How do I *tactfully* inform this person of a problem?

[Janna]

I need to be able to let this person know there's a problem with the way a service, *run by volunteers* is being conducted at the same time showing sensitivity and gratitude. I need to do this because I have been on both sides of this service - a long time volunteer, and most recently a recipient. If I had not just experienced being on the receiving end, I wouldn't know this problem exists. But since I'm also on the *giving* end of it and we're representing an organization, even though we're all volunteers, I feel like I have a responsibility to let it be known that it's flawed and therefore negatively affects the people whom we're supposed to be serving in times of need, and therefore negatively affects this service and organization.

 

Because it's all volunteers, and because it's volunteers meeting the needs of others, I don't know how to word this with grace and *understanding* for the situation, because the leader of this service could very easily become defensive and suggest that this service could just not exist period, rather than trying to make it better, kwim? I just don't want to make her defensive, which I have a habit of doing. Usually when I let someone know about something, I just kind of throw it out there. This requires much sensitivity. Is there a way to help me with this without divulging the details? I do not want to some across as complaining, especially since I was a recipient.

 

Thanks!

[Tammy]

Well I think it is going to be hard for us to help you....since we don't know what you want to improve upon...KWIM? I think you could start by saying just what you said here....since you have been on both sides of the fence.....maybe such and such would work better.....how 'bout that?

[momofkhm]

is that people brought you meals after the baby was born and now you are having issues returning the pans. I'm in charge of this particular ministry at our church. When I send out each request, I state that "it is easier on the recipient to not have to return pans to people. Disposable pans work great." I don't know how this works in actuality, I take disposable pans but I don't know if other people do or not.

 

If this is the issue, maybe ask the person in charge to help you return pans so she can see what a problem it is. Or just be frank and say "You know, I loved the meals people brought, but it's so hard returning pans since it's summer and people are in and out of church on vacations. Do you think it would be possible to request meals in disposable pans? It would have really helped me out and, just think next time, (elderly) Mrs. Smith has surgery, she won't have to worry about returning pans during recovery either."

[Tammy]

Wow....how do you all remember all this stuff.....I am WAY out of the loop!

[Julie in Austin]

It is hard to answer without knowing specifics, but I am wondering if a "great idea for improvement" is a better approach than "you need to fix this mess" if that makes sense.

[Brindee]

I thought of the meals after the baby too. I also think just explaining it's already a great system, and now that you've seen it work from both sides, you're wondering if maybe "this" would make it easier on the people on the receiving end. Hopefully she won't get upset by that!

[Janna]

is that people brought you meals after the baby was born and now you are having issues returning the pans. I'm in charge of this particular ministry at our church. When I send out each request, I state that "it is easier on the recipient to not have to return pans to people. Disposable pans work great." I don't know how this works in actuality, I take disposable pans but I don't know if other people do or not.

 

If this is the issue, maybe ask the person in charge to help you return pans so she can see what a problem it is. Or just be frank and say "You know, I loved the meals people brought, but it's so hard returning pans since it's summer and people are in and out of church on vacations. Do you think it would be possible to request meals in disposable pans? It would have really helped me out and, just think next time, (elderly) Mrs. Smith has surgery, she won't have to worry about returning pans during recovery either."

 

It is about meals after the baby, but has nothing to do with the dishes. In fact, everyone has been great about bringing meals in disposable containers. It's more about the scheduling - being told by the lady in charge which days to expect the meals and then NOT getting them the day you expected, leaving us scrambling to figure out dinner. And one day we hadn't been home and literally walked in 5 minutes before a lady showed up with a meal - we had no idea she was coming or bringing a meal. It was awkward and what if we hadn't gotten home in time? And so it's also about that - people are supposed to call you before hand so you 1.) you're home and are aware they're coming 2.) they can find out about allergies and how many people will be eating. Most people did not call first (the one bad thing about mapquest - people can find out how to get to you when before people HAD to call to get directions).

 

So it makes me wonder if I have unknowingly done this to people. Meaning, did the leader tell someone in need a day she would have a meal but then notify me to deliver one and it wasn't on the day the people were expecting? There's no way I would have known that, though I do make sure I call first - usually at least 1 day before I'm coming, and no one has said "Oh, we weren't expecting a meal today" (though I haven't said that to anyone either).

