Bright 1st grader who doesn't like any formal homeschooling

[Clpretzel]

My 6ds talks math all day long.  He loves learning.  However, the minute I get out a phonics book or ask him to read to me, he states, "I hate school."  So far that's all I do formally/daily with him for school (phonics and reading.)  He's above average in reading, and well above average in math. 

 

Some specifics of our situations that I would love you to consider. 

-He's one of 4 that I homeschool, so I can't just tailor the entire day to making learning fun for him. 

-I haven't started him on a math curriculum (though he's addicted to math) because I'm nervous about his sister's feelings if/when he passes her up.  I use Math Mammoth with her, and she struggles, but she's not behind.  I love MM, and could see switching him to MM and using something esle with her. 

-I have very limited funding to invest in new curriculums now.  I could do one, but I can't have trials with several curriculums to see what works. 

-He asks challenging questions all the time, but does not like to be given challenging workbooks. 

 

Suggestions?  Thoughts?

 

Thanks!!!

[SarahW]

I understand how frustrating it is to try to teach a kid who says he hates school. I do. But I'm not sure the right response is to just drop everything but the most minimal basics, and then just keep the few things he dislikes.

 

Let's say you like cooking a bit. But then you had to do no cooking except the two recipes that you hated the most. Every day. I'm sure you would come to loathe cooking of any form pretty fast.

 

There will be some subjects which a child will dislike. That's a given. But "schooltime" should also include subjects he or she likes, or even loves. Seeing how study can show them new, exciting things about something they find interesting can help them realize that studying even the disliked subjects can have benefits.

 

As for your son passing your daughter in math - that's fine. Your son's gift should not be stifled. I'm sure there is something that your daughter likes that your son doesn't. Explain to her that everyone is different, and focus her attention on what she can do well.

 

As for the challenging questions - maybe have a good encyclopedia around (or the internet) and answer his questions with "Let's look it up and find out!" Unless, of course, he demands that you explain how gravity works, like mine did, lol. I know this is time consuming, but eventually he'll be able to read the encyclopedia for himself.

 

As for curriculum, maybe try MEP for his math? It's free. And different.

 

[Crimson Wife]

My wiggly boy really liked the Evan-Moor "Take it to Your Seat _____ Centers" in K. I think you can get that through TeacherFileBox that HSBC has on discount: https://www.homeschoolbuyersco-op.org/teacherfilebox/?c=1

[SierraNevada]

My DS6 is similar. He loves academic subjects and studying on his own, but as soon as I try to direct his learning, it's an, I hate school, meltdown. For us we took last semester off,except for handwriting, and are starting this month adding a bit more back in. So far so good, but I still can't ask too much of him. He is fiercely independent,but luckily also an autodidact,so I don't worry TOO much about it. Actually, I do, but it is a delicate balance between him having some autonomy and me still waring the pants. As long as I'm confident that his brain isn't rotting with excess electronic time, then I feel like I'm doing okay. I do feel like I am always walking on eggshells around him, and being manipulated, but I'm trying hard to GENTLY lead. As far as loving math but not mailing challenging problems, that is natural for a gifted leaner who has found everything come so easy to him. It takes a long time to build that skill up and a lot of effort. Just because he is great at something, is no reason to think he will love being challenged in that area. In fact quite the opposite is true! Oh, how well I know this!

Is he disliking phonics instruction because he already know how to read and finds it boring? Does he dislike reading out loud because he feels you are testing him, or he is more confident reading in his head?

I only have one child, so have no idea about working with four at once,but I think if you don't take the time to make it more customized to him, you run the risk of turning him off of school for good.

Fiesty, independent ones are hard....good luck!

[serendipitous journey]

My child A. also detested school in first grade -- even math, which he is extremely talented at, partly because we were working right at his level so it wasn't easy for him.  So that part of things I can sympathize with!  though all children are different (for instance, A. was a non-reader until 5 1/2 at which time I began requiring 10 or so minutes of phonics work daily) and also I have only two to fit in. 

 

I always find it helpful, when facing challenges like these, to step back and revisit my goals for the child's school and his personal development.  For the "grammar" or primary years, what do you want to have covered/accomplished by,  say, the end of fourth grade?  are you pursuing a "classical" education of some sort?  more unschooly?   and begin considering how to get there incrementally. 

