Wednesday's Ramble: Not all black men like sports, twin mamas really don't get sleep, and I spent a fortune at Costco...

[Corraleno]

3 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

I distinctly remember being at Mayo and wearing a U of Iowa sweatshirt and being asked about Big Ten football by more than one person, but one fella in particular was flabbergasted that I attended the college but wasn’t into football. Really? 👀 

24 minutes ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

DD went to Duke and never once went to a basketball game. She flabbergasts people when they find out. Even non sports people would go to one game 😂

Not only does DS attend one of the biggest sportsball universities in the country, he's actually a varsity athlete — but he has no interest in sports, couldn't name one player on the football or basketball team, or tell you what their win/loss record is, or who/where they're playing, etc. It always totally flummoxes people when they see a 6'7" 220 lb guy wearing a tee shirt or hoody with his university on it, and then the conversation goes something like this:

Random guy: Hey how about that game last night! Do you think [some player] will [be off the injured list soon / be back next year or go for the draft / some other detail]?

DS: Uh... I wouldn't know anything about that.

Random guy: Oh, sorry I just assumed you were on the basketball team. Football?

DS: Sorry, I don't know much about football either.

Random guy: Oh, you look like an athlete.

DS: Yeah, I fence.

Random guy: <blank look> You do... what?

DS: I stab people. While wearing a funny white outfit and a mask

Random guy: <confused look, not sure if he should back away>

DS: I'm on the fencing team.

Random guy: That's a.... sport???

LOL

[Ann.without.an.e]

1 hour ago, Corraleno said:

Not only does DS attend one of the biggest sportsball universities…..

That’s funny 😂. I love that he fences. So much cooler than basketball ❤️

 

Younger DS used to like to wear Duke gear to be supportive of his sister but then he stopped for the same reason. People would ask him about a game or sports and he would be like “I have no clue, it’s just the school where my sister goes and she buys me stuff from the store” 😂

[MagistraKennedy]

On 3/8/2023 at 2:31 PM, KungFuPanda said:

I have thoughts on all three subjects.  

1.  I think some people think all Real Men are into sports.  It's a conversation starter that must work for them often enough to keep doing it.  We were at a wedding and a friend's husband asked if dh was into sports. Nope.  He asked another guy at the table.  Again, nope.  Dh hit it off with the other guy because they both dabbled in bluegrass music.  Poor sportsball guy was left out.  Turns out, sportsball guy was a mathematician like Dh and they would have probably talked for days if they'd know that about each other at the time.  

2. I don't think I've ever passed the $300 mark at Costco.  I would just pass out if I saw $600+.  It's likely we're buying the same stuff, but my Costco is less than 5 miles from me, so sometimes I'll run by just to get the rotisserie chicken and I feel like I'm gaming the system.  My next trip will be the renewal one, so that number will be bigger.

3.  I do not understand how mothers of multiples function.  Dd's baby is three weeks old now and they are not sleeping much at all.  She's just nursing and pumping and holding and it's a lot.  Do twin moms even know how they did it or is it all a blur once they get out of baby jail?  Apparently dgs sleeps great during the day as long as you never put him down.🤣 

Thanks for the break.  I'm actually at work and needed to goof off for a bit. 

1. My husband would rather PLAY sports than watch sports, he says. 😉 He's never been one to follow teams much, with the exception of our twins' soccer games. 

2. Family of 7, so our Costco bills are often $250. If we get out under $100, we celebrate. 

3. Momma of twins --- and so much blur. My husband will look at photos of our twins when they were tiny (they are almost 15 now) and say, "Oh gosh, they're so cute", as if he'd never seen them before. I chided him about it, and he says the first TWO or three years were lost to him, memory wise. Take loads and loads of photos. I think the chronic sleep deprivation (I had a teenager and a toddler, then the twins. 25 months between DD#2 and the boys) deletes brain cells. 

[Ann.without.an.e]

33 minutes ago, MagistraKennedy said:

1. My husband would rather PLAY sports than watch sports, he says. 😉 He's never been one to follow teams much, with the exception of our twins' soccer games. 

2. Family of 7, so our Costco bills are often $250. If we get out under $100, we celebrate. 

3. Momma of twins --- and so much blur. My husband will look at photos of our twins when they were tiny (they are almost 15 now) and say, "Oh gosh, they're so cute", as if he'd never seen them before. I chided him about it, and he says the first TWO or three years were lost to him, memory wise. Take loads and loads of photos. I think the chronic sleep deprivation (I had a teenager and a toddler, then the twins. 25 months between DD#2 and the boys) deletes brain cells. 

I can't imagine how any of y'all had other kids and then had twins ... how did you do this?????? DD has already told her DH not to think about a baby anytime soon. She says maybe when the twins are like 5 haha. 

[Grace Hopper]

On 3/8/2023 at 1:31 PM, KungFuPanda said:

I have thoughts on all three subjects.  

1.  I think some people think all Real Men are into sports.  It's a conversation starter that must work for them often enough to keep doing it.  We were at a wedding and a friend's husband asked if dh was into sports. Nope.  He asked another guy at the table.  Again, nope.  Dh hit it off with the other guy because they both dabbled in bluegrass music.  Poor sportsball guy was left out.  Turns out, sportsball guy was a mathematician like Dh and they would have probably talked for days if they'd know that about each other at the time.  

2. I don't think I've ever passed the $300 mark at Costco.  I would just pass out if I saw $600+.  It's likely we're buying the same stuff, but my Costco is less than 5 miles from me, so sometimes I'll run by just to get the rotisserie chicken and I feel like I'm gaming the system.  My next trip will be the renewal one, so that number will be bigger.

