Vent: office staff

[Pamela H in Texas]

Okay, my three littles go to two different schools. At the one school, the office never has the lights on which I simply don't understand; but the staff is sweet, helpful, etc. I have gotten ONE phone call from the nurse. The other school is like walking into (or being called from) another world. They are snotty, have attitudes, can be ugly and petty. I get calls 2 and 3 times per week from the nurse about one thing after another. They were ugly even enrolling foster kids because I can't possibly have all the information. And the nurse didn't know (???) that a child past the age of 60months can't get a certain vaccinations nor is it required by law.

 

Okay, two recent incidents that just solidifies my resolve to NEVER send another child to this school no matter what.

 

1) In September, my daughter had picked up my other son without having to use ID and I expressed my concern of letting someone they didn't know pick up my kids since my children's birthparents had just gotten paperwork saying where they went to school. Well, they've never asked her for ID since (not a big deal since they know she's my daughter); but they also didn't ask my hubby for it two weeks ago which upset me (but I didn't say anything). Since my littlest does SO poorly at school, I pick him up at 11:30 (it is a full day program). So I pick him up EVERY SINGLE DAY; but Wednesday, she asks me for ID. Seriously? She points out our discussion in September. Really? GRRR

 

2) Yesterday, my son gets to school, goes to breakfast at 8am (eating yogurt, muffin, milk), and I get a call at 8:10 that he is in the nurses office sick. OH? Does he have a fever? No. Has he thrown up? No. How is his color? Does he SEEM sick? I told him that he had said he wanted to stay with me that morning. And they KNOW my kids have behavior issues (including feigning sickness to get their way...one even throws up on a whim!). Anyway, finally, not knowing what she wants me to say (I even asked her!), I say I'll pick him up. I had two appointments for his brother in Dallas and didn't have time to argue with the school. So I go pick him up. The staff is rude from the get go. Why do they have to be ridiculously ugly? This time, I decided not to just take it (though maybe I shouldn't have been SO obnoxious):

 

ME: So is A**** having any signs of illness?

NURSE:He said he didn't feel good, that his tummy didn't feel well.

ME: His color is good. Does he have a fever?

NURSE:No

ME: Has he thrown up?

NURSE: Not yet.

ME: Well, *I* haven't thrown up and none of the rest of my family has either because WE are not sick.

NURSE: No answer.

ME: Okay, well, AJ, I guess you get to come home with mommy...well, we aren't going home...you get to run all over creation with mommy. A school-sanctioned day off! (as we're walking out of the office) How do you feel?

AJ: Fine.

 

Now, the normal office staff and nurse were giving me nasty looks (deserved this time, I admit); but the new lady was stifling a laugh. I smiled to her and said have a good day. Maybe she is onto them already? Maybe I could just deal with her the rest of the school year?

 

Seriously, I'm just done. It has been MONTHS. And these people are NUTS. How long did they think I would just take it when I have to deal with them every day?

 

I'm a bit concerned about the nurse's stuff though just because she is the first line of defense should something REALLY happen to students in the school. I've had her call me more than once because my son exhibited a disturbing issue when they allowed him to nap though I've asked him not be allowed to do. But she calls me EVERY time anyway. "Ummm, I will speak to the teacher again, but this is JUST like the last time. There is NOTHING wrong with him. He just isn't supposed to sleep during the day." This finally stopped after the principal was brought in. ANd she calls to ask permission to do something AFTER she's done it. Ummm, no, that isn't acceptable! IF you are to ask permission, then ask FIRST.

 

Anyway, just a little while longer....I will pull C the moment I get permission to or the second he is adopted, whichever is first. I do plan to leave AJ there til the end of the year. But the more I deal with them, the less I want to.

 

Sometimes I want to go to my daughter's school just so I can deal with some sanity and to remind me that there IS sanity in the school system. LOL

[Nart]

Okay, my three littles go to two different schools. At the one school, the office never has the lights on which I simply don't understand; but the staff is sweet, helpful, etc. I have gotten ONE phone call from the nurse. The other school is like walking into (or being called from) another world. They are snotty, have attitudes, can be ugly and petty. I get calls 2 and 3 times per week from the nurse about one thing after another. They were ugly even enrolling foster kids because I can't possibly have all the information. And the nurse didn't know (???) that a child past the age of 60months can't get a certain vaccinations nor is it required by law.

 

Okay, two recent incidents that just solidifies my resolve to NEVER send another child to this school no matter what.

