Have you become more blunt as you've gotten older?

[Aloha2U]

Jessica, I almost started a similar thread until I saw yours... although mine would have read "Are You a Conversation Killer?"

 

I just want to tell you that you are not alone. I find that I often pray before going into a group situation and ask the Lord to guide my heart and tongue so as not to be too blunt or come off as being cold-hearted and unkind. I also have a tendency of giving too much information that was not asked for, so I try to keep myself from giving too many details.

 

Truth be told... I don't think I've ever read a post of yours wherein you came across as unforgiving or uncaring... or turned me off because of your bluntness... that sounds more like me. As others have stated on this forum, you are quite an inspiration to many!

 

May God Bless You and Your Family!

 

Melissa

[Slartibartfast]

I don't get why she was mad about the TV thing?

 

it would be one thing if her child has special needs where there was much different expectations of needs and how to fulfill those needs. But a regular kid throwing a tantrum about tv??

[Mom to Aly]

Nah, don't think I could get anymore blunt! Well, maybe a bit less diplomatic. That's all.

[unsinkable]

My MIL is a counselor, and this is exactly what she says people should do...you're supposed to just keep saying "Excuse me?" and letting them say it louder, until they realize they sound like an a** and quit doing it.

 

I think she must have taught my aunt this technique! My aunt taught it to me tho' I haven't the courage to use it!

[Jenny in Atl]

IRL I've actually learned to be more quiet and not speak my mind as freely. So I guess I'm less blunt. I've learned that if I give someone a little time, they may surprise me. Usually not, but I have had a few. I often try hold my tongue with great hope! ;)

[Linda...inOwasso]

Ditto Jenny. I've become less abrasive with my tongue than I was in my youth. I never set out to hurt other's feelings, but I used to state my thoughts in a matter-of-fact manner. My close friends didn't mind, because they knew my heart, but I'm sure there were those who didn't appreciate my directness.

 

The truth is that most of the time I just don't care to engage anymore. I've learned to smile, let others "be wrong" and go on my merry way. There are still a few hot buttons that will draw a quick response from me such as: racial slurs, any type of cruelty to children or animals, and such.... but for the most part, I just allow people to be wrong. :)

[KidsHappen]

I already knew every thing at 14 and I felt that it was my job to enlighten the rest of the world to the error of their ways. I was informed that I was perceived as a b*tch. A true friend pulled me aside and asked me why I had to argue with everyone about everything. My answer of course, was because they were wrong. SHe contered, "So what?" I began to work on my bluntness and arguing. But I eventually ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship in which I became a serious conflict avoider. My current dh pointed out that issues can not be resolved if they are never talked about. So I have finally come to a place where I only speak up when it is important to do so. Otherwise I just let it go. I rarely feel the need to voice my disagreement with people. I don't care what Joe Blow thinks, and to tell you the truth he probably doesn't care what I think either. There are a few issues that I feel passionately about and I will state my opinion about those but I try to do so in a kind, tactful and gracious way. I am also willing to agree to disagree. I like where I am now.

[Amy in Orlando]

I was 22 until it even occurred to me that I was opinionated - how sad is that? It simply never entered my mind that others might see thing differently. Gah. As I get older, I get more quiet. On the controversial subjects, there is little I can say that might change anyone's mind. But, I find as I say less, observe more, I find myself coming home feeling a bit beat up and hurt. But that's just me being wimpy.

 

I take heart when I can see my older sons debating their thoughts with my parents, my sibliings and even our neighbors. They're respectful, they don't take opposing views as personal attacks. So progress is being made generation by generation.