Prayer request, family issues

[TXMomof4]

Could you please pray for my DH and his family. His grandfather died this last week. DH is gone, preparing for a deployment and this is very hard on him. On top of that, you may remember that he was supposed to have leave before he heads overseas and then wasn't going to have it. Well, it's back on. We just bought tickets last weekend and he's going to have 3 days at home before he leaves again.

 

Originally we weren't going to say anything to anyone, not even here at home. But with the death of his gp, we decided to let his family know so he could spend some time with them. His gp did not want any sort of service. He wanted to be cremated and then have a graveside service after grandmother dies for both of them. Well, now his parents want to have a memorial, in gp's hometown the weekend DH will be home.

 

Of course, he's very torn. He loved his gp desperately and is brokenhearted that he's gone. But by planning this memorial for his last weekend, 1) He'll be leaving with that pain fresh in his heart and grieving all over again. 2) It takes away any chance for a restful, quiet peaceful time spent together as family. The memorial will be 5 hours away from here so we'll spend the weekend traveling and dealing with the stress that is normal in these situations on top of his imminent departure. 3) There is NO WAY I'm going to take my kids to any sort of funeral/memorial the day before their dad leaves to go to a combat situation. They're already dealing with fears about soldiers dying, I'm not going to do anything to make that more real in their mind. (GP is a WWII vet.) I have a very dear friend who will keep the kids so we can go to the service, but that means they will be here, dad will be somewhere else for a good chunk of his leave time.

 

This has put dh in such a hard place. They have put it in the terms that "if he wants to attend the service, they can plan it for that weekend." Of course he wants to attend the service, but why would you go from nothing, to a memorial a month - against gp's wishes, when you KNOW he will be leaving for a year 2 days later??? I am so sad for dh, sad for our family, and angry that he's having to make this sort of choice.

 

Please pray that I can have peace with whatever is decided. I'm not sure how I'm going to spend time with his family now, even if they decide not to have the memorial because I'm so angry they have made it an issue. But I desperately don't want to make this harder for dh so I'm having to bite my tongue (almost clean through) to not cause any problems.

 

Thanks everyone!

[Kimberly in IN]

:grouphug: I have no words of wisdom. Our prayers go out to your family.

[mysticamethyst]

This is just my opinion, but I don't think your dh should go. He has very limited time with his family before he leaves and his gp would probably be upset that he gave up that time to go to a memorial he didn't want in the first place. He was a WWII vet, so he knew how important those last days with your family are before deployment. Your kids will want to spend time with their dad as well, and not to mention you. I hope your family can find peace with the passing of his Grandfater, and that the decision you make no matter which one brings peace to you all.:grouphug:

[Lolly]

No advice, just prayers for your family.

[Sparkle]

I'm so sorry that this extra burden had to be added right now. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. :grouphug:

[WTMindy]

Praying now!!

[Kanga]

This is just my opinion, but I don't think your dh should go. He has very limited time with his family before he leaves and his gp would probably be upset that he gave up that time to go to a memorial he didn't want in the first place. He was a WWII vet, so he knew how important those last days with your family are before deployment. Your kids will want to spend time with their dad as well, and not to mention you. I hope your family can find peace with the passing of his Grandfater, and that the decision you make no matter which one brings peace to you all.:grouphug:

 

First, :grouphug: !

 

We have been in a similiar situation and although I agree with the above poster I realize your dh has to make this situation. I will pray for your dh and that how ever he decides everybody will understand and find peace with his decision.