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when your children are passive aggressive


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I have one child in particular who is quite passive aggressive. Some days I think I want to be actually aggressive with him. It is maddening.

 

He will do very little work, not read carefully, etc....and then come and whine that he "doesn't get it." However, when I do it WITH him, even if I don't do the work, he gets it easily.

 

So, I have stopped doing it. He is capable.

 

He doesn't like that one bit. So, to find the page (say page 50) he will ssssllllloooowwwwwlllllyyyyyy thumb through pages 1-50 to get to the page, fein misunderstanding, not be able to find his pencil all of a sudden, mumble under his breath about how unfair it is, etc.....

 

I have talked to him, I have taken things away, I have threatened, I have punished, I have sent him out.....but this personality trait isn't going away. It rears up again the 2nd day.

 

This is more of a vent.....he is normally a very loving kid, but there are certain triggers that set him off and he is like a pit bull, not able to let go of whatever it is.

 

Dawn

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I have one like that. He is going to send me to the Betty Ford clinic.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

Mine would sit and look at his foot for hours. I would walk by...point and say do the next one....he would....repeat as nauseum. I never figured it out...except it is his problem now. He is 20 and on his own. He is a pleasdure because he like the path of least resistance. He can OK someone to death....seriously.

 

No answers....just commiseration....and he didn't outgrow it....sigh....

 

Faithe

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My 7 yos are like that sometimes with schoolwork. I don't see it as passive aggressive though. I see it as a lack of executive functioning. And not a terrible lack. Just a normal 7 yo lack. Also just a totally natural and normal desire for my motherly attention. Sometimes it's irritating though. I don't dispute that one bit. And there's no excuse for whining.

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Oh my word! we just spend 15 minutes on ONE thing because he doesn't want to do it, he wants me to spoon feed it to him. I am refusing.

 

He is now crying and I sent him out to regroup amongst himself! :lol: He is mumbling under his breath and banging his books down and crying.

 

Dawn

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