advice needed for 2 year who picked up saying something not so kind.

[lynn]

She picked up shut up and you idiot from her older brothers and although it was suggested to igore it because she is only 2.5years old it is getting annoying. We have her saying stop it or be quiet for something gentler sounding than shut up but the you idiot one gets under my skin. We've tried time out giving her some silly word to use in it's place but yet it stays and when your tired the last thing you want to hear is "you're an idiot' We do call the boys on this when I hear them say it and discipline accordingly so it's stopped just about completely from them. Any other ideas or suggestions or do I just need to keep ignoring and reminding her that what she is saying is not very nice and let it play out?

[Jen500]

I would just give her time to lose interest in those phrases. As long as no one else in the house is using them. I've found my ds3 will pick up a phrase after hearing it just once. If I ignore it he usually never says it again. But if he hears it at all again, or if anyone giggles or responds to his use of the phrase, he starts repeating it. Dh and I have really had to watch our words since we've had kids!!

[katilac]

I know some people are comfortable ignoring this, but I never was. And I think any child old enough to use these phrases in context is old enough to learn NOT to use them. So I would not discipline a one-year-old who repeats the word idiot at random, but I would discipline a two-year-old who calls their sibling an idiot when annoyed.

 

I"d start with consistently stopping her every single time she uses it, giving her a timeout or whatever method you use for other issues. Then I'd step it up a bit, giving her more of a 'fussing' when she does it. I'd have no problem saying, "We were going to go the park, but we can't go because you keep saying naughty words. You'll have to stay home from the park until you stop saying them." Repeat with ice cream, toy store, favorite tv show, etc.

 

If the substitute phrases worked well for "shut up," use them here, too. "You can't call your brother names, but you can tell him that he's annoying you. You can't call him names, but you can say that he's making you mad. etc"

 

I'd have pretty severe consquences for older kids who use this kind of language - - it's a big peeve of mine. Everyone should be treated with respect. Also, one instance from an older child will set the younger child way, way back.

[Mandy in TN]

She picked up shut up and you idiot from her older brothers and although it was suggested to igore it because she is only 2.5years old it is getting annoying. We have her saying stop it or be quiet for something gentler sounding than shut up but the you idiot one gets under my skin. We've tried time out giving her some silly word to use in it's place but yet it stays and when your tired the last thing you want to hear is "you're an idiot' We do call the boys on this when I hear them say it and discipline accordingly so it's stopped just about completely from them. Any other ideas or suggestions or do I just need to keep ignoring and reminding her that what she is saying is not very nice and let it play out?

 

No help here just sympathy. I have a 17yo ds, a 14yo ds, and a 5yo ds. The 5yo has wonderful hand-eye coordination and can genuinely compete with many teens on video games. Nothing like hearing a 5yo say, "I am so going to pwn you, newb." This is just teen lingo, but some of it can be quite cruel, not that they mean it when talking to each other, but it is horrifying to hear it come out of a 5yo- even if the 5yo thinks he is 15yo.

 

Mandy

[summer]

Every time she says it, I would wash her brothers' mouths out with soap...or some other very serious punishment. I would not do it in front of her as you do not want to fuel it on. But I would punish the older brothers who taught her it every single time she says it as if they said it.

[Jen500]

Every time she says it, I would wash her brothers' mouths out with soap...or some other very serious punishment. I would not do it in front of her as you do not want to fuel it on. But I would punish the older brothers who taught her it every single time she says it as if they said it.

 

I really disagree with this strategy. In my house it would just cause anger all around-the older kids being angry at the younger one (because they ultimately have no control over his behavior) and towards the adult for unreasonable punishment. It goes against one of the main things I try to teach my kids as they grow-that the only person's behavior they can control is their own.

[Julie Herbster]

I would just give her time to lose interest in those phrases. As long as no one else in the house is using them. I've found my ds3 will pick up a phrase after hearing it just once. If I ignore it he usually never says it again. But if he hears it at all again, or if anyone giggles or responds to his use of the phrase, he starts repeating it. Dh and I have really had to watch our words since we've had kids!!

:iagree:

 

I'd simply remind her that we don't talk that way...and have her apologize to whoever she "talked ugly" to, even if it means apologizing every few minutes. (I love living in the South; I've found the word "ugly" to be very useful in many contexts!) This is how we deal with disrespect among the other siblings. Disrespect to parents is more serious, of course.

 

My dh is an actor in a weekly comedy show--all good, clean humor, but words like "idiot" and "shut up" are used. I generally don't let my younger children attend, but as they grow and understand the comedic context, they are allowed to see more. They know they are not ever to use these words, and they've never done so.

[Tammy]

LOL...and what happens when mom or dad slip up and say something they shouldn't....what will be their punishment, LOL!