 

I differ with some of the above comments in that I don't think that a minimalist school approach will destroy the child's love of learning.  A., at least, "disliked" anything at all that was presented to him in some format he didn't design himself, but he also required a lot of formal, structured work or he would melt down regularly.  So I learned to ignore the "dislike" messages and pay attention to how well the child was doing in general -- was he thriving?  I also began to require a polite attitude during school.  At any rate, you could certainly begin by instructing the child at his level in reading, writing, and math. 

 

MEP is an excellent and free program though it takes a good amount of direct instruction time; if you try it and have a hard time accelerating it to keep pace with the child, post here and you'll get help.  Singapore is another good bet, though you will want one or two extra books probably (such as Challenging Word Problems or Intensive Practice) and it is not always easy to know which will suit until you've tried it.  There are also library-based methods (books by Zaccaro such as Primary Grade Challenge Math come to mind) and again, it is a matter of trial and error. 

 

On the reading front you could consider looking at Ambleside Online, which is a free Charlotte Mason curriculum which uses as many public domain books as possible.  AO is designed by conservative Protestant Christians with a Young Earth belief system, so your worldview may or may not line up, but there is a great deal to work with regardless.  The Year 1 readings should include some that would challenge the child, particularly if you work on his narration skills -- have him tell you back in detail.  The readings are meant to be mainly read aloud, but can be done independently by a child capable of the work. 

 

If he is not writing regularly and pretty well, that is worth requiring and instructing.  You can use Zaner-Bloser on grade level to teach the basics, and then assign copywork with their free online worksheet generator or make your own handwriting assignments, or post here for ideas.  ;)  CrimsonWife's suggestion of the Evan Moor books sounds terrific. 

 

At any rate, I do think a lot of what is useful about the earliest grades is teaching the child to work well on things they wouldn't do for fun.   I do think that having the child work regularly on challenging material -- for short time periods, maybe 5 - 10 minutes at the start -- will pay off in the long run. 

 

[Uff Da!]

I just want to address the younger child passing up the older. We have this on occasion and I find that addressing it in a "no nonsense/ it's not a big deal" sort of way has been healthy for my kids. We talk about how some people are good at some things and some have to work harder at them and that it's OK to be like that and it's normal. I have also talked about how my brother is a natural musician and how I always had to work at it.

When I made a big deal about DS passing Dd, they did too. When I claimed it was normal to have that happen sometimes, they believed me.

[sunnyday]

Yeah, my DD is already correcting my DS when he reads and spells, and has beaten him once at chess. They're only 2 years apart but in our house we talk so much about natural skill vs. passion and dedication, getting things easily vs. the gift of learning from failure, that I really hope that they'll be able to handle themselves as they leapfrog each other in various areas. But I'm certainly not holding anybody back or preventing them from doing a topic (eg. math or chess, my DS's passions) just because they might outshine someone else.

 

What does "addicted to math" and "above average in math" look like to you, if he's not doing a curriculum? IMO it should be a first priority for you to get him past this "doesn't like challenging workbook problems" phase. It is a game-changer for a mathy little guy to go from crowing at what he already knows, to reveling in the kind of problem you learn from. Going from "math is fun because it's easy" to "math is fun because you get the most interesting problems to sink your teeth in." Fortunately my DS never thought that easy math was fun, but it did take him some time to get past being frustrated for being wrong. That said, he still doesn't like "math where you know you're doing math." We do workbooks in short spurts as currency to trade for other things, eg. "Show me you already know this page and we can get the next level of more interesting math," "Do the skip-counting section so you get to the multiplication section," or even just a blunt, "Four pages in exchange for 10 minutes of Minecraft," LOL.

 

What phonics books are you using with a boy who's above average in reading? I'm still working to find a balance between reading to my DS7, having him read to me, and strewing material he might like to read to himself. (He is currently very absorbed in The Lego Idea Book, Spider magazine, and a Justice League graphic novel.) Phonics isn't part of our instruction at this point, but he does have the Phonics with Phonograms app and we do phonics-based spelling when we find the time.

 

I agree you should look at MEP, and consider getting him hooked in some content subjects. My DS loves science and history, and has made his own notebook in which he copies out or draws pictures of interesting things from scorpions to the labyrinthine palaces of ancient Crete, along with his own narrations about the subject or sentences from the books we read.

