Does anyone else's accelerated kid have trouble with birthdays?

[Dmmetler]

DD tends to do well and be happier with older kids-to the point that she ends up getting bumped up, not just in academic activities, but in general. However, every year we seem to go through a couple of weeks of angst leading up to her birthday. I don't know if her talking about her upcoming birthday leads to questions about her age or just makes people aware of it, but she ends up very frustrated and feeling very inferior because she's not "old enough" and that all her friends are picking on her. In many cases, the comments don't seem teasing or "picking" at all-just slight surprise that DD is younger than they thought she was (In some cases, I think the comments were intended to be complementary-she ended up crying in the car after dance team because of a comment that she's on level 2, not on level 1-the only way to make it on the higher level before age 8 is to be good enough to qualify, so I seriously doubt anyone was teasing her about being good enough to test into the older group at age 6!).

 

 

I think this year it's especially bad because she IS dealing with one specific bully at co-op, who is picking on DD, so she's hypersensitive, but I've seen it for the last 3 years (ever since she started regularly getting age-accelerated). And I know it will get better in about 3 weeks, once she feels she has that coveted "older kid" status-even though she'll STILL be younger than a majority of the kids she spends time with.

 

But I'm wondering if anyone else sees this?

[2smartones]

Yes. And it comes in waves. Sometimes it's an end-of-the-world deal, and sometimes it's nothing. No advice! Sorry! :confused:

[Runningmom80]

My DS just turned 5 over the weekend. We had all sorts of issues from being mad that he didn't get his "top 3 list" items and being sad that he was growing up.

 

 

I'm dreading Christmas. :-/

[Jenny in Florida]

I was one of those kids. I never especially liked my birthday, and by the time I was a young teen I was outright miserable about it. Things really came to a head the year I turned 14. It all felt so worthless, because everyone else I knew was older and getting driver's licenses and doing all kinds of cool things, and I was still "the young one."

 

I still don't like my birthday, even though I am by no stretch young any longer. I just don't have any positive associations with it, and I intensely dislike what I perceive as the obligation to pretend to be happy.

 

In your daughter's case, it may well have to do with the fact that she is younger than everyone else and just trying to blend. Then along comes her birthday, which draws attention to the fact that she is different.

 

By the time my kids were that age, we were able to have meaningful talks about how they were feeling and why and how they wanted us to handle these kinds of things. Maybe that would work for your daughter, too?

[Woodland Mist Academy]

My daughter becomes quite introspective around her birthday and can get emotional in all directions.

 

She's not in any situations where age is much of a factor right now, so we've not encountered exactly the situation you're describing. Birthdays are still fraught with emotions though.

[Greenmama2]

Yes. The worst so far was DD's 4th birthday which brought a huge crisis about how getting older meant she was going to die (most people save that for their 30th). At her much anticipated and begged for party we were forced to sing "Happy Remembering Day" (remembering being 3) instead of Happy Birthday.