 

1) In September, my daughter had picked up my other son without having to use ID and I expressed my concern of letting someone they didn't know pick up my kids since my children's birthparents had just gotten paperwork saying where they went to school. Well, they've never asked her for ID since (not a big deal since they know she's my daughter); but they also didn't ask my hubby for it two weeks ago which upset me (but I didn't say anything). Since my littlest does SO poorly at school, I pick him up at 11:30 (it is a full day program). So I pick him up EVERY SINGLE DAY; but Wednesday, she asks me for ID. Seriously? She points out our discussion in September. Really? GRRR

 

2) Yesterday, my son gets to school, goes to breakfast at 8am (eating yogurt, muffin, milk), and I get a call at 8:10 that he is in the nurses office sick. OH? Does he have a fever? No. Has he thrown up? No. How is his color? Does he SEEM sick? I told him that he had said he wanted to stay with me that morning. And they KNOW my kids have behavior issues (including feigning sickness to get their way...one even throws up on a whim!). Anyway, finally, not knowing what she wants me to say (I even asked her!), I say I'll pick him up. I had two appointments for his brother in Dallas and didn't have time to argue with the school. So I go pick him up. The staff is rude from the get go. Why do they have to be ridiculously ugly? This time, I decided not to just take it (though maybe I shouldn't have been SO obnoxious):

 

ME: So is A**** having any signs of illness?

NURSE:He said he didn't feel good, that his tummy didn't feel well.

ME: His color is good. Does he have a fever?

NURSE:No

ME: Has he thrown up?

NURSE: Not yet.

ME: Well, *I* haven't thrown up and none of the rest of my family has either because WE are not sick.

NURSE: No answer.

ME: Okay, well, AJ, I guess you get to come home with mommy...well, we aren't going home...you get to run all over creation with mommy. A school-sanctioned day off! (as we're walking out of the office) How do you feel?

AJ: Fine.

 

Now, the normal office staff and nurse were giving me nasty looks (deserved this time, I admit); but the new lady was stifling a laugh. I smiled to her and said have a good day. Maybe she is onto them already? Maybe I could just deal with her the rest of the school year?

 

Seriously, I'm just done. It has been MONTHS. And these people are NUTS. How long did they think I would just take it when I have to deal with them every day?

 

I'm a bit concerned about the nurse's stuff though just because she is the first line of defense should something REALLY happen to students in the school. I've had her call me more than once because my son exhibited a disturbing issue when they allowed him to nap though I've asked him not be allowed to do. But she calls me EVERY time anyway. "Ummm, I will speak to the teacher again, but this is JUST like the last time. There is NOTHING wrong with him. He just isn't supposed to sleep during the day." This finally stopped after the principal was brought in. ANd she calls to ask permission to do something AFTER she's done it. Ummm, no, that isn't acceptable! IF you are to ask permission, then ask FIRST.

 

Anyway, just a little while longer....I will pull C the moment I get permission to or the second he is adopted, whichever is first. I do plan to leave AJ there til the end of the year. But the more I deal with them, the less I want to.

 

Sometimes I want to go to my daughter's school just so I can deal with some sanity and to remind me that there IS sanity in the school system. LOL

 

I am sorry you are having issues with the office staff. Unfortunately, at many schools the office manager is really rude which sets the tone of the office. I work as a school psychologist so I go into and out of many schools and I know exactly what you mean. At some schools the people who work the front office are really wonderful and helpful. I have entered other school who don't know who I am and am appalled that they can be so rude. Once I identify myself as a district employee and not a parent, their attitude changes slightly. It tends to be at more affluent schools the office manager can't be rude because parents wouldn't put up with it. At schools that have many students who are poor and whose parents don't speak English, the office managers get away with being rude.

The only recourse is to email the principal with complaints. I wouldn't advise speaking to the principal in person because there is no record of what really took place. Email provides a paper trail and complaints are taken more seriously. Also you could get a doctor's note that your little kids are healthy, have no medical problems that should require them to leave school, and so they need to stay in school.

[Slipper]

Okay, my three littles go to two different schools. At the one school, the office never has the lights on which I simply don't understand; but the staff is sweet, helpful, etc. I have gotten ONE phone call from the nurse. The other school is like walking into (or being called from) another world. They are snotty, have attitudes, can be ugly and petty. I get calls 2 and 3 times per week from the nurse about one thing after another. They were ugly even enrolling foster kids because I can't possibly have all the information. And the nurse didn't know (???) that a child past the age of 60months can't get a certain vaccinations nor is it required by law.

