Daughter going to ps for the first time

[Chocomom63]

I know it's been awhile since I've posted, but I am in need of  mom therapy or something.  My dd13 will start ps for the first time next week and while I think it's right for her and I think she'll be fine, I'm not sure about me.  I don't know how to feel about this - it's just a lot to take in.  Today we got her schedule and locker and looked at all her classrooms - even met three of her teachers.  She is really excited and I feel okay about it, but I'm sad.  It's not what was in the plan and it came as a shock earlier this year when she said she wanted to go.  

 

 I don't have a question although any advice for a first time school goer is appreciated.  I just want a hug I guess - this is hard.  In some ways I'm glad she and I won't be going 3 rounds about schoolwork, in fact since she knew she was going to ps, she suddenly decided to do the work and not complain. Whatever. :-)  But I will certainly miss her and I know her sisters will too.  Any advice for getting through the first month or so until it becomes more normal?  Thanks for listening - I  just don't have a shoulder to cry on.

 

Chocomom63

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  

 

I don't have a shoulder to cry on either.  I bought HS curriculum and TC lectures and was excited to be learning with my dc.  

 

First, I had to get used to ( still working on this), ds17 working full time.  

 

Now dd14 is going to start HS on Monday.  I spent a lot of time filling out her papers for school and Dr. visits ( new Dr.) 

 

I don't have any advice except that I am glad I will be able to pray for dd, buy her healthy breakfast bars, help with her homework, and love her for who she is. 

At least my dd won't be sleeping half the day.... and may get into a better sleep routine. 

 

We also won't be going round and round about doing school work.  This has eased my mind somewhat, that this strong willed, intelligent person, will learn what it is like to have deadlines and have much more discipline in getting school work done.  I am hoping she will excel in academics and see the value of studying.  

 

I am thinking about purchasing: How to be a Super Star Student from TC for her as well. 

 

Let's keep posting as the changes occur and support each other.  It is so hard for me to see that this is how it has to be for now.  

 

My dd has also started doing work without complaint to get "ready" for real school.  

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  

 

I do have a lady I met dealing with 3 dc going to ps this year and her heart is breaking.  We hope to have lunch soon to support each other.  

[OneStepAtATime]

Try not to take any positive feedback she may bring home as a slam on you.  And try not to gloat if she struggles.   In other words, try hard to disassociate yourself emotionally from what she will experience and just be as supportive and loving as possible, even though that may be painful and difficult to do.

 

She may experience a lot of ups and downs.  Bad days doesn't mean ps is horrible and not working and she should come back home immediately.  Good days doesn't mean that ps is the best and homeschooling was a bad choice for her.  Ups and downs are perfectly normal, even in kids who have gone to ps all their lives.  Just do your best to go with the flow.  If it looks like things are really falling apart, have a frank discussion with her, try to find out what the real problems are, but unless she is facing a serious safety or bullying issue, I would suggest just asking her to give it a couple of weeks or even longer.  Otherwise, she may just be having a perfectly normal bad day, but because of hormones and her age she blows things out of proportion, you overreact and pull her out and then she really regrets it, wants to go back, fights you on homeschooling and you are both unhappy and facing a logistical mess.  Yoyoing seems a lot less helpful than just staying whatever course you are both on for a while and really giving it a fair shot, KWIM?

 

Hugs.  And best wishes.  And I think it is great that TGHEALTHYMOM and you can commiserate.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[desertflower]

Hugs. (I don't know how to make the picture) lol

[LLMom]

I am sending all 5 of my children to school this fall.  Last year, 4 were in.  Check out my blog---it is for people like you.  I have a lot of posts on feelings moms go through as well as tips for schooly things you may not be used to.  
 

Here are a few links to get you started.  How to stay connected with your child

Benefits of school

Preparing homeschooled kids for school

Common misunderstandings of children who go to school part 1 and part 2

[LLMom]

LLMom your blog is enjoyable.

 

I am struggling because I know school is the right choice but I miss my buddy. He is now gone 9 hrs a day. :(. Soccer at HS is a full time job.

 

 

Thanks.  I know what you mean about missing your buddy.  My youngest was home with me last year and will be going this year.  I will miss her, but she needs to go so we are letting her.  

[Chocomom63]

Finally getting back here to reply - sorry - my life has been crazy busy all summer!  Thank you to everyone who replied and if you said a little prayer for me or wished us luck - thank you for that too. 

 

TGHEALTHYMOM - sorry you are going through this too.  It's such a huge change for everyone isn't it?  I was so nervous approaching the school, but after Friday I feel a little bit better. You have my support and I'm glad you have a potential friend too.  That'll be a great help to you both.  

 

OneStepAtATime - Great advice!!  I'm going to remember your words as my dd and I go through this together.  I keep trying to remember how it was when I was that young and that helps too.  Yesterday, she said that she's starting to wonder if she's doing the right thing so we talked about that too. She has what I didn't:  a loving family supporting her - and that's going to go a long way.  Am I still worried?  Oh yeah!

 

Sadie - It sounds like overall it's been a mostly good transition for your dd.  I'm hoping for the same.  

 

JMcElrath - thanks for the hug - really needed that :-)

 

LLMom - Thanks again for directing me to your blog - I actually do have it favorited so I check in often.  Thanks for all the good advice and sharing of your personal experience - really helps!

 

I think the two biggest things for my dd to deal with will be the amount of kids and the amount of teachers she will have.  I've been very positive with my words though and explaining from my experience (even though that was an eon ago),  and the counselor has also told her that her door is open should my dd need help at any time.  The time we spend walking to and from school can be special time to listen to her as well.  I just hope this highly opinionated mom can know when to keep her big mouth shut.  We are talkers in our family.

 

I took my daughter school supply shopping yesterday and we had such a good time!  She picked out the things we know she needs now and then we'll wait to see what extra things her teachers will want.  We also got frapps at Starbucks to celebrate this new chapter in her life as well.  When Tuesday comes around though and I see her off to school you can bet this is one mom who will need a truckload of kleenex on the walk home. 

 

I did also want to give a mini update on my son who did not want to go to ps - we decided to let him do high school at home for now.  So, I'll be homeschooling 3 this year, but it still may be my last year depending on their sister's experience this year.  After 20 years of homeschooling my life is changing fast and not sure how to feel about that - the nest is emptying in various ways.

 

Hugs to everyone else going through this as well - you have my support.