s/o Father Daughter Dances

[Joker]

Why do some find them 'creepy'?

 

Honestly, I don't get it. My dad taught me how to dance as a little girl. I started by standing on his feet, and eventually I was doing it on my own two. He's passed on and those memories are precious to me, and I really don't get the problem. We danced together several times, and even at a father/daughter dance. There was nothing 'creepy' going on between us, he was just an awesome dad.

 

Why is it weird? Is is the dancing, or just the special event for it?

[kiana]

It seems kinda weird, personally, to have a date-ish event between a girl and her father.

 

I wasn't raised with this around either, so take anything I say with a grain of salt.

[mom2scouts]

When my dd was 2, she went to a Father-Daughter Dance. Like many little girls she adores her daddy and talked about the "Daddy Dance" for months afterward. The church that sponsors the dance promotes it as an event where fathers can show their daughters how girls should be treated by the men in their lives.

[cindergretta]

My girls love the annual Daddy-Daughter dance our town puts on. My dad even takes me! :D It is a big deal and well loved by all, except dd16, who never attends. :tongue_smilie:

[regentrude]

It seems kinda weird, personally, to have a date-ish event between a girl and her father.

This. Going to a dance is something a girl does with a boyfriend or fiancee or husband. Having an event like this with Dad is just... weird.

 

where fathers can show their daughters how girls should be treated by the men in their lives.

:confused:

At a formal dance, i.e. a very artificial environment with highly stereotypical roles? How can this be relevant?

I agree that fathers show girls how men (should) treat women - but most importantly, they do so in the daily interactions in the family and through the relationship with their mothers.

I would not want my husband to treat me as if I was his daughter.

[PeacefulChaos]

I don't know.

I could see it, I guess, if one didn't have daughters who have a good dad, or if they didn't have a good dad. Or maybe if they think it is more than it is? Idk...

I think they are a nice idea. I've never been to one, and we don't have any here. But if we did I'm sure DH would take Pink, even though he doesn't dance. :tongue_smilie: I think the father/daughter relationship is important for many reasons which I listed on the other thread.

But I don't think the dances themselves are important, per se. Since apparently I came across that way? Idk...

[Audrey]

This. Going to a dance is something a girl does with a boyfriend or fiancee or husband. Having an event like this with Dad is just... weird.

 

:confused:

At a formal dance, i.e. a very artificial environment with highly stereotypical roles? How can this be relevant?

I agree that fathers show girls how men (should) treat women - but most importantly, they do so in the daily interactions in the family and through the relationship with their mothers.

 

ETA: I would not want my husband to treat me as if I was his daughter.

 

 

:iagree: But again, context is everything.

[Rivka]

I agree that fathers show girls how men (should) treat women - but most importantly, they do so in the daily interactions in the family and through the relationship with their mothers.

 

I would not want my husband to treat me as if I was his daughter.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[PeacefulChaos]

This. Going to a dance is something a girl does with a boyfriend or fiancee or husband. Having an event like this with Dad is just... weird.

 

:confused:

At a formal dance, i.e. a very artificial environment with highly stereotypical roles? How can this be relevant?

I agree that fathers show girls how men (should) treat women - but most importantly, they do so in the daily interactions in the family and through the relationship with their mothers.

ETA: I would not want my husband to treat me as if I was his daughter.

 

:iagree: with the bolded. :)

The dance sounds like a fun thing for the girls, mostly, to get dressed up and stuff. :) It would not, however, be enough for dad to just take her to this dance. That's why I don't find them particularly important - just fluff, kwim?

[cindergretta]

I think maybe there is some misunderstanding of what happens at a DDD.

 

At our dance, there is a magic show for part of it. There are formal pictures taken. There are treats served - ice cream and punch, primarily.

 

And the dancing is The Funky Chicken or the Macarena and other stuff. It isn't slow dancing (like romantic) or waltzing or anything.

[Trish]

This. Going to a dance is something a girl does with a boyfriend or fiancee or husband. Having an event like this with Dad is just... weird.

 

:confused:

At a formal dance, i.e. a very artificial environment with highly stereotypical roles? How can this be relevant?

I agree that fathers show girls how men (should) treat women - but most importantly, they do so in the daily interactions in the family and through the relationship with their mothers.

