Anybody have resources for depression? Both Christian and secular wanted.

[TravelingChris]

My oldest (19) was diagnosed as ADHD at almost 4. At 19, he is diagnosed with major depression and has been medically withdrawn from school, and been hospitalized three times since mid-March. He is currently in the hospital with no release date forecast. He is on tons of medication. When he was out of the hospital and in our home for both times in between the hospitalizations, he didn't take medications consistently and didn't follow our directions for getting better (being on a regular, normal sleep schedule; eating regular healthy meals, exercise, and doing something productive outside of his room.) He would sleep most of the day (about 17 hours a day) and wake at evening and go to bed at 6 am. Anyway, I need help with much more information so I can make informed decisions. I keep finding information for people who are depressed but certainly not the same as my son. These books all imply take an SSRI and get better. I don't know if the doctors are right and he is just depressed but if so, he is severely depressed. His whole thinking has changed, andhe is very unpleasant to be around. My husband thinks he has a personality problem. He is 19 so we can't direct anything but I am not happy with his care. I also know that I am going to have to put my foot down and not let him come back here to live if he plans on leaving the hospital and starting right back on the same behaviors that lead to police visits at 3 am and rehospitalization. Any advice, books, etc?

[SFP]

Has anyone considered that he may be bi-polar? Regardless, it takes time--and usually therapy-- to get a major mood disorder under control. Unfortunately, it's usually when you can least stand to be around them that they need you most. I'm going through a horrible patch of that right now with my sister.

[Ottakee]

I agree with looking at the possibility of bipolar. Many of those with bipolar presented as kids with severe ADHD when they were young.

 

Can you find out WHAT medications he is on, the doses, etc? While it can take a combination of medications to treat depression/bipolar, some doctors keep adding meds to counter act side effects, etc. when it might be better to just switch to a different med.

 

http://www.bpkids.org and http://www.bipolarchild.com might be helpful---I know he is older but if what you see there sound familiar from his younger years it might point you in the right direction.

 

Once they find the correct meds, it is VERY important for him to take them, EACH and EVERY day, at about the same time each day. He will likely start to feel better, decide that he doesn't need the meds, stop them and then the cycle continues. Your ideas of diet, exercise, sleep, etc. are very good as well.

 

Feel free to message or email me privately.

[elegantlion]

No advice, :grouphug:. May you find extra strength and guidance to help your son. May he find it within himself as well.

[mysticamethyst]

I could have written your post with the exception that it is not my son, but my mother. Up until last year my mother had lived with us for 15 years. Suffered in the same ways you describe, she moved in with us orginally becasue she couldn't keep a job, she is a RN. She has attempted to kill herself twice that I am aware of but threatened more than I can remember. The hardest thing you are going to face is not letting him back until he takes responsiblility for his meds. THESE MUST BE TAKEN!! I would have to say it's severe depression/bipolar disorder; not the run of the mill I am down today moods. The last 2 years has been the most difficult for me, telling her she couldn't live here, not letting her see the kids because of the influence she has on them. I wish I could give you some great words of wisdom but there aren't any; just want to let you know you aren't alone. The system he is in will fail you without a doubt, so be proactive and speak as loud as you can. If it feels wrong it usually is. Unfortunately, because depression varies so much it is hard to say what causes it, can you look back and see figure out when it started and maybe figure it out?

[TravelingChris]

I am going to have to research more about bipolar. My sister was bipolar and she was totally impossible. That is what is so striking to me. I have known depressed people (my mother was depressed after the death of my father and I have had friends who have had depression). None of them acted the way he does. He does act most like my sister although he has never had a manic episode that I have seen. My sister definitely had that- speeding, keying the car of someone she thought stole her space, wild spending sprees on incredibly stupid stuff (household items on sale at the local drug store), calling everyone at 3am and ranting. She had the whole deal of sleeping all day and being unbelievable slovenly just like he has.

[Ottakee]

With the family history of bipolar, it is esp. something to look into. There is a strong genetic link with bipolar.

 

If this is bipolar, he needs MOOD STABILIZERS---lithium is the gold standard and Tegretol, Depakote, and Lamictal are alway very effective. Very often an anti-psychotic like Risperdal, Zyprexa, Seroquel, etc. is also used.

