up” & paid attention. 

[PeterPan]

2 hours ago, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

He certainly has many paths open to him, but because he is slower at processing, so I want to ensure those doors don’t close before he selects a path to meander down. 

Your psych has probably told you this, but he's very likely to need extra time to do things or even some extra bloom time. My dd was this way, and I BEGGED her to do an extra year of high school. After a year of college she realized what I had meant. 😉

So I'd suggest the opposite, slowing the fast train down and letting him have time to do it at his pace. What opportunities do you feel are going to close to him? 

It IS appropriate to provide EF supports and it IS appropriate to compel him to work at something (that you pick) until his maturity and ability to organize allows him to do what he picks. 

2 hours ago, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

most I know ultimately excelled after “going through the fire & coming out the other side”. 

They aren't your kid. Kids like yours need more support, more time.

Remember, it is ok for you to make wise choices for your ds until he has the maturity to make choices for himself. It is ok for you to require him to work at SOMETHING even if he hasn't figured out what he wants. It is WISE for you to get him work experiences and life experiences that build the proficiencies (emotional, time management, social, etc.) to work. If he CAN work, then eventually it will all gel. 

People like him who are successful tend to be unusual people whose interests come together in unusual, unique ways. For instance, I know an interesting person who became an estate manager. 

[PeterPan]

2 hours ago, Lori D. said:

So the skills of responsibility, leadership, networking, research, etc. were all developed

And now you can look back and see that THOSE were the pivotal things. The exact math scores or what you covered were not going to be the biggest issues. Basics like EF, ability to time manage, ability to tell  yourself to do something you don't want to do, ability to self advocate for your needs in an environment, ability to follow through on tasks, ability to handle co-workers and challenges, etc., all these are what make the person able to get up in the morning and do their work.

2 hours ago, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

I want to ensure those doors don’t close

Get off the crazy train.  Your ds may not WANT the lifestyle that goes with that crazy train or he may not feel well living that way. One can have high potential and live a totally different way. Your goal is to show him how to LIVE. Put him on the train that's taking him to where *he* needs to be, with the lifestyle that fits him. If you push push to make doors open, doors he does not open for himself, you will find that on the other side he doesn't necessarily fit in well there. It's ok to slow down and say the doors he opens are ok. It's ok for him to do work that doesn't match his "IQ" if doing that work puts him at the speed of life he needs to be on. 

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

55 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

One can have high potential and live a totally different way. Your goal is to show him how to LIVE… It's ok for him to do work that doesn't match his "IQ"

I don’t care about this at all. 

Edit: With the exception of him being able to earn an independent living from whatever he chooses, THAT I do care about. His ADHD is mild & well-controlled, so he is absolutely capable

The inclinations he has shown (robotics, computer science, engineering, physics) are academically competitive fields, but it’s on him to decide whether or not those fields are “worth” the effort required to get there. 

1 hour ago, PeterPan said:

Remember, it is ok for you to make wise choices for your ds until he has the maturity to make choices for himself. It is ok for you to require him to work at SOMETHING even if he hasn't figured out what he wants. It is WISE for you to get him work experiences and life experiences that build the proficiencies (emotional, time management, social, etc.) to work. If he CAN work, then eventually it will all gel.

This is more what I was wondering - whether it mattered if he went all the way through high school having never customized / specialized beyond choosing between electives because he just… didn’t see a reason to. 

As a homeschooler he has the opportunity to build a completely unique course load, but it doesn’t sound like he needs to.  I suppose even at the university level, once a major is declared there’s kind of a “set path” to follow so he really could just keep doing the next thing… 

Edited June 14 by Shoes+Ships+SealingWax

[8filltheheart]

4 hours ago, PeterPan said:

You might flip this and ask whether the outcome is GOOD doing this or what the motivation is by the state for encouraging this. I'd be a bit more cynical. I meet people whose kids are higher performers in the ps and their kids get burnt out, doing things early/aggressively and then HATING those subjects. 