I would not want my husband to treat me as if I was his daughter.

 

It's less weird than what passes for normal on college campuses these days. It's all a matter of what you've gotten used to.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

It's less weird than what passes for normal on college campuses these days. It's all a matter of what you've gotten used to.

 

I think you need to quit stereotyping college campuses so much.

[Joker]

I think maybe there is some misunderstanding of what happens at a DDD.

 

At our dance, there is a magic show for part of it. There are formal pictures taken. There are treats served - ice cream and punch, primarily.

 

And the dancing is The Funky Chicken or the Macarena and other stuff. It isn't slow dancing (like romantic) or waltzing or anything.

 

Yes! The DDD was the only time I saw my dad do anything other than the two-step. :D I still don't think it's creepy, but I also don't think it's necessary.

 

I just didn't like the vibe in the other thread that a father dancing with a daughter was 'creepy'. I also don't think going to a dance has to be something you do only with a boyfriend, fiancee, or husband. They can be just for fun, and I had a lot of fun (and made a lot of memories) dancing with my dad.

[BigMamaBird]

I think they're sweet!

 

I went to a Daddy/Daughter Square Dance when I was a kid and my Dad still brings it up every now and then. My Dh and I do Daddy/Daughter, Mommy/Son dates with our kids. Usually some sort of fun activity with ice cream at the end. The kids love it and we're building good memories with them.

[aggieamy]

This. Going to a dance is something a girl does with a boyfriend or fiancee or husband. Having an event like this with Dad is just... weird.

 

:confused:

At a formal dance, i.e. a very artificial environment with highly stereotypical roles? How can this be relevant?

I agree that fathers show girls how men (should) treat women - but most importantly, they do so in the daily interactions in the family and through the relationship with their mothers.

I would not want my husband to treat me as if I was his daughter.

 

:iagree:. I hope DD knows how a man is supposed to treat his wife by watching her father and I interact daily.

 

It was never an issue in our family though. I have a DH who wouldn't be seen dead at a DDD - I can't even get him to dance with me. Ever. Not at our wedding. Not when we were dating. Not if I put a favorite slow dance song on youtube and try to get him to dance with me in the livingroom.

 

Now that I think about it though, I've never seen my father dance either. I know he would have never taken any of his daughters to a DDD.

[Mrs Mungo]

We did a "date with dad" night growing up in my scouting organization. It was a fun night, not creepy. My dds have been to a DDD with their dad, and they have missed them due to dad being deployed. I vote not creepy for the majority of them. I can see how *some* of them are kind of creepy when framed against a certain mindset. And, no, I'm not going to elaborate.

[Rivka]

I have fond memories of going to square dances as a family and dancing with my dad. He also taught me to polka at a town music festival once, and we got our picture taken for the paper. (Small town.) I've taken my own kids to family dances run by the local folk music society, and we've really enjoyed them. I like to dance.

 

It's not the dancing that's the problem, for me. Dancing is awesome. It's the romantic paradigm imposed on the father-daughter relationship. I don't think a father should act like his daughter's suitor. I think that's creepy. Not because I think these fathers are sexually attracted to their daughters, but because I think romanticizing the father-daughter relationship undermines the much more complicated paradigm of love between adult equals.

 

This piece by Hugo Schwyzer is worth reading:

http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/10/22/princesses-princes-daughters-and-dads-against-emotional-incest/

 

Here’s the thing: I’ve seen men play their daughters against their wives, mistakenly believing that the way in which their daughters see them (as heroic and perfect) is the way that their spouses ought to as well. If a man hasn’t done his “workâ€, he may find himself looking at his daughter, gazing up at him with adoration, and he may start (resentfully) to contrast his girl’s fierce and uncomplicated devotion with the somewhat less enthusiastic reception he may be getting from his overworked and exhausted wife.

[8circles]

I think they're creepy. I also agree with regentrude.

 

It isn't about the dancing - I dance with my dad a lot, even as an adult. Not the chicken or macarena but 'proper' dances mostly polka but also waltz. That isn't the creepy factor. Its the date aspect. The father/ daughter relationship should not be put into the romantic mold.

[Joker]

I think they're creepy. I also agree with regentrude.

