Can we have a heart to heart about homeschooling HS?

[AppleGreen]

We are hitting the halfway point of the year and I am (always!) looking ahead to the next year, but as I look ahead to next year I will have a (gulp) high schooler. I have always intended to homeschool high school, but as I am looking at actually doing it, I have some concerns. My concerns center around the how with a large family. How will I meet my high schooler's needs, as well as my first grader's? It seems most people expect their hser to be largely independent, but that does not mesh with my education philosophy, nor what I really want for my child. My child needs a lot of interaction at various points through the day. He is a bit scattered and disorganized, so he needs a lot of scaffolding to be successful and often my younger kids get the short end of the deal because he needs a lot of attention. Really it is my little guy that gets the short end, I am very diligent and mindful of educating the middle two, but what happens next year when we are really tackling reading with the littlest learner and it is four kids in the mix!?

 

We did give school a try this year, but it wasn't a great fit for the amount of time I was spending in the car. He was academically prepared and able to keep up, but said he definitely learned more at home. He has a strong desire to continue homeschooling. He works very hard, so it isn't that he is unmotivated or unwilling to work hard, it really is more of an issue with me. He is taking an on-line class, but says that is not his preferred modality of learning, so I am not sure that is a great fit for more than one or two classes.

 

How do you provide a quality high school education, while still honoring and allowing your younger children to have a quality education? I have read so many high school threads, and I am really struggling with what I think will be the involvement necessary for the high school education I hope to provide for my child. Truly it is a matter of having four people that need and deserve a quality education and my ability to provide that to everyone.

 

I have been doing a lot of introspection and having a heart to heart with myself, so I'd love to open the conversation for more input. Thanks for any thoughts and insight.

[Melissa B]

I stagger the kids start times to make sure each has quality one-on-one time with me. Dd15 starts school at 7:30, dd11 starts at 8:30 and ds9 starts at 9:30. They each get an hour and then they mostly study alone asking for help as needed. Lunch for everyone starts at noon. Then I stagger the afternoon times as well. Dd11 is back to school at 1:00, dd15 back to school at 1:30 and ds9 back to school at 2:00. So they each get 1.5 hours of individual time per day. I also work one-on-one as needed over the weekend. My eldest is entirely on her own, but if I needed to add a fourth child I would tack the youngest on to the end with school time being 10:30-11:30 with me and 30 minutes alone followed by an afternoon session from approximately 2:30-3:30 or 4:00 with me.

[coffeegal]

Homeschooling 9th graders is much harder, in my experience, than homeschooling 11th and 12th graders. As the children mature and see adulthood looming, they take more responsibility for their work.

 

Scheduling helps as well. What does your 9th grader need sit-down time with you to cover? What about your 1st grader? What about the others? Often a strict schedule works well for large families.

 

Another option is to have everyone doing the same subject at the same time. The older children can start their work while you sit down with the youngest and work up. Keep an eye on your high schooler for any help he needs.

 

Prioritize what you want your youngest to learn and make it a priority. Or, since 1st grade is usually about an hour, schedule it for the evenings after the school day is over or even for the morning just before or just after breakfast.

 

Also don't overschedule your 9th grader. Often we look at a senior's course load and overburden our 9th graders. I'm not saying to skimp, but I'm also saying it should be a touch more difficult than 8th grade, but closer to 8th grade work than 12th grade work.

 

It's challenging but doable. :001_smile:

[MerryAtHope]

I don't have a large family but do work from home (hubby is disabled), so I have a lot of things pulling me in various directions. One thing I found that helped with my oldest in 9th grade was to consolidate our interactions into specific tutoring times, rather than be available non-stop all day long. So, it wasn't that I reduced the amount of time I was available (initially at least--I agree with coffeegal that as kids get older they take more responsibility for their education and do more on their own)--rather it was that I gave us specific "appointment times" in our schedule--one in the morning and one in the afternoon, when we would meet. We do have occasional other times to meet (such as to watch a teaching video together, which helps me be up to speed on what they're doing). 

