Impish Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Gah! *headdesk* This is a three part vent/rant. One...I, without thinking, posted on my FB...said that I was having a good hair day, had a happy baby, and it would be a good time to Skype, thinking one of my friends would be around, or even Wolf's cousin's wife, whom I adore. Unfortunately, I forgot that Wolf's aunt wasn't blocked... And guess who responded? Yup. The aunt. Wanting to Skype. Problem is several...One, MIL doesn't know we have a web cam. We don't WANT her knowing we have a web cam. She can barely manage her email (she's accused me of deleting pics I've sent her :001_huh: ) and I can't imagine the hissy fitting she'll have that a) we didn't tell her and b) attempting to get it set up and working. Plus...I can't imagine the nightmare it would be...she'd be constantly demanding that we skype. Daily. I'd rather chew glass. If I had Skyped w/aunt, MIL would have a meltdown that we'd Skyped w/aunt, but not w/her first. Then, Wolf, realizing that he hadn't heard from NMIL this past wknd, called her. Did. Not. Go. Well. At one point, I could hear him telling her, "Mom! Get a grip!" Then...(cause you just KNOW it couldn't end there!) MIL obviously got off the phone and emailed me. Remember how she'd said, all huffy/martyr that she wouldn't visit til next yr, and I figured that that wouldn't last? Ya huh. She's babbling in her email about coming this summer. :eek: Now, what's your advice...When it comes to chewing glass, should I go w/really BIG pieces, or the small wee ones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Well, if you have to eat glass, make it stained glass so you can at least ingest a piece of art! :D I may be time to leave the country! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 Well, if you have to eat glass, make it stained glass so you can at least ingest a piece of art! :D I may be time to leave the country! Faith Thanks for the grin. I'm gonna fess up to something else too... I had a very blunt chat w/MIL when I refused to call her 'Mom'. I was kind, but firm. Not. Going. To. Happen. So, WHY does she insist on signing every last bit of correspondence that's solely addressed to me as 'Mom Firstname'? It seriously annoys me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerPoppy Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Wow--my sister's MIL does that exact thing to her, too! Sister had the serious chat declining calling her "mom", and MIL still signs every correspondence with Mom Lastname. Drives my sister batty, and that's just a small thing in the grand scheme. So at least you're not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 Wow--my sister's MIL does that exact thing to her, too! Sister had the serious chat declining calling her "mom", and MIL still signs every correspondence with Mom Lastname. Drives my sister batty, and that's just a small thing in the grand scheme. So at least you're not alone. That's just it...I realize it's not a huge issue, but it feels disrespectful anyways. Like, b/c I said no, she pushes it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 If you do not provide a new address she will not be able to visit after the move. Seriously, I would probably do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I wouldn't respond to her emails or her phone calls. Ever. Let Wolf handle his mother, and for heaven's sake, don't allow the visit this summer. (If she insists, forget my advice about not talking to her, and pick a huge, massive, World War III fight with her, so she'll be so spitting mad that she'll stay home.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 I wouldn't respond to her emails or her phone calls. Ever. Let Wolf handle his mother, and for heaven's sake, don't allow the visit this summer. (If she insists, forget my advice about not talking to her, and pick a huge, massive, World War III fight with her, so she'll be so spitting mad that she'll stay home.) I haven't been responding to her emails, and I don't talk to her when she calls except for once every few months, and then it's as a favour to Wolf. Here's the thing... Nobody 'allows' her to visit. She doesn't ask. She tells ppl she's coming, and that she's staying w/them, and for how long. Her family has always tolerated this...so now I have to deal w/an 80+ yo woman who thinks it's acceptable behaviour. Wolf and I have no problem telling her no. It's getting her to LISTEN to the no that's the problem...cause she either a) doesn't 'hear' it at all, or b) takes it as an offence and a personal challenge. I *knew* she wouldn't keep the not visiting til next yr thing. Da*n it. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 If you do not provide a new address she will not be able to visit after the move. Seriously, I would probably do this. I wouldn't mind at all...however, I'm not sure Wolf would get on board w/this idea, LOL I'm considering not giving my mother our new addy and ph# though. She hasn't bothered to return msgs, nor to call and find out if Wolf got the job. Kills me. I had folks here posting and asking, and praying for us...but my mother can't be bothered. I suspected something like this would happen, or that she'd put it down (she wants us to move back to my home province so she's w/in striking...errr...visiting distance) so I wasn't going to tell her, but Tazzie let the cat outta the bag, so she knew. I guess I'm disappointed that she did what I suspected she would...I keep hoping she'll prove me wrong. Blech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Can you rent a PO box in a neighboring town to give as your address. ;) Have you found a very small home to rent/buy that has no rooms for guests except down the road in a motel? :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Can you rent a PO box in a neighboring town to give as your address. ;) Have you found a very small home to rent/buy that has no rooms for guests except down the road in a motel? :grouphug::grouphug: See, if we tried this...our MIL would simply bring her own blow-up mattress and set it up on the floor. Or, she would say that she would sleep on the couch. "No" is a challenge for her to get around...not an absolute. Going away during the "visit" time frame is our only way out, but that simply delays the inevitable. :lol: Sorry, Imp :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 Can you rent a PO box in a neighboring town to give as your address. ;) Have you found a very small home to rent/buy that has no rooms for guests except down the road in a motel? :grouphug::grouphug: Wolf goes this wknd to try and find us a place to live...frankly, what we're finding wouldn't allow a guest... See, if we tried this...our MIL would simply bring her own blow-up mattress and set it up on the floor. Or, she would say that she would sleep on the couch. "No" is a challenge for her to get around...not an absolute. Going away during the "visit" time frame is our only way out, but that simply delays the inevitable. :lol: Sorry, Imp :grouphug: :iagree:Only diff is, she would demand that Diva use a blow up mattress or couch. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerPoppy Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) That's just it...I realize it's not a huge issue, but it feels disrespectful anyways. Like, b/c I said no, she pushes it. No, no... :) I don't mean it's a small issue--I mean that my sister's MIL does MUCH worse things than just that particular thing! (Well, to be fair, she's not a horrible person, but she has NO boundaries. Among other personality issues.) Edited March 9, 2012 by GingerPoppy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 That's just it...I realize it's not a huge issue, but it feels disrespectful anyways. Like, b/c I said no, she pushes it. Maybe she's saying she's "Mom" to your husband - which she is - as well as respecting your wishes by calling herself lastname? Maybe it isn't as nefarious as you think. And as far as Facebook goes, this is just reason 1, 365, 498 why I choose not to have one. Nobody knows all my business. I prefer it that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Her family has always tolerated this...so now I have to deal w/an 80+ yo woman who thinks it's acceptable behaviour. She's 80 years old? She's not going to change now and she'll be gone before you know it (been an orphan for years and years myself). I don't know the whole backstory, but I'd try to show some grace here. If she were 55, I might approach it a bit more forcefully...but she's 80. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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