 

It isn't about the dancing - I dance with my dad a lot, even as an adult. Not the chicken or macarena but 'proper' dances mostly polka but also waltz. That isn't the creepy factor. Its the date aspect. The father/ daughter relationship should not be put into the romantic mold.

 

What constitutes a date? I grew up having different outings with my parents. We do the same with our dds. Does a movie and dinner out with just dad equal a date? Is it the same with just mom? Most of my dates with dh involve just a movie and dinner. What if dad/mom takes one dd to a play/musical/etc because it's her favorite but not the other? Is it a date because it's something dating adults would do? What makes going to a dance different from the others, or do you consider them all the same?

[cindergretta]

I must have missed something. I don't see where or how it was ever a "date." If any given person is imposing that idea onto it, I can see where it might be creepy. But I never viewed it that way so, due to missing something, I didn't understand that everyone was icked out by a daddy dating his daughter.

 

What an unfortunate way to look at a sweet evening. :(

[PeacefulChaos]

I have fond memories of going to square dances as a family and dancing with my dad. He also taught me to polka at a town music festival once, and we got our picture taken for the paper. (Small town.) I've taken my own kids to family dances run by the local folk music society, and we've really enjoyed them. I like to dance.

 

It's not the dancing that's the problem, for me. Dancing is awesome. It's the romantic paradigm imposed on the father-daughter relationship. I don't think a father should act like his daughter's suitor. I think that's creepy. Not because I think these fathers are sexually attracted to their daughters, but because I think romanticizing the father-daughter relationship undermines the much more complicated paradigm of love between adult equals.

 

This piece by Hugo Schwyzer is worth reading:

http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/10/22/princesses-princes-daughters-and-dads-against-emotional-incest/

 

I actually agree a lot with this, too.

The playing of the mom/daughter against each other was what I always pictured in my head when I heard the term 'daddy's girl'. Not having a dad, but having a grandpa who I loved though have a kind of distant relationship with (we just aren't particularly showy about it, and we don't talk about it. But I adore him and I know he loves me, period), I kind of thought of what I considered the 'Hollywood stereotype' of the relationship - dad gives daughter everything she wants, even at the expense of the mom, and the mom/daughter relationship is in the toilet. That type of thing. The stuff weird horror movies are made from.

It wasn't til I read a few books about women (none of which had ANYTHING to do with dads and daughters, or parenting girls) the summer before I got pregnant with Pink that it clicked and I understood. I honestly believe that I needed to understand that before I had a girl.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent. :) I also am really looking forward to mother/daughter things with Pink. I think it's fun for parents to have individualized time with their kids, however it all works out.

[PeacefulChaos]

What constitutes a date? I grew up having different outings with my parents. We do the same with our dds. Does a movie and dinner out with just dad equal a date? Is it the same with just mom? Most of my dates with dh involve just a movie and dinner. What if dad/mom takes one dd to a play/musical/etc because it's her favorite but not the other? Is it a date because it's something dating adults would do? What makes going to a dance different from the others, or do you consider them all the same?

 

I actually don't even like to use the word 'date' for DH and I (we're not dating, we're married, and I'm glad! I don't want to date again! :lol: ). And I find the 'daddy/daughter date' thing to be gag-worthy. Idky. I just do. :)

[8circles]

What constitutes a date? I grew up having different outings with my parents. We do the same with our dds. Does a movie and dinner out with just dad equal a date? Is it the same with just mom? Most of my dates with dh involve just a movie and dinner. What if dad/mom takes one dd to a play/musical/etc because it's her favorite but not the other? Is it a date because it's something dating adults would do? What makes going to a dance different from the others, or do you consider them all the same?

 

The only father/ daughter dances I've ever seen have involved getting dressed-up, exchanging gifts ( flowers), posed 'couple' pictures, etc. I don't know how that isn't seen as copying a romantic date.

 

I do take my boys for one-on-one 'dates' but they don't involve anything that is typically indicative of romance. I even take them to movies or dinner or a play. Not creepy unless I would be using it to instruct him how to pull out my chair, open the car door, bring me flowers, etc.

