Bored 3yo?

[TKDmom]

I'm sure this topic has been discussed ad nauseum....but I don't know what to do with my 3.5yo who is turning into a monster. I know she is bored. She climbs on the school table and whines and throws temper tantrums. She doesn't want to play outside or play with toys. She doesn't want to listen in with anybody else's read-alouds. She's even starting to claim that she doesn't want me to read her own books to her. She pretty much begs me to turn on "shows" for her all day long.

 

It's a struggle to get my older kids through a full day of school in one day (so I rarely assign them play time with her), and my 7yo just torments her when I ask him to play with her. She's getting ignored way too much. I had her in preschool last fall, and she loved it, but she was getting sick all the time and it wasn't worth the cost.

 

Now I'm considering putting her back in preschool. But it seems like I'm just shirking my parental duties. 3yo's NEED their Mommies, right? Today it occurred to me that tomato staking would be very good for her. She was in the middle of a whining fit when I took her by the hand (or carried her when she refused to walk) and cheerfully insisted that she "help" me with laundry. Within 5 minutes she perked up and enjoyed helping me. But my older two kids got maybe half their schoolwork done, because I wasn't looking over their shoulders keeping them on task.

 

I don't take her to the park anywhere near as often as my others went when they were preschoolers, because I'm always trying to push older kids through school work. I feel like I'm totally depriving this kid of a those fun preschool years.

 

How do you balance toddlers' need for Mommy and free play time with homeschooling multiple children over the age of seven??

[Arboreal TJ]

My older kids are only 6, they don't do school at the same time. The kid not doing school is assigned to keep the 3 yr old entertained. It works well most days.

[Punchie]

I can't really give advice on how to fix it, but I can commiserate. My oldest gets the vast majority of my attention and I feel like a bad parent b/c my younger two get the short end of the stick. I haven't figured out how to balance school and playtime.

[roanna]

My kids are just about 7 and 3 1/2. My daughter was doing the same thing. I try to do any involved/non-independent work with my son when she has a quiet time/nap time. She has to stay in her room for 1 hour if she naps or not. Then maybe you could reverse it... have the older kids spend some quiet reading time in rooms while you take your 3 yr old to the kitchen to cook together or play Chutes and Ladders where you are not pulled in different directions by the other kids. Susan Wise Bauer had a good video on quiet times and how her kids HAD to have time in their rooms, no exceptions. It feels very good at my house when I stick to it too.

 

Is there anything with the school aged kids that can be done at night , like your read aloud or history reading?

[FromA2Z]

Please take this with a grain of salt as I only have 2 who are 3.5 and almost 5.

 

I would try to include her in school and give her a place at the "table" as much as possible. Have "tot trays" (blocks, puzzles, matching games, etc - see 1+1+1=1 for ideas) ready for her to use, Kumon maze, cut and paste, tracing books are great. Schedule alternating times (in between instructing older kids) to spend a few minutes with her to get her started in on a new task. Give her play-doh, Legos, etc. to work on during read alouds. Set aside toys to be used "only" during school time. Have as much stuff ready to go before school starts have what she needs to do the activities in the bins (work boxes) before scho starts so you won't have to take time out trying to "find" things.

 

Even with the older kids, go to the park! Schedule it as gym time and have the older kids kick the soccer ball around, shoot hoops, have batting practice, tennis, etc while she plays on the playground. Go on nature walks together while having the older kids journal, etc.

 

Quiet time is your friend. We currently do "school" in the morning, have outside time followed by lunch, chores, and quiet time. By the time quiet time is over they are eager to get "out" and finish the rest of school. They have free time from about four on. Too much free time and my kids want to park in front of the TV. I'm assuming "shows" means she just wants to watch TV all the time. You may have to severely limit her to break this habit. But of course it will probably be hard in the beginning. I would try to take a few days off to get a bunch of things ready for her that you can rotate through. You might try something like AAR- Pre-1 or Confessions of a Homeschooler's LOTW.

