justamouse Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I think much of this is going to be how I react to her and with her. I knew a good bit of it was me being so reactionary and letting things get to me. I come from a family like that though. We are loud passionate people, lol. But I have to tone it down for her. Remember that long thread where Tranquil Mind was sharing her relationship with her Dd and all they did was engage each other? And TM had to learn to disengage? I can't find that thread...ugh.... Anyway, you cannot react. Biggest lesson I had to learn. THEY Can be angry, I must be calm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Do you really want me to answer this? If I do, you may not like it. I'm serious. I was thinking the same thing, though my answer would be along the line of, "Just survive her 15th year. It will get better!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Remember that long thread where Tranquil Mind was sharing her relationship with her Dd and all they did was engage each other? And TM had to learn to disengage? I can't find that thread...ugh.... Anyway, you cannot react. Biggest lesson I had to learn. THEY Can be angry, I must be calm. Funny. I just quoted you and then after the post went through, I see that you mentioned me. Yes, it's impossible. But don't engage. And just go into survival mode. This year will pass and she will have to suffer with the consequences of not doing well. Things will be harder in the future. This eventually sinks in. Even my 13 year old (who is a lot easier to deal with) is getting this already, and working hard on his own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 When my kids are persnickity, I have a mental list I run down. Are they eating well? Are they getting enough sleep. Are they taking their vitamins? (You would be surprised how this effects them. If I don't take my iron, I don't want to get out of bed. Period. When I take it? I can rule the world, you'd better get out of my way. The difference is night and day. When I was in HS my mother didn't see that I was anemic. I would come home from school and sleep until dinner, eat, do homework and go back to sleep. All I needed was some iron). I suggest you have her do into the Dr for a physical and everyone's iron levels isn't 'right' at 11. At 11, I still don't want to get out of bed. ;-) Girls need fish oil to help regulate their hormones during their cycles. It's just something you have to take into consideration when you think about girls. We can control this stuff because we're adults, but I distinctly remember having that conversation with my oldest DD about how you don't get to be a bitch because you have PMS. It's a hard lesson in self control. You have to have that conversation with girls. We have battled severe depression in my house, and anxiety that prohibited even getting int he car. An excellent diet, vitamins and light exercise has enabled them to get off meds. I know people don't want to hear that, and it's not the case in every situation, but if anyone could have seen this person before, and now, the difference is night and day. Simply with the right food. There is a lot of wisdom in this post. I wouldn't immediately go to medication. I've noticed a difference in my own family members when we eat right, as opposed to when we eat things that don't agree with us (and this can be different for different people). Everyone acts a lot worse when they are eating sugar or dyes (not husband - he's a rock). I feel worse when I eat gluten, I've noticed. My often-cranky daughter even said to me that she couldn't wait for her break because I would feed her good foods and her face would clear up. There's just a lot to be addressed there first before heading for medications, in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 True, but it's also full blown teenagerism. Yes! Age 15 was the worst so far...by far. Things are improving here, just because time is passing (as well as a few other changes). Stay encouraged! It won't always be this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Mama, is it possible that you are also struggling with depression? Read your comments again on this thread- there is a lot of negativity there. I understand it's a hard situation and you are struggling with her actions, but your words also say to me that you may need some help. Or maybe she is just having a really bad day, and is on overload and it spilled out onto her keyboard. People do do this, without being depressed. Been there, done that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Eight hours of sleep is not enough sleep for a teenager. I'm curious why the seminary classes are so early. My dh never had classes earlier than 7:30 am when he was in seminary. No, 8 hours is definitely NOT long enough. My kid sleeps at least 10 hours every night, and sometimes 14 on the weekend! They are growing rapidly, especially the youngest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Eight hours of sleep is not enough sleep for a teenager. I'm curious why the seminary classes are so early. My dh never had classes earlier than 7:30 am when he was in seminary. where I live, high school started at 7:20 so seminary always started at 6am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 Or maybe she is just having a really bad day, and is on overload and it spilled out onto her keyboard. People do do this, without being depressed. Been there, done that. It was an awful almost week! That day, I had enough...today was a little more rocky, but only because she was upset about something she did that she knew better than to do and tried to talk her way out of with her normal array of excuses, lol. Not happening. I simply explained that a rule was broken and that was that. She went on to her room to do something else other than what she wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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