[Joker]

I actually don't even like to use the word 'date' for DH and I (we're not dating, we're married, and I'm glad! I don't want to date again! :lol: ). And I find the 'daddy/daughter date' thing to be gag-worthy. Idky. I just do. :)

 

I would find a daddy-daughter 'date' to be weird, too. I don't think my dh 'dates' our dds, but he does dance with them, and it's not weird or creepy. He does go to the movies/out to eat/to a play/etc. alone with one and then the other (as do I). So, I agree that we're not dating our dds. We're just enjoying various activities with them. I find it strange that many find a DDD to be a 'date', and I wondered if they found the other things to be 'dates' as well.

[Joker]

The only father/ daughter dances I've ever seen have involved getting dressed-up, exchanging gifts ( flowers), posed 'couple' pictures, etc. I don't know how that isn't seen as copying a romantic date.

 

I do take my boys for one-on-one 'dates' but they don't involve anything that is typically indicative of romance. I even take them to movies or dinner or a play. Not creepy unless I would be using it to instruct him how to pull out my chair, open the car door, bring me flowers, etc.

 

The only dances dh/dd (and my dad and I) have been to have involved getting dressed up for the occasion. I took pictures, but I don't think anyone thought of them as 'couple' pictures. There were no gifts or flowers.

 

When dh takes any of us out, he is opening doors and pulling out chairs. It doesn't matter if it's one or all of us.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I think it's the dance part that makes it creepy. I don't think it's creepy for a little girl to dance with her dad, or a big girl to dance with her dad at a wedding or something like that, but to have a special event just for dads and daughters to get dressed up and dance together seems weird to me. I know some of you are saying that there are other things beside dancing at these dances, but what's the point?

 

In any case, I'm pretty sure my older son would rather go to a dance with me than to a baseball game with me or his dad! :D

 

The younger one already doesn't want to be seen with either of us, so he'll probably move out at 13. :lol:

[edelweiss]

I must have missed something. I don't see where or how it was ever a "date." If any given person is imposing that idea onto it, I can see where it might be creepy. But I never viewed it that way so, due to missing something, I didn't understand that everyone was icked out by a daddy dating his daughter.

 

What an unfortunate way to look at a sweet evening. :(

 

 

I agree. So sad that some make it into something it is not.

 

My girls go with their dad to a FD dance every year and have for the past 5 years. It is put on by our dance company and held at the local country club. The girls love our tradition of me taking them out to buy them new dresses and shoes for the party. If DH is lucky, he might get dragged on the floor to do the Macarena with them, but it is just as likely as not that he won't dance at all with them. They run off with their friends and have a great time and he catches up with the dads. I get a rare night alone. We all love it.

[KungFuPanda]

Why do some find them 'creepy'?

 

Honestly, I don't get it. My dad taught me how to dance as a little girl. I started by standing on his feet, and eventually I was doing it on my own two. He's passed on and those memories are precious to me, and I really don't get the problem. We danced together several times, and even at a father/daughter dance. There was nothing 'creepy' going on between us, he was just an awesome dad.

 

Why is it weird? Is is the dancing, or just the special event for it?

 

I'm guessing whether or not you find it 'creepy' depends largely upon what type of man ou chose to father your daughter. If warning bells go off when your DH takes your daughter out, you should probably listen to that, but don't put that on every father-daughter outing. I find it creepy that people find it creepy.

 

I think they're creepy. I also agree with regentrude.

 

It isn't about the dancing - I dance with my dad a lot, even as an adult. Not the chicken or macarena but 'proper' dances mostly polka but also waltz. That isn't the creepy factor. Its the date aspect. The father/ daughter relationship should not be put into the romantic mold.

 

WHY is it 'romantic' for a father and daughter to get dressed up and go out? Does dressing up make it romantic? Being alone in a car together? Dancing? Attending an event with just he two of them? WHERE is the romance part? Must people ALWAYS travel in three's so they don't 'look' like a couple? This makes no sense to me.

 

The only father/ daughter dances I've ever seen have involved getting dressed-up, exchanging gifts ( flowers), posed 'couple' pictures, etc. I don't know how that isn't seen as copying a romantic date.

 

I do take my boys for one-on-one 'dates' but they don't involve anything that is typically indicative of romance. I even take them to movies or dinner or a play. Not creepy unless I would be using it to instruct him how to pull out my chair, open the car door, bring me flowers, etc.

