Big transition week + intro - update in #9

[footballmom]

I've been a long time lurker but this is my first post.  I promise I'm not a troll :) I've really enjoyed reading the threads and wisdom on this board and have researched many curriculum choices based on feedback here. We've been homeschooling for 7 years, and my kids have never been to ps but that will change for us this week and I'm really struggling.  Recently, my middle child has been feeling very lonely and felt strongly about trying public school.  We live in a neighborhood where he plays with neighborhood kids almost every day and he plays sports year round.  The motivation surprised me, to be honest, but my oldest (who is 12) has had a lot of sleep overs and activities with his best buddy and I think that has made my middle child more lonely even though he's often around other kids.  He feels like he is missing out.  He is 10 and since he has felt so certain he wants to try school, he is going to start this week to try the last two months.  I had hs plans for him with a co-op and class in the fall, so our thinking is that these two months will give him a taste of what school is like so we can make a decision over the summer where to start in the fall and stick with it.

 

I'm just really....sad.  I'm sad about not having him around during the day, not having that part of our relationship, etc.  I don't think ps is bad, but I have really loved homeschooling my kids.  I do want to honor his wish to try school though, so here we go.  

 

My oldest said he really likes being homeschooled and plans to continue.  My youngest isn't school age yet, but I plan to homeschool when he is in K.  To be honest, I want my middle to have a positive experience with ps but I am praying he is lead back home.  I guess what I'm looking for is if anyone could share any similar experiences and how it turned out? Thank you :)

Edited May 28, 2016 by footballmom

[maize]

I'm considering sending my five year old to school next year, he was accepted into a Chinese immersion program and I really want to give it a try but I am also very conflicted. My oldest is twelve and we have all been homeschooling for years, I feel very weird even thinking about putting a child in school.

[Sara in AZ]

My son started started public school in January 2015 when he was almost 10. The school is literally around the corner from our house and I can hear the school kids out at recess. I cried the first day I took him and felt sad whenever I heard the kids out at play. But we both adjusted quickly. He thrived there, and our relationship is better than ever.

 

My daughter started this past January at age 13. Again, I cried all the way home after dropping her off that first day. I miss them both during the day, and I miss all the fun things we used to do together. But they are doing well, and I'm kind of starting over with my 5 and 7 year olds now. 😊

 

I wish you peace and courage as you make the transition!

[*****]

I think being sad is normal. My oldest daughter went off to college and that same year my youngest wanted to go to public school because all her homeschooling friends were going there. I had planned on doing more with my mom...taking her out more, visiting her, etc...but she passed away suddenly. I was not prepared for starting completely over and trying to figure out what I was to do with my life at the time.  

 

Then reality hit that this must be what it will be like when the kids cut the apron strings and leave home. Yes, it was a very tough year for me, but knowing that it was a small step in preparing me for what is to come some day made me realize all parents have to experience this sooner or later. You are grieving the loss of what you had together and that is understandable. (At least you still have your others at home, especially your youngest!)

 

I have gotten back to teaching through tutoring others. I am no longer sad about not schooling my youngest, who is in high school. It was what I did at one time, but that is ok now. I am still not sold on public school, but I go along with it. We live in a rural area, so this is our only choice.  I do pray a lot for guidance and have been able to read the Bible daily, which was something I had gotten away from. So building my faith, which is important to me, is a big part of what I am doing, I guess you could say. 

 

My youngest hasn't chosen to come back home to school, as she is my more social one. But I do think she is definitely understanding now why I chose to homeschool. Just the other day she was complaining about how monotonous it was getting with the same schedule every day...yes dear, that was why I didn't want you doing that for 13 years, because it tends to make us lose our spark for wanting to learn...yadda, yadda yadda! I hope all goes well. Maybe update us some time in the future!

[footballmom]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and sharing your experiences.  I am mourning and struggling with not burdening DS with my emotions because i really want this to be his experience.  I think I'm also struggling with knowing his expectations of what school is (i.e. he thought Social Studies was socialization time, lol) are off and worried how that will play out for him.  Big deep breath...he starts tomorrow.  I will post an update after his first few days. 

[ktgrok]

My son went back for not quite a semester, in 9th grade. He did fine, but he did decide to come back and homeschool again. I totally understand how you feel. I was glad he did well, but even more glad when he came home. 

[East Coast Sue]

Yes, it's hard. Be patient with yourself and feel free to share your victories & struggles here with the hive. Many (including myself) are traveling this path with you and I hope you find support here.

[footballmom]

Hi everyone, I know it's been a few weeks since I first posted so I'm coming back with an update :)  The good news for him is that he is enjoying school.  He knew a few kids in his class and many of the neighborhood kids before he started.   Since we were almost done with our homeschool year, he has not had any academic stress and has focused on making friends and socializing lol.  I'm still adjusting and struggling with what we are doing next year.  I dread Mondays knowing he will be gone so much of the week after having him around on the weekend days. Meanwhile, many of the moms at the bus stop are talking about how they are dreading the summer and so much together time  :crying:

 

There have been some things that have really bothered me about public school in general as well as this public school specifically, and I'm trying to decide how big this hill is because he has said he's 50/50 about wanting to go back or stay home next year.  We opted him out of one of the standardized tests because the materials they had the students use for review had some historical "editing" and that doesn't sit well with me.  

 

I'm praying throughout the day every day that the Lord will lead him home for next year because I feel that is the best environment for him. I'm seeing it through adult eyes and considering the great education, family time and overall flexibility we have homeschooling him.  He's seeing it through his eyes of feeling like he's finding his people and he hasn't had quite enough time yet at public school.  Even though he seems happy when he comes home, the fighting between him and my oldest has really escalated.   I know I'm the adult and parent so really DH and I get the final decision, but I love him more than my love of homeschooling and his heart is important to me.  Sigh....plus I feel pressure because they want teacher "input" letters by next week for next year and I have payments due in July for HS classes I had already enrolled him in for next year.

 

So, thanks again for the words of advice and experiences.  I will probably update one more time once we figure next year out.  Please pray for us all to have wisdom and discernment in making this choice!