 

I know a lot of moms spend an hour or so with their preschooler and send them on their way while they work w/ the rest of the kids. If this doesn't work for you then I suggest spend 5 minutes with her every time you switch older kids. (Preschooler, child A, preschooler, child B, preschooler, child c, preschooler, child d then back through again. Anyone waiting for your attention b/c you are working with another "could" spend that time also with the preschooler.

 

IOW

Keep her in the school area with you

 

Have lots of activities ready to go for her (that she enjoys) that are ONLY done during school time.

 

Give her your full attention frequently during school time for short periods. Especially before read alouds etc.

 

Have each older kid spend time with her (reading, play-doh, crafts, etc) when they have "down time" and keep it in the same room.

 

Implement park/playground/walks for everyone on a regular basis.

 

Implement quiet times for everyone

 

Planning and preparedness is the key. (Which I know is tough)

 

Eventually your dd will be added into the schooling mix so why not plan on spending that time with her now?

 

Like I said this is all theoretical as I only have 2 and I'm not into K yet! It is just how I'd do it if I were in your situation. In January I started K work with my oldest and even though I had activities available for ds3 AND I did "together" things for both, my ds3 kept interrupting my teaching time with the eldest. So I changed it around to do things together, then 1:1 with ds4 and then 1:1 with ds3, together, ds4, ds3 etc. While working 1:1 with one, the other has some activity in a workbox to do. Adding in that 1:1 time with ds3 changed everything. I did start AAR Pre-1 with him for one of his 1:1 times but they do NOT have to be "schoolwork".

 

I HTH in any small way.

 

 

 

 

[Ritsumei]

My 2.5yo is the same way; if I exclude him it's awful. I've found that including him in school has worked better than anything else I tried. If we're reading SOTW or read alouds both boys get a related coloring sheet. Dragon knows his letters & sounds, and when I do phonics with Hero I offer it to Dragon as well. He very seldom turns it down. He's been playing with our rods during math time for a long time, but now that his one-to-one correspondence is developing I've been offering a little more explicit instruction, and he *loves* it. When we do Japanese he tags along too and seems to be learning the words faster than the 6yo, though I don't know how much meaning he's picking up.

 

At our house, the conflict created by excluding him was taking a terrible toll. I know there is a significant group here that thinks kids this young are too young for academics, but this 2.5 is thriving on it. Including him has greatly reduced behavior issues. I spend less time growling at him over messes and he is smiling more again. For us, the solution has been to let the little guy participate, within the limits of his ability & attention span.

[bakpak]

I'm wondering if your DD is sensitive to noise and is just getting overwhelmed? Or is too much TV-time affecting her behavior? I don't let my DD3.5 watch much TV, but occasionally she's watched a 'little' more, and I've seen more behaviors like you describe. She gets really crabby, doesn't listen, asks often to see MORE TV, tantrums, etc. It's only been fixed by cutting out all TV for awhile (a few weeks), then she resets.

 

Similarly, I was wondering if there's so much going on at your house that she's getting overwhelmed/over-stimulated? I can see her reacting the same way...just feeling out of sorts because she's not in her comfort zone but not able to articulate or realize what the problem is. I was wondering if you could take some nice quiet time with just her early in the morning away from the group and see if that helps her. Then when you bring her back to the group, have a specific project she can work on.

[hmvaughan4]

I only have a six year old and my three year old, but here is our routine. DS3 has two different Abeka workbooks. He does one page from each book per day. I get DS6 started on something he can do independently for a few minutes, then go over the pages with DS3 (what is in the picture, what color he has to find to color the page, counting the objects on the page, etc.). DS3 works on his pages while I work with DS6. DS3 also has Kumon cutting books that he completes a page or two each day. After that, he watches one Leapfrog movie on the iPad and then works on a writing app to practice his letters. I'm planning a similar routine next year, but adding HWOT. DS3 has access to plenty of puzzles and educational games as well, but he begs for his "schoolwork."

[Holly]

I think we may have the same 3yo! :lol: I don't have much advice...although I've been trying many of the suggestions over the last few weeks. We have been cutting back TV time (even during non-school hours), having lots of discussion about attitude, and I started LHTH so she'd have her own school time...I also have issues with the older ones not working independently unless I'm supervising. We are also working on this. My DD doesn't care much for toys (never has), so that's not really an option. She does like dry erase markers and board which gives us 15 minutes or so of peace...until the older ones start begging for a board to play with!

