s/o Father Daughter Dances

[Dmmetler]

A dance being thought of as a date with a dad? No.

 

Dancing with dad creepy? No.

 

My husband used to take my Dd17 out to the movies. Is that considered a date?

 

What about if I then said it was to give me some time off? Is it a date then?

 

We don't dance anymore. In my In Laws time, they danced every weekend-swing dancing, and it as a favorite pastime.

 

Now that it's not so popular, it's not familiar, and in our oversexualized society, and the 'closeness' of the dancing, it's seen as creepy. Why creepy? Because most dancing now is close dancing, because that's all that people know how to do. So they project that it must be creepy.

 

And it does make me wonder what they think is happening? Honestly, at my DD's dance studio Daddy-daughter dances, most of the music is early rock/swing that's child safe and fun (and is "oldies" even by the standards of the dads by this point-the dance has been a tradition now for a couple of generations, and I think the playlist was established by the current dance director's mother :) )-and you simply don't close dance to "Rockin' Robin"! They do take a photo with the daddy and daughter, but it's not a "Date" type picture-it's a dad with his little girl, and now that we have a whole collection of them, it's nice to have pictures of DD with DH, because DH is usually behind the camera and is often absent from our photos when we get back from vacation and the like (although now that DD takes pictures as well, that's changing).

[Dmmetler]

I just don't understand why it's specifically father/daughter. Why not parents/children?

 

I really have never heard of such a thing around here nor growing up so maybe I just don't get it.

 

 

For my DD's dance studio, it's because about 99% of the kids attending the studio are girls (a few boys who are there for advanced music theater dance and a few little tiny ones taking tumbling while big sister is in dance class, but that's about it.) And I suspect that if one of the little tiny boys wanted to go with mom, he'd be welcome, since we've had girls come with a wide variety of escorts, including moms, brothers, friends, uncles, grandparents, one dad coming with multiple little girls, and so on. The teens are a non-issue, since the older kids are the ones putting on the dance for the little ones.

[Julie Smith]

For my DD's dance studio, it's because about 99% of the kids attending the studio are girls (a few boys who are there for advanced music theater dance and a few little tiny ones taking tumbling while big sister is in dance class, but that's about it.) And I suspect that if one of the little tiny boys wanted to go with mom, he'd be welcome, since we've had girls come with a wide variety of escorts, including moms, brothers, friends, uncles, grandparents, one dad coming with multiple little girls, and so on. The teens are a non-issue, since the older kids are the ones putting on the dance for the little ones.

 

But why bother calling it a Daddy Daughter dance, when that automatically excludes some people who you than say, "Oh, you are allowed to come anyway it's not just for Daddies and Daughters". Why not just called it a parent child dance?

[AdventureMoms]

I wonder if context has something to do with it? Growing up, the only "father-daughter" dances I knew of WERE purity balls. Older teens who were not permitted to date boys their own age going to a dance with their dad to proclaim their purity. They were put on by one particular church - the same church that would have dads make that same kind of speech at the wedding about vouching for their daughter's purity. (I attended one of their weddings before I had a clue - it was shocking!) So until now, that was my association with such dances. Reading some descriptions on here has me thinking that that's not what is actually happening at a lot of these dances. So I wonder if lack of experience is causing some people's feelings of creepiness?

 

FWIW, yes, I dance with my dad, and always have, including slow dancing. It is not romantic and I don't see anything wrong with girls dancing with dads at any age.

[8circles]

I'm guessing whether or not you find it 'creepy' depends largely upon what type of man ou chose to father your daughter. If warning bells go off when your DH takes your daughter out, you should probably listen to that, but don't put that on every father-daughter outing. I find it creepy that people find it creepy.

 

Um, OK. I don't have a daughter but I'll make a note of this. I think Dads & daughters in romantic situations is creepy therefore I must be married to a creep. Because Dads and daughters should be doing romantic things together. Right.

 

 

WHY is it 'romantic' for a father and daughter to get dressed up and go out? Does dressing up make it romantic? Being alone in a car together? Dancing? Attending an event with just he two of them? WHERE is the romance part? Must people ALWAYS travel in three's so they don't 'look' like a couple? This makes no sense to me.

 

Well, apparently you have taken offense to my attempt at explaining what I find creepy or how I think it falls into the category of romantic. If you don't agree that's fine. I think we can have different opinions about it without insulting each other. If your DH & DD do this & it isn't creepy, then I have no issue with you. Party on!

