Tell me how rude would it be...

[violamama]

Nope, not rude. Thoughtful, even.

 

FWIW, I secretly bring Power Bars or LaraBars to my inlaws house now. I have severe nut allergies and milder stone fruit allergies and am a fish-eating vegetarian (which I own as a form of pickiness, not at all dictated by concern for my health). My ILs have in the past had a hard time remembering to offer something I can eat and I wouldn't want them to go out of their way in a holiday situation anyway. So I pick at a salad and a roll or whatever and know that I certainly won't starve. 

 

At least no one there is pressuring you to "just try" stuff. And the chair thing seems to have been unintentional. 

[kiwik]

I take stuff for ds7. Luckily though gluten upsets is bowels he seems OK with traces (tested negative probably IBS among other things). I did take a birthday cake once that the kids liked better than the adult type official cake - I won't do that again and nor should you. Otherwise though supply your own food similar to what is being served.

 

Taking alligator stuffed chicken though and exoecting your hostess to cook it dies seem rude though.

[MrsJewelsRae]

My family is used to this. My step mom and one of my sisters are vegan and gluten/corn free, they usually bring all of their own food to gatherings. My youngest son has anaphylactic food allergies, immediate family gatherings are usually safe- we have an absolutely no peanuts rule for any food. For extended family gatherings or when visiting people, I usislly bring him safe food along with us, it's much easier and less stressful than grilling the cook on what she prepared, or feeling anxious. We do have to leave sometimes, for his safety. It is so awkward for me, I hate to make people feel badly. Last year at a New Year's Eve party I had to leave quickly with my youngest. Our church is really good about having events peanut free for my little guy, but several families from another church joined the party and the hostess did not warn them not to bring peanuts. 2 dozen little kids running around in that house, playing with a big bin of toys, eating everywhere on the go off paper plates, etc. Someone brought a few peanut butter desserts, my 5 year old simply cannot be playing in the same toy bin as a child who is mowing down a peanut butter cookie as he plays- it could literally kill him. We've had a few instances like this and it is honestly terrifying. So sometimes we have to leave in a hurry to keep him safe, whe people question is later about a fast exit, they often will either not invite is next time or most often be more careful to tell all guests no peanuts.

[shawthorne44]

I don't think it is rude.  In fact, I was on the hostess side and I appreciated it.  BIL is on a diet, I think low carb.  Which normally wouldn't be a problem.  But, I was serving lasagna.  MIL brought a sausage ring and asked me to pop it in the oven with the lasagna.   

[Mom-ninja.]

I have celiac, and frankly I don't don't care if anyone thinks I'm being rude. I know I'm not being rude. I do what I *have* to do to stay healthy. I do not eat anywhere ever except my mom's house, and even there I'm hyper vigilant. I won't even walk into the kitchen at my in-laws because I swear I think they throw flour into the air. That kitchen/dining room is a celiac's nightmare.

 

We actually try to avoid holiday meals because it is too stressful for me. Even when I take my own food, plate, utensils and such I still have to worry about none of it getting contaminated. I mean, the microwave is filled with crumbs, there's no place on the table to set my plate or fork, bread is being passed around, etc. I turn into an anxious, stressed out mess. Plus, there's always someone who has to make a comment. I bite my tongue and secretly tell them to kiss my @ss.  

 

We make our own holiday dinner, ate at home, and show up at their house after they have eaten. Once their dinner was later than they told us so we just went for a walk while they ate. Awkward? Yes. However, that's what one has to do when gluten is everywhere and the chances are too high for getting sick. 

 

Oh, and I've invited them to my house for holidays meals. They decline cause a gluten free meal is not something they are interested in.