Bookshark A/Sonlight K History Too Violent for Kindergarten?

[matchaverde]

I am in my first year of homeschooling with our charter school. So yes, total newbie. 😁👋 In the last month and a half, my 5 year old boy developed anxiety, partly due to a social situation. But once that situation has resolved, he has this worry bug about bad guys. He constantly talks about how he is scared of bad guys breaking into our home. We managed to calm his worries, so he is not talking about it all the time but he is still sadly preoccupied with it at least six times a day.

Today I pulled out a couple of books we are working on with Bookshark A to see what he remembers. But he has these random questions like was King Henry (VIII) a bad guy? Then I remember how he is concerned about the other pictures he has seen in the Bookshark books that made him concern like an illustration of captured Africans chained up or how Magellan was about to get hit in the head in the Philippines in Story of Exploration. And it makes me think, "Wait, is this history curriculum contributing to his anxiety of bad guys?" I look ahead in the main reference books, and it is not like Bookshark will get any gentler.

I am not sure what to do. I have studied the Bookshark catalog, it says that it works with students with special needs like anxiety but there is no where I can find in the materials (and their blogs) how I am supposed to adjust for a sensitive, anxious boy, like am I supposed to spend extra time and read his read alouds and books ahead of time and make sure to cover up any violent images with post its and make notes of what to skip.

Or is my time better spent taking a break from Bookshark and try something else to meet whatever his standards are for history?

I really love that I don't have to spend so much time online shopping for read alouds anymore, thanks to Bookshark. Even my kid loves Bookshark a lot. I am just not sure if it is the right selection of books to read once school restarts after New Years.

[Rosie_0801]

He needs practice working through to a resolution. Bad guys happen, what do you do about it? 

Also he needs to learn about nuance. That's rather big for a five year old, but you can begin. Was Henry VIII a bad guy? Well, let's think about it. Executing your wives is definitely a bad thing, but wanting an heir isn't, since the security of your kingdom is important. What should he have done instead? This latter question is also a bit big for a five year old, but the point is rather less about laws regarding treason and rather more about making your five year old feel like there is a way to solve the problem and thereby find resolution. Our subconsciouses aren't very good at determining between real and imagined threat, so while on one hand, they can get us overthinking and conjuring up problems (like bad guys who've been dead for centuries) we can also use the same sorts of tricks to soothe them. Yep, slavery was bad, but there were good guys who stopped it. (Modern day slavery can wait until he's bigger.) Five might seem a bit young for topics like death, but we've all got to make our peace with that eventually and it often comes up with bright, anxious kids before you want it to, so resolution in some cases might be "Yes, they died, which isn't very nice, but on the other hand, dead people don't have problems so they're okay now." Or whatever is suitable in your family. (Mine was the sort where avoidance of such topics would be shutting the gate after the horse has bolted, so I had to be more blunt than I might have been otherwise.)

Basically, he needs coping mechanisms since he's obviously old enough to find all this nasty reality a problem. The alternative is to have problems with no skills in coping, because there's no way to sanitise the world enough.

Of course this doesn't answer what to do about your history studies, but five year olds don't need to be reading history at all. History has been around this long and will still be there when he's ready to come back to it if you decide he's getting more practice at learning nasty stuff than he needs to right now.

[Clarita]

3 hours ago, matchaverde said:

Today I pulled out a couple of books we are working on with Bookshark A to see what he remembers. But he has these random questions like was King Henry (VIII) a bad guy? Then I remember how he is concerned about the other pictures he has seen in the Bookshark books that made him concern like an illustration of captured Africans chained up or how Magellan was about to get hit in the head in the Philippines in Story of Exploration. And it makes me think, "Wait, is this history curriculum contributing to his anxiety of bad guys?" I look ahead in the main reference books, and it is not like Bookshark will get any gentler.

First thing is 5 and 6 year olds are at an age where they are just in general concerned with who is the good guy and who is the bad guy. My completely non-anxious child has questions about this all the time. This is the stage in life where they are trying to wrap their heads around are people/characters/things black and white good or evil. They will (hopefully) grow to learn that people aren't just good and evil but that their actions/behaviors can be at times good and bad. 

3 hours ago, matchaverde said:

I am not sure what to do. I have studied the Bookshark catalog, it says that it works with students with special needs like anxiety but there is no where I can find in the materials (and their blogs) how I am supposed to adjust for a sensitive, anxious boy, like am I supposed to spend extra time and read his read alouds and books ahead of time and make sure to cover up any violent images with post its and make notes of what to skip.

Or is my time better spent taking a break from Bookshark and try something else to meet whatever his standards are for history?