Or is it intended to save the state money?? I'm trying to figure out if this is for the KID'S good or the STATE'S good. 

Your dc is a pretty high performer, high IQ kind of soul, right? So it's very possible he could do ANYTHING and will be interested or even EXCEL at lots of things. If he went to a school for the gifted, would they pigeon hole him like this and tell him to hurry up and figure out what direction his life should go?

Interesting, very intelligent people often excel at MANY things. They also recreate themselves and morph themselves.

What you should be asking is what causes a person to be more employable or less employable, and it's not about their academics or how early they started xyz track or whatever. Social skills and emotional regulation are THE major determiners of employability. If you have those, you can morph with time and opportunities and changing interests. 

So the state is doing this to help them become better workers but you're doing it to elicit some kind of ownership? Those are two different things. If what you're doing is WORKING, then maybe this ownership thing is more emotional for you. About as much "ownership" as my teen ds takes of his homeschooling is to ask if SOMETHING HE'S ALREADY DOING can count as school. 🤣 I try to say yes or say what he would need to do additionally to make it a yes, and that's that. But for the rest, who cares? My ds has work experience and has the foundational skills to be employable. 

If what you care about is employability, maybe focus on how you nurture that. Fwiw, that's what I'd be caring about way more than how much choice he expresses about his high school classes. There are whole checklists for employability life skills and you can think about how to use your efforts with him to build those skills. 

I don't know anything about the OP's ds.  So maybe you have a more personal interaction and your post is based on knowledge of disabilities.  

But, if this post is meant to be in general for perfectly normal homeschooled teenagers, your post is very off mark for our family's experiences.  Not all kids struggle with social skills or emotional regulation.  They mature into independent young adults who know what they want and pursue that path.

As a homeschooler, I don't pay any attention to ps or what they are or are not doing.  I don't give a flip about the "state."  I do very much care about my kids and helping them find a path forward that meets their interests and their needs.  I have had kids who knew what they wanted to do from a very young age.  My dd who graduated from college this yr with her BS in atmospheric science and is now a grad researcher knew when she was 5 that she loved all things weather.  She has geeked out about weather events her entire life.   My current rising 9th grader is absolutely convinced she wants to major in violin performance.  If this is the path she really wants to take, no joke--she HAS to start pursuing it now.  There is no later in this field.  As it is, she is behind bc she doesn't have a tiger mom who had her playing violin at 3 and hrs long practicing.  She didn't start until 8 and didn't practice more than 10 mins per day until 7th grade when she started practicing around 30, maybe 45, mins 5 days a week.  It wasn't until 8th grade that she jumped on this band wagon and is now practicing 2 1/2 hrs per day.  She will need to up it to 3-4 hrs per day in the next yr or so if this is what she wants.

We can expose kids to all kinds of options.  We can make sure that they have a broad general education that keeps all paths open.  But, as they move into high school, yes, some kids know exactly what they want and make their own decisions about what they are willing to sacrifice to make it happen.  (My dd is still going to have to juggle a completely normal advanced student load....she is the most gifted of all of my kids.....but she will have to make sacrifices and most of them are going to be social and downtime sacrifices.)

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

8 minutes ago, 8filltheheart said:

I do very much care about my kids and helping them find a path forward that meets their interests and their needs… 

13 minutes ago, 8filltheheart said:

There is no later in this field.  As it is, she is behind bc she doesn't have a tiger mom. 

This is kind of what I’m feeling, I think. The directions he’s leaning in are competitive. He doesn’t  realize that yet, but as the adult I am aware & don’t want to do him a disservice. 

12 minutes ago, 8filltheheart said:

We can expose kids to all kinds of options.  We can make sure that they have a broad general education that keeps all paths open.  But, as they move into high school, yes, some kids know exactly what they want and make their own decisions about what they are willing to sacrifice to make it happen.

Did all of your kids eventually do this, or did some never take the reins in this way? Would you be concerned if they didn’t, or fine with them following whatever path you laid out, knowing that it would prepare them well for most options? 

