Tweaking our “New Normal”

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

We drastically changed our homeschooling methods this year, & I’d appreciate some insight now that we’ve been running things differently for a few months.

The traditional classical schedule we homeschooled with when DS was 3-5 suited me well, however something about the combination of the length of our days, the intensity of our materials, & the number of subjects stopped working well for DS this school year. He felt worn out by our days & craved more autonomy in his learning. 

After some back-&-forth we arrived at our current setup: he must complete three short subjects of my choice (around an hour of work total) in any order at some point in our day, but how we spend the rest of our time is up to him.

Some aspects have worked well. He’s gotten to chase rabbit trails in a manner that our previous way of doing things did not accommodate: he learned three basic sewing stitches, created a custom botany game, embarked on a month-long graphing unit study, & wrote a play script. Other aspects present problems. In-between the rabbit trails that grab his interest, weeks are spent kind of aimlessly dabbling. Very little gets done during these times, which is frustrating to me. He also loses interest in his rabbit trails fairly quickly; if I didn’t insist, he would not have followed through on the above rabbit trail projects to completion. 

There must be something that will suit us both. Possibly something block-schedule-ish? Unit studies where he picks the topic but I require regular work for X weeks or until Y task is accomplished? Something else that hasn’t occurred to me? 

Edited December 3, 2019 by Expat_Mama_Shelli

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

After continuing to mull this over, I think I’m going to propose to DS that we keep the number of subjects I choose each month (3) & keep his ability to select the other subjects, but add a requirement the his choices be on a monthly basis (or “to completion of XYZ task”). Given the length of our current school day, which has been working well so far this year, he would have 2 elective slots.

If anyone has additional thoughts, I’d be happy to hear them... I’ll check back once we’ve discussed things to share his thoughts, as well. 

[freesia]

I am wondering how old he is. If he is 8 or younger  I think he is being completely age appropriate with regard to attention span. What do you want him to get done that he isn’t?  It’s also appropriate to not have a lot of product at that age beyond a math page and some writing.  Sometimes when our kids are academically advanced, we expect them to be able to produce output at that level, but ime as a primary teacher and homeschooler that is rarely the case.  I would continue to let him explore and discuss what he is learning with you, keeping those three have to subjects.

[Lecka]

I think kids are thinking a lot.  They don’t always produce a product or decide to share their thoughts to prove they are having them.  

[Jackie]

That type of dabbling is completely normal. For the vast majority of projects or interests, my daughter prefers breadth over depth. It’s only the occasional obsession that she really chases down. Remember that young kids know little of the world. They don’t know if they want to spend a month learning about XYZ when they don’t even know what that entails. 

I’ve calmed my Type A personality by reminding myself regularly that she is so far ahead of the standard curriculum that she could literally do *nothing* for a couple years and still be advanced. And since she is not actually doing nothing when it looks like she is doing nothing, she could get away with it even longer.

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

Alright, I guess this is just a me issue then.

In previous years we created TONS of artwork together, worked on lots of projects, did science experiments... I enjoyed planning them out & sharing the experiences with him; he enjoyed participating in them & felt accomplished afterwards.

Now it’s different. We still enjoy board games together, but I’m realizing as he gets older that we don’t have a whole lot in common & that many of his interests are more independent ventures. I don’t have much of a role. At the same time he still craves my presence & the ability to use me as a sounding board for his ideas, so I can’t really “do my own thing,“ either. I feel like I’m left just kind of... sitting there...

I guess the root of it is that those projects & activities were my way of doing something special for him. I keep trying to find some way of making them happen, because that’s what *I* wanted our homeschool to look like... because they are special to ME... but maybe that’s not a good reason. 

[freesia]

Ahh, that is helpful. It is ok to have some things in your homeschool day that you enjoy. Make sure you keep some, in fact. For me, it is reading aloud. It makes me feel successful as a parent and teacher. It brings me joy.  But, as you see, homeschooling rarely turns out according to our vision bc it involves other people with there own visions.

So,if I were you, I would make sure the required activities included activities you enjoy—like science experiments—but maybe one tome a week. He will grow and change and may need your creative energies more intensely again. 

Also, don’t just sit there, find something to do while he works—read, cross stitch...

[Jackie]

12 hours ago, Expat_Mama_Shelli said:

I feel like I’m left just kind of... sitting there... 

 

I do understand this. So far this year, DD has been taking Physics through Clover Creek, and I only supply/support some of the EF and tech skills. I’m also lab partner for the labs, but that’s literally just me managing the stopwatch most the time. She has done NaNoWriMo, which is independent for her. She has done some Spanish, which is online. She is doing math, which we do partially together right now, though she started out the year with fully independent resources. She does some local, outsourced, just-for-fun classes. And the rest of the time is free time, which she uses to explore a lot of things that I often know nothing about.

This is why I’m on Facebook too much lately. She needs me to be “on call” for troubleshooting, but not for teaching. I’m struggling to figure out what to do with the time that would be productive and enjoyable for me, but the fact is that this style of homeschooling is working for her.

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

12 hours ago, freesia said:

Also, don’t just sit there, find something to do while he works—read, cross stitch...

I’m working on this. I tend to be very immersive with my own pursuits, so I’ve struggled to find something that I can easily drop & pick up again repeatedly. It also can’t be anything that looks even remotely interesting because, well... 😅

I can peruse forums & examine curricula on my phone, but I hate how that must look to DS. I can read nonfiction if I take notes to keep my train of thought (fiction is a no-go, because I’m a cover-to-cover reader). I’ve tried to write, but struggle with that for the same reasons as fiction reading. Perhaps if I stuck to outlining & editing.

[Xahm]

It sounds like this is something you are working out, but I want to say I share your trouble a little. It's hard, especially with gifted only/oldest kids to have reasonable expectations and know what growth looks like. I struggle with this, too, and have had to apologize to my oldest a few times. When my oldest was fine, I hated hearing, "she's still so young!" but that didn't make it less true. I knew I'd be intense with my kids, which is why I have four little ones to spread the intensity over. Right now there is virtually no chance of me not being needed in any given moment! I'm not sure that I could recommend this particular approach to forced laissez faire parenting, though.