icky magazine gift subscription - WWYD?

[hornblower]

So my dd was given a sub to Girls Life magazine, which if you're not familiar with, is pretty adequately reviewed at amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/review/product/B00005Q7E6

 

Notice the positive reviews date from way back & certainly it seems to have slid down, down, down. She got the Dec/Jan issue & a note inside that she'd been given a 1 yr sub (from someone who is SO out of touch with us that it's the 2nd time we've gotten something completely out of sorts with our very obvious values....)

 

Bleh. It's awful.

 

WWYD? Intercept it in the mail & just toss it? Try to cancel it? But then the giver would be given the refund, right?

 

Dd, btw, knew right away that I might have reservations about it & said I don't think you'll be wanting me to read this.

 

And there is no way of really discussing it with the gift giver. I don't think she'd take it well.....

 

And help me think through this other thing: if you deliberately give, say something 'waldorfy' (like a cloth doll), to a young boy parented by more mainstream 'plastic is wonderful and if it's a war weapon, it's even better' people - should they be able to give a plastic war weapon toy to your waldorfy child in return? 'Cause in both cases you're deliberately ignoring (maybe even judging) the other people's parenting & their philosophies....?

What do you think?

[phathui5]

I'd go ahead and cancel it. If they ask why, let them know your concerns about it in a "I bet you didn't know that stuff was in there" type of way. I thought Girl's Life was ok until I read those reviews.

[Alessandra]

I'd cancel it too, or just toss it (and hope that the giver does not renew the subscription); but my personal inclination would be to get a substitute magazine for dd. My dc now automatically toss out gumballs (choking hazard IMO) without my asking -- but they know I will buy another type of candy right away.

 

BTW, I think it's fantastic that your dd came to you with her concerns!!!

[Tap]

So my dd was given a sub to Girls Life magazine, which if you're not familiar with, is pretty adequately reviewed at amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/review/product/B00005Q7E6

 

Notice the positive reviews date from way back & certainly it seems to have slid down, down, down. She got the Dec/Jan issue & a note inside that she'd been given a 1 yr sub (from someone who is SO out of touch with us that it's the 2nd time we've gotten something completely out of sorts with our very obvious values....)

 

Bleh. It's awful.

 

WWYD? Intercept it in the mail & just toss it? Try to cancel it? But then the giver would be given the refund, right?

 

Dd, btw, knew right away that I might have reservations about it & said I don't think you'll be wanting me to read this.

 

And there is no way of really discussing it with the gift giver. I don't think she'd take it well.....

 

And help me think through this other thing: if you deliberately give, say something 'waldorfy' (like a cloth doll), to a young boy parented by more mainstream 'plastic is wonderful and if it's a war weapon, it's even better' people - should they be able to give a plastic war weapon toy to your waldorfy child in return? 'Cause in both cases you're deliberately ignoring (maybe even judging) the other people's parenting & their philosophies....?

What do you think?

 

I would cancel it and not say anything to the giver. If you ever get the appropriate chance or if she notices and calls you on it, you can just say, it wasn't appropriate for your dd's age/interests/maturity/religious beliefs...whatever fits.

 

Tell her she was super sweet to think of dd, but you may have to wait a few years for this magazine. Tell her that she loved the magazine-as-a-gift idea, and that you know a few she would really, really enjoy if the giver was interested.

 

 

As far as your last question...I don't have a problem with gift givers giving simpler or younger gifts to a child, but I wouldn't go outside of someones values. I always call and ask the parent for gift suggestions for any child due to this reason.

 

I wouldn't give a gift that was out of my comfort zone, but I would give a gift card if I thought that my choice for a simpler gift would be cast aside. If the family was into more aggressive toys, then the kid may be teased about liking a 'baby toy' and that would lead to a well considered gift actually 'causing' harm.

 

Most boys like Legos and most girls like crafts (although sometimes the reverse is true). These are easy to buy and give to almost any child, even if they are the Waldorf or weapon family.

[Jenny in Florida]

And help me think through this other thing: if you deliberately give, say something 'waldorfy' (like a cloth doll), to a young boy parented by more mainstream 'plastic is wonderful and if it's a war weapon, it's even better' people - should they be able to give a plastic war weapon toy to your waldorfy child in return? 'Cause in both cases you're deliberately ignoring (maybe even judging) the other people's parenting & their philosophies....?

What do you think?

 

First of all, I think I would probably call the customer service number and explain your situation. It is just barely possible that the same publisher offers other magazines and might let you change the subscription to something else someone in your house might like. Then, I would go ahead and purchase a subscription for my daughter to a magazine that would be appropriate and fun for her. She shouldn't go gift-less because the giver was clueless.

 

As to your other question: We run into this sort of thing a lot. We've made lots of choices for our family that aren't exactly mainstream, and my kids have received gifts that really didn't work for us. I usually try not to make a big deal about it with the giver and to use it as a teachable moment for my kids. But I also work really hard not to do the same thing to other people.

 

So, while I won't buy something I find truly objectionable, I do try to come up with gifts that I think the child will enjoy that don't make me gag. For example, we're vegan/pacifist-leaning/liberal-religious/fairly-conservative-about-what-the-kids-watch-and-read folks. We don't have a gaming system. So, when my son gets invited to birthday parties for boys whose entire wish list consists of violent or pop-culture video games, we're always somewhat at a loss. But, no, I don't think it's acceptable to impose my values on another family. And it would certainly not be a kindness to the child to knowingly purchase something that he won't enjoy. What we usually try to do is to identify some underlying interest or topic and then select a book or craft kit or something like that to tie in with that. We seem to have been pretty successful so far and have always gotten nice comments about our gifts.

[Zelda]

 

WWYD? Intercept it in the mail & just toss it? Try to cancel it? But then the giver would be given the refund, right?

 

 

 

And help me think through this other thing: if you deliberately give, say something 'waldorfy' (like a cloth doll), to a young boy parented by more mainstream 'plastic is wonderful and if it's a war weapon, it's even better' people - should they be able to give a plastic war weapon toy to your waldorfy child in return? 'Cause in both cases you're deliberately ignoring (maybe even judging) the other people's parenting & their philosophies....?

What do you think?

 

I'd toss it.

 

I find it difficult to believe that people who have no issues with plastic weapon toys actually PREFER them and prefer them to the exclusion of all other toys. Maybe on MSM produced television shows that mock these kinds of people but IRL?

 

I suppose if parents want to really impose their values on other people's children that's their right but if they do then they should expect similar courtesy to come their way. Of course, at some point someone could just consider taking themselves out of the equation and giving a neutral gift that could be enjoyed by most children. To go from a plastic gun to a doll or vice versa is kind of an enormous leap that ignores many choices in between. At that point the judgment seems pretty blatant.

[SonshineLearner]

First of all, all those getting "Waldorfy" dolls or "toys" should immediately send them to my sweet 5 year old, who likes any kinda of action toys, but especially wood, as they can be used to hit harder. Besides that, can you call the magazine and see if they have a parent magazine that may have other choices for you?

OR, is there somewhere you could trade the magazine? I'm not sure how horrible the magazine could be...when it's meant for young girls. (But, I know it could be....!)

Second, I try to give gifts that are in line with both the receivers and my beliefs...I think that's only kind. BUT, from my husband's family we receive magazines each year that aren't my favorite. For the life of me...I can't understand why I have to keep getting them...

Carrie:-)

[SonshineLearner]

Ewww I went to read the reviews....and it's everything you don't want to bring into your home. It's like asking for a junior high class with all the gossip and worse...to come sit on your coffee table. Who'd want to get that for you! ??

Sorry, but I think either calling the publisher and exchanging subscriptions...or something is your best bet. You could buy an exchange present for your daughter:-)

Carrie:-)