A new and different idea to help curb kids' overuse of computer/games/digital media

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

We are not a high-tech household, possessing only a PC and an X-Box. However, these are enough to test the powers of my children's self-control and self-discipline when it comes to overuse and compulsions to play video games.

 

I'm not one to enact rigid schedules and routines, so there is often flexibility that leaves time for independent thinking and use of our time. 9 times out of 10, that use of time involves telling 7 children "no" or "maybe later" or "we'll see" or "just for an hour" for their time to use the computer.

 

Honestly, that really gets on my nerves...being asked repeatedly...even after stating an expecation of not being asked. Putting away the PC is not an option in our home, and I don't like to have to put the X-Box under lock and key. I don't like the contention and strife that this modern tech seems to encourage. I'm not going to throw out the stuff either. So, what's a mom to do?

 

Well, she puts on her "thinking cap" and comes up with a funny (imo) idea. She decides it is time to help her children practice self control.

 

She removes certain "necessary parts" of the X-Box (the power cord) and the PC (the mouse...easily detachable), and she hides them in place where her children will never find them. (i.e. between the folded towels in the bathroom cabinet, between the folded blankets in the linen closet, etc).

 

The next time my boys asked to play the X-Box, I said "sure." Well, they rush off w/ glee only to discover they cannot play because parts are missing.

 

They return to me and ask where these things are. LOL. I say with a grin,"Well, I will not be divulging that information at this time."

 

Just wanted to share.

 

Perhaps this method may seem a bit devious to some, but it has worked well for us. I bet some of you have been smart enough to do this a long time ago.

 

Blessings,

Camy

[bumbledeb]

I personally wouldn't be so mean.......

 

What do you consider overuse? Can they set up a timetable so everyone gets a fair turn? Or perhaps day about?

 

Maybe they just need to know exactly when they CAN play and wouldn't need to ask so often.

 

ETA: Sorry, just read your subject line more carefully. I thought at first you were asking for a new idea...

Edited November 1, 2008 by bumbledeb
should read more slowly

[TraceyS/FL]

I've done that.... the keyboard lived on my shelf for awhile.

 

I had to give it back when DD needed to do some school work on it.

 

I really really want to order these timers.

 

want to play the wii? sure, grab the 30 minute time first....

 

http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resources-LER6999-Time-Tracker®/dp/B0012OI6J0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1225557272&sr=1-2

 

Because i hate watching the clock.

 

I need these - and was going to order them except DH didn't get paid yesterday at his side job :glare:

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

Debra, honestly, I do not think this is mean. With 7 children (6 boys) in our household, management of these items can practically be a full-time job, one which I am not willing to do. My children understand that there are days when they can play the PC or X-Box, they are not banned from them. Sometimes they are suprised to find they can play, and this is after all responsibilities and chores have been accomplished. Blessings.

[TraceyS/FL]

Debra, honestly, I do not think this is mean. With 7 children (6 boys) in our household, management of these items can practically be a full-time job, one which I am not willing to do. My children understand that there are days when they can play the PC or X-Box, they are not banned from them. Sometimes they are suprised to find they can play, and this is after all responsibilities and chores have been accomplished. Blessings.

 

I only have 3 and it's full time here too. Just in case that makes you feel better ;)

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

What's interesting is when my boys all get together and try to "regulate" each others time on the video game media. I think I could write a Saturday Night Live skit featuring this whole affair (grin). I hope the timer will work for your girls. Blessings.

[Ria]

I've found it much simpler to tell the kids that certain days of the week are screen time days. If , on that day, they ask repeatedly, they know that they will lose their screen time for that day. I'd much rather teach the kids to obey, follow our rules, and not nag than hide parts to the gaming systems.

 

Ria (who has five boys so I know all about boys and games)

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

Well, there ya go, Tracey...perhaps this new idea could help reduce your "full-time video game monitor" workload (smile). I wasn't trying to whine too much about our situation, just wanted to show how I took control of it.....and I always like to reduce any tension that can result from things like this. Creative and comedic solutions have helped us a lot. Blessings. :o)

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

I know what you're are saying, Ria. Obedience is not the issue in our house. And you certainly do know about the computer game issue with 5 boys. I appreciate what you are saying. Blessings.

[TraceyS/FL]

LOL, my middle does pretty good - but the oldest weasels in and connives to steal her time.

 

The biggest problem right now is that when they ask to play, and i'm in the middle of something - i never actually seem to enforce the "30 minutes". SOOO, i'm hoping the timer works for that. I think i could also set one to count UP, and allow them to cash that in for time. Read for 30 minutes - earn 15 minutes on _______ .

 

Right now - they are apparently fighting over the karaoke machine (that was in storage and my mom got it out without my permission), i'm about DONE with that battle. Back it will go.

 

Oh gee. SHOOT. ME. I was never like this (typed after telling almost 13yo that :glare:)

 

ANYWAY, Another option might be to find a spot for the controllers for the game too - hold them ransom in a spot! LOL!!

[bumbledeb]

Debra, honestly, I do not think this is mean. With 7 children (6 boys) in our household, management of these items can practically be a full-time job, one which I am not willing to do. My children understand that there are days when they can play the PC or X-Box, they are not banned from them. Sometimes they are suprised to find they can play, and this is after all responsibilities and chores have been accomplished. Blessings.

 

It was the saying 'yes you can play' but knowing they couldn't really that I found a little mean. (Perhaps mean isn't the right word, I'm trying to use some of the American expressions I've been picking up.)