So, if you do feel you and/or your child is distraught over this then take a break from this. Many K curriculum cover things like "world culture" or just how the world works for history/social studies. It's OK if they don't know all about political intrigue, all the wars and all the ways people hurt and oppress others in Kindergarten (they have 12 years more years to learn about all of that). So if it's there's a few more topics that will be covered that's going to be bad then I would just continue using this curriculum and just skip the weeks that cover the stuff that'll be too much. Otherwise go with something else.

[ScoutTN]

As usual, Rosie’s post is excellent.

History is totally bonus with Kindy. Not necessary to have a curriculum at all. A social studies approach is fine. Go visit the fire station! We did holiday-history, getting picture books from the library related to the seasons and celebrations. So winter, Chinese New Year, MLK in January, American Presidents in February, etc. Do you have historical places near you with good field trips? Learning about your own city and state can be good. 
 

You need math, reading, and penmanship. Add lots of read alouds and fun, hands-on things for history, science, and art, and you are really fine. History needn’t be weighty for littles. 

Edited December 30, 2023 by ScoutTN

[Xahm]

As everyone had said, you can just skip it if you want. I would check though to see if his focus on "bad guys" is actually making his anxiety worse. Sometimes kids that age seen to need "bad guy stories" to help them externalize and deal with their anxiety, but that can be hard to see as a mom. We'd prefer to shelter them from the bad stuff, and we feel like we're putting too much on them, but sometimes that's just our perspective. If my five year old asks me if bombs are real and if they really kill people, I'll tell him they are and that it is very sad. Then in my head I worry about whether that's too much because I've got pictures of carnage and stories of families turn apart in my head, but he doesn't have that. He just knows that they are a sad, real thing that kill people. He's seen pictures of broken down buildings and probably relates that to bombs, but then his mind moves on. If I refused to answer, he'd likely fixate on those broken down buildings and the thought of bombs and actually spend more time thinking and imagining it. Some kids are more intense, though. My oldest at age 3 and 4 would often go to her dad and ask him to tell her about something sad. So, he'd tell her about a border war or an illness or a destroyed treasure, and they'd put it in her "book of sad things" and she'd move on. She's the kid who had her first existential crisis at 3 when she figured out on her own that everything dies, so even though this was a terrifying thing for me to watch, it was clear she needed to think things through, and being able to physically "close the book" seemed to help her move on.

[Penderwink]

My son (also 5) is also sensitive. He’s very curious about death and what technically happens, but we haven’t got into humans killing or maiming other humans on purpose yet. I know some of the Usborne books Bookshark has, and while they’re wonderful, I wouldn’t read them to him yet (also because I just don’t think it adds that much yet - e.g. I can see that while he loves the animal themed Magic Treehouse books, he doesn’t really “get” the historical ones).

Some other things we do: We are fortunate to have access to a museum with a good Egyptian display, and a Roman reenactment day, so we have read a few books about Egyptians and Romans. We love dinosaurs. He had a passing interest in Titanic and the lunar landing which we followed up with picture books. He knows a lot about and loves books about the history of trains. Otherwise we haven’t done so much history yet, and instead have focused on topics like Scout suggests - lots of picture books and stories to understand our major celebrations, holidays and traditions (which also anyway leads to discussions of historical topics). 

Do you have access to any historic sites/museums that together with some picture books, could form the basis of an alternative history option? 

[matchaverde]

Thank you everybody for the wonderful responses. It really made me think step back and think.

On 12/29/2023 at 9:11 PM, Rosie_0801 said:

He needs practice working through to a resolution. Bad guys happen, what do you do about it? 

Also he needs to learn about nuance. That's rather big for a five year old, but you can begin. Was Henry VIII a bad guy? Well, let's think about it. Executing your wives is definitely a bad thing, but wanting an heir isn't, since the security of your kingdom is important. What should he have done instead? This latter question is also a bit big for a five year old, but the point is rather less about laws regarding treason and rather more about making your five year old feel like there is a way to solve the problem and thereby find resolution. Our subconsciouses aren't very good at determining between real and imagined threat, so while on one hand, they can get us overthinking and conjuring up problems (like bad guys who've been dead for centuries) we can also use the same sorts of tricks to soothe them. Yep, slavery was bad, but there were good guys who stopped it. (Modern day slavery can wait until he's bigger.) Five might seem a bit young for topics like death, but we've all got to make our peace with that eventually and it often comes up with bright, anxious kids before you want it to, so resolution in some cases might be "Yes, they died, which isn't very nice, but on the other hand, dead people don't have problems so they're okay now." Or whatever is suitable in your family. (Mine was the sort where avoidance of such topics would be shutting the gate after the horse has bolted, so I had to be more blunt than I might have been otherwise.)

Basically, he needs coping mechanisms since he's obviously old enough to find all this nasty reality a problem. The alternative is to have problems with no skills in coping, because there's no way to sanitise the world enough.

