Islam question for Muslims

[Mom-ninja.]

So Islam does not recognize adoption?

 

I'm reading a book, and in the brief history of Islam, it states that the Prophet had a revelation that told him "that adoption was now no longer legally permitted, and so did not confer the status of parenthood."

 

 

Can/do Muslims legally adopt?

[AHASRADA]

I only have a moment, but the brief explanation is that yes, Muslims can adopt, but it must be an "open adoption", in the sense that the child should always know he was adopted, who his birth family is (if possible), etc.

 

Islam sees caring for and raising orphans as an incredibly noble form of charity, for which one receives great blessings. It is simply in the interest of maintaining knowledge of lineage, heritage, genetics, etc. that adopted children are recognized as such.

 

HTH,

[Kate in Arabia]

I want to emphasize that #1 there is a range of understanding of adoption among Muslims, so one statement or opinion does not mean that all Muslims think the same thing or that a given understanding is "right" or "wrong" for all Muslims and #2 Muslims are exhorted repeatedly in the Qur'an to care for orphans.

 

That said, the issue of adoption from a religious legal standpoint can be complex. There are those who view adoption very much as mentioned above -- it is fine and normal, the child should simply know he/she is adopted.

 

However, others following a more legalistic approach will consider whether an adopted child can be considered mahram; breastfeeding a child makes the child "legally" of your family -- meaning they can't marry your other children, etc. Without breastfeeding, in this line of thinking, the child theoretically could marry your biological children; at puberty they would need to be covered/segregated by gender; they would not automatically inherit (you could write them into your will, but they would not be automatically entitled as biological children would be), etc.

 

I wanted to give this other opinion, because I am sure there are many websites on Islam (by Muslims) that will state that adoption in the "western sense" is not allowed; this is one viewpoint. It is not the only viewpoint.

[Amy in TX]

Essentially agreeing with both Kate and AHASRADA. The main thing to remember is that it is a very praiseworthy thing in Islam to raise an orphan. I think this may be what worries non-Muslims when they read that "adoption is forbidden in Islam." That doesn't mean that it is forbidden to raise orphans, giving them all the love and care you would give your son or daughter. Far from it--it's strongly encouraged.

 

What we may not do (as I understand it) is obscure someone's biological parentage. The child, and the community in general, must not be under a false impression of who their mother and father were.

[Heather in Neverland]

Essentially agreeing with both Kate and AHASRADA. The main thing to remember is that it is a very praiseworthy thing in Islam to raise an orphan. I think this may be what worries non-Muslims when they read that "adoption is forbidden in Islam." That doesn't mean that it is forbidden to raise orphans, giving them all the love and care you would give your son or daughter. Far from it--it's strongly encouraged.

 

What we may not do (as I understand it) is obscure someone's biological parentage. The child, and the community in general, must not be under a false impression of who their mother and father were.

 

Very interesting. So do Muslims consider adopted children to be the same as birth children? Caring for/raising orphans is one thing but treating them as a birth chld is another. I have a birth child and two adopted children and there is absolutely NO difference in my mind as to them all being my "real" children (as others have tried to point out to me).

 

In Islam are they treated the same (even if they are not breasted)?

[Kate in Arabia]

So do Muslims consider adopted children to be the same as birth children?

 

It depends on the individual Muslim.

[oldskool]

Very interesting. So do Muslims consider adopted children to be the same as birth children? Caring for/raising orphans is one thing but treating them as a birth chld is another. I have a birth child and two adopted children and there is absolutely NO difference in my mind as to them all being my "real" children (as others have tried to point out to me).

 

In Islam are they treated the same (even if they are not breasted)?

