Country Girl Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Dh defends his PhD dissertation next week and I want to do something special to celebrate the event but can't come up with any good ideas. He really isn't a jewelry/plaque sort of guy and I can't come up with anything else. I've thought of a surprise open house type party but am a little concerned about the guest list (who to invite who not to etc.). Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell in SC Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 We just had a nice celebratory dinner with some family immediately following. And of course everyone oozing at how proud we were!!!! We had intended to have an open house/reception type thing also but it never got planned. I wouldn't have been able to do that as a surprise, because I wouldn't have known who to invite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 What's his field? I might have better ideas if I knew that. Otherwise--subscription to a scholarly journal in his field? Have his signatory page (the one with all the advisors' signatures on it) framed? A weekend at a B&B? (I really like this idea--you guys have been through a LOT to get this accomplished, right? You BOTH should get a celebration!) Open house-type parties are great--that's what gets done around here. Usually, they just issue a blanket invite to the whole department, but you could narrow it down to sub-field if that's more manageable for you. (So, maybe not the whole Romance Languages department, but just the Spanish-American studies sub-group, say.) Families are usually invited, too. Maybe make a special point to invite his faculty advisors. I'm so excited for you and your hubby!! It's a huge milestone! (I almost wrote millstone there, but that's what MY PhD is right now. Someday it will turn into a milestone. :D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Wise Bauer Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I know this isn't just MY insecurity because several people in my department said the same thing...so here goes. The problem with scheduling a party now is that he'll go into the defense thinking: If I fail (I know, you're not supposed to think it but we ALL DO) what will I tell all those people who are coming to my house tonight? It's an extra level of pressure. I'd get a babysitter for the afternoon of the defense, go pick him up afterwards and take him out for a solo celebratory dinner, and then call around the next day and schedule a "He passed, let's party!" open house. SWB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bev in B'ville Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I know this isn't just MY insecurity because several people in my department said the same thing...so here goes. The problem with scheduling a party now is that he'll go into the defense thinking: If I fail (I know, you're not supposed to think it but we ALL DO) what will I tell all those people who are coming to my house tonight? It's an extra level of pressure. I'd get a babysitter for the afternoon of the defense, go pick him up afterwards and take him out for a solo celebratory dinner, and then call around the next day and schedule a "He passed, let's party!" open house. SWB There was enough pressure just getting through the day after a sleepless night. All I wanted to do was be with my family and have a glass or two of wine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemMommy Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 You can invite his parents along with you to dinner, but keep it simple. He'll be exhausted and on a high all at the same time and won't be able to appreciate a large party. Also, he'll be thinking (and I assume he'll pass) about that nit-picky corrections he still has to make! UGH!!!!! A bigger open-house party is nice for later. Gifts!?! Hey, I think YOU should get the gift for putting up with the dissertation agony. He gets the degree, right? Depending on his profession, he may need "work/interview" clothes or a new briefcase/computer bag. Is there a tool associated with his profession you can buy? Or is there a monograph/text/book he's always wanted in his library? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Country Girl Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 Thank you everyone for the ideas. I really think I'm leaning towards the small family gathering. All of the issues you brought up about the larger open house are the exact issues I've been wrestling with and why I haven't been able to commit to that in my own mind. We do have a little bit of a different situation since he has actually been working on his PhD long distance while working full time for the company that is sponsoring it (he is an engineer). He'll be flying home the day after the defense so the emotions will have settled a little but I still think you are all right about appreciating a smaller event more. SWB- I know you are also right about the insecurities. I *know* and he *knows* there won't be an issue but of course the doubts and "what ifs" are always there. PariSarah and ChemMommy- I agree 100% that I also need a gift:D, this was hard for me too (and the kids). I am so glad it will be over and the idea of a weekend away sounds good too. I like the idea of a new computer bag but he just got one last year. I also like the book or journal idea but I'm not sure if I know enough to pick one that would interest him. I''ll have to think about that some more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 When DH defended his dissertation, his advisor took us out for a quiet dinner. The larger celebration was at the graduation. I felt this was a healthy way to handle it--he was too tired/stressed to want a large celebration after the defense, and he's a very social person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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