 

For example...you could have him get up and get breakfast early and be meeting with him either before your other kids get breakfast, or while they eat. Get him going on his morning classes, go over anything needed, get him all set up, and then organize your time as needed with your other 3. 

 

But I also found that high school was a time to let go--to pick and choose my involvement level in various subjects. Math and writing--my involvement is largely coaching with some teaching, because I use materials that teach well and I can tweak. History and literature, we discuss at least once a week, sometimes several times per week--sometimes we rotate what subjects we discuss. etc... By contrast, Japanese--scant involvement on my part. I started out thinking I'd learn it with him, he needs me--and quickly realized I couldn't make that kind of investment, and this would be his gig to sink or swim, and his area of expertise to teach me some things. 

 

I've found that sometimes my best role is to ask questions (for example, science--my daughter is often  ahead of me in this. My role with her is to ask questions and get her to teach  me things--then I know she really understands it. When she gets stuck on finding answers or how to do chemistry equations, I am a fellow-learner and my experience as "student" can help her get back on track.)

 

By about age 10, I had these rules in place here:

 

1, you never interrupt Mom's one on one time with a sibling unless there is an emergency (fire, blood, broken bones etc...)

2, if you don't know what to do, read the instructions a second time. If you still don't know what to do, do any part of that subject that you CAN do--then come back to the part you don't understand. If you still don't know, you go to your next subject and ask mom during the next break or at your next tutoring time.

 

High school is a time to help our kids prepare for college and the work force--to gradually release them to independence, because that's what they'll have to do soon. They need to know when to ask for help and have tools available for finding answers through books and media as well as through people and experiences. It's really an amazing time when our kids will change so much! In some ways it's not unlike the first few years of life, when you see such drastic changes in what they can do and say and think each year. 

 

I highly recommend working on a few skills this year so that they aren't totally new for high school:

 

1, taking notes--this can be while you talk or read, or it can be on his science or history book that he is reading. He won't do it perfectly but if he can take notes and start learning how to use them as a learning and study tool now, it will be one less "new" thing for next year. This example of Cornell Notes is very similar to the T-notes we do. 

 

2, if you haven't already, let him experience tests in something besides math. History or Science tests--something that has chapter and unit tests, even if you don't always do them. There are students who naturally excell at test-taking, but also students who need a lot of guidance on how to succeed at them, and it helps if this isn't something brand new in high school. 

 

3, if he struggles with writing, help him work on basic writing skills and a basic research paper.

 

All of these are skills that are needed in college, which is not that many years away now--high school is a good time to work on improving these skills, but there are enough new challenges in high school that it's nice if these aren't all more new things to learn. If there's some introduction to them in junior high, it makes that transition to high school a little smoother. It's not impossible without them certainly--just something that can help. 

 

I would encourage you to realistically think through what each of your children need. How much time do you want to spend with your little one and learning to read? What do your middle two need from you? How much time will you spend reading to them or doing activities with them? What are the top two subjects your oldest needs your involvement? What is one area that you might be able to nudge your oldest to more independence? What areas of teaching are non-negotiable--you won't let them go because they are your passion?

 

What chores can your kids take over? How can they free up time for you to teach? What life skills might you teach them this year (or maybe in the summer when you aren't focused on school) to make next year's schedule work better?

 

Realistically lay out a list of what your time investment needs to be based on their needs and the things you consider most important. As you evaluate your priorities, it becomes a little easier to let go of those less important times of involvement. Instead of saying it's all important--you'll find that you are able to give up something lesser to invest in something more important. Those choices for you will look different than what they might look like for me or another homeschooler, and that's okay--we all have unique families and unique situations. 

 

In the course of this, you might evaluate what you really need from curriculum--what gives you the helps you need, or the freedom to make it your own? What is too restrictive or isn't a good fit? What areas do you need more support (maybe a video or computer or online class or even a tutor)? What things in curriculum make your school time go more smoothly, and what kinds of things cause serious hiccups? Think through how you teach and how your kids learn--and it will help you make the kinds of choices that will make high school work for your family. 