 

Lithium is the only med known to have anti-suicide properties. Lamictal is also approved for depression. For many with bipolar, the traditional SSRIs can increase the cycling.

 

Bipolar II has more depression where Bipolar I is more manic. Irritability is another symptom for bipolar.

 

You are going to have to advocate very strongly for him. Some hospitals are very good and they do have their place but you will need to fight to get him the best treatment.

[SFP]

Your ideas of diet, exercise, sleep, etc. are very good as well.

 

 

I agree as well, but I wouldn't push this until after he's stabilized on the meds. He's 19. He's going to resist "old people" standards of good, clean living. Besides, you can do all of the above and still have trouble keeping a mood disorder under control. Choose your battles.

[Tweed]

I highly recommend looking at this site:

http://www.breggin.com/

 

My sister is going through something like this and I know how horrible it is. :grouphug: I know if she was here, she would tell you to read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Drug-May-Problem-Psychiatric/dp/0738203483

[Ottakee]

You are right. The proper meds, taken every day, are the key for treating a mood disorder.

 

My 12dd has bipolar. She is doing very well on her meds (combination of Tegretol, Lamictal and Risperdal). She also takes http://www.omegabrite.com for good Omega 3s. Melatonin helps regulate her sleep habits. I make sure she gets lots of outside time, exercise, etc. The meds though are about 90% of the equation.

 

I agree as well, but I wouldn't push this until after he's stabilized on the meds. He's 19. He's going to resist "old people" standards of good, clean living. Besides, you can do all of the above and still have trouble keeping a mood disorder under control. Choose your battles.

[asta]

I highly recommend looking at this site:

http://www.breggin.com/

 

My sister is going through something like this and I know how horrible it is. I know if she was here, she would tell you to read this book:

 

 

I strongly disagree with the above post. Following the information on that site could very well harm your child irreparably. Additionally, that physician mis-represents himself greatly ("Harvard-trained psychiatrist" is actually "Harvard College, Case Western Reserve University School of Med, Cleveland, OH", just for starters...)

 

Ottakee's post pretty much covers what is going on today for how to approach a situation as your son's.

 

There is a site called Psych Education that is run by an M.D. without an agenda. It talks about what the different terms mean, what medications are and are not used and why, and most importantly, that mental illness is "not a moral weakness".

 

In other words - it isn't just a personality thing that someone can "get over". As others have mentioned, like all illnesses, it requires a good diet, a healthy lifestyle, proper medical treatment, and motivation to get better. If any of the legs of the chair are missing, it just doesn't happen.

 

I wish the best for you and your family.

 

 

asta

[lwilliams1922]

http://www.homeopathicservices.com/

 

PM if you'd like to hear our story

[TracyR]

First, Hugs , hugs , hugs .

My husband has had mental issues since he was 12 years old . Its so hard to live with . Right now he is back on trying to recovery .

I wonder if he doesn't deal with bipolar himself . But when I do know is my husband has severe anxiety issues , depression , and mild OCD .

Right now he is on Paxil and some medicine to help him sleep and calm down his anxiety .

 

He is trying again with a program his uncle bought for him Called the Lucinda Basset attacking anxiety and depression http://www.stresscenter.com/

This program he will NEED your help . It says its self help but if you just have uncontrolled issues its doesn't do much good . The hard part is the older the person is the tougher it can be ,, I think more so for men because they are set in their ways . I know with my husband I will say he doesn't put forth the effort that it takes to change and that is why it didn't work the first time . So I really say for boys or men that this program needs to have someone oversee it . I have read that it can work . Its MIGHTY expensive though . You could possibly find it used somewhere .

 

Anyways Mental illness is a LOOONNGGGG hard road . I would say that medicine is less then 90% of the battle . It can help but it takes a long time to kick in and the doses have to constantly be adjusted or if he has a reaction changed and you start all over again .

 

I do love my husband , don't get me wrong . But life with a loved one with mental illness is extremely hard , frustrating and down right sad sometimes . Also you have to seek counsiling , something I haven't done yet myself , because mental illness doesn't affect just the one person but the whole family . You really need to learn how to deal with your son's illness too otherwise it can destroy a family .