 

Okay, two recent incidents that just solidifies my resolve to NEVER send another child to this school no matter what.

 

1) In September, my daughter had picked up my other son without having to use ID and I expressed my concern of letting someone they didn't know pick up my kids since my children's birthparents had just gotten paperwork saying where they went to school. Well, they've never asked her for ID since (not a big deal since they know she's my daughter); but they also didn't ask my hubby for it two weeks ago which upset me (but I didn't say anything). Since my littlest does SO poorly at school, I pick him up at 11:30 (it is a full day program). So I pick him up EVERY SINGLE DAY; but Wednesday, she asks me for ID. Seriously? She points out our discussion in September. Really? GRRR

 

2) Yesterday, my son gets to school, goes to breakfast at 8am (eating yogurt, muffin, milk), and I get a call at 8:10 that he is in the nurses office sick. OH? Does he have a fever? No. Has he thrown up? No. How is his color? Does he SEEM sick? I told him that he had said he wanted to stay with me that morning. And they KNOW my kids have behavior issues (including feigning sickness to get their way...one even throws up on a whim!). Anyway, finally, not knowing what she wants me to say (I even asked her!), I say I'll pick him up. I had two appointments for his brother in Dallas and didn't have time to argue with the school. So I go pick him up. The staff is rude from the get go. Why do they have to be ridiculously ugly? This time, I decided not to just take it (though maybe I shouldn't have been SO obnoxious):

 

ME: So is A**** having any signs of illness?

NURSE:He said he didn't feel good, that his tummy didn't feel well.

ME: His color is good. Does he have a fever?

NURSE:No

ME: Has he thrown up?

NURSE: Not yet.

ME: Well, *I* haven't thrown up and none of the rest of my family has either because WE are not sick.

NURSE: No answer.

ME: Okay, well, AJ, I guess you get to come home with mommy...well, we aren't going home...you get to run all over creation with mommy. A school-sanctioned day off! (as we're walking out of the office) How do you feel?

AJ: Fine.

 

Now, the normal office staff and nurse were giving me nasty looks (deserved this time, I admit); but the new lady was stifling a laugh. I smiled to her and said have a good day. Maybe she is onto them already? Maybe I could just deal with her the rest of the school year?

 

Seriously, I'm just done. It has been MONTHS. And these people are NUTS. How long did they think I would just take it when I have to deal with them every day?

 

I'm a bit concerned about the nurse's stuff though just because she is the first line of defense should something REALLY happen to students in the school. I've had her call me more than once because my son exhibited a disturbing issue when they allowed him to nap though I've asked him not be allowed to do. But she calls me EVERY time anyway. "Ummm, I will speak to the teacher again, but this is JUST like the last time. There is NOTHING wrong with him. He just isn't supposed to sleep during the day." This finally stopped after the principal was brought in. ANd she calls to ask permission to do something AFTER she's done it. Ummm, no, that isn't acceptable! IF you are to ask permission, then ask FIRST.

 

Anyway, just a little while longer....I will pull C the moment I get permission to or the second he is adopted, whichever is first. I do plan to leave AJ there til the end of the year. But the more I deal with them, the less I want to.

 

Sometimes I want to go to my daughter's school just so I can deal with some sanity and to remind me that there IS sanity in the school system. LOL

 

I make friends with the office staff the second my kid(s) hit a new school. lol That being said, it's not fun when they aren't friendly.

 

The first school (with the lights off) might have a valid reason for no lights. I know at our school, the buzzing fluorescents gave the secretary a headache. They eventually covered them with light coverings but until then, she kept the lights off.

 

If you have a child presenting with odd symptoms, it might be worth it to get a 504 or even just a doctor's note detailing what is needed. When my oldest was much younger (and still in pull ups at public school) she had chronic diarrhea. The school went nuts and said they couldn't keep a child with diarrhea, it was in the school handbook. However, since it was a medical condition (and she had already missed forty days of school), a doctor's note settled them down (and I sent in extra boxes of gloves and wipes, since I do sympathize). It might be that once your child gets to the nurse, she has to call, in which case the issue is with the teacher.

 

Good luck and I hope things turn around for you soon!