3.  I do not understand how mothers of multiples function.  Dd's baby is three weeks old now and they are not sleeping much at all.  She's just nursing and pumping and holding and it's a lot.  Do twin moms even know how they did it or is it all a blur once they get out of baby jail?  Apparently dgs sleeps great during the day as long as you never put him down.🤣 

Thanks for the break.  I'm actually at work and needed to goof off for a bit. 

1. Agree. Short of major pro football, he’d just be smiling and nodding. 
 

2. Same. If we hit $200 at COSTCO on a regular trip, we get sweaty palms. We do use them for tires and optical but those don’t seem like frequent “regular” purchases. We don’t get a ton of items there, mostly bathroom tissue, some meats, a few particulars we like. A six hundred dollar bill would freak me out! But if you’re buying furniture, a mattress, sports equipment like a kayak or SUP, I guess it could add up. I have been tempted by that $2K greenhouse…

3. For a number of reasons I was unable to nurse my twins, though at the beginning I did pump in an attempt to give them the good stuff. I have to admit that bottle feeding and working on pretty strict routine made things easier for me. I have tremendous respect for mothers of multiples who are able to successfully nurse both/all their infants. Also, I’d been on bedrest for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy with them, so I didn’t mind the disruption to my schedule and sleep, it just felt so liberating to not be confined to bed. There is definitely a blur factor involved, but with all my childbirths what I remember least is the level of pain associated with any of them. 
 

OP your dd is doing great and I hope she and the babies will soon be past the most challenging parts of early infancy. 

[MagistraKennedy]

1 hour ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

I can't imagine how any of y'all had other kids and then had twins ... how did you do this?????? DD has already told her DH not to think about a baby anytime soon. She says maybe when the twins are like 5 haha. 

😂

I have 6 ---

28
16
14 yo twins
10
8

My boys were 4 when their younger sister was born.  As a friend of mine would say --- "it's just one more ball in the crazy hopper at that point." 

My BFF was AMAZING when my boys were tiny. She helped tremendously with my toddler, taking her on outings, etc. My teenager was ... a teenager. 🤷‍♀️My husband worked from home, is way laid back, and was VERY hands on with all of our kids.  He did a lot of the 'night work' -- taking baby for a diaper change, cuddling one while I nursed the other, etc. I DID NOT tandem nurse, but nursed babies back to back instead. 

Hard work --- but not so hard that I swore off any more babies. 😉

 

[katilac]

2 hours ago, MagistraKennedy said:

My husband will look at photos of our twins when they were tiny (they are almost 15 now) and say, "Oh gosh, they're so cute", as if he'd never seen them before 

I think that's pretty typical for any parent! You pull out those old pictures, and you're just hit with how small and cute they were. 

[Grace Hopper]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

I think that's pretty typical for any parent! You pull out those old pictures, and you're just hit with how small and cute they were. 

And as young adults they love the pictures of their little selves, and gush about how cute they and their siblings were as tots. 

[katilac]

On 3/8/2023 at 12:08 PM, Ann.without.an.e said:

I'm not at my house for about 12 hours a day Monday through Friday and I really don't want to bombard y'all with posts but y'all are keeping me sane here lol. 

But today was a little different. This morning for a few hours my mom helped DD since DS and I had dental appointments. A black man in his 30's? came in and I overheard the dental hygienist try to talk to him. She had been talking away about all sort of things to the man before him.

"So is Carolina playing tonight?" 

Man "No idea"

"Ah, so what about this last football season, how was that?"

"Don't really follow that much to be honest. I'm not really into sports."

She stayed quiet. I really don't think she could think of anything else to talk to him about. Idk why but I found this a mix of odd, humorous, and sad all at the same time. I was laying back in my chair thinking of a million things I would ask him. How about this weather? Are you able to enjoy it? Do you have summer plans? I could think of at least a dozen more with no effort. ETA: I think I mostly found this intriguing because we have a close friend who runs into this all the time. Everyone seems bewildered that he is a black man who isn't in to sports lol. 

 

To be fair, the client could have said 'I'm not into sports, I usually cook/read/build models in my spare time' if they wanted to talk. Or the hygienist might have gotten the vibe from tone/facial expression that they didn't want to talk. And the prior client may have brought up some of the "all kinds of things" they were talking about. Honestly,  my chat time with the dental hygienist is hi, all good since last visit? okay, let's get started . . . and then I have x-ray sensors or cleaning tools in my mouth the entire rest of the time, there's really not much talking getting done. 

I'm not saying that's never a thing, just that it wasn't necessarily so in this particular case. I don't doubt your friend's experiences.

 

[katilac]

42 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

And as young adults they love the pictures of their little selves, and gush about how cute they and their siblings were as tots. 

My kids, every time old pictures are viewed: Aww, look at us, we were so cute! 😄

[Jaybee]

On 3/11/2023 at 11:54 AM, Ann.without.an.e said:

I can't imagine how any of y'all had other kids and then had twins ... how did you do this?????? DD has already told her DH not to think about a baby anytime soon. She says maybe when the twins are like 5 haha. 

Well, my olders were 7 and 4 when my twins were born, and they were actually a lot of help. I was much more relaxed as a mom by then, and breastfeeding wasn't new. I had someone clean the house those early months--a lifesaver. (I did the laundry and cooking.) Dh mostly worked from home, and in the evenings, we did a lot of tag-teaming. I often thought twins must be a lot easier than I imagined having a baby and a toddler would be.