 

 

So, as long as they wear jeans, don't touch any flowers, and are never photographed alone together it seems better somehow? I think it's weird that people put so much baggage on a father attending a nice, formal event with his little girl. Do you never get dressed up and do something nice with just one child? A girl can't have a nice picture taken with her dad? Really? Not even on her wedding day (lest he be mistaken for the groom)? There ARE people in this world who get dressed up and do nice things other than romantic dates.

 

COME ON!!!

Edited September 19, 2012 by KungFuPanda

[JessReplanted]

I went to Father-Daughter dances with my dad, and they were great. I'm thankful for the special memories.

 

And, my husband takes our daughters out on dates. It is not 'romantic'. But it is a special time when they get his undivided attention - they love it!

My husband also has "Dudes Day" with our son. ;)

[Rebecca VA]

n/m

Edited September 19, 2012 by Rebecca VA

[fischerl]

I must have missed something. I don't see where or how it was ever a "date." If any given person is imposing that idea onto it, I can see where it might be creepy. But I never viewed it that way so, due to missing something, I didn't understand that everyone was icked out by a daddy dating his daughter.

 

What an unfortunate way to look at a sweet evening. :(

 

:iagree:

 

I went to Father-Daughter dances with my dad, and they were great. I'm thankful for the special memories.

 

And, my husband takes our daughters out on dates. It is not 'romantic'. But it is a special time when they get his undivided attention - they love it!

My husband also has "Dudes Day" with our son. ;)

 

My DH has always done this, too (with DDs and DS). My girls especially love it and DD21 still insists on a "date" with Dad when she's home. Perhaps some who think it's "creepy" are carrying baggage from their relationships with their fathers? Or thinking of creepy dads they've known or read about? IDK....

 

I think this is really sweet: (Steven Curtis Chapman performing "Cinderella")

[FaithManor]

At a formal dance, i.e. a very artificial environment with highly stereotypical roles? How can this be relevant?

I agree that fathers show girls how men (should) treat women - but most importantly, they do so in the daily interactions in the family and through the relationship with their mothers.

I would not want my husband to treat me as if I was his daughter.

 

:iagree: A dance event is a contrived, social event for entertainment purposes. It's one of those "once in a while" things a married couple might do and an employer/employee would not do. So, it's not particularly germain to the topic of teaching a girl how she should be treated by a man and in particular, a future husband. Dad needs to do that daily. He needs to role model that in the way he treats the child's mother every.single.day. A daughter/father relationship really shouldn't look like any other relationship she will have in the future. He's her father; it's a position of authority, a position of instruction. Her relationship with an employer, college professor, co-workers, and husband will be, and should be, completely different.

 

In terms of dating relationships, regardless of how she thinks she should be treated as per "daddy/daughter dates", the reality is that it depends on the other person and it might be wise to NOT build "Cinderella" expectations. Better to be instructed in self-defense, paying attention to intuition, and having a good back-up plan, etc. Whether or not the boy holds the car door open, or offers his arm, is the least of her future dating worries. I'd rather dads have a "How to get yourself out of a bad situation - did you know that a good, swift kick to the ..... tends to incapacitate for a few seconds - and never leave your beverage unattended EVER" class for his daughter.

 

I don't find the dances creepy, per se. I am sure they are good fun for the participants.

 

But, we are rather pragmatic here so some of this kind of thing is rather lost on us.

 

Faith

[Dmmetler]

My daughter's dance studio does one every winter as a fundraiser to allow the older girls to do summer workshops and the like. Usually it ends up being a bunch of little dressed up girls dancing together while proud daddies take pictures :001_smile:. About age 12 or so, the girls convert from attending the dance to putting it on for the younger girls, so it's never a case of a dad close-dancing with a maturing teen.

 

DD loves it and looks forward to it each year.

[stripe]

The church that sponsors the dance promotes it as an event where fathers can show their daughters how girls should be treated by the men in their lives.

 

the trouble I have with this is that some pedophiles use this line as they molest their daughters. That daddies have to train girls to know what to do with men.