 

I think the year my oldest was going into highschool was one of the most intimidating years for me! When I added a second highschooler, that was almost as intimidating! But these are also special, treasured times. We've had great discussions. It's been exciting to see them grow and mature year by year. I'm so blessed we had this time together. Really, you can do this. And it's hard at times, but it's worth it. 

[Lori D.]

Deep breath! One step at a time. :)

 

In many ways 9th grade is just the next step forward, just as 8th grade was your next step forward this year.

What are you using this year with your 8th grader that is working?

Do those materials have high school levels so you can continue with what is working? Familiarity is your friend!

How are you scheduling things now that is working well for the whole family? Continue with that.

How can dad fit into the equation?

Could he start transitioning into helping regularly, even now, by overseeing the 8th grader's math a few evenings a week, or science with the youngers on the weekends?

Previous posters gave you some great tips on overall scheduling a wide range of ages. :) In this past post ("Scheduling questions - how much in a day?"), I suggested more general ideas for streamlining middle/high school schedules.

 

Sounds like your 8th grader is *motivated* and *wants* to work hard -- that will carry you FAR in high school! :) Even being able to outsource one credit per year to an online class will free you up to be more available for the other high school classes. I suggest outsourcing the subject that is most difficult and time consuming for YOU to teach and outsource that one, so you are able to give your strengths to your high schooler. And your student benefits by being taught by someone who is strong in your weak area -- win-win! :)

 

Definitely agree with coffeegal: take it slow and don't over-schedule; schedule what is appropriate for YOUR 9th grader. Remember, you have *four years* to accomplish everything. For example, 22-24 credits will get your DS into the majority of colleges; that's an average of 5.5 to 6 credits a year, and that is VERY do-able. And rest assuring, during all of high school (as well as during the rest of 8th grade!), your student will be maturing and changing tremendously. Where your DS is right now midway 8th grade (in maturity, independent working, etc.) is different than where he will be in just 2 years when he is halfway through his sophomore year -- you'll even see maturity 9-10 months from now when DS is ready to start 9th grade.

 

Since you've already spent some time researching, reading high school threads, etc., this might be a good time to take a break from  that (and the panic it can cause ;) )and see if there are any local homeschoolers who are a step or two ahead in their journey -- with high schoolers or grads -- and get some personalized BTDT mentoring, plus some great ideas of what resources are available to you not only for homeschooling high school, but for homeschooling a wide range of ages simultaneously.

 

:grouphug:  Another deep breath! You'll be okay. Your family is a team, and together you can do this! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

[EndOfOrdinary]

I would look at which subjects could be done independently. Not that all of it must be independent, but which portions. After a fifteen minute math lesson, can he do the problem set on his own? After he reads for an hour, can you then have the literature discussion? After he watches the history documentary, or reads the section, or write the summary, can you then have him tell you the highlights? Could he brainstorm and scaffold the essay, then quick check in, then write a rough draft? These short intervals of independent work would be plenty to work with a first grader. Thirty minutes of reading practice, twenty minutes of math, a tiny bit of handwriting.

 

This would allow you chunks of time where you are directly interacting, but then also begin to give him the necessary pressure to begin being self directed and intrinsicly motivated. I do not think independence has to be looked at as some form of benign neglect, but more on the student beginning to create their own personal process for learning. That is a bit messy at first and really needs the strong adult check in, and sometimes a bit of a heavy hand to identify what is not working out very well. If there is truly nothing your high schooler can do independently, I would be concerned about college or career goals.

 

The largest issue my high schoolers faced when they began college (even community college) was that no one was now telling them what to do. They felt lost. They had too little independence. When it came time for them to write an essay on their own, they flat out couldn't without direct baby step instructions. When it came time for them to read the math book to study, they were unable to make sense of it without a tutor translating into micro managing. If you really need to be so directly involved that your high schooler cannot work for an hour solo, that would be a big red flag for me that the situation is not sustainable.

[G5052]

Yes, I agree with MerryAtHope.  I work full-time, mostly from home.  I teach live online some days, so I am completely unavailable during certain hours, and need to work during certain other hours.

