My periodic "need encouragement about teaching my kids" post

[Colleen in NS]

I guess it's been one of those days, no, weeks. We took a break from school for a couple of weeks, and this past week, I had a list of projects I was going to work on....things like finishing organizing memory work, studying ahead in some skill areas (desperately trying to keep ahead of my 5th grader and very FRUSTRATED about never having learned these skills before!!!!!!), making some grammar flashcards (didn't quite go the way I had hoped, in case you read my posts about that), catching up on some reading, making some date squares with my son that I promised him weeks ago, making some skirts/dresses/pants for my daughter that I promised her months ago, um, let's see what else, planning some fun outings over the next couple of months before winter settles in, and trying to give away two sets of encyclopedias (I've upgraded to two "new to me" free sets) to people who WON'T SHOW UP TO GET THEM LIKE THEY SAY THEY WILL!!

 

So - while slogging through a couple of these projects this week and feeling continually "behind," my kids were bored. Some say boredom produces creativity - well, it does sometimes here (some caves and hideouts were built in the living room with blankets), and sometimes it produces more boredom, which produces.....I'll spare you the in-between details....a discouraged Mom and kids. I'll be glad to get back to a "school" routine on Monday, but what about all those undone projects???

 

Tonight, I am wondering what ever made me think I could teach my kids. Will I get through 5th grade grammar, and will I get through Latin, and math, and will I be able to figure out the seeming myriads of details involved in teaching writing? I mean, I've been looking at this stuff for years, and theoretically, I believe I can do it. I just don't know if I can do it plus run my life and my family's life!!!! You know, things like cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, organizing chores, dishes, bookkeeping, relating to people, perhaps knitting or card-making like I used to do?

 

Who out there KWIM?

 

I'll check back tomorrow, I really need some sleep. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh honey, I do understand! I am almost done with my daughter's blinds. I started them when she was a newborn - she's 6 1/2 now. . . The schoolwork- I've started to think of this as a marathon and not a sprint. It helps. The kids are learning even if it isn't as stream-lined and organized as we'd like it to be.

[Peela]

Hi Colleen,

I have watched you research and learn and try so hard to do your homeschooling job as best as you can. You are incredibly dedicated. I do wonder if perhaps you need to relax, cut yourself some slack, make sure you are all enjoying the journey? I find when I try too hard, there will necessarily be a consequence of a period of inertia, of not being able to live up to my own ideals. It's natural balance.

Now, since you dont know your kids' 5th grade grammar, and you are an intelligent women, maybe you should get things in perspective- that grammar is not the be all and end all of your kids' childhood or their education, and getting it perfect in year 5 is not really worth losing sleep over, KWIM?

As Jean says, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Dont give yourself a hard time for being human an for not getting it all done right now. Holidays are not for working in! I also have tended to give myself lots of tasks for breaks- I have found it doesnt work so well for me, and I am learning to try and fit in planning and preparing ahead more during the previous term, so that I am truly able to have a break. Because somehow during holidays my brain switches off, and I get out of the mode of school.

I suggest you remember that life is short and its more important to enjoy your kids, play with them, take them somewhere different every now and then, and remember to have fun. Childhood slips away all too fast.

[mazakaal]

I know exactly what you mean. I go through the same thing periodically. Homeschooling is really hard work, especially when you add it to all the other things that we have to do as a mom and wife. This year I've changed some of my curriculum choices to make things a bit easier for me. Though I love the things written in WTM, I find that they are beyond me in some ways. With the way my life is right now, I can do better homeschooling if someone else does some of the planning and organizing for me. I've switched to Sonlight for history and Apologia for science. They require very little of my time for prep work. In addition, I switched from R&S grammar to Easy Grammar. It only takes a few minutes for me to go over the lesson and he does the rest on his own. I don't have to spend 20 minutes or more every day with him going through the exercises orally. It's great! You may not want to make the same choices that I have, but there are other programs that are not so time intensive as the some of the WTM recs. Hope you can find something that works for you.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I've switched to Sonlight for history and Apologia for science.

Ah!Ah! So did I! it does help some, but I do find myself in complete doubts this year, as to whether or not we're doing the right thing with homeschooling. My son needs to be pushed constantly to get *anything* out of him. He refuses to do any work. He learns very easily, but will not give me any written work, or any project at all. I'm getting discouraged.

