Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

Just for fun, What thing(s) have you said that you never thought you'd hear yourself saying when becoming a parent

nukeswife

By nukeswife,
in The Chat Board

 Share

Recommended Posts

nukeswife

nukeswife

Posted
Posted

Yesterday we got a UPS delivery, which is pretty normal for us.  We usually get 2-3 things a week via UPS.  I went out to get the box and it was about 8"x8"x48" and I was all   :confused1:  "what the heck did I order"  then I noticed it was actually for my 15 year old son and realized what it was, which led to the the thing I never thought I'd say....

 

"Everett, your new sword is here" 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
UncleEJ

UncleEJ

Posted
Posted

Lately, it has been "we DON'T argue with three year olds"

 

3yoDD is in a stage where she will tell 5yoDS anything in order to make him mad. And he is in a stage where he MUST correct her.

For example:

DD: Titus! I am 7 years old.

DS: No you're not!!! You are three.

DD: Yes I am. And my name is mud.

DS: NOOO!! Your name is June and you are three!

DD: Nuh-uh. The sky is purple.

DS: JUNE!!! It is not!

Me: Titus, do we argue with three year olds?

DS: No...

 

This happens like twelve times a day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
OneStepAtATime

OneStepAtATime

Posted
Posted

:lol:

 

O.k. here's one.  "___________, please stop reading about the Pelopponesian wars NOW and come to dinner!"

 

or a few weeks ago, after sitting through 2 hours of a documentary on WWI, me to DS "I know you are really excited about this but can we please wait to watch the last hour until tomorrow?  I really want to go outside!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
*Lulu*

*Lulu*

Posted
Posted

Don't put m&ms up your nose

Don't take off your pants at church (said to Bug at age 4)

Don't lasso the dog

Don't lasso your sister

 

Two of my favorite conversations with (about age 7) Punk:

 

Me: don't bite your sister

Punk: but mom, I'm a carnivore!

 

 

Me: why did your dinosaur bite your sister?

Punk: mom, there is no way this dinosaur bit her.

Me: okay. I know it is just a toy. Why did YOU make it bite her?

Punk: this dinosaur is being unfairly accused. He would never bite anyone. He is an herbivore.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Karen in CO

Karen in CO

Posted
Posted

Wipe the blood off your cello when you're finished practicing.

 

Haven't you done enough math today?

 

Put some pants on.

You must wear pants when you cook.

You can't go outside without pants.

Underwear are not the same as pants.

 

No, you can't do your homework in Futhark.

Not in Phoenician either.

No, I don't need you to write my grocery list in the alphabet you are inventing.

No, not in Klingon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
fairfarmhand

fairfarmhand

Posted
Posted

Don't lick your sister.

Don't lick your sister's pillow

Don't lick the dog.......

Don't lick the toilet, especially not in WALMART!

 

No blowing bubbles in toilets with straws.

 

You stink. GO GET IN THE SHOWER RIGHT NOW!

to the same kid not a year later: GET OUT OF THE SHOWER RIGHT NOW! 4 OTHER PEOPLE NEED HOT WATER TOO!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JumpyTheFrog

JumpyTheFrog

Posted
Posted

Stop licking your brother.

Did you try to draw a tatoo on your brother's butt?

Holding your penis harder does not make the pee come out faster.

A can of pineapple is not an adequate breakfast.

It doesn't hurt because I haven't even touched it yet.

You can't handle owning a booklight or flashlight because you won't get enough sleep.

Here, pee in this bottle.

Don't wipe boogers on the car door.

Stop crawling into the dryer.

Close the door! (About ten billion times.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mom-ninja.

Mom-ninja.

Posted
Posted

Do not shove the shampoo bottle on your brother's penis. (It was one of the travel size bottles that the 5 yr old shoved onto 2 yr old's penis. Yes, it got stuck. Yes, he cried.) 

