Christian Campus / Non-Christian Student?

[Jenny in Florida]

I'm interested to hear from folks who've encountered this kind of dilemma. Or, really, any thoughts anyone might have to help us think this through.

 

My son did his first official college visit yesterday. (We had stopped by two other campuses the previous day to wander about on our own, but this one was the first where we had managed to arrange a tour and meetings and such.)  He said he liked everything about the place, with one exception: the emphasis on Christianity.

 

The college identifies itself as interdenominational and says it is welcoming to students of all faiths. Students are required to earn a certain number of "chapel credits" each academic year, but I didn't get the sense from the students who led our tour yesterday that all or even most of the students take it terribly seriously. For example, each of them talked about how much they like the fact that the university never schedules classes during chapel time, since it means students have extra time to study or go to lunch with friends once they've gotten their required attendance "out of the way" for the year.

 

However, when we asked whether it was possible to substitute attendance at an off-campus church of the student's choice to meet chapel credit requirements, we were told that was not acceptable.

 

Please understand that we have the greatest possible respect for Christianity and Christians. Both of my kids have sung with Christian choirs and have friends who attend different kinds of churches. We're friendly with families from the choirs. I've tiptoed closer to some kind of Christian belief, myself, over the last few years.

 

However, when push comes to shove, my son is most distinctly not Christian, himself. He's grown up attending a

Unitarian Universalist church and isn't even especially interested in the spiritual aspects there. For him, it's much more about community.

 

Although he's personally kind of conservative about some things (doesn't drink or smoke or enjoy hanging around people who do, etc.), he's very much a social liberal. (One of his best friends is transgendered. He has a number of friends and acquaintances who are gay. He believes marriage equality is a civil right. He isn't the least bit put off by folks with blue hair and tattoos. That kind of thing.) He's spent most of his childhood dancing and doing theatre, and is extremely accepting of things a lot of conservative Christians might find pretty fringe-y.

 

He is attracted to this particular college because the dance program seems like it might be a good fit for him. He also likes the location, the distance from home, the campus itself and a lot of the extras the campus has to offer. The fact that it is Christian really hasn't figured into his personal equation. Academically, it's about a close to a "safety" as he's likely to find. His grades and test scores place him in the top 25% or so compared to recently admitted students. And the combination of that and being a guy in a major desperate for men may put him in line for good scholarship opportunities.

 

In some ways, I think the somewhat restrained atmosphere of a religious campus might be great for him. The students who led yesterday's tour discussed some of the rules about boy-girl dorm visitation, dress codes, etc., and he didn't find any of that problematic at all. In fact, he isn't likely to feel at home in the kind of free-for-all that sometimes happens at more liberal schools. And, at a Christian school, he is unlikely to encounter choreography or costumes in the dance classes or ensembles that would make him personally uncomfortable. (No one will ask him to dance nearly naked or do any especially suggestive movements, I assume.)

 

On the other hand, I worry about exactly how much Christianity will infiltrate the curriculum. We know that, while students don't sign statements of faith, instructors do. And the students who led yesterday's tour spoke about how much they appreciate that professors bring their beliefs into the classrooms with them. He's completely okay with people speaking their minds, expressing opinions, but would resent attempts at actual indoctrination. He has no problem taking the required classes in Bible history/literacy, as long as no one tries to make him say he actually believes all of it.

 

And I worry, too, about whether he'd find himself feeling isolated or ostracized when it becomes clear to his roommates and classmates that he doesn't share their beliefs.

 

We're still early in the journey. As I said, yesterday's tour was the very first one my son has done. I know he has plenty of time to see more options and change his mind 100 times. In fact, he's attending an event this weekend that has him taking master classes with faculty from college dance programs all over the country and attending information sessions about various schools. So, it's entirely possible he'll fall in love with some other school by the end of tomorrow. However, he surprised me at one point yesterday by saying that the Christian campus was, so far, his top choice. And I'd like to make sure we have our eyes completely open just in case he does decide to pursue admission there.

 

So, thanks for reading this very long, babbling explanation. And, with that, I'd really appreciate hearing thoughts and experiences from others who have perhaps faced similar situations?

 

 

 

 

[HelenNotOfTroy]

My husband attended a Christian school for college. That is where he became solidly atheistic in his views. He did not live on campus because he lived with family in the same town. He had professors who had more liberal as well as more conservative viewpoints, the professors were required to be Christian but did not have to be socially conservative at his school.