[JennW in SoCal]

Peela's post is full of profound wisdom.

 

Colleen, your kids are very young still. I remember thinking that 5th grade was an important year, a time to get so very serious about everything because it was really starting to matter. When my oldest was in 5th I had a friend with a high school student who kept telling me to relax and not to start pushing or worrying until 8th grade. I thought she was nuts! But I have to say now, with my youngest in 8th, there is merit in what she says. It doesn't mean you just slack off and do nothing in the mean time, but it means that, as Peela has said, perfecting 5th grade grammar lessons just isn't worth fretting about. Mastering Latin isn't critical at this point either.

 

What is important is a slow but study progress. Keep chipping away at those skills but realize that those same skills will be introduced again and again over the years, and that each time they are re-introduced they sink a little further into your kid's minds and even into our aging and addled heads! I, for instance, just had a "doh" moment this week with the genitive case in Latin -- what befuddled me last year suddenly is so glaringly obvious.

 

Just keep reading together and learning together. I think lots of moms stress out because they think they need to be an "expert teacher", that they have to master all the material ahead of time. There is nothing wrong in learning right along side your kids, of not knowing the answer. You are modeling what it is to be a good student, of knowing how to learn, and that is, in the long run, really important.

 

I've been thinking about your worries about writing and wanted to make a comment. Clearly you are able to write coherently in spite of the holes you feel you have in your own education. I'm sure your kids will also be able to write well even if you only ever get to a fraction of what you have planned for them! I think part of successful homeschooling is taking a leap of faith that our kids will learn and thrive in spite of our efforts. You just have to assume that they will turn out fine, trust them to learn, have confidence in your own skills -- that they are skills worth modeling.

 

Oh, and my friend who said to not worry until 8th grade? Her daughter got into Princeton and was accepted to at least 4 other top notch schools. You can do it too, Colleen!

[8filltheheart]

DS10, DD7

 

Math: R&S

Grammar/Writing: R&S, FLL, WTM recs - writing skills

Reading/Spelling: WRTR

Vocabulary: VFCR A to E

History/Literature: WTM recs - ancient

Science: WTM recs - life sciences

Foreign Language: LC 2, Learnables Spanish 1

Logic: Mind Benders A

Art: Drawing With Children, Usborne books, looking at ancient art

Music: Bastien piano, listening to music and reading about composers and the orchestra

 

 

Colleen,

 

I agree with Peela. You have researched a lot. You have high standards. You are not going to fail your kids.

 

But......you do have to find a balance between school and life. If you let homeschooling take over your life, it is not good for anyone. Your kids are young. You should still have plenty of time in your day to do all of the things you have listed.....sewing, projects with your kids, projects around your house, etc.

 

I would recommend one of 2 approaches.....re-evaluate your objectives vs. actual academic needs or merge a lot of the topics you have listed to overlap (or possibly a combination of the 2)

 

Looking at what you have listed.....this is how things would go at our house (definitely not saying this is the only way!!! just wanting to give you an idea of what I would do......)

 

I would drop Spanish and logic.

 

I would do science and history with both kids together. No more than 15-20 mins on each topic. I would give each of the kids an additional reading assignment. The 5th grader about 45 mins. The 7 yr old I can't say b/c I don't her reading level......anywhere from 15-30 mins I would guess.

 

I would get rid of the vocabulary book and have the kids create their own dictionaries from words pulled from history, science, or reading that they don't know. About 5-10 words a week. I can usually pick out words quickly from a quick scan of pages.

 

Math I would leave alone.

 

Language arts......seems like this is your biggest source of stress. I would definitely drop the stress. There is no reason to worry about what they don't know. It is far more productive to focus on what they do. Textbooks are really rather useless when it comes to teaching kids where they are. And that is your reality......where your child is. That is the only goal I would have.

 

For example.....does you child know how to write a complete sentence? Does he know what creates a complete thought? If the answer is yes.....move to the next step in writing. If he doesn't.....there is no point working on a paragraph if he doesn't know that sentences need a subject and a verb.

 

If you are moving forward.....does the child know what makes a paragraph? Can he write a topic sentence and supporting details w/o including superfluous information? If he can't....work on those skills. Don't worry about other writing skills until he has mastered the fundamentals of a paragraph.