 

I am all for good relationships with fathers, and raising expectations of how men should treat women, but I don't think the father/daughter relationship is the same as a husband/wife relationship. I don't find the father/daughter stuff extremely creepy, because I think (not to sound too Freudian) a lot of little girls with normal, loving fathers say things like, "When I grow up, I want to marry my daddy!", without meaning anything creepy at all, but then again, I hate most of the princessy approach to girlhood.

 

My husband is not a child molestor, nor does he act like one or aspire to be one. but I am aware that other men do behave in this fashion.

 

Thanks for the article, Rivka, although my favorite part came in the opening paragraph ("We have a nanny to help out some of the time [with our eight month old daughter], but most of the care is done in carefully orchestrated shifts shared among my wife, her mother, and me").

 

What is the attitude towards mother/son dates and dancing? Why is it psychologically questionable in American culture for men/boys to be gaga over their mothers? This actually causes conflicts, I think, among more adult women (drama with their MIL or DIL) versus amokng adult men. I can't think of many outraged men complaining about their overbearing FILs.

[Heather in Neverland]

I'm guessing whether or not you find it 'creepy' depends largely upon what type of man ou chose to father your daughter. If warning bells go off when your DH takes your daughter out, you should probably listen to that, but don't put that on every father-daughter outing. I find it creepy that people find it creepy.

 

Exactly. Gosh, talk about reading too much into something! I think we've all had too much pop-psychology if this is where our minds go.

 

 

WHY is it 'romantic' for a father and daughter to get dressed up and go out? Does dressing up make it romantic? Being alone in a car together? Dancing? Attending an event with just he two of them? WHERE is the romance part? Must people ALWAYS travel in three's so they don't 'look' like a couple? This makes no sense to me.

 

So, as long as they wear jeans, don't touch any flowers, and are never photographed alone together it seems better somehow? I think it's weird that people put so much baggage on a father attending a nice, formal event with his little girl. Do you never get dressed up and do something nice with just one child? A girl can't have a nice picture taken with her dad? Really? Not even on her wedding day (lest he be mistaken for the groom)? There ARE people in this world who get dressed up and do nice things other than romantic dates.

 

COME ON!!!

 

I heart this entire post. :D.

 

 

 

.

[angela in ohio]

I agree that fathers show girls how men (should) treat women - but most importantly, they do so in the daily interactions in the family and through the relationship with their mothers.

 

:iagree:

 

Of course, I also think mother-son bowling, etc. are silly. If I want to have "bonding time" with one dc, why would I want a bunch of other people and a scheduled activity? I felt the same way when friends would do "purity programs" as a *group*. Makes no sense to me... :confused:

[kewb]

I don't find daddy/daughter dances creepy. I think they are sweet.

 

I find Purity Balls creepy. To have my father announce to a room full of friends that he is pledging to protect my virginity. Creepy.

[rieshy]

Perhaps some of the creepy perception is the fault of marketing.

 

I'd heard of father/daughter dances- not that it would ever be anything my daughters or my husband would be interested in- but last year there were billboards around town advertising a local father/daughter dance. It pictured a little girl who was about 8 gazing adoringly and up-close to a daddy figure. She was all made up like a little Renee Ramsey figure with lipgloss, lots of makeup, and pouffy hair. It completely creeped my teens out, who had never heard of such a function.

[deacongirl]

My dd and all of her friends have great memories of those dances, and I didn't find it creepy at all. What I do find creepy is the purity balls, with the ring ceremony etc.

[regentrude]

I find Purity Balls creepy. To have my father announce to a room full of friends that he is pledging to protect my virginity. Creepy.

 

Yikes - that is REALLY creepy.

[Miss Marple]

Why do some find them 'creepy'?

 

Honestly, I don't get it. My dad taught me how to dance as a little girl. I started by standing on his feet, and eventually I was doing it on my own two. He's passed on and those memories are precious to me, and I really don't get the problem. We danced together several times, and even at a father/daughter dance. There was nothing 'creepy' going on between us, he was just an awesome dad.

 

Why is it weird? Is is the dancing, or just the special event for it?

 

I cannot imagine a special event being held for me to dance the evening away with my dad. Especially when those dances are usually for teenagers. At that point in my life, I was interested in other boys - not my daddy. I guess maybe it's because I've always considered dancing to have a bit of romantic association and I could not think of my dad in that context. I'm sure others view dances as just another athletic event ;) and have no problem. But I would not have been able to dance with just anyone - it had to be that "special someone".

