mom@shiloh Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 People are certainly free to do as they wish with their own weddings and I am not offended if children aren't invited. However, my personal opinion is that they're missing the point. As someone who came from a large family and who has a large family, I think that celebrations should be family centered. My .02. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhanaBee Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 When dh and I got married, none of our friends had kids yet, so it didn't occur to us to say yea or nay to children at the wedding. Dh's cousin brought his toddler who was.....a toddler. But we had an late afternoon wedding with finger food at the reception. It was pretty low-key, so a screaming toddler on the dance floor kind of added to the ambiance. When my brother got married, ALL of their close friends had young children. They were having a more formal wedding and did specify that children were not encouraged. The exceptions being my two girls and my sil's young brother. Her brother and my oldest were flower girl and ring bearer and were really well behaved [since my mother put the fear of God into both of them]. My other child was only 7 months old, so we asked a friend of mine to watch her in the church nursery, bring her over for family pictures and be in charge of her at the reception. Since I was also a bridesmaid, that worked the best for all of us. A few children did show up to the wedding and my sil gave them the option of paying my friend to have their children watched during the service {it was really really really long - 2 hours. Hence the reason sil discouraged young children} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 We leave the kids home with grandma for weddings unless we have to travel. I don't ever notice if there's kids around or not. If we could do it all over again, we would have had a no-guest wedding. :-) Ha. Dh and I did this. Our parents and our children only. It was awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Ha. Dh and I did this. Our parents and our children only. It was awesome. I would have left parents out too. Just a random clerk or something as witness. And possibly not told anyone we were married unless they asked. And then moved to an island in the middle of nowhere, changed our identities... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I have a cousin who lives in Denmark. She married her husband on her lunch hour. They then went on to have 3 kids. At that point her mom said, "I'm not trying to pressure you, but isn't it time to get married". My cousin said, "We are. Did I forget to tell you. Sorry". Ok, she beats me. DH at least took the day off of work :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Depends on the closeness of our relationship to the bride/groom. It didn't bother me that my cousins, who live 6 hours a way and I haven't seen in at least 10 years, didn't invite our kids to their weddings. It did bother me that my mother pouted about our not traveling that far and hiring a stranger to stay with the kids at the hotel. Not happening. If one of my sisters tried to exclude my children, I'd be ticked. They wouldn't, though. In general, I prefer to attend events like weddings sans kiddos; it just makes it easier on me. Not that we go to very many formal events. If a couple prefers not to invite children, I do wish they would be blunt about it on the invitation. I know you're supposedly able to tell by whether it's addressed to the couple or the entire family, but I've not found that to be an entirely accurate indicator. Another of my pet peeves: People who treat grown adults as children on an invitation. Another of my cousins invited my sister to his wedding on MY PARENTS' invitation! She's 30, lives two states away, and is a successful attorney. Just because she isn't married herself doesn't make her a child. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 No, does not bother me. Often, I'm relieved! What does that say about me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Depends on the closeness of our relationship to the bride/groom. It didn't bother me that my cousins, who live 6 hours a way and I haven't seen in at least 10 years, didn't invite our kids to their weddings. It did bother me that my mother pouted about our not traveling that far and hiring a stranger to stay with the kids at the hotel. Not happening. If one of my sisters tried to exclude my children, I'd be ticked. They wouldn't, though. In general, I prefer to attend events like weddings sans kiddos; it just makes it easier on me. Not that we go to very many formal events. If a couple prefers not to invite children, I do wish they would be blunt about it on the invitation. I know you're supposedly able to tell by whether it's addressed to the couple or the entire family, but I've not found that to be an entirely accurate indicator. Another of my pet peeves: People who treat grown adults as children on an invitation. Another of my cousins invited my sister to his wedding on MY PARENTS' invitation! She's 30, lives two states away, and is a successful attorney. Just because she isn't married herself doesn't make her a child. :rolleyes: Oh I totally agree. Like someone said, an invitation is not a summons or a court order. A gracious decline of an invite is always fine. Your mother is being weird. And the fact that they invited you might just be because one of the parents said, oh jeez, we MUST invite all the first cousins you know! I'm sure they're not crushed you can't make it. I haven't had situations where it wasn't clear on the invitation. Either to Mr. and Mrs. Bob Jones or to The Jones Family. I thought I was very clear on our invitations and still a couple people brought kids that were not invited that I didn't even know. (We did have SOME kids at our wedding) Throwing an adult offspring on a parental invitation is pretty obnoxious! That happened to me a couple times in my 20's (I married at 29). And I was living alone and professionally employed at the time. How hard is it to collect an address list? If you don't care enough to get someone's address, maybe you shouldn't invite them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maplecat Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 It doesn't bother me if kids are included or excluded from weddings. On the other hand, I was pretty offended when my husband's grandmother threw a casual surprise 60th birthday party for my mother-in-law. I love my mother-in-law and wanted to share in the surprise. My husband's grandmother is a piece of work. Grandma specifically went out of her way to tell me that kids were not invited. My youngest was a nursling and all of my babysitters were also invited to the party. My husband went without me for a brief appearance which is what I think his grandmother wanted all along. The petty side of me has thought about instituting an age cap for my family's future parties. If there is a bounce house involved, it would be too dangerous for grandma to come after her hip replacement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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