[marbel]

The college identifies itself as interdenominational and says it is welcoming to students of all faiths. Students are required to earn a certain number of "chapel credits" each academic year, but I didn't get the sense from the students who led our tour yesterday that all or even most of the students take it terribly seriously. For example, each of them talked about how much they like the fact that the university never schedules classes during chapel time, since it means students have extra time to study or go to lunch with friends once they've gotten their required attendance "out of the way" for the year.

 

On the other hand, I worry about exactly how much Christianity will infiltrate the curriculum. We know that, while students don't sign statements of faith, instructors do. And the students who led yesterday's tour spoke about how much they appreciate that professors bring their beliefs into the classrooms with them. He's completely okay with people speaking their minds, expressing opinions, but would resent attempts at actual indoctrination. He has no problem taking the required classes in Bible history/literacy, as long as no one tries to make him say he actually believes all of it.

 

And I worry, too, about whether he'd find himself feeling isolated or ostracized when it becomes clear to his roommates and classmates that he doesn't share their beliefs.

 

 

I don't have a kid in this position yet.  We are Christian but don't necessarily expect our kids to go to Christian colleges - just the best college (if any) for them.  But a few things stood out to me.  I can't figure out how to separate the parts I want to quote...

 

First, students not taking chapel seriously.  I would wonder about a school that has a requirement that no one really takes seriously.  That wouldn't necessarily be a dealbreaker for me, but things like that bother me.  Maybe "chapel" isn't that important, but something Christian/religious schools are supposed to do.  In other words, meaningless.  Obviously I don't know about this school, just a general impression.

 

Second, taking classes in Bible, etc., as long as he doesn't have to say he believes in it.  I think this is the position of most Christian (or other religion) students in secular/public schools.  (I hope that doesn't come off as snarky; it's not meant to be.)  I smiled when I read this, thinking of a young woman I knew years ago who was a strong 6-day, young earth creationist with a degree in geology from a state university.  I asked how she managed to do it when she didn't believe in much of what they taught.  Her response was "I knew what they wanted me to say, and I said it.  I didn't have to believe it."  

 

Third, possible ostracism. Christianity comes in many different flavors.  We have people with tattoos and blue hair at our church, which is quite conservative in beliefs if not in form.   There are liberal Christians whose beliefs about Jesus Christ are quite different from mine.  It would be great if your son could meet with more students there to get a feel for that.   Would that be a possibility?  But, you know, I think Christian students sometimes feel ostracized or at least lonely for their beliefs at secular institutions too.  (Which is not to say that it's OK for your kid to be since other kids are too, kwim?)  Do they have clubs that are not explicitly Christian or religious? 

 

I hope you can a good feel for the school so your son can be comfortable with his decision!  :grouphug:

 

[dirty ethel rackham]

I think fit is a very important aspect of the college search.  Not all Christian campuses are the same.  Not all have a Chapel requirement.  My son likes the dry campus and the fairly strict visitation policy, mostly because he is an introvert and likes a quieter living environment.  So far, he has felt very comfortable there (he is a sophomore.)  They do have religion as a gen ed requirement -- a 2 hour class, but there are many topics to choose from, not all of them about Christianity.  Ds was a little bummed because they changed the class he signed up for from Earth and Ethics to Christianity and Ethics.  Since he has only had 1 week of classes, I haven't heard what he thinks of the new class.  He would have a tough time finding a different section that fits in his schedule since he is  lab 11 hours a week (organic chem and a lab intensive bio class.) 

[Barbara H]

My thought is that early in the college search process it is a positive thing any time a student finds a school they are interested in. If this is not really a great fit due to mismatch with the religious culture that will pretty naturally work itself out as he visits more schools.

[Candid]

I'd continue to look and if this school stays in the running find out if he can do an overnight and take classes, go to chapel, etc.

 

I find ambiguity in this remark of yours:

 

 

 

He's completely okay with people speaking their minds, expressing opinions, but would resent attempts at actual indoctrination. He has no problem taking the required classes in Bible history/literacy, as long as no one tries to make him say he actually believes all of it.

 

I'm not sure he'll know where the line between his "expressing opinions" and "indoctrination" is until he has seen it. That's why an overnight on campus visit would be a good thing.

 

I'd consider any school that has faculty sign a statement of faith to be fairly serious in their beliefs. The chapel lightness might be that they don't do anything other than show up to get credit, hard to say. 

[Katy]

I am Christian but if I were in your situation I would try very hard to find a more liberal school in a more liberal area for your son.  Kids might not "take it too seriously" but their parents do, and you'll be surprised by what he sees as judgment and prejudice.