 

I know how my children would feel if I did that to them. Or how I'd feel if someone did it to me.

 

I sympathize with the logistical difficulties. :)

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

LOL...yes, I understand why you would think this is mean. However, my kids do not interpret it as mean. We do a lot of kidding around and pranking to each other in our house, and it's all out of love. There have even been time when my boys have gotten into my chocolate stash, and hid it. LOL. They laugh and tease me about it. I tell them it's they that will have to pay for hiding my chocolate :o). Blessings

[bumbledeb]

LOL...yes, I understand why you would think this is mean. However, my kids do not interpret it as mean. We do a lot of kidding around and pranking to each other in our house, and it's all out of love. There have even been time when my boys have gotten into my chocolate stash, and hid it. LOL. They laugh and tease me about it. I tell them it's they that will have to pay for hiding my chocolate :o). Blessings

 

OK, fair enough. If they hide the chocolate, they more than deserve what's coming to them!:lol:

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

Tracey, we are living the same lives! LOL...However, I am very jeaous....I *want* a karaoke machine!!!!!

[TraceyS/FL]

Tracey, we are living the same lives! LOL...However, I am very jeaous....I *want* a karaoke machine!!!!!

 

Ohhhh, i have a gently used one (since it's been in storage for so long ;) )i can send you!!

 

:lol:

 

Off to find the chocolate - 40 minutes of burning DVDs left until i have to go supervise the "cleaning".

[Cheryl in NM]

I bought a digital timer at Wal-Mart for less than $10. It has a clock, a count up timer and 2 timers. I just use that. Of course, I only have 1, but I have to use the timer frequently because I'll get into something and forget his timelimit! I don't know if this will help you or not, but there ya have it!:001_smile:

[dirty ethel rackham]

While I think your hiding place for necessary parts is ingenious, I would only use it to restrict use. I would say that they could use the machine, only for them to find out that they can't. When children cannot control themselves, I would keep personal control of the "necessary parts", but put in another system to help them control their use and take the burden off you.

 

What we did when my kids were younger was to give each child a certain number of "screen time" tickets, worth 30 minutes. They were allowed a maximum of 3 per day and 10 per week. The could not turn on the machine without presenting their tickets. When they did, I would ask questions about the appropriateness of this time (is your schoolwork done, is there enough time to play before xxx activity, will others be included?). It took the onus off me having to decide for them and it helped them learn what was acceptible. After about 3 months, I didn't need to use it anymore. We never did resort to removing "parts", but I would have, if necessary.

[jamnkats]

I agree that it is mean to tell them they CAN play, fully well knowing they they CAN'T. Extrapolate it to the bigger picture. Do you think this kind of "trickery" or "teasing" (I'm putting it in quotes because I think it is mean - not trickery or teasing) is something that you hope they practice with their friends, their siblings and you and your husband?

 

Children learn their best lessons from what is modeled for them.

[Frankie]

I agree that it is mean to tell them they CAN play, fully well knowing they they CAN'T. Extrapolate it to the bigger picture. Do you think this kind of "trickery" or "teasing" (I'm putting it in quotes because I think it is mean - not trickery or teasing) is something that you hope they practice with their friends, their siblings and you and your husband?

 

Children learn their best lessons from what is modeled for them.

 

I agree with this. I think that it's all about honesty. A parent who tells a child, "Yes, you can" knowing they can't is lying to the child. The child will learn to not trust the parent, and it teaches the child that if the parent lies, that it must be okay for them to lie as well. '

 

I think you have a great idea except for the part where you tell them they can play.

[TraceyS/FL]

I agree with this. I think that it's all about honesty. A parent who tells a child, "Yes, you can" knowing they can't is lying to the child. The child will learn to not trust the parent, and it teaches the child that if the parent lies, that it must be okay for them to lie as well. '

 

I think you have a great idea except for the part where you tell them they can play.

 

Gee, apparently teasing and tricks vary greatly in families.

 

I can see how this would play out in our family - all in fun and games. Right up there when DH tells the kids - sure you can have a cookie, when he just ate the last one.

 

I'm pretty sure it's all related to the dynamics of your families day to day life.....

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I'm going to channel my MIL here and say "What ever happened to the word no?"

 

Then I'm going to channel my German neighbor who said, "If you don't teach them what no means by the time they are 3, you are going to have problems for the rest of your life."

 

We don't limit media here at all. My daughter stays so busy between school other activities she's lucky if she gets to watch a 2 hour movie. If I notice she is vegging out to much, I suggest another activity or send her outside to play.

 

We play a lot of pranks here too. We don't use them as forms of discipline though.

[Danestress]

Your boys might find that funny and playful - I guess it depends on how much the want to play the game.

 

One reason I don't have things like X-Box is that I don't want the nagging and begging and rule setting. I don't want one more thing to police. I find it easier not to have it and to just let my kids knock themselves out with it when they are at their best friend's house:)

 

But to me, you are setting yourself up for more arguing, more complaining, more begging for hints. Again, unless your boys find this fun.

 

I would be more inclined to say, "You get X amount of Xbox per week, no more than X per day, and no carry over." I did that with my kids' little hand held DSs. They have a limit on what they can use, but usually they don't actually use them. Sometimes they go a whole week without even asking because they are busy.

 

Or, I might say, "4:00 - 5:00 is X box/Computer time. If we are home and not busy, you can use it during those hours. Those are the only hours you can use the X Box. Period. If we are out or busy, too bad. You don't need it daily."