Questions about transferring from one college to another...

[distancia]

DD has just finished her 3rd week at her "choice" school, a small, highly-selective liberal arts college in an artsy, waterfront community--and she's torn between continuing or transferring. She loves the academics (and the status), but the student body is way too liberal and too much into drugs and drinking. She had known prior to attending that the college is considered like a "mini Berkeley" but she didn't think the campus life would be so suffocating. The students are very much night owls (dd is not) and they have open-air parties all weekend with music until 2 am party, so dd has been coming home on weekends to get away from the noise and go back to her early-to-bed early-to-rise routine.

 

Anyway, the biggest issues dd has with transferring are 1) any other school she moves on to will be a big step down in status and 2) she does not do well in large crowds and every other school has a far greater size in student body.

 

DD's present school did have an okay program for her major, but some of the faculty has left and now the department is in a state of flux. So dd has to re-evaluate if she really wants the status of being where she is, or come down a few notches and attend a less rigorous school in a non-descript area, though the school itself has a great department in her major, one of the few in our region.

 

Any advise on this?

Edited September 3, 2011 by distancia

[Photo Ninja]

Will she be happy for the next four years if she stays? That is very important. Four years is a long time to deal with a party atmosphere and everything else that goes with it.

 

School has just started and she already has to come home to sleep. Will she want to continue this routine for the next four years in order to maintain the status of being at that school? Is it worth it to her?

 

I would encourage her to go to school where she feels comfortable and will be able to enjoy her college years, as well as gain the education she needs. Personally, I would recommend the lower status school if it fits her lifestyle better. Does the status of the school really matter for her undergrad degree? Sometimes it does, but often the grad school matters more than the undergrad school. She may find that the lower status school is just as good for her, now that her program is in flux.

[Jane in NC]

If your daughter has been on campus for three weeks, it is safe to assume that the first week was orientation, followed by two weeks of class. Frankly I think that it is premature to consider transferring. Finding friends, a mentor and one's place in a new environment takes longer than three weeks. I would encourage your daughter to join academic clubs to find like minded souls.

 

Secondly, as I recall your daughter's situation, she was weighing two schools with strong positives as well as strong negatives. Perhaps neither school was the right fit? If, after giving her choice college a fighting chance, you chooses to transfer, perhaps she should start from scratch. There are many small, prestigious colleges. Some have conservative student bodies. She really is not limited to only College A or B.

Edited September 3, 2011 by Jane in NC

[Brenda in MA]

I agree with Jane that she should give it some time, but still possibly consider transferring. Has she tried to get involved with some student organizations? She might meet like-minded friends there. From what I can tell, almost all colleges have pretty active party scenes -- but, not everyone participates. It might just take her some time to find the others that don't.

 

It sounds like her living situation is not ideal with the noise and all. Could she possibly transfer to a different dorm that would be away from the noisy parties? Is she able to live in an off campus apartment where she'd have more control over her surroundings, if not this year than next year? Is she close enough to home that she could commute & live at home?

 

Please encourage her to join some clubs and seek out some campus groups that might have some more conservative students if that would make her more comfortable.

 

Best wishes,

Brenda

[Gwen in VA]

I agree with Jane -- put off even thinking about transferring as an option until Christmas. Any discussion of transferring is premature until Christmas.

 

Deadlines for transfer apps are quite late -- mid-February or even March 1 at some schools.

 

Let her focus on getting through this semester!

[distancia]

DD is in her sophomore year at this school, having completed her freshman year at the local comm coll. She is going to stay the semester for sure, and maybe even through the school year. However, deep in the back of her mind are nagging doubts about the choice she made. She knows this school will not help her with her intended field of study, other than allowing her to knock the remaining few core courses off her list before she goes into junior status next year.

 

CONS:

 

--All students at this school are REQUIRED to live on campus until age 21. There are no "quiet dorms" nor quiet hours. Sje is housed in the upper-class apartment buildings, which are supposedly the quietest.

 

--This school is well-known for the student body being very heavily into the use of hallucinogenic drugs, alcohol, cigarette smoking (appx 70% smoke), going barefoot, naked potluck suppers, gender studies [meaning, boys wear skirts, girls shave their heads. etc]. Although dd is very liberally-minded, she is conservative in substances and decorum.

 

--The school has a very intense environment; work hard, party hard

 

--The school offers 1 or 2 classes per semester in my daughter's major, and requires only 15 hours of electives in her area to be considered a "major". Other schools require 40+ core courses in her area of interest and 15 or more electives in her field.

 

--No strong faculty to coordinate seminars, internships, etc--in other words, make connections for upper-level work

 

--30% of the students transfer out by the end of the year

 

PROS:

 

--The college always ranks in the top 10 Of Kiplinger, Princeton Review, Forbes, etc. for academic achievement

 

--It is a great undergrad school for Lit majors, Humanities majors, and International Studies majors (but my daughter is an Environmental Studies major)

 

--The school is 17 miles (about 35 minute drive) from our home and DD is familiar with the area

 

--There is a lot of freedom on campus, with no Greek system, no sports, no pressure to be anything but a very liberal thinker

Edited September 3, 2011 by distancia

[Barbara H]

Status is not a good reason to attend a school in the first place and it isn't a reason to stay. Did she choose the school for the status or was there something else about it that she liked? If she got into good colleges there is no reason to think she wouldn't be able to do so again.

 

It is very early in the school year and if she's coming home every weekend she hasn't had time to get involved in campus or make friends. Whether she plans to transfer or not, I would encourage her to make the effort to try to connect with like minds. Even if she leaves that will still have been worthwhile.