 

So we have a strict schedule with certain checkpoints, depending on the subject and level.  My week is highly scheduled in order to get everything in.  They also have chores every day.

 

I also chose to outsource certain subjects that would have been time-intensive for me to manage.  So there someone else is keeping them accountable, although I do ping them here and there to see what their deadlines are and log in to check their grades every week.

 

It can be done!

[AppleGreen]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughtful responses. Lots of good strategies and time management areas to focus on for the remainder of the year. I definitely needed to hear 'don't over schedule' (again!). I think that is part of the issue this year. He has a pretty full academic load and I need to be mindful of that for next year. I think we are finally getting into our groove. He was in school for almost a month before coming home, so this fall has been a bit of adjusting (going to school) then readjusting (coming home).

 

He is able to work for a stretch of time, but he is very social and likes the interaction, as well as highly distractible, so he let's himself get sidetracked quite easily. Somedays, an hour (or more) is no problem, other days I see him 3 times in an hour for inane little things (I need to sharpen my pencil/get my (fill in the blank) book). EndofOrdinary, that is definitely something we are working on, and I suspect will be an area of continued struggle for a while still. He has not really made the switch to independently creating his own personal process of learning (I love that, BTW). I am not really sure how one does that, but I will be thinking about ways to let him create that space for himself. I mean I go over what he needs to do and then he goes off and does it. He does take regular tests in science (an outside class, using a HS physical science text), Latin, math, and some home created subjects. I think some kids really work better for some external motivation, and I think my kid may be one of those people. He is taking an outside math class, and does handle that pretty independently. He sometimes comes to me when he has a question, or he gets in touch with his teacher for tutoring.  As I sit here thinking about it, he does manage several outside things pretty independently. It is just really hard to know, "Is it enough?" Poor first kids in the guinea pig position!

 

Ok, lots of self musings happening in this post. Thank you all who replied and gave such concrete and tangible suggestions. Really good stuff and all aprreciated!

[EndOfOrdinary]

When I taught high school kids, I found my ninth graders, and some tenth graders, needed an absolute process to begin with. It was like they didn't know where to start, so even really reasonable things (like the sharpening pencils, bathroom breaks, water, snacks, on and on and on) were not apparent. So I created The Process. The was only ONE way to do math homework for the first two months. Down to the place their pencils lived in the classroom. It was always that way. Even if they thought it was the stupidest process, even if they were sure they would learn nothing and fail, even if they felt it was babyish, they had to do it. After two months they could start to change things up that would fit their personalities. The same thing was done for essays and textbook reading notes. It worked wonders. Some were a bit like toddlers initially, but then early teen years and toddler years do not differ much in many respects. ;)

[RootAnn]

Apple - I'm facing the same dilemma next year, except I have one more kid in the mix, so no been-there-done-that from me. However, you said your kid likes to interact so I wonder if you could build that in? Could you have him "scheduled" to help with one or more of your other kid's classes, freeing you up to work on reading with the youngest? For example, perhaps he can help with math (answer questions, do flashcards, teach a topic, work through sample problems?) for one of the others for 15-30 minutes? Or, perhaps it is history - reading the lesson, helping with a project, etc.? You know your kids best as to what subject & which kid(s) this might work best with. That way, he gets some of his need to interact, but it is a win-win for the whole family's schooling time.

 

My eldest is doing Latin and I hope to do this next year with her helping with dd#2 & dd#3's Latin because it'll be a great review of vocab/grammar for dd#1 while freeing up me for a few minutes to do reading with #4. I'll still handle the main teaching, but on days when dd#2/dd#3 are doing to do chants, vocab review, and then work on worksheets, dd#1 is perfect to sit & help them through. It will serve as a bit of "double duty" as she has a certain amount of review she has to build into her own studies to keep everything fresh. 

 

Eldest has also asked to teach #5 how to read. I'm going to schedule that into her work next year (so I don't end up overscheduling her). She will either take on the main teaching duty and I will do fun phonics games or vice versa. Cuts my workload in half for that task.

 

Good luck ... and keep us posted how it goes - what works well & what you're still struggling with.  :grouphug: