If someone does not learn from their past mistakes

[lynn]

is there any hope that they will ever get it?   

[bettyandbob]

sometimes. 

 

Sometimes people have to find their own bottom before they can change behavior. 

[Catherine]

I have a family member who is like this. His childhood was traumatic and I suspect that is behind some of his struggles. But in his case there has also been growth, very slow and halting, but growth none the less. You can only hope.

[Anne in CA]

It really does depend. Some people do and some people cannot. Mistakes involving spending money, addiction, cruelty of any kind always take a "conversion/ epiphany experience" in my experience. Most people do not change behavior patterns without some sort of spiritual change of some kind. I have gone to church with people who have overcome compulsive spending/ spousal abuse/ porn addiction/ drug addiction of all kinds, but I have seen people with these problems take them right back up again if something goes wrong in church and they leave. 

[forty-two]

Well, I dropped out of college and spent years in a serious depression, but I eventually got it.  Ten years later, here I am, facing the same lessons as before - only this time I am learning from past errors, instead of persisting in hoping that change will magically happen without me having to do anything different. 

 

It's possible :grouphug:.

[Carrie12345]

There's always hope!

 

Statistical odds are a whole different story and vary by individual situation.

[lynn]

sometimes. 

 

Sometimes people have to find their own bottom before they can change behavior. 

In this person the bottom seems to be further than we thought.  We suspect mental illness.

[forty-two]

In this person the bottom seems to be further than we thought.  We suspect mental illness.

 

Depression complicated my problems.  I hit what I thought was rock bottom multiple times, and found each time that, yes indeedy, I *could* fall farther.  I had to completely get out of the triggering environment (school, for me) to stop falling, and I still wallowed around at the bottom for years before starting to get better.  Even now, I still can't handle the core triggers, but I've arranged my life to avoid them, and I'm getting stronger baby step by baby step.  But, yeah, my refusing to learn mystified *me*, and I was the one doing it, so I can only imagine how incomprehensible it looked from the outside.  Cured me of my "logic is king" attitude, though, as I persisted in doing illogical-to-me things no matter how stupid I told myself it was - and it was stupid - and so was brought face to face with the reality that, clearly, logic isn't everything.