 

So there you have it.

[summer]

I do not see how to help if we do not have the details. I am thinking you want help with the wording, but, we cannot word something we know nothing about. I do think, though, that you need to speak to her in person, in privacy. That way, she is more likely to take it seriously when it is said to her by someone she knows.

[Mrs Mungo]

It is about meals after the baby, but has nothing to do with the dishes. In fact, everyone has been great about bringing meals in disposable containers. It's more about the scheduling - being told by the lady in charge which days to expect the meals and then NOT getting them the day you expected, leaving us scrambling to figure out dinner. And one day we hadn't been home and literally walked in 5 minutes before a lady showed up with a meal - we had no idea she was coming or bringing a meal. It was awkward and what if we hadn't gotten home in time? And so it's also about that - people are supposed to call you before hand so you 1.) you're home and are aware they're coming 2.) they can find out about allergies and how many people will be eating. Most people did not call first (the one bad thing about mapquest - people can find out how to get to you when before people HAD to call to get directions).

 

So it makes me wonder if I have unknowingly done this to people. Meaning, did the leader tell someone in need a day she would have a meal but then notify me to deliver one and it wasn't on the day the people were expecting? There's no way I would have known that, though I do make sure I call first - usually at least 1 day before I'm coming, and no one has said "Oh, we weren't expecting a meal today" (though I haven't said that to anyone either).

 

So there you have it.

 

I would go to the person in charge and say "when people brought meals to my family there were a few small hiccups, can we talk about how to avoid these in the future?"

 

First, any family being provided with this service should be asked about allergies by the leader and those should be provided to the helpers. There should also be a set time that people bring the meals over with the allowance that if people would like to drop off at a different time then they need to call the family and make arrangements.

 

I've been in a few different groups that had different ways of going about this, so here are some different ways to handle it:

 

1. Everyone brings a frozen dish to the person in charge and the person in charge drops them all off. This could give you a week's worth of meals but only one person dropping by, making it less intrusive.

 

2. Specific people could be assigned a specific night of the week or specific days of the month if you have enough people involved. So, Susan brings meals on Mondays, Pam brings meals on Tuesdays, etc. *Or* Susan brings meals on the 1st and 15th, Pam on the 2nd and 16th, etc.

 

I know we've done it other ways as well but I'm trying to get past this sinus headache, I'm going to have to think on it a bit.

[snickelfritz]

Each family gets 5 meals. Arbitrary, I guess. It's just what we do. THEY get to pick WHEN they get them. Some want to wait until all of their help has gone home. Some want them every other day and some want them every day. We also usually do a sign-up sheet that lists the dish, so that they don't get 5 chicken casseroles in a row.

 

Could you suggest change by intervening in the next recipient? Say something like "I would love to take a meal to so and so. Would you like me to call and find out when she would like to get them and find out if they have any food allergies?" This would work for several of the issues. Or tell her the situation where you almost weren't home as a way of reminding everyone to call. By offering to cook one of the meals, it's also reiterating that is it a worthy thing to do and you are happy to participate.

[Mrs. Readsalot]

I think any orgainization has room for improvement, whether paid or not. I would suggest a suggestion form to be delivered with each meal that includes a self address stamped envelope. You could then fill out the form and make your suggestion anon. The only flaw with this is the postage and the fact that some may not use the forms.

[teamturner]

Each family gets 5 meals. Arbitrary, I guess. It's just what we do. THEY get to pick WHEN they get them. Some want to wait until all of their help has gone home. Some want them every other day and some want them every day. We also usually do a sign-up sheet that lists the dish, so that they don't get 5 chicken casseroles in a row.

 

 

This is how my church does it. The organizer sends out an email to those on the meals list with the dates the person receiving the meals has requested. We reply to all with the date we want and what dish we are bringing. The organizer lets everyone know on the original email any food issues for the family, how many people we need to prepare for, and how the recipient would like to be contacted regarding delivery. I think doing it by email if very efficient. If everyone knows all the names/dates, they can always switch with someone else if they cannot take a meal on the day they signed up for.

 

I really hope the person/s in charge of arranging meals will be willing to improve the system. That's terrible that you didn't get a meal when you were supposed to. :eek: I think if it's worded with warmth and grace that's really all you can do.