 

Once he has that.....don't worry about multi-paragraph writing. Work on improving paragraphs. Can he write using active verbs vs passive? Various sentence structures? Stay in a single verb tense? etc. Only after he has learned to write single paragraphs well would I move forward. My kids work and re-work a single paragraph over the course of a week. My goal in elementary school isn't how much is written but how well it is written.

 

I would take topics that your ds is really enjoying from your studies and use those for his writing. For example....say you are reading about the Trojan War, I would choose topics from weaponry, ship construction or sailing, mythology, or specific Greek cultures like the Spartans, etc.

 

If he needs paragraph work, I would narrow the topic to the very specific topic you want discussed. If he is ready to move to a 3 paragraph paper, I would give the broader (but still narrowed within that context) assignment.

 

I am simply trying to share that there is no point in stressing about now about the goals that are 2 steps beyond where he is. Focus on his currents strengths and weaknesses and move forward from there.

 

The grammar parts.....I would again only work on one topic until it is mastered and incorporated into his writing (for example strong verbs) before I would worry about something else.

 

My lunch break is over and I have to get back to helping dh outside. I haven't had a chance to even read what I wrote, so I hope it makes some sense. :tongue_smilie:

 

HTH

[Colleen in NS]

Oh honey, I do understand! I am almost done with my daughter's blinds. I started them when she was a newborn - she's 6 1/2 now

 

This made me laugh! It really cheered me up. Marathon.....yes, I've been realizing that in the past 6 months or so. Thank you for coming alongside me in this stretch!

 

I do wonder if perhaps you need to relax, cut yourself some slack, make sure you are all enjoying the journey? I find when I try too hard, there will necessarily be a consequence of a period of inertia, of not being able to live up to my own ideals.

 

Yup, that's where I'm at. So, I'm taking my son out this evening to an event I think he might enjoy. No use sitting around looking at the undone projects anymore, I can't get the energy up to do them right now.

 

I think of you often - I like how you seem to really enjoy life and your family and learning together.

 

I know exactly what you mean. I go through the same thing periodically. Homeschooling is really hard work, especially when you add it to all the other things that we have to do as a mom and wife. This year I've changed some of my curriculum choices to make things a bit easier for me.

 

Hope you can find something that works for you.

 

Thanks for commiserating! I'm pretty happy with what we use, just continually needing to tweak and evaluate how to use them efficiently. And needing to get more sleep at night, and to read for fun every so often!

 

Ah!Ah! So did I! it does help some, but I do find myself in complete doubts this year, as to whether or not we're doing the right thing with homeschooling. My son needs to be pushed constantly to get *anything* out of him. He refuses to do any work. He learns very easily, but will not give me any written work, or any project at all. I'm getting discouraged.

 

Cleo, I find this so helpful, esp. since I met you IRL!! Not that I'm glad you are struggling with your son, no way, but that you're a mother who usually seems to me to be confident overall in homeschooling, and are just having a glitch right now and you're here sharing about that. Thanks for piping up. Hang in there, he's a good kid! :)

 

I remember thinking that 5th grade was an important year, a time to get so very serious about everything because it was really starting to matter.

 

What is important is a slow but study progress. Keep chipping away at those skills but realize that those same skills will be introduced again and again over the years

 

Just keep reading together and learning together. I think lots of moms stress out because they think they need to be an "expert teacher", that they have to master all the material ahead of time. There is nothing wrong in learning right along side your kids, of not knowing the answer. You are modeling what it is to be a good student, of knowing how to learn, and that is, in the long run, really important.

 

I've been thinking about your worries about writing and wanted to make a comment. Clearly you are able to write coherently in spite of the holes you feel you have in your own education. I'm sure your kids will also be able to write well even if you only ever get to a fraction of what you have planned for them!

 

You can do it too, Colleen!

 

Jenn, before I forget, we are going to see Natalie MacMaster at Symphony Nova Scotia in November!!! $6 tickets through a homeschool Mom who gets discounts for homeschoolers. Whoohooooo!!!!!! Maybe we'll get to properly meet her this time, instead of not realizing, until was too late, that I was standing with her in the airport lineup, LOL!!!