[Paige]

I think that dance in cultures has traditionally not been exclusively a romantic activity. It was a community, social, and recreational thing. In America and western culture in general, just like breasts have become so sexualized, dancing is becoming more sexualized and tends to be seen as a romantic or sexual activity. I believe this is partly due to the computer and tv age when people have so many other social or recreational activities they can do that have no sexual or romantic connections, communities have fewer social dances, people participate less in dancing due to lack of experience and more inhibitions, and so when people do see and participate in dancing activities, it is more often because of romantic motivations than not these days. Because of this, I think some people view dance as more romantic than recreational and that is where the creep factor comes in.

 

I don't think father/daughter dances are creepy. I think of them as a fun activity for fathers and daughters that have nothing at all to do with romance or future spouses. It is about fathers practicing a recreational activity with their daughters and receiving community support for parenting with other men and their daughters.

 

*I'm not saying breasts and dancing are not at all sexual in other cultures and in our history, but that there was also a significant tradition of non sexual dancing.

[Paige]

My dd and all of her friends have great memories of those dances, and I didn't find it creepy at all. What I do find creepy is the purity balls, with the ring ceremony etc.

 

:iagree: Purity balls with girls pledging to remain true to their faith and convictions= not creepy. Purity balls w/ girls pledging themselves to their dads?? Creepy. I don't get why the father needs to be brought into the idea of abstinence.

[deacongirl]

:iagree: Purity balls with girls pledging to remain true to their faith and convictions= not creepy. Purity balls w/ girls pledging themselves to their dads?? Creepy. I don't get why the father needs to be brought into the idea of abstinence.

 

OK, I will agree with this!

[FaithManor]

I don't find daddy/daughter dances creepy. I think they are sweet.

 

I find Purity Balls creepy. To have my father announce to a room full of friends that he is pledging to protect my virginity. Creepy.

 

 

Oh, absolutely this. My word, that just makes me :001_huh:.

 

But, I wonder if the girls are supposed to pledge their virginity to their fathers care, are the boys there pledging their's to their mothers????

 

Faith

[justamouse]

A dance being thought of as a date with a dad? No.

 

Dancing with dad creepy? No.

 

My husband used to take my Dd17 out to the movies. Is that considered a date?

 

What about if I then said it was to give me some time off? Is it a date then?

 

We don't dance anymore. In my In Laws time, they danced every weekend-swing dancing, and it as a favorite pastime.

 

Now that it's not so popular, it's not familiar, and in our oversexualized society, and the 'closeness' of the dancing, it's seen as creepy. Why creepy? Because most dancing now is close dancing, because that's all that people know how to do. So they project that it must be creepy.

[Miss Marple]

Yikes - that is REALLY creepy.

 

We attended a wedding several years ago in which the father gave a mini-sermon whilst giving away the daughter. The topic was that he could assure the son-in-law to be that his daughter was still pure. My boys just about died! Questions from "how can he really be sure" to "how does one check for that". Bizarre :tongue_smilie:

[fairfarmhand]

We attended a wedding several years ago in which the father gave a mini-sermon whilst giving away the daughter. The topic was that he could assure the son-in-law to be that his daughter was still pure. My boys just about died! Questions from "how can he really be sure" to "how does one check for that". Bizarre :tongue_smilie:

finally! something that 99.999% of this board can all agree is in fact VERY CREEPY!

[angela in ohio]

Oh, absolutely this. My word, that just makes me :001_huh:.

 

But, I wonder if the girls are supposed to pledge their virginity to their fathers care, are the boys there pledging their's to their mothers????

 

Faith

 

My dh's mom used to smack her teen boys in the back of the head and say, "You knock some girl up, I'll kill you." Does that count? :lol: If she wrote it on a scroll all fancy, would it count?

[justamouse]

We attended a wedding several years ago in which the father gave a mini-sermon whilst giving away the daughter. The topic was that he could assure the son-in-law to be that his daughter was still pure. My boys just about died! Questions from "how can he really be sure" to "how does one check for that". Bizarre :tongue_smilie:

 

You are right, that is very creepy.