What to do with this interest?

[dragons in the flower bed]

I have a twelve-year-old sister who has always been in school, mostly a little private Catholic one but now she's ill and the district is sending tutors for her. She does not apply much self-discipline in academic areas. She was a mid-life crisis baby, and her father is Colombian (which is a culture of extreme child indulgence), and so she just doesn't get much discipline of any sort. My mom is starting to get worried because she's failing all classes that aren't very easy for her (like English and art) just because she doesn't put in the effort to actually do any assignments. Mom views me and my boys as some sort of educational wonders who get amazing stuff done and have tons of self-discipline (which is silly) and she keeps asking me for my advice. I was the one who recommended asking the district to send tutors, since she's sick and missing school a lot anyway. Hopefully my sister won't be able to slip off the radar of individual tutors like she did in classes.

 

But anyway, that wasn't what this post was about. My sister IS diligent and works hard in areas that interest her. In fact, she shows amazing commitment, maturity and ability to pick up new skills on her own, in her own domains.

 

Her hobby is translating Japanese songs from obscure anime into English. She's teaching herself Japanese and also a modern mythical language, kind of the equivalent in Japan to Tolkien's Elvish. This kid is capable and smart and good with languages (was raised bilingual - bet that helps). She's got an amazing singing voice too.

 

She's also great with anything to do with making movies, from costume and make up to post production effects. She makes some amazing and hilarious stuff with my sons when they visit, including a lengthy film in which my six-year-old starred as a superhero who could fly.

 

My question is: where does she go with that? If she were an unschooler, and for all practical purposes she is since she's working hard to pretend school doesn't exist, into what career would these interests lead her? She's very focused, disciplined, patient and diligent when it comes to learning this stuff. Where, out into the world, does she take that? If there are websites, camps, classes, anything, that I can direct her to, please send links. But mostly I'm wondering what kind of job this could lead to.

 

A second question is ethical. Our mother seems to be completely oblivious to my sister's activities. Mom has never shown any interest in the hobbies and skills of any of her kids, to the point where I wonder if she has some psychological issues about it. For example, when I was published in an international poetry mag at age thirteen, the youngest writer to have been in that magazine, she sad, "Oh, all teen girls write poems," and changed the subject and refused to take the extra copy of the magazine Dad (who I lived with) had put aside for her. So I am pretty sure that even if I say to Mom, "look, lady, your kid is a genius, just totally not into the school game -- look at these amazing movies she's making" she won't be relieved. But, my sister is posting these videos on Facebook at 4:30 AM, saying she was up all night getting the vocals laid down. She's online even when Mom has reported to me that she's been grounded from the computer, and she's not online chatting with friends but working on her videos. If my sister is working hard on something and doing a great job with it, do I want to rat her out and tell Mom she's up all night long and that's why she can't pay attention to her lessons during the day? I would hate to see Mom take her studio equipment away, and I would especially hate for my sister to remove me from her online social network so that I can't rat her out again. What would you do?

[elegantlion]

I would not tell on her. I'm not sure that's 100% correct, but I wouldn't.

 

My ds is similar to your sister. He will spend hours doing what he adores, but whine if it has to do with math or writing. IMO, there are a million creative careers her interest could lead to. What about art school? I'd probably get online and look at art college entrance requirements.

 

I try to preface the tough stuff to ds as it is necessary to make the creative stuff a career choice. (I'm tired and distracted so if I use "stuff" "thing" and bad grammar that's why...) Writing is about communication, math is important in creative endeavors. I remind ds that it doesn't matter his talent if he can't communicate properly in written and spoken forms.

 

I get the oblivious parent thing too, my mom was that way. She still is. I'll be talking about ds doing something and she makes a comment and then changes the subject. She's not actually apathetic, but she's not wowed either. That type of attitude kept me from pursuing many things as a child. To this day I struggle with my creative side because it's never felt validated.

 

Ds has also become more interested in literature and history as he sees items being used in his interests. He collected Magic the gathering cards and there are ton of literary references in those cards. I've tried to tie his other interests back to good literature. We're reading Beowulf right now and discussing modern superheros. On his own he's been watching videos, he was telling me about one with Stan Lee the other day.

