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Feeling like a failure...blah.


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IDK what's wrong with me. I feel like a miserable failure. I can't seem to make any of the kids happy. The baby is colicky, the 5yo is quite the ball of attitude, and the 2yo is hot and heavy in the terrible twos. I go back to work in 9 days and I think I will be glad to get out of here for 12 hrs and I feel awful that I think like that.

 

Most of my coworkers are pursuing advanced degrees and I don't have the time or the money to go back to school right now.

 

My mom (who I love dearly and usually get along great with) is constantly bragging to me about her nephew (who she raised after I was married) is doing great in school, has a 4.0 and is about to take the mcat for med school.

 

Blah blah blah....:(

 

Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

You do know that not one of the things you've listed makes you a failure, right? And that most people have experienced them, and that it is not at all unusual to look forward to getting out of the house on your own?

 

You're a good mother and in no sense a failure, I promise. And I don't even know you!

 

I hope your day gets better soon,

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

You do know that not one of the things you've listed makes you a failure, right? And that most people have experienced them, and that it is not at all unusual to look forward to getting out of the house on your own?

 

You're a good mother and in no sense a failure, I promise. And I don't even know you!

 

I hope your day gets better soon,

 

Thanks...I needed that :)

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The baby is colicky

 

Yup, you had me right there. I remember those days. Colic colored every day in dark gray. Dd14's crying time was about 6:30pm to 9:30pm. I couldn't even enjoy the daytime because I dreaded the evening. After I finally got her to sleep, I was exhausted and depressed. It was so not a good time.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

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Yup. Agree with pp. Colicky baby is sooooo hard when life is enough as it is a lot of the time, yk? Give yourself a much needed hug momma and just keep keeping on. This too shall pass. And it is just fine to think it will be nice to be away at work. It is okay to look forward to working. Do not beat yourself up about that. :)

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If he (the baby that is) wasn't so darn cute I might lose my marbles! I've tried gripe water, mylicon, swaddling, white noise, baby wearing, more naps, eliminating dairy from my diet, warm baths, and massage. He is on Zantac for reflux but may switch to Prevacid. I'm open to any advice!

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If he (the baby that is) wasn't so darn cute I might lose my marbles! I've tried gripe water, mylicon, swaddling, white noise, baby wearing, more naps, eliminating dairy from my diet, warm baths, and massage. He is on Zantac for reflux but may switch to Prevacid. I'm open to any advice!

 

Only two things sort of worked with my oldest dd. She would quiet a little when we turned on the vacuum, and sometimes she would fall asleep if we put her in the car and drove around.

 

For my youngest dd, I put her infant seat on top of the running dryer, and yes I stayed right next to her!

 

What we did most of the time was hand the baby off and go get some peace and quiet. It was harder to do with my youngest because I had other children. Neither of them were bothered by her crying though and would usually watch tv for a while before bed. Whichever parent wasn't with the baby put the other kids to bed and read ALOT to stall going back into the living room. :tongue_smilie:

 

My son didn't have colic. I think my girls are just high maintenance! They obviously take after me. :D

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Speaking of colic, I just remembered: my pediatrician recently told me that probiotics will often cure colic almost instantly. How I wish I had had this option when my dd was a baby! It's worth asking your doctor about.

 

Take care,

 

I will!! Thanks!

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Just seeing this now, but I wanted to send more :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:! I'm glad you are finding something that helps the baby. Wish I was there to help out, because I remember those long and lonely days vividly!!

 

I'm seconding the person that said to remember that these things don't make you a failure. I have to keep remembering minute by minute that A) other people, even kids, have choices to make in their behavior and their unhappiness does not *necessarily* reflect on me in any sort of "failure" way, and B) just because things are hard (or impossible) doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong. In fact, I'm probably doing most things right, because a well lived life can be just as hard or harder than a poorly lived one!

 

Ugh, off my soapbox, sorry!!! You hit a nerve.

 

Here's more hugs :grouphug: and a wish that things get better soon.

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UPDATE......

 

Baby does indeed have reflux. After increasing Zantac to appropriate does for his weight he is much happier and so am I! :D

 

Yeah! With one issue gone, the others seem so much more manageable, don't they? I'm trying to decide which child's issue to deal with first.

 

You're not a failure until you stop trying!

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Just seeing this now, but I wanted to send more :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:! I'm glad you are finding something that helps the baby. Wish I was there to help out, because I remember those long and lonely days vividly!!

 

I'm seconding the person that said to remember that these things don't make you a failure. I have to keep remembering minute by minute that A) other people, even kids, have choices to make in their behavior and their unhappiness does not *necessarily* reflect on me in any sort of "failure" way, and B) just because things are hard (or impossible) doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong. In fact, I'm probably doing most things right, because a well lived life can be just as hard or harder than a poorly lived one!

 

Ugh, off my soapbox, sorry!!! You hit a nerve.

 

Here's more hugs :grouphug: and a wish that things get better soon.

 

Yeah! With one issue gone, the others seem so much more manageable, don't they? I'm trying to decide which child's issue to deal with first.

 

You're not a failure until you stop trying!

 

Thanks you! Yes, everything does seem a little more manageable. I am tackling eliminating food dyes from 5yo ds's diet. I know for certain he reacts to red#40 but I also suspect yellow #5. I guess I will be doing a whole bunch of from scratch cooking!

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