[Pamela H in Texas]

I figured there was a reason that one school didn't use lights in the office. I have actually been in almost every school in the district (worked for the district) and this is the only school that does that. I think it is because Mrs. H has such a SUNNY disposition that she lights up a room (she really does!). My hubby volunteered (we have a Dad's volunteer program) and said this one teacher was so rude and snippy it wasn't funny. We all wondered how that was even POSSIBLE with Mrs. H around. Your whole day brightens if you've seen Mrs. H! LOL

 

I guess I just never knew how bad it could be. I don't understand WHY it would be that way. I know being obnoxious myself wasn't the best response, even after several months of their behavior. I just got frustrated. I'm *sure* it is worse because I actually have to go into the office each day to get my son. It should change SIGNIFICANTLY as soon as we get permission to pull the little one (or the adoption goes through). No doubt that will help. I will not be sending another child to that school though.

 

BTW, not a low income area. Just typical suburbia. I have found that some of the kids who live "up there" seem to think they are "rich" because they live in THAT subdivision (a problem with some adults who live in ours too, btw). These are just VERY middle class subdivisions. If anyone is feeling high and mighty living here....weird.

[Sneezyone]

We must be dealing with the same elementary school. They actually called me to pick up my kid (no fever, no vomitting, just intermittent coughing fits) at 2:30p...the school day ends at 3p. I've literally started screening their calls. It's ridiculous. There are indeed little drama kings/queens roaming the halls and, sadly, mine is one of them.

 

What I want/need them to do is acknowledge whatever non-critical ailment she has, pat her on the back or give her a hug, and send her little behind RIGHT BACK TO CLASS! If they did that a couple times, they'd never see her again! :glare:

 

And no, they don't check ID's at DDs school either. They didn't at her private school (only auth. vehicles with stickers allowed on campus) but they would have upon request.

[Pamela H in Texas]

So wanna hear my punishment for being a snot myself?

 

A.J. felt puny and didn't eat yesterday. A little bit of urgent pottying. No biggie.

Now I am up at 3something in the morning with my oldest boy and youngest boy puking everywhere.

 

Okay, lesson learned. Even if people are ugly for months, *I* don't get to be ugly, even once.

[katilac]

The one thing I will defend them on is calling you in when ds said he was sick. How mad would we be if one of our kids WAS sick and not allowed to call home, b/c he wasn't throwing up and the teacher didn't think he 'looked' sick? Sadly, there are parents who will complain about being called, and then turn around and complain the first time they AREN'T called.

 

If it's a recurring problem, I'd sit down with the teacher and nurse and work out a plan for when the parent should/shouldn't be called, but I can't blame a school for calling the parent when a child claims to be sick. If they took it upon themselves to simply not call, they're opening themselves up to not only anger but liability. I wouldn't be surprised if they insist on calling the parent no matter what, and leaving the decision to come or not up to them.

 

I'd focus on the biggest problems first, rather than a scatter-shot approach. No sane principal is going to argue that IDs shouldn't be checked, especially where small children are concerned. You should be able to solve that one by uttering the magic word, liability. If the principal isn't sane after all, just mention checking with the head office for clarification. And, yes, this does mean they might retaliate by having making you show ID every single day. Just roll with it :lol:

[Pamela H in Texas]

katilac,

 

If kids are sick they should be sent home. However, there are guidelines IN THE HANDBOOK for when this should happen. Right before spring break, the nurse called my friend. "Your daughter has a temperature." A didn't want to go to school so went to the nurse. THe nurse took her temp and it was 99.1. When *I* was in school, you had to have over 100.3 to be sent home. Well, the nurse insisted so my friend picked up her kid and then had to keep her home the next day too because it has to be over 24 hours. So Wednesday, friend sends kid who has shown NO sign of sickness to school. Teacher sends kid to nurse and nurse takes her temperature. This time, it was 99.3. They called home. My friend took her own thermometer up there. 98.3. Nurse checks again. 98.9 but my friend HAD to take her home because "she had a fever when she originally called." Um, no she didn't. I told my friend that I would have pointed out the information in the handbook, but....

 

ANyway, so we continued to have issues with being called 2-3 times per week. Then my son was up at 10:30 at night freaking out about being sent to the nurse's office. I wrote a very clear email saying that unless my son met one of the criteria in the handbook, he was not to be sent to the nurse. It has been quiet for almost a month <ahhh peace>.

 

BTW, I've also killed the snottiest woman with kindness. The other one isn't so bad when it is just her up there (and lately, that has been the case).

 

Anyway, it has been better. They just are like unruly 3yos, need you to be extra clear and firm but sweet :)