 

You may need to be the one to encourage to keep up the creativity and remind her that strong academics will help her in that endeavor.

 

I'd love to know what Japanese Elvish-ish language she's studying, that would be right up ds's alley.

[Teachin'Mine]

I definitely wouldn't rat her out, but I would let her, your sister, know that you know she's doing that stuff late at night. Then I'd make a pact that I wouldn't tell mom IF she puts effort into her regular school studies and starts showing improvement. She's obviously very gifted in her areas of interest and she should be encouraged in this. Is there any outlet for her talents at the school? I wonder if she's not putting effort into the other subjects just because she's not interested in them and can get away with it, or if they're progressing too slowly and not holding her interest. Years of boredom in school can lead to shut down. Just a thought.

 

And a belated congratulations to you on getting your poetry published! Awesome!!!! :001_smile:

[SkateLeft]

My question is: where does she go with that? If she were an unschooler, and for all practical purposes she is since she's working hard to pretend school doesn't exist, into what career would these interests lead her? She's very focused, disciplined, patient and diligent when it comes to learning this stuff. Where, out into the world, does she take that?

 

I have a good friend who majored in international relations in college, studying Arabic and Spanish. Now she works in global communications and public relations representing government and commercial interests in Arabic media. I'm probably not describing it well, but it sounds really cool when she talks about it.

 

I think there are lots of opportunities for creative people who are skilled in speaking foreign languages in fields like communications, international relations, translation, anthropology, etc.

 

Oh, and I wouldn't rat her out, but it's a tough call. A 12 year old (who can't even have a Facebook account without lying about her birth year on the registration form), posting videos to FB in the wee hours is a bit wacky, even though I'd want to encourage her creative endeavors.

[freerange]

I definitely wouldn't rat her out' date=' but I would let her, your sister, know that you know she's doing that stuff late at night. Then I'd make a pact that I wouldn't tell mom IF she puts effort into her regular school studies and starts showing improvement. [/quote']

:iagree:

[J-rap]

Wow, first I'd like to say that you sound like an incredibly smart and stable person for someone who grew up in an environment that perhaps was not very encouraging. I wouldn't rat on your sister either -- given the situation (as long as she's not getting herself into trouble, I don't see why you would need to). Instead, I would be the one to cheer her on and encourage, when she may not be getting that from your mother.

 

I have a couple of ideas for if she goes back to school... In the metropolitan area near us, there are actually schools that specialize in the arts/music, or language immersion. The arts/music school requires that you have a strong interest in the arts or music, you get to pick your specific field (music writing/performing, theater, computer graphics, filming, etc.), and then it has that as the concentration of your high school years while also getting in the academics required to get a high school degree. And, it's a charter public school so is tuition-free. There are also language-immersion schools where all the classes are taught in the language you are trying to learn. Some of these begin as early as elementary school, others begin in high school.

 

I wonder if your sister would blossom under either of those circumstances?

[ktgrok]

Maybe get her some brochures and information from some film schools? Let her see how cool it would be to do as a career, then point out the requirements to get into such schools.

[dragons in the flower bed]

Wow, first I'd like to say that you sound like an incredibly smart and stable person for someone who grew up in an environment that perhaps was not very encouraging.

 

My folks divorced when I was small. I was mostly raised by my father and paternal grandmother. They are very encouraging people who lived a lifestyle of learning and loved me enthusiastically and unconditionally.

 

 

 

I wouldn't rat on your sister either -- given the situation (as long as she's not getting herself into trouble, I don't see why you would need to).

 

I'm not going to do so. I was leaning towards not, but I thought I'd check in just to make sure I wasn't being weird. I'm glad that everyone has affirmed my gut feeling.

 

 

 

In the metropolitan area near us, there are actually schools that specialize in the arts/music, or language immersion. <snip>I wonder if your sister would blossom under either of those circumstances?

 

That does sound great. I think I would have to fill out all the paperwork myself. My mom is not the kind to go too far out of her way to make something like that happen. I have no idea how to find something like that downstate, let alone push Mom through the paperwork. It's definitely worth a try, though. I think I'll start Googling.