[Clarita]

2 hours ago, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

The inclinations he has shown (robotics, computer science, engineering, physics) are academically competitive fields, but it’s on him to decide whether or not those fields are “worth” the effort required to get there. 

2 hours ago, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

This is kind of what I’m feeling, I think. The directions he’s leaning in are competitive. He doesn’t  realize that yet, but as the adult I am aware & don’t want to do him a disservice. 

These fields are competitive because smart hardworking kids have to compete with people who have a passion for the topics and view these as their hobbies as well as their jobs. So the whole shebang is WORK to people who just went into these things for the money/job. If your son likes these topics some of the things that is work would be things he'd do for fun.  (Not that all of it will be fun but some of the work will be fun, which is not fun for others.)

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

34 minutes ago, Clarita said:

If your son likes these topics some of the things that is work would be things he'd do for fun.  (Not that all of it will be fun but some of the work will be fun, which is not fun for others.)

Very true. DH is one of those fortunates whose passion became his career & it makes the drudgery & the bad days so much more bearable because at the end of the day he loves what he does. 

ETA: I also know that this is a way in which his ADHD has the potential to be a “superpower” rather than a hindrance. When he does lock onto something, he’s likely to hyper-focus & dive into in 110%. Some of these paths offer careers that would work quite well with that! 

Edited June 14 by Shoes+Ships+SealingWax

[8filltheheart]

3 hours ago, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

This is kind of what I’m feeling, I think. The directions he’s leaning in are competitive. He doesn’t realize that yet, but as the adult I am aware & don’t want to do him a disservice. 

Did all of your kids eventually do this, or did some never take the reins in this way? Would you be concerned if they didn’t, or fine with them following whatever path you laid out, knowing that it would prepare them well for most options? 

For even most top competitive academic fields, I don't think you need to worry about him not being competitive if he simply progresses at his normal level of academic progression.  Most academic fields do technically start at the "beginning."  Being competitive for admissions is a different discussion and one that goes beyond academics.   Sports, music (though even for singing voices mature older), etc, they do require early focus.

In 6th, 7th, and even 8th grade most of my kids were clueless.  My physicsgeek discovered his love of physics in 8th (through Great Courses lectures) and that he detested competition math.  My foreign language loving dd didn't really go full throttle on language until 9th grade when she added Russian on top of French and Latin (though she had fallen in love with French back in 3rd).  Our oldest dd floundered with any specific interest until the summer between 11th and 12th grade.  That summer she worked as a nanny for a severely handicapped boy (he was 14 and functioned on an 18 mo old level).   She spent several hrs a day working with him on occupational therapy exercises.  That is what she ended up pursuing.  

My dd who just graduated from high school is taking a very different path for our family.  She wants to open her own business (she already has several clients.)  She is only getting a 2 yr degree in business management and accounting and those are her focus simply for her own benefit in running business.  (She was pretty adamant about starting a business for the past few yrs.)

So....no, they definitely do not need to find a focus early on.  If they have one, I nurture it.  If they don't, I try to expose them to a wide variety of ideas.

[wendyroo]

2 minutes ago, 8filltheheart said:

For even most top competitive academic fields, I don't think you need to worry about him not being competitive if he simply progresses at his normal level of academic progression.  Most academic fields do technically start at the "beginning."  Being competitive for admissions is a different discussion and one that goes beyond academics. 

I agree that I don't think of robotics, computer science, engineering, or physics as being "doors that close" fields.

My oldest is a STEM-leaning kiddo, and while I definitely want to make sure he graduates high school with a competitive transcript, I don't think there is much one to one correspondence between what he takes in high school and what exactly he will major in at college. For example, I think there are plenty of high schoolers who graduate with strong transcripts - mostly advanced options when offered, math through calculus, some APs, maybe a couple years with an extra elective science - who would be admitted into many colleges to study computer science even if they never took any CS or coding in high school. Same with robotics and engineering...and while I think all strong transcripts would include some physics, a lack of calc-based physics is not going to hold a student back from majoring in physics if instead they built a transcript on other STEM interests.