 

Do not put your penis in the nut hole. (We had a wooden tool set with wooden nuts and bolts. 2 yr old decided to adorn his penis with one. Yep, got stuck. Yep, splinter. Yep,  splinter....there)

 

You are not a cat. You poop in the toilet, NOT the litter box.

 

If you make Mommy brownies, you can skip math. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dory

Dory

Posted
Posted

Don't put your brother on the roof!

 

Don't launch your brother with the bean bag chair! (I never knew those things were so dangerous before having boys)

 

Please stop tying your stuffed minion to the ceiling fan. You're gonna break it.

 

I am not scoring a sentence you wrote in binary code. Try again in cursive.

 

We forgot to lock the door last night. ______'s pajama pants are outside again. (he keeps sleepwalking and peeing outside)

 

Don't pee in the stuffed toys! (although the poor kid was sleepwalking so me yelling wasn't very nice)

 

Don't pee on the couch! (same kid)

 

Don't pee on visitors tires! You aren't a dog.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
*Lulu*

*Lulu*

Posted
Posted

No, your sister's penis did not fall off.

 

 

This has got to set a record for WTM posts with the word "penis" in them.

The best "penis" conversation I ever had was when Punk was 3 and potty training. When DH was home they would go potty together.

 

Punk: did you know daddy has a penis?

Me: yes, I did.

Punk: did you know that it is just like mine but bigger? (Includes hand motioning of size)

Me: (trying not to laugh) I did know that.

Punk: mom......how do you know so much about daddy's penis?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
*Lulu*

*Lulu*

Posted
Posted

Seems it is our sons who provide most of the quotable moment opportunities....

Maybe it is because we are less prepared for what they come up with?

 

Sister has had some doozies, but non were outside of my experience. I didn't grow up with brothers so the boys tend to hit me from not just "left field" but from "I didn't even know that field existed"!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Reflections

Reflections

Posted
Posted

"You may not have any more carrots until you have finished your pizza."

 

Said when ds was probably 18 months old and would eat nothing but cooked carrots if allowed. 

 

Me to the 4yo:  Stop eating all those carrots, you'll ruin your appetite for dinner!  Said to my 4yo who will eat a whole large bag of baby carrots in one sitting, if allowed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jewellsmommy

jewellsmommy

Posted
Posted

Get the ferret out of the oven.

 

 

and my new favorite...Hey! Stop blowing and sucking that mouse!

 

Ds had his mouse in an empty wrapping paper tube. He and his friend were blowing and sucking to get the mouse to move to their end of the tube. I was totally aghast...utterly shocked! :scared: poor mouse.

 

 

Oh, and ...Stop barking at the hot dogs. said to dd in the grocery store.

At moments like this, dh usually steps a few feet away and says, "boy, I bet that kid's parents are embarrassed." :huh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Carrie12345

Carrie12345

Posted
Posted

"Only children who stay on topic get to do math upside down." As dd is doing a headstand on the couch and starting to chatter between answering math questions.

 

 

I've had to say this one many times!

 

To add to the penis category: "I promise, if you leave it alone for a little while, it won't go anywhere!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mimm

Mimm

Posted
Posted

"I know it was you that wrote on the wall. You wrote your name. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure this out."

 

"Your sister did not bite herself on the middle of her back."

 

 

Around here we have random disturbing things people say in the context of video games:

 

"Everyone wants to be the serial killer."

 

"Drink this and you won't die."

 

"Hold on, I've almost wiped out humanity."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mimm

Mimm

Posted
Posted

The best "penis" conversation I ever had was when Punk was 3 and potty training. When DH was home they would go potty together.

 

Punk: did you know daddy has a penis?

Me: yes, I did.

Punk: did you know that it is just like mine but bigger? (Includes hand motioning of size)

Me: (trying not to laugh) I did know that.

Punk: mom......how do you know so much about daddy's penis?

 

This made me laugh so hard. That's a whole nother conversation isn't it? ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...