Not sure if this is turning into a problem or not...need perspective.

[AndyJoy]

This stumped me as well when I read it. My 14 year old is the same height and almost the same weight (my dd is a bit more) than the OP, but she wears a size 0 or 2 in regular jeans and wears a size 2 or 4 in skinny jeans. A size 8 in any cut wouldn't fit my dd.

 

The OP did say size 8 skinny jeans were a bit roomy, so maybe size 6 would fit perfectly.  I think this could vary a lot with body type and clothing brand.  I wore a size 6 when I was 11, mostly due to my hip shape.  I was 5'2" and 100 lbs with thin bony arms.  I look sickly in photos (I was struggling with constant sinus infections).  At 14 I was 5'4" and 120 but I lost 11 lbs. during basketball season so I weighed 108.  I wore a size 8 in pants then.  I was smaller on top, but had "perfect hips for softball and childbearing" (according to my softball coach.)

[PinkInTheBlue]

I seldom ever do this but I am responding without reading any further comments. Just so you know. :)

 

I'm 5'4" and range throughout a normal day between 102 and 105 pounds. I wear a 0 or 00 size pants. However, I eat pretty much what I want when I want. I eat well and with awareness. I'm just not really crazy about food. I don't think size is the problem for someone if that seems to be their natural body size tendency.

 

However, if your estimates on what she's eating, how often and when is accurate I'd seriously recommend some type of intervention; either between just the two of you or the two of you followed by counseling. That's WAY too little food for any healthy person, especially a growing teenager. WAY too little! Assuming your information is completely right, that's a dangerous path, in my opinion.

 

I'll be thinking of you.

[AndyJoy]

I would seek help. 

 

One of my college roommates struggled with anorexia, starting at about 15-16.  Even after she was diagnosed, seeking counselling, and was trying to overcome it, her typical food intake was very similar to that.  Coffee only for breakfast, 1/2 a Luna bar or some yogurt in the afternoon, a tiny portion at dinner when others would notice if she weren't eating at all.  If we went out as a group she would indulge in a pretty normal meal.  She wore clothes that were too big because she really believed that was what fit her body because her perception was off.  She went for daily "walks," but when I encountered her she was definitely speed-walking/jogging to attempt to burn more calories.  (BTW, she is doing great now and went from the extreme of having extra body hair (body's attempt to keep warm), yellow skin, sensitivity to cold, and irregular periods to being a mother of 3)

 

 

[5LittleMonkeys]

I am having a hard time figuring out how she could eat 500 calories a day, weigh 105 and still be a size 8. That does not add up to me. My girls are as dense as they come (think Shawn Johnson), weigh way more than 105, eat all of the time and wear size 2, maybe 4 if it runs small. Are you sure she is not fudging her weight or size or the amount she eats? Those possibilities would raise their own red flags, I suppose, but a size 6 or 8 is not that thin for a 16 year old. Anyway, my point is not to discourage you from

checking with a professional, but maybe

just to encourage you to consider that she may be eating more than you see.

 

Best of luck to both of you.

 

I just went to check the jean size she was wearing today -  I misspoke before, it's actually a 7 not an 8 and I didn't clarify that they are Juniors not Misses    I would say she could fit into a size down from that since she has to wear a belt with these and the legs are loose. I can see where the confusion would be if we were talking about misses sizes. 

 

However, it isn't really about the size of her body right now, it's more about her eating habits\lack of observable calorie, nutrient intake combined with her desire to loose more weight.  Based on her frame she really doesn't need to loose more weight yet she looks at her self and sees areas that she thinks are fat. I personally wouldn't care if she were even thinner than she is right now if I knew she was eating healthy and providing her body the sustenance it needs to support her still growing body. 

[Only me]

First of all this would definitely concern me and I would want her to be checked out just to be sure. I would worry more about her eating habits than her weight. My 21 year old is 5-1 and around 100

Pounds or so and wears a size 3 but when she was dancing she struggled to get over 90. She was often not hungry and we had to remind her to refuel. Her younger sister is 5-9 and weighs around 125 and wears a size 4. She has muscular thighs since she plays hockey. When she was a younger teen (she is 18 now) I think she was a bit concerned since her older sister was so tiny and she seemed so big compared to her. For awhile she would eat small portions and seemed a bit obsessed with not being a bigger size than her older sister. She started hockey two years ago and her eating habits have changed so much. She eats to fuel her body. She knows she needs proper food on game days to perform well and has several healthy snacks throughout the day especially after practice. I still consider her slim but she is healthy and has muscles even though she still wears a small size. Of course being 5-9 stretches out her weight distribution. Can you try to get your daughter to focus on refueling and to keep her body running well rather than even concentrating on weight or size? I try to keep convenient and nutritious snacks In the house. I think this daughter likes the transformation that has taken place and she really feels in control of having a strong healthy body and it also makes her feel all around better.