Like 8filltheheart, I worry most about doors closing with narrowly-focused music and sports goals. If you want to be a concert pianist, like my son does, you have to start early, and you have to laser focus on that one goal because being a jack of all trades musician will not prepare you to be the best of the best pianists (aka employable). OTOH, the vast majority of engineers and computer scientists will be employable, and in fact, for them, more diverse knowledge and skills can be a huge asset. So having broadly studied STEM fields (and foreign language, and electives and humanities) can help them hone how they want to use their eventual college major.

[PeterPan]

5 hours ago, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

whether it mattered if he went all the way through high school having never customized / specialized beyond choosing between electives because he just… didn’t see a reason to. 

Ok, I've done this twice, as my kids are about 10 years apart. My ds will be 16 this fall, and his challenges are bit more, um, complex, than your ds' situation. Even he has *interests*. I think there's natural development and things they naturally do, but they might go through it at a later time than someone else, which is what I was talking about with bloom time. They also have this natural shift you're probably seeing, where they go through different styles of learning. There comes a time when all of a sudden they NEED to debate and be right and be opinionated. And then they NEED to become really good at something and they NEED to become part of a tribe. 

So those things might come at different times, but I think as you're patient much of what you're worried about *will happen*. If someone is disorganized or not ready yet, it's ok to step in there. I know someone who told their dc they *would* go to college and they *would* work x number years at that job the degree indicated and then that dc was *free* to do anything they jolly well chose. That was the amount and style of "parent chooses for you" that fit their situation. 

My ds has this sort of vulnerability along with his super bright IQ and it's an odd mix. I could knock myself out to open doors that literally, if walked through them, wouldn't be to lands where he could stay very long. So there's this process of knock knock, see what happens, try things. I think with what you're describing my advice would just be to TRY things. Just see what happens. Open a door, see what happens. Learning is never wasted, so you might be there to learn the content itself or you might be there for another reason (social skills, experience with a certain dynamic, experience doing xyz interactions, EF skills, whatever). If you deem there to be SOME benefit to him, something that you can say I know what I'm targeting, I know what I'm suggesting he be there, then you'll also be able to say ok, we did that, we got that benefit from it, and if it's not clicking it's ok to bow out and move on.

I would *not* get in some swoon of giftedness and romance and hope things come together. The EF issues are too real for that. It's ok to open some doors, but know why you're there and when it's ok to say ok, tried that door, move on. 

Does that get you any closer? 

1 hour ago, wendyroo said:

I don't think there is much one to one correspondence between what he takes in high school and what exactly he will major in at college.

Bingo. My dd's highest test scores were in a COMPLETELY OPPOSITE area from what she majored in. Even college is just such a debatable thing. I'd put that in that list of things that may or may not be a good plan. You can say his IQ is so high and he's so ready, but I'm just saying it's like some kind of Appian Way. Been there, biked that, and it's really bumpy.

3 hours ago, Shoes+Ships+SealingWax said:

he does lock onto something

I try to connect my ds with interesting experiences and people so he has the chance for that to happen. I try to make his world big. Would your ds qualify for a Davidson Scholar mentor? I doubt mine does and it wouldn't matter if he did, haha. But I try to connect him with intriguing people. I'm missing the age of your ds (because I don't do math on the forums, mercy), but it may be he's just on the CUSP of this sort of taking over of his education. Both of my kids have done it and they've been very different people. Now maybe your ds will stay this chilled, but maybe not.

Fwiw, I do allow for some masterly boredom. Is that a phrase? Not just leisure time but out and out boredom. If I use up all his brain cells, he's not BORED enough to do anything for himself. I try to find some balance on that. It's a thing to consider. 