 

I guess I wasn't so much thinking that 5th grade was an All Important Year, it's just that some skills start to change, and a year ago I had no idea how to implement these new skills or how they fit with what we'd already been doing or where they would point us to next. So I went on my research jag. It makes me feel better to have a fairly good idea of how, say, writing skills or grammar skills or Latin skills build on each other. I don't mind being just a week or so ahead of my oldest (though it would be nice to get much further, but I don't think that's gonna happen!), but I do mind not being able to see the big picture. So, I think it's been a journey of just trying to figure out the bigger picture of each of those things.

 

I spent some time this week going through the R&S 3 and 4 English books and putting rules etc. on flashcards. I had to re-word some things. My idea was to use these to help my kids memorize them more easily. I don't know now if I will use them the way I thought (so I feel kind of silly for posting about them, but oh well), but, I found that going through the books and rewording some of the "remember" boxes helped *me* to understand some things better. I feel better able to carry on alongside the oldest dc. And I have a better idea of the grammar and writing tools that were in them (I guess I zoned out while teaching those books??) so I can have them in mind when helping dc write up a narration or whatever.

 

As an aside, a couple of nights ago, ds decided he wanted to write an essay for a Lego contest. This is my child who has hated writing (very common, I know, here on the boards). Since I was so surprised, I asked if he wanted my help with composing. So we sat at the computer (I typed), and I kept the simple writing tools in mind that I'd just refreshed myself on from R&S 3 and 4, and asked him questions while he composed sentences into a paragraph. Then a second paragraph - never been done before here!!!! When we were done, he uncharacteristically thanked me for helping him. "Mom, thanks for your help! I would never have thought to write those things, but your questions helped me think of them!" I wish I'd had a secret tape recorder on somewhere, LOL! Anyway, THIS is why I want to see the big picture.

 

Thank you for all your kind words.

 

You should still have plenty of time in your day to do all of the things you have listed.....sewing, projects with your kids, projects around your house, etc.

 

I would recommend one of 2 approaches.....re-evaluate your objectives vs. actual academic needs or merge a lot of the topics you have listed to overlap (or possibly a combination of the 2)

 

I would drop Spanish and logic.

 

I would get rid of the vocabulary book

 

Language arts......seems like this is your biggest source of stress.

 

There is no reason to worry about what they don't know.

 

Textbooks are really rather useless when it comes to teaching kids where they are.

 

Thank you for your encouragement that there should still be time in the day for fun stuff. I agree. I basically do a lot of the things you mentioned - combine writing with content, have chunks of free time for the kids, continually reassessing priorities (logic stays, it takes 10 min. a week and ds loves it, vocab stays, it's an efficient roots program that ds will work on and apply in his reading/writing a bit at a time over four years or so, Spanish may drop to the "fun in free time if you want" category).

 

Yes, the language skills HAVE been a source of stress, because I have never, ever before I read TWTM understood that they all work together, nevermind HOW they work together. It has been a mountain I've been willing to climb, but I have to stop a lot along the way and figure out yet something else I never knew and how it fits. And, it doesn't work for me to just have one thing in front of me to teach, because I'll be wondering, "what's the next thing I need to know? Cuz I need to know how this thing I'm teaching now merges into the next thing." That's why I've worked so hard on figuring out a bigger picture. I don't worry about what skills dc don't know, I worry about what skills *I* don't know, because I want to know so I can teach them efficiently without causing frustration (BTDT already - it doesn't work here).

 

To be very open, we don't have the income to outsource teaching or buy more expensive programs like I see a lot of people doing - so I've become a very DIY person in many areas - and I've come to like it (though I get overwhelmed at times, thus my post). You know all those questions you asked about what ds can do in writing? A year ago, I wouldn't have known what you were talking about, or, I'd be wondering, "OK, I can do that with dc, but what next and why?" It's just how I am - I need to see the big picture. So, the textbooks and other sources I've used have been extremely useful to me, in helping me piece the puzzle together in my mind.

 

It was funny to me to see that you quoted my signature list, after all the posts yesterday about sig lists! I put it in my sig after reading a few months ago how people *liked* seeing those.

 

Anyway, it's nice once again to be able to come here and know that there will be others out there in the same boat, or to get encouragement. Thank you all!

 

And on a different note, I just won a bid for Composition in the Classical Tradition on ebay for $31!!!!!!! whooohooooo!