[AndyJoy]

I just went to check the jean size she was wearing today -  I misspoke before, it's actually a 7 not an 8 and I didn't clarify that they are Juniors not Misses    I would say she could fit into a size down from that since she has to wear a belt with these and the legs are loose. I can see where the confusion would be if we were talking about misses sizes. 

 

However, it isn't really about the size of her body right now, it's more about her eating habits\lack of observable calorie, nutrient intake combined with her desire to loose more weight.  Based on her frame she really doesn't need to loose more weight yet she looks at her self and sees areas that she thinks are fat. I personally wouldn't care if she were even thinner than she is right now if I knew she was eating healthy and providing her body the sustenance it needs to support her still growing body. 

:iagree: I was going to say something along those lines.  Some people are just skinny that that is ok, but not if they are doing it on so few calories!  I have a crazy-thin friend who eats well/healthy but still weighs about 115-120 at 5'9"!  She's always been like that.  But she doesn't think she's fat.  Stuff I was reading online said consuming 600-800 calories is typical for anorexia nervosa.

[WagsWife]

I went through something similar with my oldest dd.   I ended up getting online and figuring what her ideal weight range was.  I told her that I was not going to micromanage what she ate, but going below that range was not acceptable and would be grounds for taking her to the doctor. I gave her periodic weight checks (mostly when it appeared to me that she had lost weight, or just did not look "right.")  If she got down to the bottom of her range, then we had a very strong discussion which ended with her understanding that if she did not fix it,  she would have nutritionists and doctors on her back...not just her parents.  She never went under...although she came close a couple of times. 

 

We did this for about a year, and then one day she was not concerned about loosing weight...now she is self conscious about the fact that she has, in her words..."the body of a 12yr old boy."  Now, she really tries to keep her weight up.  I think what changed her thinking was that her dad and I set our criteria, and as long as she met it, we did not hassle her too much...however a lot of other people did.  She was (and still is) asked if she was anorexic quite a bit, (she is not)...and that has made her feel very self-conscious.

 

[MissKNG]

So what is the difference between anorexia (which is not about food) and extreme dieting (which is about food)?

 

In a simple nutshell:

 

Extreme dieting is something someone "goes through" and it stops. People extreme diet to look good at their high school reunion or bikini season or wedding.

 

Anorexia is a "lifestyle". It's the way you live and it's something you just don't "go through" and stop. Your mind needs to be rewired to think "normally" about food, eating and yourself.

 

This is why people who seek help for an eating disorder should see someone who specializes in it. Because anorexia isn't something you wake up one day and say "I want to be anorexia". It's much deeper and darker than waking up and saying "I want to lose 10 pounds before my reunion next month". (extreme dieting)

[Laurie4b]

I just went to check the jean size she was wearing today -  I misspoke before, it's actually a 7 not an 8 and I didn't clarify that they are Juniors not Misses    I would say she could fit into a size down from that since she has to wear a belt with these and the legs are loose. I can see where the confusion would be if we were talking about misses sizes. 

 

However, it isn't really about the size of her body right now, it's more about her eating habits\lack of observable calorie, nutrient intake combined with her desire to loose more weight.  Based on her frame she really doesn't need to loose more weight yet she looks at her self and sees areas that she thinks are fat. I personally wouldn't care if she were even thinner than she is right now if I knew she was eating healthy and providing her body the sustenance it needs to support her still growing body. 

 

Your mom's radar is honing in on the important things: both her eating habits and the concern that she looks at her thin self and sees fat. That is a classic anorexic symptom. The perception is actually distorted. (It's so hard to believe that they actually do see fat where you see skin and bones.)

 

Your gut assessment has gotten lots of confirmation here. Now you need to find the specialist and get some help.

 

My cousin died of complications of anorexia. Nip this in the bud.

[Haiku]

Am I dealing with anorexia or is this typical teenage girl eating habits?  I know I should take her to the doctor but I've been loathe too because I don't want this to turn into me against her thing.  We have a good relationship and she is such a level headed reasonable girl who is always willing to take my advice on matters - except this. 

 

This is not normal ... at all ... and sounds like anorexia. You absolutely need to take her to a doctor. it doesn't matter how level headed she is; anorexia is a mental disease and you can't reason someone out of it. Call the doctor today. Right this minute.