jejily Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Has anyone ever done this? This situation has a long back story, but the bottom line is that it was kind of my suggestion (offered as way to help this struggling mom), and I am not opposed it. This child is one year ahead of my DS, but the material I would be teaching (history, science, language arts, Bible) would still be fine for him (he's a little behind his peers, anyway). His mom would be teaching him math on their own time, along with any other special subjects. In one way, it would be a sort of co-operative effort between this child's mom and me, but mostly on me. Again, I'm not opposed to that -- I really enjoy teaching, and would rather do it my way, anyway! :tongue_smilie:I'm prepping for one -- why not prep for two, since it's the same material? I am not asking for money or compensation, only that the child provide his own supplies and purchase his own consumables. I said I would do it for 9 weeks as a "trial period" and see how it goes. My biggest fear is the impact it would have on my interaction/relationship with my own son -- that it might somehow interfere with the bonding he and I have been doing since we started this wonderful adventure. Am I just crazy for even considering this? I think I want to do this, but wonder if I'm setting myself up for a big headache and potential problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSMP Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I have, but they were my nieces and I am the Auntie everyone is threatened with....which I really object to you know...:001_huh:!!! As the kids will all tell my family, Aunt Ginger means business.....even with picky eaters. What are your states guidelines on that one......I know some of the states are pretty picky about who a person homeschools. I'm not sure about the bonding issue unless this child is going to require more of your time away from your son.....is he a discipline problem? If you go with this make sure you have some guidelines to protect yourself and your son...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kls126s Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 What a coincidence - I am in the exact same situation. I just posted a thread with a different slant on the same situation, but your questions are very relevant for me too. I'll be watching for plenty of input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jejily Posted July 21, 2008 Author Share Posted July 21, 2008 I have, but they were my nieces and I am the Auntie What are your states guidelines on that one......I know some of the states are pretty picky about who a person homeschools. Oooooh, I hadn't even thought of this. I guess I better check that out. I have no idea if the child is a discipline problem or not. I think he has some attention issues, but I've had that problem with my own kids, so I feel I know how to (and could) handle it. What a coincidence - I am in the exact same situation. I just posted a thread with a different slant on the same situation, but your questions are very relevant for me too. I'll be watching for plenty of input. Really, I love the idea of a cottage school. I'll be watching your thread, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamato4 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 In some states, if the child is not related to you, it's not considered homeschooling, but "tutoring." There might be different rules or guidelines. And to be honest, even in the bestest of scenarios, there is bound to be problems. I'm not trying to discourage you. I actually applaud you for being such a great friend. Maybe put down in writing who's going to teach what so there is no confusion or anything getting missed. Blessings, Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Do you belong to HSLDA? Not sure if they what there stand on this is, but I remember there being a question about it on the application. If that is a consideration you might want to give them a call or see if anything on their website addresses this question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lydia Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I would definitely check into the laws in your state. In my state (WI), it states on the application for home-based private educational program that the instruction can be provided by a parent or guardian, or by someone designated by the parent or guardian, but that the program cannot provide instruction to more than one family unit. I think this means that in WI you cannot teach children from your family plus another family. But perhaps in such a case you could register as a private school rather than a home-school. And I am sure it varies state to state, so it may not be an issue in your state. Best wishes, Lydia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSMP Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Do you belong to HSLDA? Not sure if they what there stand on this is, but I remember there being a question about it on the application. If that is a consideration you might want to give them a call or see if anything on their website addresses this question. Good suggestion....I forgot about that line.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 only one semester. It was okay, but, I really missed the dynamic I had with just my dc. I also felt really constricted in our schedule. This child was used to a public school setting and the mom, who is a wonderful friend of mine, kept asking me if it was okay that we were only doing school from 8-1 every day. I had to remind her that we don't have the problems getting organized and transitioning, so we save time. On the other hand, when that child returned to school, the teacher couldn't believe how much she had done and what we had covered. She was wondering how she would fit back into her class since she was so much farther ahead now! So that was cool for me!:D I think Joanne homeschools or tutors others. Maybe post on the general board, too, where she frequents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I did it for just over a year with a boy 6 months older than my oldest, a girl- they were 12 at the time. This was a troubled boy, connected to my family (my husband's ex's son, therefore this boy and my kids share a half sister who is 19). The pros- someone else to play with in breaks. I wanted to give more, felt I could take on another child, etc. So it felt good to do that. I did get paid $50 a week to cover costs and food. Discussions are good with an extra child. The problems I ended up having were: This boy is not an 'open' lad like my own kids- he would be well behaved and polite to my face, then undermine me behind my face. I never felt I had a genuine, warm connection with him. I did end up resenting the extra marking, I must admit. Even though he worked at the same grade level as my older, he was strong in maths, she was strong in English, so they ended up doing different things anyway. Socialising became an issue- his mum worked full time, so this kid's whole social life in the homeschooling world ended up depending on me. Which was ok, but since I only had him during the day weekdays, he ended up not getting to really make solid connections with other kids, have sleepovers or weekend playtimes. So he never felt as included as my kids. One thing that ended up bugging me was that I used our evening read aloud time to read books that were in some way connected with our schooling, even though to the kids they were just fun read alouds- they were carefully chosen. And this other boy didnt have a mum who read aloud to him. So I did extra during schooltime, but I couldn't really compensate for the lack of it at home. It did affect my own kids and our relationship- I felt this kid kind of got in the way of our previous close relationship, because he wasn't used to that kind of closeness with his own parents- he was used to some level of separateness, and also antagonism. In the end, the crunch came when for some reason the mum refused to follow up on my asking this boy to finish the last 50 pages of Treasure Island at home over the summer school holidays. He was a reluctant reader, he had read the rest of the book during our schooltime, seemed to enjoy it, and I asked that he finish it at home. We had been through several books that he said he didn't enjoy so I didn't make him finish them, and I wasn't willing to keep doing that- he needed to read whether he really enjoyed it or not (and I could tell he didn't mind it too much, he was just not used to reading). He told his mum that he just didn't like it and didn't want to finish it, and she supported him and told ME she thought I was being too hard on him making him finish it. I explained my case to her, that he kept not finishing books and this time we needed to follow through, and she just stated hers more strongly. That was very much the final straw for me, because it's hard enough, but without the other parent's involvement, it's harder, and without their SUPPORT, its actually impossible. So I said I wasnt willing to homeschool him any more. She went into massive regret, and during the next year, this kid's first year in highschool (year 8 where I am ) he would refuse to go to school, he made bad friends, he got into trouble, he became fairly delinquent, and the mother was very, very sorry at how she had handled things with me and realised she had missed a great opportunity for her son. But i wasn't prepared to try again. Nowadays he is coming through his bad patch, with some mentoring from my husband and some tough love from his mum. But I am glad I didn't take him on any further- it was much more work than I expected it would be. In a way I think it would be easier to take on a younger child than an older one. But maybe it was just my unique situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzannah Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I remember a discussion about this a very long time ago on the old boards. I think the trial period is good. You would probably also want to draw up a contract so everyone knows what to expect. This would include things like following through on homework, who is responsible for teaching what, meals, materials, errands, doctor's appointments, vacations.... Anything you can think of that might be an issue should be addressed up front so there's no confusion later. It may be a little uncomfortable to talk about discipline or money when everyone is happy and excited to begin the new year, but if the situation presents itself in the middle of the year when everyone has already made their plans it will be more stressful and difficult to change them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.