Helping DD With Anxiety

[jen3kids]

My dd is nearly 14 and her anxiety levels seem to be increasing. What can I do/say to help her?

 

As a toddler, she was super-friendly and would talk to (or sing to) anyone. When I took her out of school at age 6, she was still a talkative little thing, but as she approached age 10/11, she became uncomfortable talking to people, even folks she knows. Now, she nearly cries when in a situation where she has to talk in a group. She's better in 1:1 situations, especially if she knows the person somewhat, but the group things have her in knots.

 

She has to give a presentation to her classmates (10 kids and 2 teachers) in a few weeks and she is already in tears about it. I told her to talk to her teachers and ask for help in getting through it. I hope she does, but I'm going to send them a note to give them a heads up. When I told her this morning that she'd be getting a ride home with a teammate from lacrosse practice, she got teary-eyed, saying she didn't know her. They've been on the same team for nearly a year, so she does know her - they just aren't close friends. It is true that she doesn't know the mom, but they live in the development behind us, so my dd won't have to give directions or anything to get to our house.

 

We talked about it on the way to school and she says the size of the group and whether or not she knows them has very little impact on how she feels - she gets butterflies in her stomach and tears up. I talked about internal conversations she can have with herself, repeating to herself that it will be ok, over and over again. (something that has worked for me when I'm dealing with stressful situations, like roller coasters!)

 

I don't know what else to do. I know some it has to do with puberty and feeling comfortable in her changing body. None of these situations are overtly threatening - all the kids and adults are nice, friendly and welcoming. But, she perceives them as threatening.

 

Any suggestions?

 

Thanks.

[Ottakee]

I would suggest a good physical with blood work from her doctor. Have them check Vit D, Vit B, thyroid, anemia, sugars, etc.----basically the comprehensive Chem plus a few. It could be that some thing is off there.

 

I think that a good counselor might be very helpful as well. Medication might be needed at some point but I would look at other options first.

[ebunny]

I agree with the PP. Get a complete bloodwork done. I would take a hard look at B12 levels. Quite a few anxiety issues can stem from a B 12 or sometimes, a magnesium deficiency.

 

Fwiw, If I miss one day of my B complex vits (particularly B 12) anxiety takes over my life.

[Tammyla]

Oh, the poor kid. Does practicing with family help?

[jen3kids]

I would suggest a good physical with blood work from her doctor. Have them check Vit D, Vit B, thyroid, anemia, sugars, etc.----basically the comprehensive Chem plus a few. It could be that some thing is off there.

 

I think that a good counselor might be very helpful as well. Medication might be needed at some point but I would look at other options first.

 

 

 

 

I agree with the PP. Get a complete bloodwork done. I would take a hard look at B12 levels. Quite a few anxiety issues can stem from a B 12 or sometimes, a magnesium deficiency.

 

Fwiw, If I miss one day of my B complex vits (particularly B 12) anxiety takes over my life.

 

 

I had no idea that a vitamin deficiency or anemia or thyroid issues could manifest in such a way. I will call her dr and see what she says. As for talking to someone, I don't know if that would help or not. She's at that awkward, very private stage right now. We do talk most nights before bed, but not quite so much as we used to.

 

Oh, the poor kid. Does practicing with family help?

 

 

We have tried that, and it helps a tiny bit. If she thinks she is the least bit unprepared it is much worse, so she tends to over-prepare, which is another stress for her.

[ebunny]

 

I had no idea that a vitamin deficiency or anemia or thyroid issues could manifest in such a way. I will call her dr and see what she says.

 

 

I have a thyroid disorder and thefore am prone to calcium/magnesium, Iron, Vitamin A and B complex deficiency. My anxiety can stem from any of the above minerals/vitamins being low. I am also a vegetarian, so I need to take a high potency B12.

HTH.

 

[Tea 4 Three]

A couple of books we have found very helpful for helping my dd 15 with anxiety...Similar story to what you posted about your dd. These books have lots of practical strategies to help them cognitively manage their fears and anxiety.

 

http://www.amazon.com/My-Anxious-Mind-Managing-Anxiety/dp/1433804506/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366138558&sr=8-1&keywords=anxiety+teen

http://www.amazon.com/Helping-Anxious-Child-Step---Step/dp/1572245751/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1366138608&sr=1-1&keywords=helping+your+anxious+child