[Embassy]

My 6ds talks math all day long.  He loves learning.  However, the minute I get out a phonics book or ask him to read to me, he states, "I hate school."  So far that's all I do formally/daily with him for school (phonics and reading.)  He's above average in reading, and well above average in math. 

 

Some specifics of our situations that I would love you to consider. 

-He's one of 4 that I homeschool, so I can't just tailor the entire day to making learning fun for him. 

-I haven't started him on a math curriculum (though he's addicted to math) because I'm nervous about his sister's feelings if/when he passes her up.  I use Math Mammoth with her, and she struggles, but she's not behind.  I love MM, and could see switching him to MM and using something esle with her. 

-I have very limited funding to invest in new curriculums now.  I could do one, but I can't have trials with several curriculums to see what works. 

-He asks challenging questions all the time, but does not like to be given challenging workbooks. 

 

Suggestions?  Thoughts?

 

Thanks!!!

I would focus on making your current curriculum more engaging to him.  When I say engaging, I don't mean making things fun and entertaining your child.  I mean finding a way to hook an interest in the topic.  Sometimes this involves fun activities or using a different curriculum, but mostly it requires the parent to have a brainstorming session to attempt to find a way to engage the child.

 

For instance, my 5 year old is much more engaged in a task if she is playing the part of a teache or if I am "recording" her teaching for a "Youtube video".  She also likes bringing toys and letting them have turns completing a problem. 

 

I also believe it is very important for a child who finds work easy to be challenged and given work that he has to work to figure out.

[Clpretzel]

Well, dh and I talked this weekend and decided we should definitely have dd8 and ds6 do different curriculum.  I have her in MM and she struggles with the format (though not behind in math.)  I think I might give MM to him, and switch her to something more spiral.  Thoughts?

 

I am not comfortable telling a 8 year old she's not as good as her younger brother at math.  That is true now, but I don't assume that it will be true in the future if she puts her mind to it.  However, if her only frame of reference is a super-mathy kid, I think she might start to believe she's not good at it (which isn't true.)

 

When I say ds6 loves math, I mean he talks about numbers all day long.  He has requested a plus/minus/times/divide birthday party.  He adds large numbers for fun all the time.  He asked me if circles have infinity corners (and lots of other mathy questions that I have to look up the answers to.)  He had a counting to a thousand party a year ago.  We talk about things like 30 digit numbers.  When I hand him and Miquon book, he usually picks the hardest page to tackle. 

 

If he were my only child, I would be inclined to wait another year until we use a curriculum.  I did this with my very bright dd11.  We waited until 2nd grade and soared through several years in 1 year.  She's now well above level in math.  For first grade I just had her reading.  She read everything she could get her hands on.  Then in second we spent an hour on math a day and got well into 4th grade Singapore Math that year.  But, alas, it is much different homeschooling 1 than 4.

 

I use ETC for phonics with ds.  I have him do 4 pages a day.  He's in book 3.  He's either flying through the lessons, saying it's too hard, or making up games with the squares as he's going along (and taking 3x longer to do it... which is fine.)  I have him read to me from a primer that he doesn't seem to mind while we're doing it, but complains like crazy every time I get it out (which is just about every day.)  It's below his level, but not too easy. 

[Clpretzel]

I'm curious about MEP... but I've heard it's pretty teacher intensive.  I would rather put my teacher intensive time into teaching reading with ds6 at this point. 

[serendipitous journey]

I'm curious about MEP... but I've heard it's pretty teacher intensive.  I would rather put my teacher intensive time into teaching reading with ds6 at this point. 

 

May I ask -- why not keep DD8 in MM? 

 

For your son, I think Singapore is really the strongest mainstream option (meaning one that has good homeschooling support in the program) -- is there something in MM you think would be better for him?  

 

Galore Park maths would be an even stronger option for him than SM (starting in Junior Maths 1 probably or maybe 2) in my opinion given the questions he's asking.  Galore Park is a British company that designs curricula for private schools there, and it is used at some of the most competitive schools (Westminster for one).  Galore Park is superior to Singapore in terms of thinking of some of the sorts of things your son seems to be thinking of -- number patterns &c.   I found it much much easier to use than MEP.  If he goes through all the GP books (the upper level are the "So You Really Want to Learn Maths" he'll be ready for AoPS.