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Ideas for stubborn almost 4yo


Snickerdoodle
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My almost 4yo needs some kind of school work-ish activity to do when my 6yo is doing his work. He has a huge speech delay, doesn't like to be read to, and doesn't like coloring or drawing. But all the same, I can see that he feels left out when big brother is doing his lessons. Everything I've tried doesn't seem to work, i.e. coloring, cutting and pasting, those books where you scribble and a picture magically appears, lift the flap books, stickers, colorforms, et cetera.

 

Is there some kind of curriculum I could use for him? I'm not really all that concerned with academics for him at this point, I just want him to feel more included and be less destructive off in the corner somewhere. I don't want any screen time, so computer stuff is out.

 

Any ideas?

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Do you ever have him listen to books on tape? My dd listened to books on tape by the HOUR when she was that age. She didn't like to color, do puzzles, or any of those typical things either. She had a stuffed pig and would listen to Charlotte's Web with it. He might like to play with blocks or do something kinesthetic. Is this a boy or girl? Have you looked in the Timberdoodle catalog for edu toys? Laurie makes really nice lace-up cards I wish I had gotten at that age. We also did Alphabet Art together, just a letter of the week and some fun activities (craft, fingerplay, rhyme, etc.). My dh did lots and lots of projects from the Judy Press art books like Big Art for Little Hands. There's another nice one with a zoo theme. Most are pretty simple, using paper plates and whatnot.

 

If he has a speech delay, does that affect what he enjoys? Like maybe he doesn't really understand what he's hearing or enjoy it? Maybe keeping the level simpler would help. The Wee Sing tapes are so sweet and wonderful for that age. Books on tape where it dings to turn the picture. He might like to hammer and wham. Never too soon to give a boy (or a girl!) tools. My dd got a play tool set when she was that age, one of those Home Depot kits with a belt, hat, hammer, saw, etc., and boy dd she have fun with it! He might like to have his own dress-up or play corner, with a play kitchen or tool stand, some appropriate tools (pots, play food, blocks of wood). If it has buttons or make noise it would probably go over big. My MIL made my dd a kitchen out of a large cardboard box and she STILL plays with it, all these years later! She covered it with contact paper and cut doors for an oven, etc.

 

He might like to work with homemade playdough. I let my dd us a silpat baking mat as the surface. Ruined the mat, but now we don't have messes. One of those laminated placemats might work as well too. You could color rice and make a box of it to scoop and play with funnels. Or use beans or lentils. You could color pasta and let him string it.

 

I guess none of the things I've described are particularly schoolish, but they are contained, age-appropriate, and things he can do in a corner if you create a safe place for him. If you haven't, you might carve him a corner and really set it up, say with a curtain, his own reading bean bag, a kiddie tape player and tapes, his own things to keep busy with (tools, kitchenette, whatever). And then you could do that Alphabet Art together once a day as your time together.

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If he has a speech delay, does that affect what he enjoys? Like maybe he doesn't really understand what he's hearing or enjoy it?

 

That's exactly it. He's almost four but he's more like a young toddler in a big body. And he's very destructive.

 

Wee sing could be a good possibility. I need to check that out. Also the Alphabet Art. Thanks!

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Do you have math manipulatives? They are a big hit here with my 3yo dd and almost 2yo ds. Another thing we have especially enjoyed is our easel. It has a whiteboard on one side and a chalk board on the other, plus it has a roll of paper to pull down over the white board side to use for painting, crayons, etc. They enjoyed the easel earlier than they liked to sit down with a coloring book. The only school-related things that we do are games. I play pre-reading games with dd often, using ideas from SWR and Montessori Read and Write. We also sometimes pull out Math Play, Science Play, and Wow I'm Reading and dd is allowed to pick out her own activity. HTH.

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That is a great site!

 

Playdoh is not a great option for us because my son likes to eat it. Not eat little bits of it, eat as in chow down on it. Don't even mention edible playdohs. Please. <insert: Mama gone crazy laugh>

 

LOL, how about Delta Sand with little guys and animals? I know it can be messy, but my little ones like it and it gives me some time. I guess you would probably know if he would want to eat it.

 

Also, a few days ago someone mentioned starfall.com and my guys have REALLY enjoyed the alphabet games.

