Just for fun, What thing(s) have you said that you never thought you'd hear yourself saying when becoming a parent

[creekland]

When your Sunday School teacher asks you what you did yesterday, she didn't really want a step by step account of killing and cleaning chickens.  Just saying we butchered chickens would have been plenty. It really isn't nice to make the other kids turn green.  (said when youngest was about 4 or 5)

[Violet Crown]

"Here, throw up in my hand."

 

Middle Girl: "We can't come, John and me are tying up up James."

Me: "John and I are tying up James."

[ByGrace3]

"No handstands on the stairs!"

 

"Don't get blood on the equipment"-- said multiple times at gymnastics...

 

"Don't write on the table unless it is for school!"

[elegantlion]

"Good evening" said to my son when he gets up for the day. Yeah, he's a night owl. 

[Desert Strawberry]

Lately, it has been "we DON'T argue with three year olds"

 

3yoDD is in a stage where she will tell 5yoDS anything in order to make him mad. And he is in a stage where he MUST correct her.

For example:

DD: Titus! I am 7 years old.

DS: No you're not!!! You are three.

DD: Yes I am. And my name is mud.

DS: NOOO!! Your name is June and you are three!

DD: Nuh-uh. The sky is purple.

DS: JUNE!!! It is not!

Me: Titus, do we argue with three year olds?

DS: No...

 

This happens like twelve times a day.

So much of this, but it's my 8yo who can't let the 3yo be wrong. He's not being intentionally obtuse. He's just being 3. But good heavens, the world won't fall off it's access if he says something he doesn't really understand.