[TKDmom]

I'm wondering if your DD is sensitive to noise and is just getting overwhelmed? Or is too much TV-time affecting her behavior? I don't let my DD3.5 watch much TV, but occasionally she's watched a 'little' more, and I've seen more behaviors like you describe. She gets really crabby, doesn't listen, asks often to see MORE TV, tantrums, etc. It's only been fixed by cutting out all TV for awhile (a few weeks), then she resets.

 

Similarly, I was wondering if there's so much going on at your house that she's getting overwhelmed/over-stimulated? I can see her reacting the same way...just feeling out of sorts because she's not in her comfort zone but not able to articulate or realize what the problem is. I was wondering if you could take some nice quiet time with just her early in the morning away from the group and see if that helps her. Then when you bring her back to the group, have a specific project she can work on.

 

She's the one making all the noise. :p When she's away the house is very quiet and everyone else can focus well enough to get their schoolwork done before our afternoon activities.

 

But her behavior definitely goes downhill when she has had too much access to TV. I feel like I really just need a few clones so she can have the attention she needs and the older kids can complete their work and the house could actually get cleaned up--all in the same day.

[ItoLina]

My just turned 3 year old has to be included in school or its a nightmare. She sits at the table with us, plays with the c-rods, colors a "worksheet", listens to brother read a story, etc. I have started giving her one "special" school assignment each day and she LIVES for this. It's things like cut the lines on the paper, make a picture with stamps, sort the buttons by color, etc. she gets so excited and asks almost every morning at breakfast what her work is for the day. Trying to send her off to do her own thing didn't work here at all.

[Ecclecticmum]

1. Is she getting one-on-one time? Like taken away from all the other kids, sat on her mummys lap, snuggled and being read to? Or being able to sit there and play a game or something with just you for a few minutes everyday? This helps.

 

2. Kids at this age LOVE to imitate, therefore you have to give them something to imitate. Reading a book or sitting there talking doesn't give her much to go by. Letting her join in YOUR activities (cooking dinner, and yes doing the washing, cleaning/dusting/sweeping).

 

3. Look at Counting Coconuts blog for ideas. If you really need time that your just not getting (after all happy mummy = days that don't fall apart :p ) then something like Kumon First Steps or Core Knowledge Preschool + Activity Books. If you have time Activity Bags are fun.

 

4. When Main Lessons are going here, I have duplicate of my kids Main Lesson Books that I give to E (these are basically blank artist sketchpads) so she can join in on the lesson if she wants. I also have 3 tubs of various Math Manipulatives that she can pull outduring school time and play with.

 

5. Another option is Sensory Tubs or some offshoot thereof. I have seen people use their bathtubs for Sensory tubs (well for messy ones anyway), or just doing a toned down version of Lentil Science (i.e. plastic tub, lotsa lentils and various containers, let her have at it).

 

3/4 there is this small phase they can go through where everything causes a meltdown/tantrum. Half the time I doubt she remembers why she's crying. Remember (as they supposedly say) this too, shall pass. It seems like this phase lasts forever, but it really doesn't (my lil one is currently in this phase, so I do understand). If you don't reply within the specified short time period (i.e. usually about 1 millisecond) and with the correct answer and phrasing, its bound to start another meltdown. It happens. rofl. After going through this particular phase with 3 kids, (plus the numerous kids I dealt with in my previous job) I have gotten to the point where I can make this perfectly commiserating coo/aww, that seems to settle them down when they start. Commiserating with their upset-ness seems to help, who knew? Misery loves company. :laugh:

 

I'm pretty well laid back, but I do have very firm boundary areas. And I make sure these lines aren't crossed. You also have to remember to just let the stress roll off your shoulders some how (either via prayer, a quick quiet walk, meditation etc). I use a simple mediation method. I go somewhere quiet (or as quiet & blocked off it can be at that time, even if its the toilet :lol: ) close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing. I imagine each inhale is white,bright & pure, is relaxing and calming, and each exhale is black/dark and is all the negative energy/anger being exhaled from my body. Works quite suprisingly well. After a few breaths, I'm calm & centred and can successfuly divert the child onto something more meaningful than her sitting on the floor pitying herself loudly. :nopity:

 

I have plenty more ideas (whether I'll forget them or not by later I have no idea) but just depends on your situation.