 

From my understanding, they should be treated the same. That does not mean however that everything is the same. I know that it is very important in Islam for the adopted child to keep the last name of the birth parent. Knowing lineage is considered a right of the adopted child. Another thing that is different would be the inheritance rights as a pp had mentioned. What Islam mandates and how Muslims act can be very different. This would be no different than some Christians who may treat their adopted children unfairly compared to their birth children. That would not because of a grounding in the Christian faith and instead is just an individual action. Unfortunately for many Muslims the level of knowledge of the Islamic faith is lacking. Often it is infused with cultural practices that are at odds with Islamic teaching, but over time it becomes difficult for people to see the two as separate. My overall point then is that Muslim practice needs to be separated from Islamic teaching when looking at topics such as adoption.

[LND1218]

That would not because of a grounding in the Christian faith and instead is just an individual action. Unfortunately for many Muslims the level of knowledge of the Islamic faith is lacking. Often it is infused with cultural practices that are at odds with Islamic teaching, but over time it becomes difficult for people to see the two as separate. My overall point then is that Muslim practice needs to be separated from Islamic teaching when looking at topics such as adoption.

 

Can you explain what you mean in the bolded statement?

Thanks!

[Heather in Neverland]

From my understanding, they should be treated the same. That does not mean however that everything is the same. I know that it is very important in Islam for the adopted child to keep the last name of the birth parent. Knowing lineage is considered a right of the adopted child. Another thing that is different would be the inheritance rights as a pp had mentioned. What Islam mandates and how Muslims act can be very different. This would be no different than some Christians who may treat their adopted children unfairly compared to their birth children. That would not because of a grounding in the Christian faith and instead is just an individual action. Unfortunately for many Muslims the level of knowledge of the Islamic faith is lacking. Often it is infused with cultural practices that are at odds with Islamic teaching, but over time it becomes difficult for people to see the two as separate. My overall point then is that Muslim practice needs to be separated from Islamic teaching when looking at topics such as adoption.

 

 

Thank you for clarifying that. I was curious because it bothers me when people treat adopting orphans as a "charitable" thing. People tell me all the time that I am SUCH a good person for adopting twice. :001_huh: I didn't do it because I felt sorry for them or as act of charity. I think when you look at your adopted child as charity rather than just another way that God creates families, it causes that different treatment between adopted and birth children.

[Ottakee]

How/where would they get the child to adopt? I can see where in the US, it would be harder to adopt an infant child as often those are closed adoptions and the child doesn't know their birth last name (and often doesn't have a first name).

 

Is adoption done mostly through the Muslim community itself?

[stripe]

Adoption in the sense of wiping out the memory of birth parents is not allowed. One's heritage should always be known. (This prevents things that have recently surfaced of unknown sperm donors giving huge numbers of donations, which could possibly lead to inadvertant incest.) However, taking care of orphans is very highly emphasized as a virtue, and orphans as a special group needing protection. And yes, orphan-care is seen as a charitable act. I think people may see this as a different thing, depending on their culture, which may seem odd to Americans, but because charitable acts are woven into the fabric of everyday life, and one is not supposed to lord one's charitableness over the recipient ("I adopted you and have given you a home, so you'd better be greatful!). I think for those whose parents have died, simply being given a caring home and food to eat, is such an enormous relief (esp for older kids who understand the transition more than a baby), and many people are more able to graciously accept and given charity than is normally done in the US. One must also consider the harsh conditions under which Arabs lived at the time of the beginnings of Islam, and the cultures in which Muslims around the world live. In other words, that orphaned kids could easily die of exposure to the elements, starvation, or turn into prostitutes is neglected, so this is their safety net. Also, there are very dire warnings against stealing orphans' property/wealth that they may have inherited from their parents. So people are supposed to carefully manage their money and not exploit them.

 

So in most traditional cultures the adopted kids are those whose parents have died. I personally know Muslim orphans who feel they were better taken care of than their adoptive parents' birth children because their adoptive parents wanted them to feel loved and not abandoned after suffering so much. I have not seen a lot of sibling rivalry type feelings stemming from this.

Edited December 23, 2011 by stripe

[Laurie4b]

How/where would they get the child to adopt? I can see where in the US, it would be harder to adopt an infant child as often those are closed adoptions and the child doesn't know their birth last name (and often doesn't have a first name).

