Live2Ride Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) Why are some parents so 'out there'? I want to shake them and say "What is wrong with you?" :glare: I rearranged my day to accommodate an appointment to meet with a girl I'm going to start homeschooling. This WILL NOT be an easy job. I know it, the dad and stepmother knows it, the mother lets the preteen do pretty much what she wants...pierce your nose, sure, put barrels in your ears, no problem, pierce your lip, why not. She has o'ded on some over the counter meds once recently. She was falling into the wrong crowd at school and soon going to be kicked out. She has missed way too much school; some of it due to sickness and some to the drug issue... At this point the school would fail her for the year anyways. The mother decided to let the girl dictate the fact that she didn't want to come today...when asked to reschedule and it was denied (I won't be available), the mother decides to not even respond and just not come...there was nothing preventing the child from coming. The docs have cleared her. She also knows me and my kids. We are all friends. I am glad the child will be returning to her father this week. He and his wife will make sure she gets here... Any tips for me to help a girl who I feel is looking for attention/validation, but just in the wrong ways? She's smart and has learned how to work things with her mom...I am not a pushover at all. Edited November 14, 2012 by CountryGirl2 spelling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I would make why she is here, why you are there, what the ground rules are, etc. crystal clear from the beginning. In writing possibly, and sign a contract with her on expectations. If you doubt the parents, have them sign one too. (You can explain it as a way to "ensure success".) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 the mother lets the PRETEEN do pretty much what she wants...pierce your nose, sure, put barrels in your ears, no problem, pierce your lip, why not. She has o'ded on some over the counter meds once recently. She was falling into the wrong crowd at school and soon going to be kicked out. This is a preteen you're talking about? This just makes me so sad... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I rearranged my day to accommodate an appointment to meet with a girl I'm going to start homeschooling. Slightly off topic, but I thought it was illegal to homeschool anyone other than your own child. :grouphug: It sounds like the family has a lot of struggles. You have a long road ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 In terms of your part: the homeschooling, who is in charge: the dad and step mom or the mom? I'd say based on what you've written if mom has the control, this set up won't last long. While it may seem the mom is giving her dd everything she wants, I suspect mom does pretty much what she herself wants to do, too. Which means dd isn't as spoiled as physical appearances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Slightly off topic, but I thought it was illegal to homeschool anyone other than your own child. :grouphug: It sounds like the family has a lot of struggles. You have a long road ahead. Depends on the state law. In our state you can home school one other family's children. I imagine in some states you can do more than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Slightly off topic, but I thought it was illegal to homeschool anyone other than your own child.... Depends on your state, and what exactly is encompassed by "homeschooling" someone. For example, in my state, the instruction can be farmed out to anyone; the parents are ultimately responsible for the provision of instruction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 :grouphug: It sounds like the family has a lot of struggles. You have a long road ahead. :iagree: You're much braver than I :001_smile:. Are the girl and her mother having any counselling sessions to help deal with the drug issues? It sounds as though it'll take more intervention than just having somebody else homeschool the girl to resolve their problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Slightly off topic, but I thought it was illegal to homeschool anyone other than your own child. . I'd check your statutes. I don't envy you this job! But if you can get through to her, it will be worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferB Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I would have a meeting/talk to find out what is important to her and ask her how she thinks you might contribute to her education and her personhood, etc. Find out her strengths and weaknesses and any holes in her education. Does she have goals, dreams for her future? Stuff like that. In WA state we can't homeschool someone else's child unless the parent is doing 30 hrs and you are just supplementing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindyD Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I think everyone needs to sit down and clearly dictate the rules for this. I'm assuming they're paying you, so I'd build in consequences for cancelling like having to pay for the time anyway, or a small fee for every cancelled meeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) This is a preteen you're talking about? This just makes me so sad... Yep I would have a meeting/talk to find out what is important to her and ask her how she thinks you might contribute to her education and her personhood, etc. Find out her strengths and weaknesses and any holes in her education. Does she have goals, dreams for her future? Stuff like that. That's what I plan to do. I want this to be successful for her. I think she wants to succeed, but I think she is confused at how to go about it properly. I am planning to draw up some papers this weekend covering a multitude of things. I plan to have all involved sign them. The mother only gets weekend visits and some holidays, but it's obviously enough to mess things up...if she can't make it here then shes going to an public/alternative school and that is not where she needs to be either...I want to push her in a positive direction... Edited November 14, 2012 by CountryGirl2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 Slightly off topic, but I thought it was illegal to homeschool anyone other than your own child. :grouphug: It sounds like the family has a lot of struggles. You have a long road ahead. Not where I live Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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