 

HTH xxx :willy_nilly:

[Walking-Iris]

What helps me deal with my 2 year old (she'll be 3 in a few months) is to give her time first thing. I hang out with her in the morning in bed. We snuggle, talk, and have a shortish picture book (set out night before) that I read. My boys are either still asleep or getting into whatever they can get into in the kitchen. I let her help with all of my cooking and cleaning (the boys do to of course.)

 

I also do activities with the littles first. BrainGym, and some workbox (actually more like work ziploc freezer bags) activity with her.

http://pinterest.com/walkingiris/homeschooling-preschool/

 

This is where I get most of my ideas. I set out math manipulatives on a cafeteria tray and she does "math" while I do math with my Kinder and set up my oldest. My 5 year old is good about playing with her when I'm doing stuff with my oldest.

 

I also have a area for her in the kitchen, a play doh caddy and a tub of beans with various scoops and small plastic bugs etc. She can entertain herself quietly for a good half hour with a mason jar of water and some food coloing. Basically I let her trash the kitchen while we work. ;) I think that's key---let them make a mess, do something. I don't even worry about where the food coloring or beans are going and she's happy. A huge tub of Legos helps too.

 

I include her in any art, science, or history project we do. Regardless of age or level. She's colored her fair share of SOTW coloring sheets. My favorite example is making marshmallow molecules. She still can entertain herself happily with a bag of marshmallows and toothpicks. Basically I just try to check in with her. Doing a spelling list with my ds I may stop and glance to her and comment on what she's doing.

 

http://www.rainbowresource.com/searchspring.php?q=sing+spell+read+write+activity+sheets

 

I've started giving her these lately during those times she really wants to "do school".

 

And definitely put the brakes on the tv. We even literally removed the set from the house for about 8 months. I now allow it on weekends and together as a family in the evenings (and recently when we were all pretty ill with flu we resorted to it). I do let her mouse around on the computer however. Redfishsoup (poissonrouge) is a really gentle and fun website for little ones.

[Guest Szarban]

I only have one right now, so I don't have experience with having to keep one busy while working with another yet. I do understand turning into a monster though, its the same with my 2.5 DD, she is BORED. It's a good part of the reason i started her on pre-k work. She wants something to do, not toys, not coloring, and not anything else but something different and interesting. We started working first a calendar time and then a LOTW program (which we stretch out over about two weeks) a couple of months ago and she seems generally much happier (she is two, so we still have meltdowns occasionally of course). My favorite sites to pull things from are Confessions of a Homeschooler, 1+1+1=1, and No Time for Flashcards. They also have links to several more sites with more resources. Right now, I just keep all our activities for the week in a plastic file folder that I can pull out, but I would eventually like to switch to trays or bins that she can pull out and use herself. I try to sit down with her in the morning and "do school" at least three to four days a week as our scheduled time, but if she starts acting up I'll pull the folder out and let her do some stuff any time or day. I also try to plan three or so projects we can do each week, sometimes with our scheduled school time, sometimes just when she seems bored. No Time for Flashcards has several that can be varied to suit multiple age groups at the same time, which might work really well for you. If you have a grandparent or other relative who is local and would be willing to get in on school, you may want to schedule a "school and play date" for her one day a week (though I would suggest providing the lesson plan and materials and maybe working through them with it the first time or two). I am at my Mom's house every Thursday for laundry day, so we plan some school work and an activity or project that she can do with Grammy. Not only does this give her a change of pace, but some special time with Grammy, the knowledge that someone besides Mom is interested in what she is doing, and occasionally the chance to play teacher and "show" Grammy how to do some of the work. You probably already have some different kind of stations set up around the house for your older ones, so I won't worry about suggesting that. I hope some of this helped somehow and best of luck!!