Any ideas to stop bad dreams?

[Desert Rat]

Good morning, Hive.

 

I am waking up after my 16th straight night of fitful dreams. It's always been my understanding that dreams are one way we process emotions and situations. I do get that. But, I really think I am processing my dad's death fine, during waking hours.

 

I've tried Valerian Root, Nyquil, tylenol pm, wine before bed, showers before bed. I'm getting enough exercise. I am sleeeping 8-9 hours a night which is my usual. I am sleeping. I just have terrible or uncomfortable dreams about my dad and related subjects. I'm also eating just fine, my normal diet.

 

I know we still have a lot to do and I am fearful for my mom's future until we get some insurance money settled. But, I don't *feel* like I'm overly anxious during the day. No more than my usual level anyway. I tend to be a worrier.

 

Anybody have ideas I haven't yet tried? Or is this just something I'll have to ride out? I'm telling you, I'm starting to feel like a zombie. I just feel so tired, like I haven't gotten rest even though I've gotten sleep. My dh said I should post here and see if anyone had any ideas.

 

Thanks!

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Go for a sleep study?

 

I have sleep apnea and used to have bad dreams all the time. Now i only have bad dreams when i fall asleep without my mask.

[Desert Rat]

Go for a sleep study?

 

I have sleep apnea and used to have bad dreams all the time. Now i only have bad dreams when i fall asleep without my mask.

 

Maybe, but I think this is situational. I don't typically have bad dreams. I usually sleep just fine. It just started after my dad died. It would be quite a coincidence. Well, he had sleep apnea. Maybe he left it for me? ;)

[Cassy]

:grouphug:

 

I find that my mood and thoughts before I go to bed and go to sleep affect my dreams and the quality of my sleep. I would make a conscious effort to settle into bed in a calm mood, maybe do something comforting - a relaxing bath rather than a shower, a cup of hot chocolate (I always sleep terribly after any alcohol), some yoga exercises, or whatever makes you feel calm, relaxed, loved. Then just before falling asleep I'd think about my dad, think about happy times, maybe even talk to him in my mind in a calm, comforting way, and I'd imagine that everything in the future was going to work out perfectly. It is difficult to stop worrying thoughts intruding when you're very stressed and anxious - I've found learning to meditate very helpful in enabling me to control my thoughts and prevent worrying thoughts taking over in the night.

 

It's very early days yet, don't expect too much of yourself. Gradually you'll get back to your old self and you'll start having more restful sleep.

 

:grouphug:

[justLisa]

I don't know, but I have had SEVERAL dreams lately involving a bear. It is completely ridiculous and I'm starting to get mad about it.

 

I don't even have any feelings about them. I don't think I've ever seen one and I generally do not think about them. But really, bears? :confused:

 

It is so weird. I often wake up stressed about it

[elegantlion]

Have you written any of your emotions down? You might try journaling a little before bed each night.

 

Do you remember things from your dreams? Perhaps you could write about those, even if they seem abstract.

 

I don't think vivid dreams after a death are unusual. Have you tried verbally addressing the dreams, I know this sounds silly, but tell yourself audibly I need rest today, no bad dreams.

 

You could also try falling asleep to some classical music, something relaxing like Moonlight Sonata, and maybe putting some lavender beside the bed or lavender lotion or something.

 

:grouphug:

[AimeeM]

No advice, but lots of :grouphug:. This is a difficult time and I hope you get wonderful advice.

I've always only had bad dreams; I have no recollection of ever having a "good" dream.

[Caitilin]

:grouphug:

 

I find that my mood and thoughts before I go to bed and go to sleep affect my dreams and the quality of my sleep. I would make a conscious effort to settle into bed in a calm mood, maybe do something comforting - a relaxing bath rather than a shower, a cup of hot chocolate (I always sleep terribly after any alcohol), some yoga exercises, or whatever makes you feel calm, relaxed, loved. Then just before falling asleep I'd think about my dad, think about happy times, maybe even talk to him in my mind in a calm, comforting way, and I'd imagine that everything in the future was going to work out perfectly. It is difficult to stop worrying thoughts intruding when you're very stressed and anxious - I've found learning to meditate very helpful in enabling me to control my thoughts and prevent worrying thoughts taking over in the night.

 

It's very early days yet, don't expect too much of yourself. Gradually you'll get back to your old self and you'll start having more restful sleep.

 

:grouphug:

 

These would be my recommendations too; I think Cassy nailed all the things I was going to mention.:tongue_smilie:

 

:grouphug::grouphug:Kalah.

[BlueTaelon]

:grouphug: It sounds like your dreams are telling your not processing it as well as you think you are. Could you actually be suppressing your feelings rather then dealing with them which leads you to think your dealing with your fathers death fine when in fact your not? The death of a parent is a major life event and often a hard one to deal with. It wouldn't be surprising to hear of someone suppressing the grief rather then working though it 100%.

[Desert Rat]

All good things to think about. I'm supposed to be working on school. So, I'll read all your suggestions over again when I have more time. Thank you for taking the time to answer.

[bookfiend]

Set aside some time during in the late afternoon or early evening to more consciously process your father's death. Do it in a very deliberate and structured way. For instance, set a timer for 15-20 minutes, consciously review the last days with him, fully feel the emotions, itemize your current, related worries and think through different approaches to dealing with each situation. When the timer goes off - tell yourself you with think about it some more tomorrow and then release all conscious processing.

 

Also, when memories and emotions about your father naturally occur throughout the day - try not to avoid them. Even if it is a bad time to cry, just stand still and experience the pain - then release it until next time. Don't be afraid.

 

FWIW - your experiences are very normal. I often woke confused in the night. It helped to have my husband repeat the timeline of events the last week of Dad's life. Your grief is unique and personal to you and your relationship with your Dad, moving through it is the best way. Know that normal memories of him will return.