Screen time with multiple kids

[kirstenhill]

How do you handle screen time with multiple kids that want to watch what the other kids are doing?

 

I'm thinking of iPad or computer/web games in particular. I give them each a 15 minute turn (8, 5 and 3 year olds), which feels short to each kid, but it really adds up to 45 minutes of screen time (I think anyhow) if they each watch the others.

 

Do you allow your kids to watch each other for screen time? If not how do you monitor/handle that rule? DD has been fine with me just telling her not to watch the boys (well, she might grumble a bit), but the boys just seem to not "get it" when I have tried to have them not watch each other play and unless the one playing is in a locked room or something the other one ends up watching. :lol:

 

And when it comes to tv, same thing...either I have to let them watch an hour plus so they can each pick a 20 minute show (because even though they never agree on what to watch, if the tv is on it is like a siren call and they watch shows they claim not to like!), or they argue over whose turn it is to pick if they don't all get to pick or I have to be the "bad guy" and pick the tv show knowing I'll disappoint someone because they have such different tastes.

 

Or I can be the really mean mom and allow no screen time some days (totally happens, partly because of all these issues), but to be honest I also like having that break or time to cook or clean without kids underfoot quite as much. I know, I want to have my cake and eat it too. :lol:

 

Advice on how to handle these game and tv issues?

[Amy in TX]

:lurk5:

 

We have the identical issues.

[redsquirrel]

In our house, they can have some screen time at 4:30 until dinner goes on the table. That is all. No picking to use it before hand etc.

 

We have laptops for watching movies and playing games and the boys now each own an itouch. We don't own a real TV.

 

When we only had the one laptop, it didn't come on at 4:30 until there was an agreement between the two of them about what they were going to watch. I needed to see compromise and turn taking before they could watch anything. It never comes on without a plan for what to do with it. It's like opening the fridge, you have to know what you want before you open it. No standing in the breeze. They are very good at negotiating with each other now. It is generally pleasant and we haven't had an argument in a while. They know it won't go on until the argument is resolved by THEM, not by me. I am there to help them negotiate, but I don't solve it or make any pronouncements.

[lea1]

I have two sons and we let them have 15 minutes each on weekdays (30 on weekends) but they watch each other play like you mention so they are really getting 30 minutes. Maybe you could tell them they could pick one sibling to watch each time so they have a total of 30 minutes. At least that would cut it down a bit.

 

As for movies, our sons take turns picking the movie for the day. They can watch a 30 minute movie on weekdays and a longer movie on the weekend. They had such a bad habit of bugging each other about which movie to pick and arguing and getting upset about it that I invoked a new rule. No bad comments on the chosen movie when it is not your turn to pick. If you break the rule, you miss your turn to choose the following day.

[swellmomma]

They like to watch each other but usually the player tells them to get lost. If they are watching and cooperating I let them stick it out and still have a full screen turn. At this point the only time my 2 boys speak to each like equals is when they are playing against each other on a video game. Heck today ds13 was on a game here, ds8 was at gramma's house 2 hours away playing the same online game and they were on the phone talking each other through, planning strategy etc.

 

Generally computer turns they get 30 minutes each if all 4 are here and want turns, some days they get longer, some days they got none, it all depends on the schedule. When not on the computer as long as school and chores are done ds13 is usually playing his xbox (now that he has earned it back) or watching dvds the other kids watch him or they all hang out and watch the dvds. I don't really care and don't take away their own computer turn from doing so.

[Loudwater School]

I have three boys, ages six, nine and twelve. I just set up their screentime schedule for the upcoming school year. It will be one turn each with the internet (which = Minecraft in their heads) for one hour each from two PM to five PM on weekdays, four weekdays a week. That's their ONLY screentime- no other iPad, computer, television, DS. (They don't actually have a DS or TV.) It feels like a lot, but it's less than the national average and at least they're actively constructing, researching and collaborating rather than staring at a show. I realized they would all be watching each other the whole time, but since they're interacting about it and bonding in a way they don't over anything else, I don't mind. Minecraft is one of the few things my three sons will all do happily together and three hours a day of that, after six hours of mom-intensive schoolwork, sounds good to me. They still have time to read, write and draw quietly in the evenings after dinner, and they have time to goof off in the real world during our long three-day weekends.

[ShannonS]

My children are similar in age to yours and I had the same problem, so I developed a token system. See pic.

 

It really helped my children 'visualize' the use of their time. Watching a sibling play costs the same amount of time as playing alone would. If sister plays 20 min on the computer and brother wants to watch, he can now see the consequence on board. They have actually learned to wait their turn (for the most part.) It has also been a great system because getting tokens taken away is a consequence of bad behavior. It's an "If X, then minus two tokens" kind of deal....They get it.

 

I loves it. :tongue_smilie:

[BakersDozen]

Watching a sibling play costs the same amount of time as playing alone would.

:iagree: (however I don't use the tokens).

 

Our dc get 50 minutes of screen time (computer/Wii/movie) per day in the summer. Once school starts there is no screen time until Saturday when they get an hour of computer plus a movie. If one wants to watch a sibling on the computer they are using their own time up. I found some of them "nickling and diming" their time (ie: "I watched her for 10 minutes, him for 15, now I get the rest of my time."). The rule is that if they sit and watch then they've used their time, so they might as well hang out and watch for the time that is left. They learn real fast to not watch a sibling. ;) I can't keep track of all those minutes here and there so it makes it easier on me! I've made sure to have the computer positioned in such a way that it isn't easy for the dc to just stop and watch - they have to make an effort to see what another dc is doing.

 

TV isn't an issue since we don't have it - best decision ever (imo, of course). :D The "littles" watch a 30-minute video each day and I have a chart on the wall of who gets to choose the video so as to reduce the squabbling.

[LostSurprise]

I've done it a few ways.

 

At one point everyone had to play at the same time. No one wanted to watch anyone else. Unfortunately there weren't enough laptops for people to enjoy that. There was a lot of whining.

 

 

Right now they each have a day, (with one day everyone playing together). They have 60 minutes. One person plays and everyone else watches. With only 60 minutes I don't care if they watch. At least it doesn't feel like half day the day is spent playing and watching.

[Kelly1730]

When it's only my two sons involved, they each get 30 minutes whether it's a Wii game or a game on the laptop. Sometimes they play separately, sometimes they play together (then I allow them both the full hour) or sometimes they watch each other. I let it up to them to decide. I try to always set a timer or I will forget about them because I am enjoying the blessed quiet just a bit too much!;)

[Pamela H in Texas]

Yep, that is our problem. Until summer, it was NONE. A movie or two on the weekend (my choice!) and that was it. Now? I still make the choice, but they are watching tv daily, mostly Andy Griffith on Netflix. And I'm still not doing computer time (I lost our Kindle Fire soooooooooo.....). I actually would LIKE my 5yo to do certain things on the computer (and I even bought him a Wii game), but like you said, everyone ends up crowding. When the 6 and 4yo were taking naps, he got some time during naptime, but now no one takes naps most days and some of the times they do, he does also.

 

I just don't know....It is a pain. I'm just not willing to give everyone 30 minutes of each time because that would amount to 3 hours altogether and that is just WAY too much, imo. THis is especially true as they require an extreme amount of physical activity yet would choose screen staring over anything else. Weird!

 

OH, and my kids? They'll watch tv NO MATTER WHAT. I had a show on the other day with the volume turned all the way down (I can listen through my hearing aids). They stared. Another time, I accidentally put on a show in Spanish and they stared at it the ENTIRE 30 minutes though they couldn't understand a word it said. ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!