Of course this doesn't answer what to do about your history studies, but five year olds don't need to be reading history at all. History has been around this long and will still be there when he's ready to come back to it if you decide he's getting more practice at learning nasty stuff than he needs to right now.

I really like this. I really want my kid to have the coping mechanisms to handle that bad guys/things happened. We have been working on his anxiety about bad guys but we have been losing sleep over this for the last month. I am almost at burned out dealing with this. So yes, I am thinking just to do a quick look ahead and decide whether to read it or skip it. I like to keep the read alouds if he is emotionally mature enough for them.

 

On 12/30/2023 at 12:58 AM, Clarita said:

First thing is 5 and 6 year olds are at an age where they are just in general concerned with who is the good guy and who is the bad guy. My completely non-anxious child has questions about this all the time. This is the stage in life where they are trying to wrap their heads around are people/characters/things black and white good or evil. They will (hopefully) grow to learn that people aren't just good and evil but that their actions/behaviors can be at times good and bad. 

So, if you do feel you and/or your child is distraught over this then take a break from this. Many K curriculum cover things like "world culture" or just how the world works for history/social studies. It's OK if they don't know all about political intrigue, all the wars and all the ways people hurt and oppress others in Kindergarten (they have 12 years more years to learn about all of that). So if it's there's a few more topics that will be covered that's going to be bad then I would just continue using this curriculum and just skip the weeks that cover the stuff that'll be too much. Otherwise go with something else.

Thank you for bringing up this point. I am sleep deprived and I totally forgot that this is the age that this is the age he is still figuring out what is good and what is bad. My 5 year old is not a fan of Spiderman or any superhero TV shows because he doesn't like watching any fighting. I thought of getting him to do a martial arts class to empower him, but he really doesn't like the idea of fighting or getting hurt. Oh well.

I am leaning heavily just to keep with the schedule but skip the "heavy" topics for now since that can wait. It is not like he remembers a lot of what we read for history but somehow the dark parts of history seems to stick.

On 12/30/2023 at 8:21 AM, ScoutTN said:

As usual, Rosie’s post is excellent.

History is totally bonus with Kindy. Not necessary to have a curriculum at all. A social studies approach is fine. Go visit the fire station! We did holiday-history, getting picture books from the library related to the seasons and celebrations. So winter, Chinese New Year, MLK in January, American Presidents in February, etc. Do you have historical places near you with good field trips? Learning about your own city and state can be good. 
 

You need math, reading, and penmanship. Add lots of read alouds and fun, hands-on things for history, science, and art, and you are really fine. History needn’t be weighty for littles. 

Yes, we have visited many of historical places near our home already. I haven't done things like show him a fire station yet. So, I am going to look into incorporating that kind of field trips.

I wouldn't have focus much on history or science this year but since we are a part of a charter school we have to have work samples in these subject areas and show we meet state standards (whatever they are).

But so far this school year, my kid discovered he really loves science! And he still enjoys bookshark history (even though there are very scary bits sprinkled here and there). So, if he doesn't hate it yet and still want to do it, I don't see a reason to switch to something yet. I am just going to replace one of the history spines and not focus on explorers this year.

Edited January 1 by matchaverde

[matchaverde]

On 12/30/2023 at 12:12 PM, Xahm said:

As everyone had said, you can just skip it if you want. I would check though to see if his focus on "bad guys" is actually making his anxiety worse. Sometimes kids that age seen to need "bad guy stories" to help them externalize and deal with their anxiety, but that can be hard to see as a mom. We'd prefer to shelter them from the bad stuff, and we feel like we're putting too much on them, but sometimes that's just our perspective. If my five year old asks me if bombs are real and if they really kill people, I'll tell him they are and that it is very sad. Then in my head I worry about whether that's too much because I've got pictures of carnage and stories of families turn apart in my head, but he doesn't have that. He just knows that they are a sad, real thing that kill people. He's seen pictures of broken down buildings and probably relates that to bombs, but then his mind moves on. If I refused to answer, he'd likely fixate on those broken down buildings and the thought of bombs and actually spend more time thinking and imagining it. Some kids are more intense, though. My oldest at age 3 and 4 would often go to her dad and ask him to tell her about something sad. So, he'd tell her about a border war or an illness or a destroyed treasure, and they'd put it in her "book of sad things" and she'd move on. She's the kid who had her first existential crisis at 3 when she figured out on her own that everything dies, so even though this was a terrifying thing for me to watch, it was clear she needed to think things through, and being able to physically "close the book" seemed to help her move on.