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My son likes the Lauri puzzles we have the ones from MFW they are very simple but teach shapes, colors numbers, we also have a rice box that is a box full of rice and assorted kitchen toys and trucks. My son is a train fanatic and can play thomas the tank engine by the hour and I'm teaching his numbers and colors with them. he knows all their names and can tell me about each one. He also likes books of cars where there are just pictures of cars and trucks and he likes me to tell him the name of everything then he tells me the name and the color and we count how many trucks. This might help with verbal just naming things. My little one loves the preschool curriculum little hands to heaven. It is very simple and short and good for boys that don't want to sit and listen for more than 30 seconds. My son gets very destructive and bothers everyone when I sit down for school with my kids so we sometimes will put the rice box right next to the table or he will do the puzzles on the table, sometimes we can convince him to go play trains or cars. We also have little plastic animals that he will play with at the table. He didn't like to color until just recently. Now he only wants to color if I color with him.

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Snickerdoodle, I'm sure you're considering this (and not like I have any experience), but it seems like you're saying your ds has a level of destructiveness and habits BEYOND what you'd consider normal boyishness. If so, are there any therapies or things to pursue? I know you said tv glazes him over, but I'd consider some calming things, both nutrition and screen time like Mr. Rogers. My dd still adores Mr. R, and you can't get much calmer than that.

 

All I'm really saying is to trust your gut and see what options there might be if his behaviour is unusual.

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Oh my, you have my son! Lol. Mine does like to color (everything)! I just bought Speechercize (sp?) it's on the way so I hope this will help my trying to talk ds3 (4 in May).

 

Hands-on stuff helps with him:

- transferring beans from container to container

- pretend cooking & real cooking when we can

- register play with paper money and real coins (if you can trust him not to swallow)

- My First Scissors by Friskar with construction paper (we have Kumon waiting for him to exhibit some control)

- Dry Erase board under close supervision, also dry erase activity books

- Magnetic pattern board by Melissa & Doug

- simple puzzles, esp. cars/trucks/plains/trains

- Magnetic Maze board where he leads balls through the maze with a magnetic pen

- Adventures in Odyssey CDs, loves these!

- Bible songs, Toddler songs CDs

- LeapFrog Fridge Magnets and DVDs

- AquaDoodle Mat

- Wedgits

- Three Bear Family and activity cards (sorting, etc.)

- ViewMaster, the slide that rotates

- plenty of exercise, outside and inside with videos & Mommy

- a basket of board books for his reading time with his special chair

 

He loves to play with our manipulatives which I allow as long as there's no chance (or huge expense) of him breaking it. He's loving old-fashion clothespins right now, w/o the hinge for some odd reason.

 

I hope this helps! I can't say it works all the time but the BIGGEST thing is making sure he gets his own Mommy time. This does make a difference but I also notice that he has to direct the time with me. Sigh.

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First off, some kids are much more sensitive to the stimuli of tv and computers. If you feel you need to limit his time doing that, by all means that's what you should do. Even the gentlest of programs can stimulate a sensitive child too much by just being on.

My favorite thing we've done is purchasing the Handwriting Without Tears cards and wood pieces. They can go through the cards and build all the letters even without me working with them. When they get ready I go through and work on getting the steps in order and learning the letter names. To start off with though, just working with them is enough.

We have used the kumon books, which I love. They're great when the kids want to do school work but they're not really ready yet. It sounds like you've gotten a lot of great suggestions, but I wanted to mainly reinforce that you follow your gut on the screen time issue.

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I'm sure you're considering this but it seems like you're saying your ds has a level of destructiveness and habits BEYOND what you'd consider normal boyishness.

 

I don't think it's above and beyond. I feel that he is acting out a bit because he is jealous of the time I spend with his brother. I want him to feel that he's included in lesson time. I just haven't found anything that works yet. But there are good ideas in this thread.

 

Oh my, you have my son! Lol. Mine does like to color (everything)! I just bought Speechercize (sp?) it's on the way so I hope this will help my trying to talk ds3 (4 in May).
Speechersize? I need to check that out. Thanks.

 

 

There are a lot of great ideas on this thread. Today I will try the "scooping the beans into little jars" idea, while I am reviewing all of these resources. I'm not feeling bad about limiting his screen time. The boys do get to watch a little tv everyday and I feel that's enough for their ages.

 

Thank you!!

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