We've had people on the boards here who didn't have that catching fire happen till they got to college or later. I'm just saying I wouldn't be too *worried* right now. He seems pretty normal for what you'd expect. The only thing I personally would be concerned about, and this is just mom to mom, is if you thought he was *depressed* because depression or maybe anxiety would slow that process down. Mental health is always always a piece to watch as they go into puberty because there's so much flux, so much change going on so quickly. They're like Bambi, the Hulk, and weird blue aliens all at once with so many things happening, lol. 

[caffeineandbooks]

3 hours ago, PeterPan said:

They're like Bambi, the Hulk, and weird blue aliens all at once with so many things happening, lol. 

This is the best descriptive sentence ever.

[Penderwink]

On 6/14/2024 at 11:23 PM, Clarita said:

These fields are competitive because smart hardworking kids have to compete with people who have a passion for the topics and view these as their hobbies as well as their jobs. So the whole shebang is WORK to people who just went into these things for the money/job. If your son likes these topics some of the things that is work would be things he'd do for fun.  (Not that all of it will be fun but some of the work will be fun, which is not fun for others.)

For me, this would be the key issue. I don’t think choosing an academic direction early will impact on whether it is possible to pursue robotics, computer science, engineering, or physics as a career. (With the exception that for most of these the eventual level of math achieved/ confidence in math ability might be more important than is at first apparent.)

Where early direction can help, is if your child might get a lot of joy and long lasting friendships from extracurricular/hobby opportunities available to bright and interested highschoolers in these fields - camps, competitions, olympiads, summer programs etc. Planning ahead around available opportunities can make sense. Depending on the type of child you have, participation in these programs can open up a broad range of opportunities to develop social and emotional skills that they might not otherwise access. 

[Clemsondana]

My older is headed to college to study computer engineering in a few weeks.  Spouse and I are both STEM people so we had an idea of what preparation was needed, since although kid didn't start seriously considering a specific field of engineering until junior year we knew that this was a STEM kid.  Kid did science olympaid and sports and scouts.  We made sure that kid was on a solid college prep track and that math was very, very solid.  We ended up with APs and DE such that kid will be starting as a sophomore (kid is taking the 1 university-specific freshman engineering class online right now).  Kid was an incredibly agreeable student, willing to take whatever classes I suggested.  I'd give options for electives and kid would choose something.  We did talk about what kid wanted for each class - DIY, AP, DE, online/co-op, etc.  When I suggested that maybe, if computer engineering was a possibility, spouse could design a class so that kid could try it out, both agreed.  For senior year, I suggested that maybe they'd continue that for another credit, and both agreed.  For other electives, I'd ask 'what do you want to learn/read?' and kid would pick something.  The transcript includes an extra 1/2 credit of lit because kid spent a summer reading classic science fiction and an extra 1/2 credit of fine arts because kid enjoyed ballroom dance and drawing.  Other than the 2 computer engineering classes, there isn't anything specific to kid's college path other than maybe a coding class as a freshman.  Our choices of what AP/DE kid should attempt aligned with what would be useful, but had we done no AP/DE kid would have been fine with the regular high school classes although kid would be starting as a freshman rather than a sophomore.  Kid never took ownership of long-term planning. and chose classes from a list that I put together.  We know some other kids who are like this and also some kids who basically chose their own path.  I don't think either approach is better, just different and suited to the kid and family involved.  I don't think it's a problem for a young teen to trust that their parents have a better idea of what they'll need.  My kid is rather practical and snarky, with the mentality 'Why would I be the one making the plan, when you are the one who is more knowledgeable?'.  This is also why I'm the one making the packing list for college.  🙂  I imagine that, after this year, I will no longer be the more knowledgeable one.  

[Lori D.]

38 minutes ago, Clemsondana said:

... My kid is rather practical and snarky, with the mentality 'Why would I be the one making the plan, when you are the one who is more knowledgeable?'.  This is also why I'm the one making the packing list for college... I imagine that, after this year, I will no longer be the more knowledgeable one.  

🤣