This post is so spot on. We actually got one of the A Little Spot books to help cope with his anxiety with bad guys. He thinks bad guys are going to break in but we did this pretend investigation. We drove around the neighborhood to see if any bad guys are dancing on top of the roof and trying to break in from the top of the roof (I dont know if Santa has any influence on his imagination since this worry monster started in December). I also show him how we could keep us safe, like locking doors and windows. And as long as the door is locked, we are good. But his imagination gets the best of him because next thing he talks about is bad guys using a wrecking ball to get inside. So, I learned and still learning how to set boundaries on his worrying. I told him his worry monster likes to play what if games, and if he let the worry monster makes him believe in his what if stories, he wins and grows bigger. Only way to shrink the monster is to tell him that he know what the worry monster says is not real.

As much as I wish I could shelter him from bad stuff, it is impossible. We live in the city. We see protests regarding current events. He once saw violent images regarding the war in Ukraine. And I have to explain away that sometimes bad things happen in different parts of the world and we have leaders who make very bad decisions that affect peoples' lives. Luckily, he has no memories of the protests and break-ins that happened here because of covid lol.

I really like the concept of having a book of sad things and being able to close the book. I might have to try that!

On 12/30/2023 at 11:31 PM, Penderwink said:

My son (also 5) is also sensitive. He’s very curious about death and what technically happens, but we haven’t got into humans killing or maiming other humans on purpose yet. I know some of the Usborne books Bookshark has, and while they’re wonderful, I wouldn’t read them to him yet (also because I just don’t think it adds that much yet - e.g. I can see that while he loves the animal themed Magic Treehouse books, he doesn’t really “get” the historical ones).

Some other things we do: We are fortunate to have access to a museum with a good Egyptian display, and a Roman reenactment day, so we have read a few books about Egyptians and Romans. We love dinosaurs. He had a passing interest in Titanic and the lunar landing which we followed up with picture books. He knows a lot about and loves books about the history of trains. Otherwise we haven’t done so much history yet, and instead have focused on topics like Scout suggests - lots of picture books and stories to understand our major celebrations, holidays and traditions (which also anyway leads to discussions of historical topics). 

Do you have access to any historic sites/museums that together with some picture books, could form the basis of an alternative history option? 

It really helps to have input from another parent who has a sensitive 5 year old!

Yes, I want to do an alternative history. Skip some of the negativity but not completely sanitize the bad. Just allow a little bit in to discuss in order to grow a little bit in coping with the world. I thought of just getting a history book on artists or inventors. And work through that. My 5 year old is also sensitive with the concept of death and he wants to know how to live a long life. I think if I focus on different peoples' lives, he could learn how some people live long lives and how some people don't live long lives because of disease, famine, etc. And try to steer the conversation to being grateful for living in the time we are living and how we know the importance of eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercise, and taking care of our mental health. Hopefully this won't be too heavy for him either.

But I think maybe what you suggest is simpler. Just focus on learning holidays and celebrations and traditions. It could work great with the calendar we got with Bookshark anyway.

Yes, we do have access to museums here. We have a very basic local history museum and we have an anthropological museum that is pretty woke. But he is not ready to understand this wokeness agenda yet because then I am back to discussing how these lands and cultural artefacts were taken again! It is Story of Exploration all over again! But we do have a good art museum, so hence why I am leaning on focusing on art history for kids for the moment. 

[Clarita]

1 hour ago, matchaverde said:

Yes, I want to do an alternative history. Skip some of the negativity but not completely sanitize the bad. Just allow a little bit in to discuss in order to grow a little bit in coping with the world. I thought of just getting a history book on artists or inventors. And work through that.

It won't be as put together as Bookshark and you'll have to come up with stuff for your work samples, but you could work through The Usborne Encyclopedia of World History it does talk about some wars and conquering but in more of a this happened sort of way. Otherwise, it spends more time showing you what things were like back then and what important contributions to civilization the people had. My children also got Lonely Planet Kids Amazing Ancient World Atlas, this one focuses on an area of the world at a time so it might be a little more cohesive than just going through The Usborne Encyclopedia of World History I think the Usborne encyclopedia has more information but the Amazing World Atlas has bigger and real pictures of artifacts and real places.

On the work sample front you could try and use the Bookshark stuff (I don't know if they have worksheets or activities). To be honest for Kindergarten I just grabbed the public school Kindergarten social studies worksheet packet and an Evan Moor geography workbook and got my work samples from those. Occasionally I would loosely tie in whatever history we were doing to something from those or just before my meeting have my children fill out one or two to meet requirements.

[Nm.]

For 5yr olds I like five in a row books.  They are not history focused.  It is more about people and their individual lives (which often has a little history sprinkled in).  There are some sad stories- but it’s just so different than factual history.  It’s relationships.  Mine haven’t been ready for history until 3rd grade or so.

Edited January 2 by Nm.