Hoggirl Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 My ds is a junior. He has a LOT going on right now - PSAT, upcoming college visit with a trial music lesson included, ACT at the end of October, big piano competition the first weekend in November, working on Eagle Scout project, SAT Subject tests in December. Whew! It stresses me out just thinking about it, and I am only a spectator and chauffeur! I do think things will lighten up next semester a bit. He is very organized and a good manager of his time and pretty "steady Eddie" in his temperament. He did admit to me last night that he is feeling pretty stressed with all of this going on right now. He's never been one to be stressed but this is more than he usually has going on. I had always heard junior year was a stressor. So, what sorts of things do you do with/for your dc to help them get through stressful times? Just anything extra special you might do for them or ways you have to reassure them. It was ds's choice to retake the ACT and to do so in October. He already has a strong score, but wanted to take it again. He really wanted to get ALL his testing done this fall as he is on the school's quiz bowl team and they have many weekend tournaments in the spring. He didn't want to miss any of those b/c of standardized testing. But, I am wondering if it is just too much. Kinda too late now, so how can I best help him deal with the pressure? Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 My DD has a very stressful semester, too. She is taking two demanding courses at the university, with lots of homework, and has scheduled several standardized tests. I can help by reminding her to get enough sleep and exercise, by providing good nutrition, and by trying to help her to put things into perspective (as in, no, a few missed points on a quiz will NOT cause her to fail the course). Beyond that, I can only stand by and watch her figure out what to do: how to study effectively, how to use small portions of time, how much effort to put into each assignment. I can cheer her on, reassure her that she is doing great - but the stress if there, and I do not think I can lessen it; she needs to learn to live with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandigirl Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Oh wow just reading this made be break out in the nervous little laugh with a hint of crazy. I am going into my junior classes in Nov and taking the PSAT in 9 days and the SAT in Dec. I feel like I am going to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. If he is anything like me there is NOTHING you can say to him to make him feel less stressed. Just sit back hope he doesn't have a stroke and then you'll get your son back. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 My DD has a very stressful semester, too. She is taking two demanding courses at the university, with lots of homework, and has scheduled several standardized tests.I can help by reminding her to get enough sleep and exercise, by providing good nutrition, and by trying to help her to put things into perspective (as in, no, a few missed points on a quiz will NOT cause her to fail the course). Beyond that, I can only stand by and watch her figure out what to do: how to study effectively, how to use small portions of time, how much effort to put into each assignment. I can cheer her on, reassure her that she is doing great - but the stress if there, and I do not think I can lessen it; she needs to learn to live with it. Good advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 Oh wow just reading this made be break out in the nervous little laugh with a hint of crazy. I am going into my junior classes in Nov and taking the PSAT in 9 days and the SAT in Dec. I feel like I am going to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. If he is anything like me there is NOTHING you can say to him to make him feel less stressed. Just sit back hope he doesn't have a stroke and then you'll get your son back. Good luck! Hang in there! I am really looking forward to Christmas break at this point. Even just being a spectator to all he has going on is hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I remind mine that all things will get done and life continues on. Sometimes we take breaks to watch a Sitcom. Sometimes we take a break to play a game. Breaks are good for the brain (in reality - not just as stress relief - the brain can tackle something better after a break and laughter is good for keeping health up as well as just plain fun). And I try to keep a supply of his favorite candy on hand so he can give himself little breaks too. I wish I could do all of this for middle son. He reports that his last Bio test (this past Thursday) was brutal and no one he knows finished it. They had 12 pages to do in 90 minutes with most problems being the thinking variety... He's my perfectionist. He won't know how he did until next week's curve is announced. I find myself wishing we could go up there and do both (watching a sitcom together and playing a family game) in order to let his brain relax. Him? He's rebounding by studying for Calc... and doing more Chem problems. I'm not sure that really helps... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 I remind mine that all things will get done and life continues on. Sometimes we take breaks to watch a Sitcom. Sometimes we take a break to play a game. Breaks are good for the brain (in reality - not just as stress relief - the brain can tackle something better after a break and laughter is good for keeping health up as well as just plain fun). And I try to keep a supply of his favorite candy on hand so he can give himself little breaks too. I wish I could do all of this for middle son. He reports that his last Bio test (this past Thursday) was brutal and no one he knows finished it. They had 12 pages to do in 90 minutes with most problems being the thinking variety... He's my perfectionist. He won't know how he did until next week's curve is announced. I find myself wishing we could go up there and do both (watching a sitcom together and playing a family game) in order to let his brain relax. Him? He's rebounding by studying for Calc... and doing more Chem problems. I'm not sure that really helps... I can imagine it's much different being on the parent side. I can remember frantic calls to my mom after taking tests in college. Most of the time for no reason at all as the results would turn out fine. We watched The Big Bang Theory last night. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I can imagine it's much different being on the parent side. I can remember frantic calls to my mom after taking tests in college. Most of the time for no reason at all as the results would turn out fine. We watched The Big Bang Theory last night. ;) That's one of our favorites to watch too. ;) Middle son sent an e-mail saying he went to the Bio Prof's office today and was told, "Don't worry, you know the material" so he now feels better. He'll still get his grade on Wednesday (and I've no idea if the prof looked at his test or not), but at least he is utilizing his options of checking with the prof! And at least he feels less stressed out - or at least he says he feels less stressed out. He's still my perfectionist. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 making sure ds is getting plenty of physical activity has been key for ds. Like your ds, Oct is a heavy testing month (SAT/ACT/pSAT, college mid-terms), but on top of that he has the added stress of knowing that we are most likely moving between semesters and we have to get in a college application for our new location by the end of Nov so that he can continue taking math and science next semester. He is stressed (more than he realizes b/c he acts like he isn't) but he has not had any appetite and has lost a lot of weight (he was a tall, lean kid to begin w/) So.....adding in lots of extra calories is also dr orders. (literally) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 making sure ds is getting plenty of physical activity has been key for ds. Like your ds, Oct is a heavy testing month (SAT/ACT/pSAT, college mid-terms), but on top of that he has the added stress of knowing that we are most likely moving between semesters and we have to get in a college application for our new location by the end of Nov so that he can continue taking math and science next semester. He is stressed (more than he realizes b/c he acts like he isn't) but he has not had any appetite and has lost a lot of weight (he was a tall, lean kid to begin w/) So.....adding in lots of extra calories is also dr orders. (literally) Interesting. My ds's appetite has waned as well. I hadn't thought that it might be stress related. I don't think he has lost any weight, but it's something to keep an eye out for. I will make sure to make some goodies. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 My ds is a junior. He has a LOT going on right now - PSAT, upcoming college visit with a trial music lesson included, ACT at the end of October, big piano competition the first weekend in November, working on Eagle Scout project, SAT Subject tests in December. Whew! It stresses me out just thinking about it, and I am only a spectator and chauffeur! I do think things will lighten up next semester a bit. He is very organized and a good manager of his time and pretty "steady Eddie" in his temperament. He did admit to me last night that he is feeling pretty stressed with all of this going on right now. He's never been one to be stressed but this is more than he usually has going on. I had always heard junior year was a stressor. So, what sorts of things do you do with/for your dc to help them get through stressful times? Just anything extra special you might do for them or ways you have to reassure them. It was ds's choice to retake the ACT and to do so in October. He already has a strong score, but wanted to take it again. He really wanted to get ALL his testing done this fall as he is on the school's quiz bowl team and they have many weekend tournaments in the spring. He didn't want to miss any of those b/c of standardized testing. But, I am wondering if it is just too much. Kinda too late now, so how can I best help him deal with the pressure? Thanks! I was recently reminded of SWB's recollection of HER mom telling her to get a sandwich, take a nap, or take a shower. She observes that it always annoyed her, but also usually helped. I had a teen dissolve recently. He was totally overwhelmed with the upcoming week's schedule, but was also tired from a full weekend and hadn't eaten much that day. I'm trying to make sure this one snacks. I've also rejiggered our week so that I'm a lot more controlling of his school work. He really hasn't learned to pace himself nor to fill up all the stray 5-10 min blocks with something useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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