 

Is adoption done mostly through the Muslim community itself?

 

And most children available for adoption in the US are not orphans. I am guessing that is not the case in Muslim countries.

[cin]

Very interesting. So do Muslims consider adopted children to be the same as birth children? Caring for/raising orphans is one thing but treating them as a birth chld is another. I have a birth child and two adopted children and there is absolutely NO difference in my mind as to them all being my "real" children (as others have tried to point out to me).

 

In Islam are they treated the same (even if they are not breasted)?

 

Somewhat off topic, but doesn't that tick you off? Just so know Heather, I have no 'real' children. So you're not alone. But I would LOVE to know who these children are that are sleeping in my house, eating my food, and well, killing our budget this December :D I say eating and sleeping, but well, you know, they've really just TAKEN OVER the whole freakin' house. And they aren't my real children?

 

ok, OT rant over. Carry On.

[oldskool]

Can you explain what you mean in the bolded statement?

Thanks!

 

What I mean is that many Muslims do not act from the guidance of Islamic teachings. They identify themselves as Muslims, but not all of their actions are correct or necessarily stemming from Islam. A person can identify with a faith without being fully informed about their religion.

 

Hope that explains the statement a bit better.

[Heather in Neverland]

Somewhat off topic, but doesn't that tick you off? Just so know Heather, I have no 'real' children. So you're not alone. But I would LOVE to know who these children are that are sleeping in my house, eating my food, and well, killing our budget this December :D I say eating and sleeping, but well, you know, they've really just TAKEN OVER the whole freakin' house. And they aren't my real children?

 

ok, OT rant over. Carry On.

 

:lol::lol:

 

Exactly. I am so sick of that. And I think because we have one birth child and two adopted, people look at us like "what wonderful people! They can have biological children and they are adopting anyways. They are saints and those children are so lucky!"

 

Where is the smilie of me barfing? Trust me, I am no saint. And honestly, I am the lucky one. Not my children.

[Bassoonaroo]

And honestly, I am the lucky one. Not my children.

 

I really like you, Heather!

 

Last night we went caroling with two co-op families. At the end, one family left and as the other one was saying goodbye the mom commented on how wonderful it is to see a family like the one that just left a few minutes before. The family has three biological children who are very tall and white -- just like their parents. And then two adopted Chinese children, a boy and a girl who are not related to each other but are short, dark, and black-haired. I guess it's quite obvious to those who don't know them who in their family are adopted, but my other co-op friend and I were commenting that we have to remind ourselves that those two youngest kids ARE adopted. In our minds they are 100% "Smiths" just like the tall, white kids are. It's hard to imagine them as anything but Smiths, and it's hard to imagine the Smiths without them. One day, I am going to ask the mom if she had an easy pregnancy with "Sue" the youngest one. Oops. That's a successful adoptive family. And the parents feel that they, like you, are the lucky ones!

 

And Heather, I'm guessing your friends see you the same way. I am guessing they "forget" who is biological and who is adopted because of how your family is one...

[Osmosis Mom]

I agree with the sentiment and facts my Muslim sisters have expressed. I guess Muslim care-taking of orphaned children, or abandoned for that matter, legalistically would be more like fostering, but on a permanent basis. The child is never going to be under the impression that he was born from thosr people raising him, but that they love him and will protect him all for the sake of God. I was raised myself from preteenhood by my Muslim stepmother who in terms of love and sacrifice was more like a mother than my biological one. However, she never scolded me or made demands on me, something a bio mother does. She suffered a lot from my behaviour initially actually, but left it to God to guide her and me and give her patience. I was hurt at times when people would refer to me as her not real child, but that was the reality. I love her deeply today, 30 years later, and appreciate everything she did for me despite or because of me not being her biological child.

 

Islam is a merciful religion that teaches and practices outreach and love and mercy for the sake of God. People who cannot have children carry that as a test from God. A hard test, but not one that can be remedied by adopting an orphan as your own, but certainly by including an orphan into your family amd raising them as a trust from Allah.