 

 

So, as long as they wear jeans, don't touch any flowers, and are never photographed alone together it seems better somehow? I think it's weird that people put so much baggage on a father attending a nice, formal event with his little girl. Do you never get dressed up and do something nice with just one child? A girl can't have a nice picture taken with her dad? Really? Not even on her wedding day (lest he be mistaken for the groom)? There ARE people in this world who get dressed up and do nice things other than romantic dates.

 

COME ON!!!

 

I think I already answered all your questions in my post that you are replying to. I feel like you're just being rude.

 

I think we can agree to disagree & not think badly of each other. I'm sorry that my personal opinion is offensive to you.

Edited September 19, 2012 by momoflaw

[magnificent_baby]

I must have missed something. I don't see where or how it was ever a "date." If any given person is imposing that idea onto it, I can see where it might be creepy. But I never viewed it that way so, due to missing something, I didn't understand that everyone was icked out by a daddy dating his daughter.

 

What an unfortunate way to look at a sweet evening. :(

 

:iagree:

[Dmmetler]

But why bother calling it a Daddy Daughter dance, when that automatically excludes some people who you than say, "Oh, you are allowed to come anyway it's not just for Daddies and Daughters". Why not just called it a parent child dance?

 

I expect it's mostly tradition-this is something the studio has been doing for a couple of generations now. Having said that, I'm glad they DON'T call it a parent/child dance-because then it would end up being DD and me, and I suspect the same is true for most of the other families. Dance, and anything related to dance, is seen as a mommy/daughter thing for the most part. Inviting the dads/granddads/uncles/older brothers/mom's significant others in for ONE night to be part of that world without the moms there is very different from it being a studio party with moms/daughters. And it is made clear that those other men ARE invited to come along with the dance student in their lives.

 

And I don't feel like it's terribly excluding to the couple of little preschool boys who are taking gymnastics while the girls are dancing for them to come along with their sisters and dads-or even to go do something special with moms while the dads and sisters are at the dance. If we had a bunch of boy's classes, that would be different, but honestly, in the 3-12 age range, there usually are maybe 2 boys on stage at the recital, total.

[Joker]

I wonder if context has something to do with it? Growing up, the only "father-daughter" dances I knew of WERE purity balls. Older teens who were not permitted to date boys their own age going to a dance with their dad to proclaim their purity. They were put on by one particular church - the same church that would have dads make that same kind of speech at the wedding about vouching for their daughter's purity. (I attended one of their weddings before I had a clue - it was shocking!) So until now, that was my association with such dances. Reading some descriptions on here has me thinking that that's not what is actually happening at a lot of these dances. So I wonder if lack of experience is causing some people's feelings of creepiness?

 

FWIW, yes, I dance with my dad, and always have, including slow dancing. It is not romantic and I don't see anything wrong with girls dancing with dads at any age.

 

Maybe you're right and it's all about context. The first time I heard about purity balls was on this forum. I've honestly never thought of those as being the same as a father daughter dance. My family growing up, and the family I have now, would never be involved in purity balls.

[AnnaM]

Sometimes I take my son out to the movies or to dinner without his sisters sometimes and call it a "date". Is that creepy? I don't have a problem with the dances. I see it as just a special time for a daddy to spend with his daughter. No different than him taking them for ice cream or to see a movie.

[Julie Smith]

I expect it's mostly tradition-this is something the studio has been doing for a couple of generations now. Having said that, I'm glad they DON'T call it a parent/child dance-because then it would end up being DD and me, and I suspect the same is true for most of the other families. Dance, and anything related to dance, is seen as a mommy/daughter thing for the most part. Inviting the dads/granddads/uncles/older brothers/mom's significant others in for ONE night to be part of that world without the moms there is very different from it being a studio party with moms/daughters. And it is made clear that those other men ARE invited to come along with the dance student in their lives.

 

And I don't feel like it's terribly excluding to the couple of little preschool boys who are taking gymnastics while the girls are dancing for them to come along with their sisters and dads-or even to go do something special with moms while the dads and sisters are at the dance. If we had a bunch of boy's classes, that would be different, but honestly, in the 3-12 age range, there usually are maybe 2 boys on stage at the recital, total.

 

I guess that is just something I don't understand. I like options. With a parent child dance you have more option about who goes to the dance. If your family decides that you want it to be Daddy and Daughter who go to the dance, then that is who goes. I don't see why you would want an outside organization to limit you change at choosing who goes.

 

As for the dance only excludes one or two boys, to me, doesn't chance the fact they are excluded. I personally don't see why it's not seen as bad to exclude them since it's only two boys excluded.

 

Maybe if the studio opened up all events to the boys, including the Daddy Daughter Dance, then maybe more boys would end up joining the studio. .. at the very least I can't see how making the studio more exclusive to boys would make boys less likely to join the studio.