 

If she decided to transfer is she thinking of a particular college(s) that she was admitted to first time around? If so, it may be worth looking at their transfer policies so she can get an idea if they take transfers and what the deadline would be.

[Denise in Florida]

(I was sent you a PM)

 

My oldest dd and her friends all chose different colleges. Some went large some went private, some stayed local. Only two kids returned to the same school at which they started (my dd was one).

 

The only common factor I saw was how quickly they found a small group of kids within the school to become friends with. One of dd's freinds joined a sports team (intermural not college sports) they formed a tight knit group and helped each other out.

 

DD found fellow sci-fi/comic book fans (they self-identify as geeks :tongue_smilie:), they go to the farmer's market together, have Firefly marathons, go to ren faires, dress in costume and go to the comic book shop :lol:.

 

Her friends that intended up coming home or changing schools seemed to try to do it on their own (or with a boyfriend). I really think support groups with common interests makes a huge difference.

[K-FL]

If she just "didn't like" the school, then I'd go with the logic of not involved yet, give it more time, etc, but this seems to be a bad match at the core. Dd isn't as liberal as the "mini-Berkley" types. She's having difficulty getting the classes she needs for her major & getting the basics, like quite & sleep, that she needs to succeed in them. The school is known for its Humanities, but she's in the sciences so that doesn't mean squat to her.

 

All sound like valid reasons to transfer ASAP to me.

[Denise in Florida]

If she just "didn't like" the school, then I'd go with the logic of not involved yet, give it more time, etc, but this seems to be a bad match at the core. Dd isn't as liberal as the "mini-Berkley" types. She's having difficulty getting the classes she needs for her major & getting the basics, like quite & sleep, that she needs to succeed in them. The school is known for its Humanities, but she's in the sciences so that doesn't mean squat to her.

 

All sound like valid reasons to transfer ASAP to me.

 

It is true the college may be a mismatch. However the OP stated her dd would finish the semester and possibly the year. If she can find friends she has interests in common with, she will be happier. The school may be very liberal but if she is there and would prefer a more sedate environment then it is likely other kids are there that feel the same way.

[Candid]

I think it would be good for her to really look hard for a local place to find friends. Are there groups she could join with other that share or interests, hobbies, religion, or values?

 

However, since you live so close, I would also be open to the option of living at home while having a room on campus. I doubt that a school with this kind of atmosphere is going to be doing bed checks to make sure she is really spending the night in her room.

 

This would allow her to extend her time at the school for at least another semester giving her some time to think and apply elsewhere. With the second semester she could apply as a junior transfer and maybe get off campus living?

[distancia]

Thank you all. We have offered dd the opportunity to live at home and commute to school. just using her dorm room as a study place or "quiet" retreat during the day. We'll see what happens....

 

DD has made some friends, so to speak, who are not into drugs; she also told me that the campus is a very loving community with high student involvement. That said, she finds too many distractions going on around her.

 

DD is the type--has always been the type--who likes to compartmentalize her life. She treats school as a job, and academics as a part of the job she enjoys very much. She prefers to go to class, pay 100% attention in the classroom (no socializing), leave the classroom and campus, and study on more neutral territory--a coffee shop, the beach, a park, her bedroom, by the pool, etc. She generally has friends who are outside of the classroom and involved in activities and sports like sailing, hiking, dance, etc. not found on campus. For her to be enmeshed in campus activities and have her life revolving around campus makes her feel very "stale" [her words].

 

As a homeschooled child she has dealt with so many people of different backgrounds and ages that now, being stuck in a group of peers who are all so similar, she feels suffocated.

[Yolanda in Mass]

DD is the type--has always been the type--who likes to compartmentalize her life. She treats school as a job, and academics as a part of the job she enjoys very much. She prefers to go to class, pay 100% attention in the classroom (no socializing), leave the classroom and campus, and study on more neutral territory--a coffee shop, the beach, a park, her bedroom, by the pool, etc. She generally has friends who are outside of the classroom and involved in activities and sports like sailing, hiking, dance, etc. not found on campus. For her to be enmeshed in campus activities and have her life revolving around campus makes her feel very "stale" [her words].

 

As a homeschooled child she has dealt with so many people of different backgrounds and ages that now, being stuck in a group of peers who are all so similar, she feels suffocated.

 

You know your dd very well! I just had to post that one of the most under appreciated benefits of homeschooling is how well we get to know our kids and how well our kids get to know themselves. One of the many gifts of homeschooling! I believe that it is this self-knowledge that enables our kids to appear more mature than their peers. I am always amazed at how well my kids know themselves - sometimes better than I know myself.

 

Yolanda

[Susan C.]

Ds attends a local college and has lived at home the entire time. He had to apply for an exemption in freshman year, it was allowed in a certain radius around the school. They don't force locals to live on campus.

 

Both of my dc are quiet, creative, more introvert. Both have said they don't think dorms are for them. We also eat healthy, and cafeteria food at larger universities can be what dh called "mystery food." Luckily, the local college has great food when it is needed.

 

We know a girl (homeschooled) that was offered a full scholarship to a well known university. She bailed either at a semester or end of first year. She didn't like the student life either. She went on to get a great degree closer to home.

[Ria]

I read your post and immediately thought, St. John's. Might not be the same school, but I have heard exactly what you described about it.

 

Anyway, wait out the first semester...she'd probably be better off finishing the year there, but by the holidays she should know whether or not she wants to transfer and can work on that during the spring semester. Sorry she's so unhappy.

:grouphug: